<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Unfortunately No (But Actually Yes) by Kicon</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29068758">Unfortunately No (But Actually Yes)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kicon/pseuds/Kicon'>Kicon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Yes, No, Maybe So [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Best Friends, Birthday Party, Bisexual Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Blow Jobs, Bottom Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Bromance to Romance, Coming Untouched, Confessions, Deepthroating, Denial of Feelings, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Dirty Talk, Domestic Fluff, Drinking, Emotional Sex, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, First Time, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Gratuitous Smut, Hand Jobs, Intercrural Sex, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Marijuana, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Orgasm Delay, Pansexual Nishinoya Yuu, Porn Watching, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Rimming, Rough Sex, Sexual Confusion, Sexuality Crisis, Sharing a Bed, Shower Sex, Smut, Third Year Nishinoya Yuu, Top Nishinoya Yuu, Truth or Dare, Underage Substance Use, third year tanaka ryuunosuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:13:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>97,131</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29068758</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kicon/pseuds/Kicon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"You can take care of it if you want," Noya said suddenly. "I don't mind."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Tanaka didn't know it was possible for him to blush more than he already had been, but there he was, probably turning purple at this point. "W-What?!"</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Noya blinked innocently up at him, and sure Tanaka had never known the guy to be shy or embarrassed or have any reservations about anything, but this—this was something else entirely.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Tanaka Ryuunosuke is a simple guy.  He plays volleyball, cooks for his family, and adores his best friend Nishinoya Yuu.  But when he walks in on Noya jerking off one day, their friendship begins to take a strange turn.  What starts out as porn-watching and mutual masturbation quickly turns into something else, and if their friendship is going to survive, Tanaka's going to have to find the strength to open his eyes to what's right in front of him.</p><p> <br/>**Underage explanation: This takes place during Tanaka and Noya's third year of high school, so they're both 17 at the start, and Noya turns 18 during the course of the story.  The age of adulthood in Japan is 20.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nishinoya Yuu/Tanaka Ryuunosuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Yes, No, Maybe So [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2218113</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>211</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>258</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Step One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello friends!  This is both the longest and porniest fic I've ever written, so I hope y'all enjoy lol</p><p>A few notes:<br/>- The age of consent in Japan is 13, but the age of adulthood is 20.  This takes place during Tanaka and Noya's third year of high school, so they're both 17 at the start, and Noya turns 18 during the course of the story.  This is an <span class="u">explicit</span> fic with lots of sex scenes, so if their ages make you uncomfortable then don't read.</p><p>- I tagged this fic with "underage substance use," "drinking," and "marijuana."  There are 3 scenes with substance use, but I want to be clear that nothing happens between the two of them when they're under the influence.</p><p>- Tanaka and Noya watch a lot of porn together in this fic, and I describe a lot of it especially in the beginning when the porn is still the main focus for them.  I didn't tag the story with anything from the porns bc that would be so many tags and it already has a lot.  So!  If you want to prep yourself for the porn scenes, I'll put brief descriptions of them and any necessary warnings in the notes at the end of each chapter.</p><p>- I don't read the manga, so I don't know any of the canon results of their matches past Inarizaki.  Everything regarding Nationals and the results of games in this fic I made up, so this fic is manga spoiler free.</p><p>- This fic is technically compliant with my KageHina fic <i>Kiss With a Fist</i>.  Mostly I just didn't want to come up with new OC's for the first years or another alternate canon lol, but the two fics can work together.</p><p>- Other pairings in this fic: mentioned established DaiSuga, minor established KageHina, and minor pre-relationship Yachi/OFC.</p><p>- If you love this underrated ship as much as I do, feel free to check out the TanaNoya fan blog I run on tumblr: <a href="https://tananoyaarchive.tumblr.com">TanaNoya Archive</a>.</p><p>- And finally, there is a playlist for this fic made by my lovely fiancée (<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/liquidtime/pseuds/liquidtime">liquidtime</a> here on AO3).  It can be found on Spotify <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7LD0T84XGxR0EeiEdz0mLf?si=211fd65fd7654f61">here</a>, and it follows the story with four songs per chapter &lt;3</p><p>Happy reading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun was just beginning to peek out from behind the morning cloud cover when Tanaka sauntered up the walk to the front door of the Nishinoya home.  He fished his house keys from his pocket, finding by touch alone the one that would allow him to enter the small house that he spent half his time at.</p><p>Humming happily to himself, Tanaka let himself in.  It was a beautiful Saturday free of morning volleyball practice, and he and Noya were going to spend it playing video games.  It was going to be a great day.</p><p>"Oh, <em>fuuuck</em>."</p><p>Tanaka froze in the genkan of the Nishinoya home, listening hard for what had sounded like the voice of his best friend.  Logically, Tanaka should be the only one awake in the house right now.  Noya's mom was already at work, and Noya usually slept until noon if Tanaka didn't come over to wake him up.  Maybe Noya left his television on last night?</p><p>Figuring that was the right answer, Tanaka moved noiselessly down the hallway after exchanging his shoes for his pair of guest slippers, listening for more sounds.  He thought he heard some rustling, but that was probably Noya just moving around in his sleep.  When he reached the doorway for Noya's bedroom, he quietly turned the door handle and pushed it open, ready to perform his signature jump-attack to wake his friend, only to stop dead in his tracks once more.</p><p>Oh fuck was right.</p><p>Noya was not asleep.  Noya was very much awake.  Noya was sitting upright in his bed, back against the wall, naked as the day he was born with his fist wrapped tight around his dick.</p><p>Tanaka's mouth went dry.  He shouldn't be seeing this.  He should just go back out the front door and wait ten minutes, then loudly come back inside.  But Noya was biting his lip and whining as he jerked himself off, one hand crawling up his chest to tweak at one of his own nipples, and Tanaka couldn't look away.</p><p>His best friend's hair was down and messy, the typical licks of bedhead sticking every which way without the power of gel to keep it in place.  A pretty red flush was dusted across his face.  His breathing came hot and heavy, with sensual little sounds being emitted every now and then when he twisted his wrist just right.</p><p><em>Move</em>, Tanaka told himself. <em>Leave.  Walk away.  Please</em>, he begged, but his feet were steadfastly rooted to the floor.</p><p>Noya's pace increased, hand flying over his length with a frenzied fervor.  His other hand pinched and twisted his nipple, leaving it red and puckered when he abandoned it to bestow attention to the other one.  Tanaka felt a stab in his gut at the sight.</p><p>"Aaahh—nnn, fuck, ah, ah, shit, <em>fuckshitfu</em>—" Noya babbled, then cut himself off with a sharp cry.  Suddenly, white ropes shot straight from the tip of his cock, painting his chest in the sticky substance.  His toes curled into the bedsheets, back arching as his head ground into the wall behind him, stroking himself through his climax.</p><p>The blood that had rushed to Tanaka's face when he first saw Noya now drained out and pooled in his belly instead.  His eyes were fixed on his best friend, who was currently floating in post-orgasm bliss.  Noya's body was relaxed now, slumped against the wall on the few pillows he'd propped himself up on.  A small smile shaped his mouth, which was pink and slightly swollen, like he'd been nibbling on the lower lip before Tanaka had showed up.  His hand had fallen to the wayside, tracing patterns absentmindedly over his right thigh, which was covered with sparse dark hairs.</p><p>All in all, he was the picture of contentment, and his eyes were still closed.</p><p>If Tanaka was a smart man, he would've taken that moment to walk away and act like he hadn't seen anything.  It should've been his cue to take his leave.  But Tanaka hadn't been called thick-skulled his whole life for nothing.  Which was why, when a moment later Noya sighed happily and opened his eyes—presumably about to find something to clean himself off with—his gaze locked on to Tanaka lurking in the doorway instead.</p><p>"Ryuu?" Noya croaked, his voice still heady, and it sent heat straight south in Tanaka's body and promptly short-circuited his brain.</p><p>"Noya!" Tanaka exclaimed. "Nice kill, man!  Good game!  Strong!  Yeah.  Gonna, um, gonna—just—"</p><p>His fight or flight finally kicked in, and he flew just like a crow, turning on his heel and sprinting down the hallway to the front door with Hinata-like speed.</p><p>"Ry—wait!" Noya called after him, but there was no stopping Tanaka now. </p><p>He quickly changed his shoes and then barreled out the doorway, ignoring Noya shouting for him from the bedroom.  The guy was naked and covered in jizz, so Tanaka was confident he wouldn't be closely pursued.  He had just decided to run all the way home—which honestly wasn't that far, just down the street and then a left and a right—when his phone started buzzing in his pocket.  <em>Noya-san!!</em>, the screen read, accompanied by a selfie of Noya taken from a hideously unflattering upward angle.</p><p>Tanaka slowed to a stop, fingers hesitating over the answer button.  He wanted to ignore it so badly, but the last time he'd ignored one of Noya's calls the shorter man made him regret it for months.  It had been a few years since then, but Tanaka couldn't risk it.  He shuddered at the memories of the vicious pranks and pressed answer.</p><p>"<em>Ryuu!  What the fuck, man?</em>"</p><p>Dread started churning in his belly. "Listen, dude, I'm sor—"</p><p>"<em>Where'd you go?  We have plans, remember?</em>"</p><p>"Well—" He stopped, caught off guard.  He knew they had plans, that was why he was over there in the first place, but—</p><p>"<em>Saints Row, Ryuu!  Saints Row!  Get your ass back over here!</em>"</p><p>With that, Noya hung up.  Tanaka pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it in surprise.  Noya was being normal.  And why wouldn't he be?  So Tanaka had walked in on him masturbating.  It was bound to happen eventually, with how much time they spent barging into each other's homes.  In fact, it was more surprising that it hadn't happened sooner.</p><p>Right.  This was fine.  Everything was fine.  Noya clearly wasn't upset about what happened because there was nothing really to be upset about.  Nodding to himself, pleased with this rationalization, Tanaka turned and walked back down the street toward Noya's.</p><p>And anyway, he thought as he walked, it wasn't the first time he'd seen Noya naked before.  It wasn't even the first time he'd seen Noya's dick.  They'd known each other since middle school and have been changing in the same clubroom for over two years now.  And one time they held a hands-free windmilling competition in the clubroom, which Noya had won simply because he hadn't stopped when Daichi walked in and started yelling at them.</p><p>It was, however, the first time Tanaka had seen Noya…like <em>that</em>.  With flushed skin, curled toes, working over his erection with breathy moans and a twitchy hand.  That was new.  Also new was the fact that Tanaka hadn't been able to look away, that he hadn't been immediately disgusted and turned around, that maybe he'd been a little—</p><p>Tanaka abruptly stopped walking, took a wide stance like he was about to perfectly receive a ball, then let out a guttural scream as he slapped both hands against his face.</p><p>It was fairly early on a Saturday morning, so he was mostly alone, but shouting in the middle of a residential neighborhood never went unnoticed.  A woman walking her dog turned immediately back around the corner she'd just come from.  A couple windows clicked shut, and someone shouted, "<em>Fuck off!</em>" from within one of the nearby houses.</p><p>"Sorry!" Tanaka called to the vicinity, then straightened up and took a deep breath.  That was just the thing he needed to clear his mind.  He paused a moment to relish in the surprisingly chilly August morning and began to briskly make his way back to Noya's home.</p><p>It was a weird morning, he admitted, but it was nothing to dwell on.  They'd laugh about it someday.  Knowing them, they'd probably laugh about it ten minutes from now.</p><p>"Sorry for the intrusion!" he called unnecessarily, letting himself in through the front door.</p><p>"There you are!" Noya said, his voice muffled as he came out of the living room.  A piece of bread was hanging from his lips. "Want toast?"</p><p>Tanaka's throat went a little dry.  Noya was dressed now—<em>of course he's dressed, why wouldn't he be dressed</em>—but even the loose shirt and boxers seemed indecent to him.  Tanaka had half a mind to dress Noya in a onesie so he wasn't showing any skin, but that would be weird, and he'd decided to not be weird.</p><p>"Ryuu?" Noya asked with raised eyebrows.</p><p>"Yeah!" he exclaimed, brought back to the moment.</p><p>Noya grinned, then ripped the toast from his mouth and began chewing. "Thought so.  Check the toaster," he said.  Then he opened his mouth to show Tanaka the soggy mess of toast there.</p><p>"Gross," Tanaka said, shoving Noya away from him.  Noya laughed and spun back toward the living room where the PS3 and the newest <em>Saints Row</em> awaited them.</p><p><em>That was good</em>, he told himself as he switched his shoes for slippers again and walked through the living room and into the kitchen.  The toaster popped right as he walked in, two fresh slices waiting for him. <em>That was normal.  This is fine.  Everything is fine</em>.</p><p>He grabbed the toast and went out into the living room, where Noya was wiggling with excitement as he slipped the video game disk into the console.  As the game loaded up, they flipped a coin to see who would get to play first.</p><p>"Aw, man," Noya complained when it landed on heads, the side he'd chosen.</p><p>"What are you complaining about?" Tanaka asked, rolling his eyes as he pulled a pillow off the sofa to sit on the floor with. "You get to go first."</p><p>"Dude, you know the beginning is all tutorial and shit," Noya grumbled.</p><p>"So you'll be better than me cause you get all the practice," Tanaka pointed out.</p><p>Noya brightened at this, taking a seat next to Tanaka on the floor.  Their knees touched, and Tanaka pulled away before he realized that was being weird when he was supposed to not be weird.  Noya squinted questioningly at him but turned his attention back to the television screen and began a new game.  Tanaka set a thirty-minute timer on his phone and settled in to watch.</p><p>"Hey," Noya said, once the long introductory cut-scene was over, biting his lip as he directed his character to hide from gunfire. "About this morning."</p><p>Tanaka tensed. "Yeah?"</p><p>"I thought I'd be able to finish before you came over," Noya continued, a laugh in his voice. "Sorry about that."</p><p>"'s no big deal," Tanaka said, going for nonchalance, but his aim was apparently off.</p><p>"You sure about that?  You seemed pretty—<em>fuck</em>," Noya cursed, shooting at a terrorist. "Pretty freaked out."</p><p>"I was <em>not</em>—"</p><p>"Dude," Noya snickered. "You started congratulating me like we'd won a match.  <em>Nice kill!</em>" Noya full-on snorted, and it made Tanaka's face flame.</p><p>"Okay, fine, you caught me off guard.  Happy?" Tanaka said.</p><p>"Caught you off guard with how big it is, right?" Noya asked with a wicked grin.</p><p>Tanaka burned with embarrassment, and he fixed his eyes unblinkingly at the television, bidding his mind not to conjure up the image of Noya jerking off that was now permanently imprinted in his brain.</p><p>"Told ya I was a grower," Noya said triumphantly, then swore when a barrel exploded too close to him.</p><p>"If only the rest of your body followed suit," Tanaka countered, reaching out and patting the top of Noya's head.</p><p>Tanaka had hit his growth spurt in their last year of middle school, and he remembered the day they realized he had finally become taller than Noya and had to change the angle at which he looked at him.  Noya was so mad he swore he wouldn't speak to Tanaka for a week, but he caved after an hour.</p><p>"Oh fuck off," Noya said, elbowing Tanaka sharply in the side, but he was grinning just the same.</p><p><em>See?  You're fine</em>, Tanaka told himself.</p><p>They settled into a comfortable silence, broken up by exclamations and excitement over the shootouts and action scenes.  Half an hour later, the alarm went off on Tanaka's phone, and it was his turn.  He took the controller from Noya and began to quickly learn what each button did.  Noya shifted and stretched out on the living room floor, draping his legs across Tanaka's lap, his usual position when watching Tanaka play video games.  Tanaka smiled and relaxed into it, grateful to have a friend as chill as Noya.</p><p>"Yuu?  Did you—oh, Ryuu, are you here too?" Noya's mother called when she got home a few hours later.</p><p>She came around the corner and smiled when she saw them sitting together.</p><p>"You look magnificent today, Nishinoya-san!" Tanaka declared, smiling widely at her.</p><p>"Why thank you," she replied, putting a hand to her chest and blushing.</p><p>Tanaka hadn't been lying or exaggerating.  Nishinoya Katsumi always looked beautiful, a combination of good genes, personal care, and the fact she was only in her early thirties, having given birth to Noya before she graduated high school.  It was easy to see where Noya got his hair, eyes, and nose when you looked at her.</p><p>"Quit hitting on my mom, bro," Noya grumbled good-naturedly as he always did when Tanaka complimented his mother.</p><p>"Can't help it," Tanaka whispered. "I'm a man of taste."</p><p>Noya sharply elbowed him, but Tanaka laughed and ruffled Noya's hair in retaliation.</p><p>"When you get home today, will you tell Saeko that we got in a shipment of her ice cream bars?" Katsumi asked, her voice floating through the house. "Or, are you staying here tonight?  I can just give her a call later."</p><p>"Nah, I gotta go home today, so I'll tell her," Tanaka called back, watching as Noya focused on out-driving some cops in the game. "She told me to tell you she has some new, uh…'hot goss' about the, um, poodle situation?"</p><p>"Ooo, how exciting," Katsumi said from somewhere in the home as she bustled about getting ready to go to her next job. "I'll definitely give her a call tonight."</p><p>Tanaka and Noya exchanged a look and rolled their eyes.  The boys had first met when Noya and his mom moved to the neighborhood five years ago before the start of middle school, and Noya's mom and Tanaka's sister had become friends almost as quickly as they had.</p><p>The women met at the local urgent care, where Tanaka had just gotten his lip stitched up.  He'd bitten it when he landed wrong after he jumped off a tall play structure in the park.  Well, <em>jumped</em> was a strong word.  Noya had pushed him.</p><p>At the urgent care, Katsumi kept demanding that Noya apologize, but both boys insisted that Tanaka had asked Noya to push him because Tanaka was too scared to jump on his own.  When Saeko finally arrived and had the situation explained to her, they had recognized something of a kindred spirit in the other, both stuck with raising nearly-feral teenage boys, and were friends ever since.</p><p>"Okay, I think I have everything," Katsumi muttered, digging around in her purse.  She'd exchanged her store clerk uniform for her waitressing uniform.</p><p>"Your bento is in the fridge," Noya said, eyes still on the television.</p><p>"Right!" she exclaimed, walking back toward the kitchen.  She emerged moments later and somehow managed to shove the bento box into her already-stuffed purse. "What would I do without you?" she asked, stepping purposely in front of the television to kiss the top of Noya's head.</p><p>"Kaa-san!  The screen!" Noya complained with a smile on his face.</p><p>She laughed and bestowed a kiss on top of Tanaka's head too before walking away.</p><p>"Stay out of trouble, boys!" she called as she slipped her shoes on and then left.</p><p>"Your mom's the best," Tanaka said when the door had clicked shut.</p><p>"She's okay," Noya said with a shrug, but Tanaka could hear the love in his voice. "When do you need to go home?"</p><p>"Ah, probably in like an hour," Tanaka replied. "Wanna come with?"</p><p>"Duh."</p><p>Tanaka smiled, and about an hour later they stopped playing and departed the Nishinoya residence.  They walked together through the neighborhood, Noya talking loudly about their new video game, and Tanaka was happy just to listen to him.  He'd always been happy to listen to Noya, even way back when they first met.</p><p>That trip to the urgent care hadn't been their first meeting, but it did come shortly after.  They officially met at that same park, but Tanaka had actually seen Noya for the first time a couple days prior to that.  He was waiting for Saeko on the bench outside some ladies' clothing store, sucking on the popsicle she'd given him as a persuasion to be good and stay put, when he'd spotted Noya across the street.</p><p>He saw a boy bouncing along the sidewalk in front of a pretty woman Tanaka had assumed to be the boy's sister.  The young boy skipped and darted every which way, pausing to exclaim over the tiniest things, then letting out a shrill laugh before continuing to be amazed by something else innocuous.</p><p>Tanaka's eyes tracked them as they continued down the sidewalk, and then—suddenly the boy was flying through the air, having caught his toe on a piece of cracked sidewalk.  He hit the concrete and slid, and the woman with him was instantly crouched by his side.  Tanaka waited for the tears and the hysterical wails, but they never came.</p><p>The boy rolled over to his backside and pulled his knees up, staring at and exclaiming over the injury with just as much fascination as he'd had when looking over the store front windows or the flower bush or the snail on the ground.  He smiled up at the woman, who laughed and helped him to his feet, and he continued to bounce along until they turned a corner and went out of sight.</p><p>Something behind Tanaka's navel tugged, and he suddenly wanted nothing more than to cross the street and share his popsicle with this strange, ever-smiling boy.</p><p>"What are you smiling about, punk?" Saeko asked when she came out of the store a half-second later.</p><p>Tanaka hadn't realized he was smiling, and he didn't know how to explain the big feeling that was suddenly taking up all the room in his chest, so he just shrugged and shoved the melting popsicle back in his mouth as they started walking home.  As they walked, Tanaka looked over his shoulder to catch one last glimpse of the boy, but he and the woman were gone, likely never to be seen again.</p><p>"What's got you so thoughtful?" Noya asked as they walked, breaking Tanaka from his reverie.</p><p>"Thinking about when we first met," Tanaka said.  Noya didn't know about Tanaka seeing him first just days before they'd actually met.  There was no reason <em>not</em> to tell him, really, but it was a moment that Tanaka just wanted to hold on to.</p><p>Noya laughed. "Sappy."</p><p>"Eh." Tanaka shrugged good-naturedly. "You got me there."</p><p>But how could he not be sappy when fate somehow guided them to meet again only a few days later at the local park in their shared neighborhood?</p><p>Tanaka had struggled to make friends as a child.  Something about his loud voice and his intense eyes and the tendency for his smiles to look like grimaces usually led to other kids not wanting to be around him.  He'd been particularly torn up about it after graduating from elementary school, scared about going to a new school full of new kids who would avoid him just the same.</p><p>His dad had told him it wouldn't always be this way, that he'd make friends eventually.  Then he said sports were a good way to meet people, and so Tanaka had spent most of the school break practicing to try out for his middle school volleyball team.</p><p>He was bumping the ball to himself at the mostly-deserted park, trying to keep control of it like his dad taught him to, when out of nowhere something came crashing into him.  He cried out, and whatever hit him cried out too, and they landed in a heap of tangled arms and legs on the grass.</p><p>"Whoa, watch out!" said his attacker, who appeared to be a boy about his age.</p><p>Annoyance flared inside Tanaka as he and the strange boy started to disentangle themselves.</p><p>"Who are you telling to watch out?!" Tanaka snapped, schooling his features into what he knew was an intimidating glare.  It was a face he made often at his sister, who always told him one day it might get stuck like that, but he didn't believe her.  Much.</p><p>Tanaka expected the boy to get startled, to shrink away, to run off and tell his mother or something, but he didn't.  Instead, he grinned widely, and Tanaka paused.  He knew that grin.  This was the same boy who'd smiled after skinning his knees the other day.</p><p>"I like your energy, dude!" the boy declared, then held his hand out. "I'm Nishinoya Yuu, and I'm new in town!"</p><p>"Uh…" Tanaka blinked and hesitantly took Nishinoya's hand. "I'm Tanaka Ryuunosuke, and I've lived here my whole life."</p><p>"Cool!" Nishinoya said, rising to his feet and pulling Tanaka up with him.  Tanaka was surprised to see the boy was several centimeters taller than him. "Hey, your name's really cool.  <em>Ryuunosuke</em>."</p><p>Tanaka blushed.  He'd secretly thought the name was somewhat of a mouthful. "Uh, thanks?  My dad and sister just call me Ryuu though."</p><p>"Like a dragon?!" Nishinoya exclaimed, eyes going wide and bright. "That's so awesome!  Can I call you that too?  I like first names better anyway."</p><p>"S-sure," Tanaka said, and he felt himself start to smile.  His name sounded nice when the boy said it.</p><p>"Sorry for crashing into you like that," Nishinoya said. "I'm training to be a ninja, but I guess I gotta learn to look where I'm going."</p><p>"It's okay." Tanaka spotted his volleyball where it had landed a few feet away and walked over to pick it up.</p><p>"What are you training to be?"</p><p>"A volleyball player."</p><p>"Wanna train to be a ninja instead?"</p><p>He paused, then shrugged. "Yeah, okay."</p><p>After that, he and Nishinoya met in the park every day so Nishinoya could train him in the ninja arts.  It mostly meant a lot of running and jumping and trying to be quiet enough to sneak up on pigeons, which of course they never were.  Every evening that week Tanaka returned home happier and sweatier than the day before.  His dad and sister were amused and pestered him about who he was playing with, but he avoided telling them.  Irrationally, he wanted to keep Nishinoya to himself for as long as possible.</p><p>Their ninja practice was how Tanaka had ended up getting pushed off the play structure.  Nishinoya had done the jump earlier, landing in a perfect roll and coming to a stop crouched and unharmed.  Tanaka wanted to do it too, but the height scared him.  He'd convinced Nishinoya to push him on the count of three so he couldn't back out of the jump, but Nishinoya's hands were too eager.</p><p>He'd ended up pushing Tanaka too hard and too early, and Tanaka tipped forward, arms wind milling comically in an attempt to keep his balance, but gravity won out as it usually did, and he came crashing down.  In movies and television, falling always looked like it happened in slow motion, but that hadn't been the case for Tanaka.  One moment his sneakers were desperately trying to keep a grip on the smooth metal bars, and the next his body was stinging all over and he tasted blood in his mouth.</p><p>The memory of Nishinoya laughing at his scraped knees had come back to Tanaka at that moment, but he didn't feel up to laughing about his own cuts and bruises.  Nishinoya was better than him in that way. <em> In all ways</em>, he thought, ashamed at his failed jump.</p><p>Nishinoya wasn't bothered by it, though, and he didn't make fun of Tanaka either.  Instead, he helped the shorter boy to his feet and walked them to his house, which was just two blocks away.  His mother had actually been home for once, and she freaked out at the sight of her son bringing a strange bloody boy into her home and immediately took them to the urgent care.</p><p>"Why'd you push me early?" Tanaka had asked as they waited for Saeko to come pick him up, his speech somewhat slurred from his swollen and bandaged lip.</p><p>"I thought if you knew it was coming that you'd resist it," Nishinoya replied. "So I did it early to make sure you didn't."</p><p>"That was a good idea," Tanaka said, nodding solemnly.</p><p>On the other side of the waiting bench they were on, Nishinoya's mother scoffed as she turned another page in the magazine she was reading.</p><p>"Thanks!" Nishinoya said, ignoring her.</p><p>"I don't think I'm cut out to be a ninja, though," Tanaka said mournfully.</p><p>"That's okay!" Nishinoya told him. "I'll just be a volleyball player instead, like you."</p><p>Tanaka looked at him in surprise. "Are you sure?  But you really wanted to be a ninja."</p><p>"Eh." Nishinoya shrugged. "What I really want is to keep hanging out with you."</p><p>"R-Really?" Tanaka's face got warm, and he quickly turned his eyes down to his hands in his lap.</p><p>"Yeah!  We're friends, aren't we?"</p><p>Words failed him, so he just nodded as tears filled his eyes.</p><p>"But you gotta start calling me Noya, okay?  All my friends at home did."</p><p>"Shouldn't I call you Yuu, though?  If you call me Ryuu?"</p><p>"Nah, only my mom can call me Yuu.  Plus, our names sound too similar.  We can't be Ryuu and Yuu.  But we can be Ryuu and Noya." Nishinoya leaned down and over so he could get into Tanaka's downturned eyesight. "Yeah?"</p><p>Tanaka smiled as best as he could with his busted lip, and something indescribable burned in his chest as he answered, "Yeah."</p><p>Now, a little over five years later, Noya was letting himself into the Tanaka household like he owned the place, putting on his pair of slippers and walking straight into the kitchen to rummage through their fridge.  Looking back, it was a little comical that he'd been surprised that Noya wanted to be his friend, as if there had ever been any doubt that was what they were meant to be.  His childhood insecurities had their merits, of course, but upon reflection it was clear from day one that Tanaka and Noya were cut from the same cloth, that they'd found the person whose rough edges aligned with their own.</p><p>After deciding that they were both going to play volleyball, they'd thrown themselves into it with full force.  Noya quickly discovered the libero position was basically the ninja of volleyball, and a new dream burst forth for the both of them: Noya's to always be there to protect his team, and Tanaka's to be the kind of spiker who deserved to have Noya watching his back.  They hadn't ended up going to the same middle school, which <em>sucked</em>, but they played together during their spare time anyway and made the decision to go to Karasuno together.</p><p>Tanaka liked to think they'd both mostly achieved their dreams by now.  They were partway through their third year, Tanaka was vice-captain and the ace, and Noya was training a first year to carry on his legacy as Guardian Deity before going on to college volleyball.  But Tanaka knew that, no matter what they did this year, it would never feel like enough.  Their time was running out, just like it had for their own upperclassmen.</p><p>"What all do you have to do?" Noya asked, hopping up on the counter with a popsicle in his mouth that he'd stolen from the freezer.  Stolen was a strong term, though, considering that Tanaka made Saeko buy them just for Noya anyway.</p><p>"Prep meals for the week," Tanaka replied, opening the fridge to reach for the ingredients he wanted. "Then we should probably do some homework."</p><p>Noya jerked his head around to stare at Tanaka, his expression one of personal offense.  Tanaka held his gaze for a long moment, and then his mouth curved into a wicked grin.  Noya smiled and took the popsicle out of his mouth.</p><p>"Man, you really had me there for a moment," Noya crowed.</p><p>"Aw come on, you know me better than that," Tanaka countered.</p><p>"So we gonna play <em>Smash</em>?"</p><p>"Of course," Tanaka said. "After I clean the bathroom though."</p><p>"What if I clean it for you?"</p><p>Tanaka levelled him with a stern glare. "Saeko still remembers the last time you tried to help me with my chores, and yes, you're still banned."</p><p>Noya grinned, but Tanaka could practically <em>feel</em> Saeko's hand across his face when she'd discovered that all of her white clothing had turned pink in the wash load that Noya had done.</p><p>"Okay, okay, if you insist," Noya replied, holding his hands up in defeat. "When's your dad back?"</p><p>"Tomorrow night, I think," Tanaka said as he began chopping some green onions.</p><p>He'd become a halfway decent cook out of sheer necessity.  His dad was a flight attendant, which gave him a weird schedule.  He was always gone for days at a time, coming and leaving at odd hours of the day depending on what flights he was assigned to.  And since Tanaka and Saeko's mom had died eleven years ago, the pair had to fend for themselves most of the time.</p><p>Saeko's cooking was downright terrible, so at first they'd depended on takeout and convenience store food, but once Tanaka joined volleyball he had to actually start eating properly, so he'd forced himself to learn some recipes.  Now he had quite the repertoire.</p><p>Noya chatted to him amiably as Tanaka cooked.  The nice thing about Noya was that he didn't need you to talk back much.  Usually Tanaka did engage in the conversation, and half the time they would talk over each other in their excitement, but whenever Tanaka had to focus on something, Noya could go on and on by himself without any encouragement, a living white noise machine whenever Tanaka needed him to be.  Tanaka listened and responded when he had things to say, but for the most part he focused on the food.</p><p>Once the preparations were done for the week, Noya followed him to the bathroom and kept him company there too, still chattering about whatever popped into his overactive mind.  Tanaka was smiling the whole time, listening to the comforting and familiar lilt of his voice, which he knew as well as his own.  An hour later, Tanaka was done with his chores for the day, and they could play video games to their heart's content.</p><p>Tanaka and Noya shared everything that was possible to share, which was nice because that meant they didn't need to buy two of hardly anything.  One of the main things they split was video games.  They'd decided years ago that Tanaka had dominion over Nintendo—the Wii had been a Christmas present for the both of them from Noya's mom and Tanaka's dad and sister—and Noya would cover PlayStation, which they'd saved their allowance money for ages to purchase.</p><p>"S'up losers?" Saeko called when she got home late that night. "Y'all sitting in the dark?" she asked, flipping on the living room light.</p><p>They squinted up at her from where they sat on the floor in front of the sofa.  It had gotten dark quickly, but both of them had been too lazy to get up and turn the lights on.  Tanaka quickly paused the game.  He was currently winning, and he didn't want Noya to take advantage of the distraction of his sister.</p><p>"Hey big sis!" Noya called, smiling brightly.</p><p>"Hey Yuu," she replied, dropping her purse on the ground.</p><p>"Nishinoya-san says she got in that ice cream you like," Tanaka said in lieu of a greeting.</p><p>"Fuck yeah."</p><p>"And she said she'll call you about the poodle thing."</p><p>Saeko let out a squeal similar to the one Kastumi had emitted. "Oh it's so juicy, she's gonna love it.  You two sleeping here or there tonight?"</p><p>"Here," Noya answered.</p><p>"Ryuu, did you cook dinner or do I have to call in?"</p><p>"Look in the fridge before you ask me stupid questions," Tanaka grumbled.</p><p>She let out a brash laugh and continued into the house toward the kitchen.  Noya bumped Tanaka's shoulder, and Tanaka smiled down at him, and then they resumed gameplay.</p><p>Later, as Saeko's shrieking laughter floated out from beyond her bedroom door—she was presumably on the phone with Katsumi—Tanaka and Noya got ready for bed.  They had their own toothbrushes at each other's places as well as a slightly ridiculous amount of spare clothes.  The Tanaka household's guest futon had taken permanent residence on the floor of Tanaka's bedroom as of three years ago when the family finally came to terms with the fact that they never had any other guests, and it's been de facto Noya's ever since.</p><p>Tanaka laid in his bed, staring up at the squares of moonlight cast by the window onto his ceiling, and thought about how weird the start of this day had been.  He still couldn't believe he'd freaked out as much as he did.  He knew Noya jerked off, and Noya knew that he jerked off, and they'd even talked about it, but there was something about seeing it that was completely different.</p><p>Seeing Noya's flushed skin, his face screwed up in an expression of excruciating pleasure, hearing the breathy pants and moans, watching as Noya's hand stroked up and down, up and down…it had caused something in him to twist and tighten.  He'd been caught off guard, yes, but he'd also been—</p><p>Tanaka swallowed down the thought.  He'd been nothing.  He'd had a simple physical reaction that was to be expected when confronted with the sight of something sexual.  What was he but a red-blooded seventeen-year old boy?  It didn't mean anything.</p><p>He needed to get his mind off of it.</p><p>Shifting his pillow beneath his head, he drew his thoughts to a different subject, one of his favorites.  As he dwelled on the softness of Kiyoko's rare smiles, the way her hair flowed in the wind, he felt himself be dragged down into sleep, and he was all too happy to leave this weird day behind him.</p><p>/ / /</p><p>
  <em>Kiyoko hovered above him, her lips mere centimeters from his.  Their breaths mingled, and he could feel her breasts pressed against his chest.  Her skin was soft, and when she kissed him he discovered her lips were miraculously softer.  She tasted like mint and chamomile.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her mouth left his, and she slipped away from him, hands pressing and trailing as she explored his torso.  His blood rushed down to his painful erection.  He wanted to touch himself, but he waited for her to make the first move.  She settled herself between his legs, and he burned in anticipation.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gently, he reached down and brushed a hand through her long locks.  Her eyes closed in pleasure, and she nosed at his stiff dick where it stood straight in front of her.  He shivered, and she shifted to wrap her hand around it.  He cried out in pleasure, eyes sliding closed as he threw his head back against the pillow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her small hand worked over him, and he noticed it was a little rough, a little calloused, but he didn't have time to dwell on that, because now her mouth had joined in the work.  Tremors wracked his body at the mind-blowing sensation.  He reached for her hair again, and his fingers found gelled spikes instead.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He opened his eyes to find Noya crouched in front of him, lips spread wide around Tanaka's length as he bobbed his head up and down.  His best friend lifted all the way off, a singular string of saliva still connecting his smiling mouth to Tanaka's cock.</em>
</p><p><em>"You like that Ryuu?" he asked, his voice heady and rough</em>.</p><p>Tanaka's eyes flew open.  His heart raced in his chest as he fumbled for his phone on the bedside table.  With a shaking hand, he finally retrieved the device and saw that it was almost six in the morning.  He dropped the phone to his side and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, positively burning with embarrassment.</p><p>He'd just had a sex dream.</p><p>That fact in and of itself wasn't unusual.  He usually had at least one a week.  But he'd never had one about a man, let alone one about his best friend.</p><p><em>Everything is fine</em>, Tanaka told himself, picking his phone back up.  Yesterday had just thrown him off more than he'd thought.  It had been a few days since he last jerked off, anyway, so he probably only needed a reset.  He'd just gotten his wires crossed.</p><p>He opened a new incognito window in his phone's browser and navigated to his favorite website.  The suggestive thumbnails immediately got his attention as well as his dick's, and he scanned through them for something starring a woman with big boobs.  He found something that fit his needs—a boss lady fucking her male secretary—and was about to play the video when he heard a familiar snuffled snore and remembered that Noya had spent the night.</p><p>Cursing his luck and his already half-hard dick, he began to quietly sit up in bed.  His bed was positioned in the corner of his room, and the foot of his bed was blocked off by his dresser, so the only way out was over the side, where Noya was sprawled out.</p><p>Normally whenever he woke up before Noya and needed to leave the room, he just walked right over the boy, waking him up in the process.  Noya would curse and grab at his ankles in an attempt to trip Tanaka, which usually worked, and they ended up wrestling until one of them won out.  But the idea of wrestling Noya right now, post-sex dream with a growing erection, was out of the question.</p><p>Tanaka stared over the edge of the bed and figured he could probably tip toe over Noya's prone frame, but his friend was known to thrash suddenly in his sleep, and Tanaka couldn't risk Noya instinctively wrestling him when he felt Tanaka over him.  So that was out.  Which left him with one option: jumping.</p><p>He wasn't the most graceful person, so his landing probably wouldn't be as quiet as he'd want it to be, but even if Noya stirred Tanaka would be on the other side of him and free to escape to the bathroom.  Noya would probably just go back to sleep anyway if Tanaka wasn't there to wrestle with.  This would work.</p><p>Phone tight in his hand, Tanaka stood on the edge of the bed.  He lifted up one leg and stretched it out, trying to gauge just how hard he'd have to push off from the bed to clear Noya, but that was next to useless.  He'd just have to go for it.  Carefully, he tensed his left leg and prepped his right for the landing.  He tried to imagine leaping like a beautiful gazelle, then he pushed off.</p><p>But as he jumped, his socked foot slipped off the edge of the bed, and he tipped downward instead of forward.  His one thought before he crashed down right on top of Noya was that gravity had never really liked him.</p><p>"Urgh!  Gah, what—Ryuu, what the fuck?" Noya cried out.</p><p>Tanaka had landed with one knee right in Noya's gut and the other between Noya's legs, and the rest of his body on the hardwood floor of his bedroom, which he was grateful for.  What he wasn't grateful for was the fact that his erection was now pressed against Noya's hipbone.  And Noya was wriggling, trying to get Tanaka off of him, causing <em>friction</em> and—</p><p>"Move will you?  Get—god you're heavy, man!  When'd you get so beefy?" Noya asked, shoving at Tanaka's leg.</p><p>Scrambling quickly, Tanaka retrieved his phone from the floor and scooted as best as he could toward the door. "S-Sorry, dude, I didn't—I—"</p><p>But he was cut off by a telltale moan coming from his phone, accompanied by a music track and more sexual moans and phrases as the video's intro continued.  Noya's eyes widened gleefully as Tanaka's heart sunk.</p><p>"This isn't—" Tanaka started, locking the phone before it incriminated him further.  He hadn't locked it before jumping, and he must've accidentally touched the screen when picking it up and started the video.</p><p>"You're watching porn?!" Noya screeched, all anger and annoyance forgotten as he crawled over to Tanaka.  He planted himself with his back against the bedroom door, effectively cutting off Tanaka's means of escape. "Lemme see!"</p><p>"It's not—I just—don't—" Tanaka started, but Noya had wrested the phone from Tanaka's grasp and pressed his thumb to the home button, activating the touch ID.  Tanaka instantly regretted letting Noya put his thumbprint into Tanaka's phone years ago, but there was no way he could've predicted it would backfire like this.</p><p>"Oo, nice," Noya said, scanning over the video's title and tags. "Love a lady in charge."</p><p>Tanaka said nothing, just prayed that he'd combust on the spot.  Noya's shoulder was pressed warmly into his back, his fingers wrapped around Tanaka's phone, and it just made him remember his dream.  Noya was rocking his bent leg back and forth and knocked his knee against Tanaka's, and he jumped at the touch, causing Noya to peer curiously up at him.</p><p>"What's up?" Noya asked. "We've talked about this stuff before.  Why are you—" He cut himself off and grinned. "Oh wait, did you wake up with wood?  Were you gonna jerk off?  Beat the meat?  Have a hand party?  Are you still hard?"</p><p>Tanaka pressed his knees firmly together as his dick screamed for attention.</p><p>"You are!" Noya crowed with delight. "C'mon, man, no shame.  It happens to all of us.  It happened to me yesterday."</p><p><em>Doubt it happened to you after I was in your sex dream</em>, Tanaka thought ruefully, wishing he could go back in time and start this whole morning over.</p><p>"You can take care of it if you want," Noya said suddenly. "I don't mind."</p><p>A buzzing filled his ears, and he hated the thought of Noya just waiting for him to come back while he got off in the bathroom, but at the same time Noya was giving him an out and he had to take it.  He didn't think this erection would go away on its own.</p><p>"You're blocking the door," Tanaka pointed out lamely.</p><p>"Oh, no, I meant in here."</p><p>Tanaka didn't know it was possible for him to blush more than he already had been, but there he was, probably turning purple at this point. "W-What?!"</p><p>Noya blinked innocently up at him, and sure Tanaka had never known the guy to be shy or embarrassed or have any reservations about anything, but <em>this</em>—this was something else entirely.</p><p>"You…want to…watch?" Tanaka asked, his insides squirming at the idea.</p><p>"Well you got a show yesterday…" Noya murmured, an eyebrow quirked teasingly.</p><p>His tone was lightly suggestive—a joke, obviously a joke—but it sent heat straight through Tanaka's body.  He tried to say something in response, but all his words got choked up in his throat.  Noya started laughing and blessedly pulled away from Tanaka so they were no longer touching, allowing Tanaka to attempt to calm his heartbeat.</p><p>Noya sat so they were facing each other. "No, man, I meant we could watch it together if you wanted.  No pressure or anything, but I could go for a good whack.  I usually do it once a day, and it just seems silly to have you do it in the bathroom and me wait till I go home when we could both do it here."</p><p>Tanaka stared at him, thinking it over in his head.  Masturbating together seemed like a terrible idea.  It felt like a line bros didn't usually cross, but more importantly he worried that seeing Noya's dick again, hearing his friend's turned on noises, would just serve to further confuse him.</p><p><em>But you won't be looking at him, you'll be looking at the video</em>, he told himself sternly.  And maybe that was what he really needed.  He needed to watch some straight porn with Noya, the both of them getting off to the sight of a woman, to really erase what he'd seen yesterday.</p><p>"Okay," he said, and he hated the way his voice came out.  Strained, rough, unlike him.</p><p>Noya didn't notice how strange he sounded, though, just grinned like this was all normal and nodded. "Cool.  Bed?" he asked, nodding behind them.</p><p>"Y-Yeah."</p><p>They got to their feet, and Tanaka turned around and locked the door to his bedroom.  There was no way he was chancing Saeko walking in on them doing this.  He'd rather spontaneously combust than deal with the teasing and mortal embarrassment that would ensue.</p><p>"Grab your laptop," Noya said as he sat against the wall, positioning one of Tanaka's pillows behind him.  The sight reminded him of Noya yesterday, and Tanaka's throat went dry.</p><p>He moved slowly, almost robotically, toward his desk and picked his laptop up.  This was weird.  This was <em>really weird</em>, and he didn't know how to make it not weird.  He didn't know how to act or what to do.  Should they take their clothes off?  Noya already slept in just boxers, so should Tanaka take his pajama pants off?  Underwear too?  Would they just sit there naked except for their shirts?  Should he call it all off, laugh it away and go play video games?</p><p>But his erection was still straining against his boxer briefs, and he was out of other ideas.</p><p>Noya was watching him when he turned around, sitting cross-legged and bouncing his legs eagerly.  Tanaka sat next to him, conscious to leave space so that their arms weren't brushing, and opened up his laptop's browser and easily found the video again.  Noya settled himself against the pillows again and straightened his legs out, folding his hands loosely over his stomach.</p><p>Awkwardly, Tanaka set the laptop between their legs and pressed play, then mimicked Noya's posture.  The company's intro played again, then followed by some cheesy porn music as the camera focused in on a woman sitting in an office chair typing on her keyboard.  The office was sparsely decorated, obviously just a porn set, but the sets never really mattered anyway.</p><p>She was attractive for sure, a conventionally pretty face with her blonde hair curled and twisted up into a large clip at the back of her head.  She wore a blouse that was unbuttoned enough to reveal a lot of her ample cleavage as well as the top edge of her lacy red bra that you could see a hint of through the white fabric.  All in all, not a very work-appropriate outfit.  The camera spent several minutes slowly panning over every part of her body: her shapely legs, the tight skirt that clung to her thighs, her slender fingers as they pressed down on the keyboard.</p><p>Someone knocked at the door as the music faded out.</p><p>"Come in," she called, and a handsome young man poked his head into the office.</p><p>"Your three o'clock appointment just cancelled," he reported.</p><p>"Perfect," she purred. "Jonathan, don't let anybody bother me for the next hour."</p><p>"Of course, ma'am," he said, then closed the door.</p><p><em>Here we go</em>, Tanaka thought nervously as the camera panned back to the woman, who scooted back from her desk and spread her legs to reveal that she wasn't wearing underwear.  Her pubic hair was cut so that she was bare except for a thin strip right in the middle, like an arrow on a map pointing right to the treasure.  She scooted her already short pencil skirt up her thighs and reached down with her perfectly manicured fingers to tease a finger between her labia.</p><p>The room was silent except for the woman's breathy moans as she pleasured herself.  Tanaka was hardly breathing himself, his eyes fixed on the screen, not chancing a glance to the side to see how Noya was reacting.  He wanted to touch himself—<em>god</em> he wanted to so badly—but he wasn't sure if it was too soon or when it would be appropriate or when it wouldn't be weird.</p><p><em>This whole situation is weird</em>, Tanaka reminded himself, then the woman let out a sharp cry as she inserted a finger into herself, and he refocused his attention.</p><p>In the video, the door opened suddenly, and the male secretary was back.</p><p>"Jonathan!" she exclaimed, pulling her hand out and closing her legs quickly. "What are you doing?"</p><p>"I'm sorry, Ms. Carmichael, I thought you called for me," he said, blinking innocently.  The desk had obscured his view of her activities. "I'll go."</p><p>"Wait," she said, then smiled. "Have a seat."</p><p>He nodded and let himself into the office, closing the door behind him, then sat in one of the chair in front of her desk.  The woman got up, pulling her skirt down to where it was supposed to be, and came around the desk.  She leaned back against it.</p><p>"I've been meaning to talk to you about your performance lately," she said, tilting her head to the side.</p><p>The man swallowed. "Have I done something wrong?"</p><p>"No, the opposite," she replied. "You're doing spectacularly.  I've never had such an enthusiastic secretary."</p><p>"I'm eager to please," he said.</p><p>Ms. Carmichael smiled. "I'm glad to hear that.  Because, you see, I've been thinking of giving you some extra tasks.  Would that be okay?"</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>"Good," she said. "You can start…with this."</p><p>Tanaka thought that the true power of porn was that once you were into it, the ridiculous and unrealistic dialogue didn't bother you anymore.  He just watched as the woman pulled up her skirt, revealing her lack of underwear.  The secretary gasped dramatically and looked up at her.</p><p>"M-ma'am?" he questioned.</p><p>"Get to work," she commanded, sitting on her desk and spreading her legs.</p><p>The secretary got up out of his chair and went to his knees, then hesitated a moment and looked up at her.  She smiled encouragingly, and he stroked a hand up her left leg and teased the insides of her thighs with his thumbs.  She hummed appreciatively, and he leaned forward, pushing his nose between her lower lips, then set to work with his tongue.</p><p>Tanaka had begun palming the front of his sweatpants without noticing.  Suddenly self-conscious, he chanced a glance to the side and saw that Noya had one hand down his boxers and the other curled into Tanaka's bedsheets.  His stomach clenched tightly, and he returned his eyes to the screen.</p><p>As the video went on, Tanaka became more bold with his movements, the haze of hormones forcing away his worries of embarrassment and shame.  He gripped himself tightly through the fabric of his pajama pants.  It wasn't enough, but it felt good for now.  Beside him, Noya shifted his legs, letting them fall more open as he fondled himself underneath his boxers.  Then his friend let out a soft moan, and Tanaka swallowed hard.</p><p>On screen, the woman grabbed her secretary's tie and pulled him upright, tugging him into a sloppy kiss.  As they kissed, he fumbled with his belt until he got it undone and shoved his pants and underwear down, stroking his erection with one hand, teasing her wet, pink folds with the head of it.</p><p>Noya moved again, catching Tanaka's attention, and he pushed the waistband of his boxers down to reveal his hardened cock, his other hand still wrapped around it and pumping steadily.  Tanaka forced himself to look away, to pay attention to the video, but he still heard when Noya spat into his own hand and began jerking himself with more vigor.</p><p>"Fuck, you're so tight," the secretary grunted.  He was inside of her now, thrusting softly as she moaned.  He tore the buttons on her blouse open and pulled one of the cups of her bra down before clamping his mouth over her breast.  She moaned loudly, unabashedly, one hand still gripping his tie.</p><p>Unable to stand it now, Tanaka shimmied his way out of his pants.  If he were in a proper headspace, he'd probably be a little embarrassed, but his legs were getting sweaty and he just needed to get them <em>off</em>.  Without the thick fabric in place, it was easier to reach into his boxer briefs and pull his dick out.  He smeared his precum up and down his length, holding back a groan from the sensation.</p><p>The secretary's pants had fallen away from his thighs now, and he pulled away from her breasts so he could unbutton his shirt and tug his tie off.  He thrusted into her with more fervor now, and she writhed on the desk, letting out all kinds of high-pitched whines and cries.  Her volume increased, and she panted eagerly, telling him things like <em>yes, right there, like that, fuck yeah, don't stop</em>, until her back arched and her eyes rolled in her head from the force of her orgasm.</p><p>A few minutes later, she sat up and pushed him away from her.  She slid off the desk, ripping her shirt and bra completely off now but leaving the skirt bunched around her waist.  The man took a couple steps back and she went down to her knees, taking his length into her mouth.</p><p>Tanaka groaned, squeezing himself at the base and increasing the tightness of his grip.  Blood was rushing very quickly through his body now, and he was somewhat lightheaded.  He could feel his pulse in his neck, in his dick, in his wrist.  His thoughts were hazy, full of nothing but desire and arousal.</p><p>In the video, the man pulled the clip out of his boss' hair, letting the voluptuous curls down.  They weren't free for long, though, as he grabbed them up in his hands and used them to guide her head.  She moaned and gagged and choked on his dick as he fucked into her mouth, and Tanaka groaned, letting his eyes close for a moment.</p><p>Noya let out some kind of strange, strained noise, and Tanaka's eyes flew open again.  He looked to the side and saw Noya tugging at one of his nipples with his left hand, just like he'd been doing when Tanaka walked in on him yesterday.  His friend's mouth was twisted up and pursed tight, and Tanaka realized he was probably trying to stifle himself.  He remembered how loud Noya was that morning, the cursing and babbling and—</p><p>"Fuck me, fuck me, oh yes, like that," the woman cried out.</p><p>He looked back and saw that she was bent over the desk now, her breasts squished out beneath her.  The secretary's hips snapped quickly into her, a brutal rhythm that had her gasping, and his fingers dug into the flesh at her hips, holding on to her like his life depended on it.</p><p>Tanaka's breath was coming faster now, and he knew he was getting close.  The insides of his thighs tingled, and his abs kept clenching randomly.  He kept his grip steady but increased the pace.  Dimly, he wondered if Noya was close and hoped he was.  Tanaka didn't want it to be weird if he came way before Noya did, but he refused to let himself dwell on anything other than his hand and his cock and this video.</p><p>The secretary lifted one of the woman's legs up so her knee was resting on the desk, then reached forward with his other hand and grabbed a handful of her messy hair.  He wrenched her head back as she cried out, and suddenly Noya was cursing under his breath and curling his toes.</p><p>"Yes, baby, yes, so good," she gasped out, her voice strained from the position of her neck and their activities.</p><p>The man released her hair and her head fell forward again, her cheek pressed to the desk beneath her.  He slapped her ass and dug his fingers in, and then Noya cried out sharply, the loudest sound he'd emitted thus far.  Tanaka turned his head and saw Noya was in the throes of his orgasm, cum shooting from the tip of his dick and landing on his chest.  His legs shook, thighs trembling as he stroked himself through it, fingers loose around his length.</p><p>The heat and tension inside of Tanaka finally snapped, and his own orgasm came over him hard.  His head knocked into the wall behind him almost painfully, but that sensation paled in comparison to the pleasure that wracked through his body.  His fist continued pumping, almost by itself, and he drew his legs in and then immediately stretched them out again.  Moments later, the rush began to fade from him, and he could feel the sticky mess he'd made on his fist and waist and shirt.</p><p>He knew Noya was sitting next to him, that a porn video was still playing on his laptop, and he knew this was still fucking weird even if hormones and endorphins had tricked him into ignoring that for the past twenty minutes.  If he kept his eyes closed, maybe this would turn out to be a strange dream, and he'd wake up fine and not have to face whatever it was that came next.</p><p>But this wasn't a dream, and he'd have to face it eventually.</p><p>Reluctantly, Tanaka opened his eyes and turned his head to the side to find Noya already looking at him.  His eyes were still heavily lidded, and Tanaka could see his pulse thrumming in his neck.  A sudden wave of nausea overcame him, and he had to take a deep breath in through his nose to stave it off.</p><p>"Dude," Noya said roughly, lifting his arm and offering Tanaka his fist. "Nice."</p><p>Tanaka laughed with some effort and brought his left fist over—the one not currently covered in his own jizz—to bump their knuckles.  The anxiety in his chest began to ease slightly.</p><p>"You got tissues in here?" Noya asked.</p><p>"Yeah, on the desk," Tanaka replied, first reaching forward to stop the video.  It was almost over, anyway.  The secretary had pulled out and was preparing to cum on the woman's back.  He felt no need to see the climax or hear whatever corny lines about earning a promotion that were sure to follow.  So he closed the laptop and tucked his softening dick back into his underwear, then got up from the bed.</p><p>He went around to his desk, grabbing the tissue box off of it, and pulled a couple for himself and then held the box out to Noya, who took it gratefully.  Tanaka blushed when he realized Noya's dick was still out, boxers bunched under his balls.  He looked away quickly, focusing on cleaning himself up, and tossed the soiled tissues in the trash can.  Then he exchanged his now-sweaty shirt for a fresh one and held the trash can out for Noya.</p><p>"Thanks," Noya said, blessedly decent once again with his boxers back in place</p><p>"Sure," Tanaka replied easily.</p><p>"<em>Smash</em>?" Noya asked.</p><p>"Yeah, but then I really do need to do homework."</p><p>"Let's do it at my place.  You can help me with history," Noya said, sitting forward and stretching his arms over his head. "Hand me my clothes?"</p><p>Tanaka bent over and picked the shirt and pants up off the floor near the futon where Noya had shed his clothing last night.  Noya reached for them gratefully, and Tanaka's eyes traced his friend's arms, noting the ever-present bruises, and got one last glimpse of his chest before it was covered.  He waited to feel weird, for a flashback of yesterday morning to hit him, but nothing happened.  He just felt warm and kind of fuzzy, like he always did when he was with Noya.</p><p><em>This was a great idea</em>, he thought to himself, a completely different tune than he was singing earlier.  But he should've known it would work out.  Noya always had the best ideas, and he'd gotten the chance to get it—whatever <em>it</em> was—out of his system.</p><p>He pulled on his pants and grinned, thinking it was going to be a great day.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>End of chapter one!  Expect some pretty long chapters haha</p><p>~Ki<br/><a href="https://linktree.com/kicon">My socials</a><br/> </p><p>Porn video in this chapter:<br/>- M/F scene about a boss lady having sex with her male secretary in her office.  The scene features female masturbation, cunnilingus, PIV penetrative sex, and throatfucking.  There's some hair pulling, ass slapping, and descriptions of hard or rough actions.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Takes Two to Tango</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heads up: One of the three scenes with substance use is in the beginning of this chapter, and remember descriptions of the porn videos they watch are in the end notes if you need that.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tanaka and Noya spent the rest of Sunday alternately playing video games and actually doing some homework.  After narrowly losing to Shiratorizawa at the Interhigh finals back in June, Tanaka, Noya, and Ennoshita decided to stay on with the team for the Spring tournament and Takeda made them swear that they wouldn't let their studies slip. </p><p>If he was being honest, Tanaka didn't really care about college.  He didn't have any grand ambitions, and he knew he was the kind of person who was just average at everything.  There wasn't some higher calling for him to answer and work toward.  But, to everyone's surprise, Noya wanted to pursue higher education and college volleyball, and Tanaka wanted to follow Noya anywhere.  That was the one part of his future Tanaka was sure about: that he needed Noya to be in it.</p><p>So if Noya was gonna go to university, he needed to study, and Tanaka might as well study with him.  Besides, Noya was shit at studying alone, and Tanaka knew he wouldn't be able to survive the disappointed look on Take-chan's face if he started failing, so as usual they were in this together.</p><p>Speaking of Noya, things between them were normal again following their mutual masturbation session.  Well, things between them hadn't <em>not</em> been normal, exactly.  Noya had been acting the same, but Tanaka's behavior at the start of the weekend was far from normal.  But that was over now.  He no longer blushed or felt jumpy around his best friend.  Everything was back to the usual, except…</p><p>Except.  He couldn't masturbate without thinking of Noya.</p><p>He'd been trying for a week now: in the shower, in his bed, in the bathroom during lunch at school, at morning, at night, while watching a video, while looking at a dirty mag, while imagining movie stars or famous singers or Kiyoko, but nothing worked.  No matter what, Noya creeped into his thoughts, usually just before the climax, and it startled Tanaka out of the mood, leaving him frustrated and aching.</p><p>Part of him wondered if he just needed to accept it in order to actually work through it.  If he just let Noya's laughter and smiles and small hands infiltrate his dirty thoughts <em>once</em>, then he'd be over it.  But he felt gross and ashamed at just the idea of doing that, and so he spent all week stewing on it feeling worse each day.</p><p>He was stewing on it right now, in fact, causing him to not listen to whatever it was Noya was currently saying.</p><p>"…and when he got there it was like <em>fwsssh boom graaagh</em>, right?" Noya mumbled, waving his hands in the air.</p><p>"Mm," Tanaka grunted, reaching up and catching Noya's wrist so he could pull the joint from his friend's hand.</p><p>The joint had once been part of a pair, a gift from his sister when they'd beat Shiratorizawa in October last year.  They'd smoked the first one immediately but decided to save the second one for a special occasion, like winning Nationals.  When that hadn't happened, they'd forgotten about it until Tanaka found it earlier that evening.  They figured passing their math test this morning was a special enough occasion now, and besides they didn't want the joint to get any weaker.</p><p>Noya's head swiveled around to the left to look at him, hazel eyes narrowed. "Were you even listening?"</p><p>"No," Tanaka said automatically, because he was high and because he didn't like lying to Noya and because he hadn't gotten off in a week and he hadn't gone that long without an orgasm since he was fourteen years old.</p><p>Noya wasn't upset by his answer.  Instead he grinned widely, leaning his head back to rest against Tanaka's bed.  His eyes slid closed, and Tanaka watched his throat bob as he swallowed, then looked away and knocked the ash off the joint into the tray at their feet.  Then he took a drag, filling his mouth with the musky smoke and mixing it with a gulp of fresh air.  He hissed slightly as he let it out, coughing only slightly from the burn.  He tapped off the ash again.</p><p>"I was saying the team's doing well," Noya continued, his eyes still closed. "Sanji's really coming into his own as a libero."</p><p>"He's not as good as you," Tanaka said, feeling suddenly defensive over him. "Nobody's as good as you."</p><p>"Fuckin' duh," Noya said.  He cracked an eye open and smiled at Tanaka, and suddenly Tanaka's heart swelled so full it hurt.</p><p>"Noya," he mumbled, feeling tears prick at his eyes.  He scooted closer, inching his toes under Noya's butt and pressing his knees and shins into his friend's side.  Then he grabbed Noya's left arm and hugged it to his chest while pressing his face into Noya's shoulder. "I'm gonna miss this."</p><p>Noya chuckled, reaching up with his free hand to rub the short hairs covering Tanaka's scalp. "You big baby," Noya said affectionately. "Don't start missing it yet.  Besides, this—us?  Isn't going anywhere."</p><p>Tanaka whined incoherently.  He almost always got emotional when he was intoxicated, but he was pretty good at keeping it together if others were around.  But he could always let his guard down around Noya, so the whining and the clinginess were a frequent occurrence when it was just the two of them.</p><p>Noya reached around and plucked the joint from Tanaka's fingers.  Tanaka felt Noya's ribs expand and hitch as he took the hit and tried not to cough but eventually did.  He didn't know why Noya even bothered to resist when he coughed every time.  Normally he made fun of Noya for it—the guy was so cool there was only so much Tanaka could make fun of him for—but he didn't feel like it right now.  He just wanted to hold on to him and never let go.</p><p>"I'm glad we're still good," Noya said after a moment.</p><p>Tanaka lifted his head and looked at him. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"After Sunday."</p><p><em>Sunday</em>.  Waking up with a Noya-sex-dream-induced hardon followed by masturbating together.  Instinctively, Tanaka wanted to release Noya's arm and pull away, but he felt like that would be the wrong move after Noya just said he was glad they were good.  And besides, Noya was warm, and Tanaka was comfortable, and he'd just said he never wanted to let go.</p><p>"Why wouldn't we be?" Tanaka asked instead.</p><p>"Well…" Noya shrugged. "It was weird, right?"</p><p>"Do you regret it?" Tanaka asked, and his stomach twisted in panic.</p><p>"No," Noya replied. "I actually really liked it.  I came so hard, dude.  It was awesome."</p><p>The memory of watching Noya orgasm came back to him, and he felt his whole body flush.  He was suddenly very conscious of Noya's left hand resting on his hip, small and warm and pressed against him because of the way Tanaka was clutching his arm.</p><p>"Nothing's compared since," Noya continued.</p><p>"Same here," Tanaka said, relieved that Noya had been struggling too.  Well, almost.  It sounded like Noya was still getting off at least, which was more than Tanaka could say.</p><p>Noya hummed softly in response, then held the joint out to him.  It was getting small now, almost to the crutch.  He released Noya's arm and sat back, bringing it to his lips.  Something churned inside him, and he wasn't entirely sure it was just his high.</p><p>"Finish it," Tanaka said, offering the end of the joint to Noya after tapping the ash off.</p><p>Noya's fingers deftly took the butt, small enough to get a better grip on it for the last hit than Tanaka could've.  He sucked in one last breath, then dropped the roach into the ashtray.  Noya coughed, then let his head loll back to the bed again, eyes closed with a stupid smile on his face.</p><p>Tanaka remembered the last time Noya's head was thrown back like that.  It wasn't a hard memory to summon; it kept presenting itself to him every time Tanaka tried to jerk off.  He shifted where he sat, feeling uncomfortably warm suddenly.  The <em>something</em> kept churning in his stomach, along with a week's worth of blue balls.</p><p>"Do you…wanna do it again?" Tanaka asked, the words leaving his mouth before his brain could catch up with him and tell him to shut the fuck up.</p><p>Noya turned his head and opened his eyes halfway, his gaze surprisingly clear for how doped up they both were. "Right now?"</p><p>Tanaka was thrown off by Noya's response, and by how eager he sounded. "If…if you want."</p><p>"Fuck yeah, man," Noya said. "Where's your laptop?"</p><p>"Desk," Tanaka said, then got unsteadily to his feet with the ashtray in his hand.  He wondered if this was a good idea.  It probably wasn't, but his upper brain was too clouded by marijuana and his lower brain was begging to get off.</p><p>When he turned around, he almost choked at the sight of Noya stark naked and waiting patiently on Tanaka's bed.  His dick twitched in his pants, and Tanaka bit his tongue sharply and looked down at the laptop in his hands.</p><p>"Sorry," Noya said when Tanaka drew closer. "I hate masturbating with clothes on.  Feels like I'm trapped."</p><p>"'s fine," Tanaka mumbled, then set the laptop down.</p><p>Before he could let himself think too much about it, he stripped himself of his jeans and sweatshirt, then sat beside Noya in just his shirt and underwear.  He wasn't usually one to turn down an opportunity to take his shirt off, but he felt that was too much for him in this context and mostly wanted his legs to be free.  Once settled, he fixed his eyes on his laptop, determined to not look at Noya, but he could still see Noya's reflection on the screen, and—</p><p>
  <em>404, page not found</em>
</p><p>"Noya," Tanaka said mournfully. "PornFun is <em>gone</em>."</p><p>Noya responded by giggling, which Tanaka didn't think was very appropriate in this tragic situation. "It's not gone, Ryuu.  You typed it in wrong."</p><p>"Huh," Tanaka said, squinting at the address bar.  Sure enough, he'd typed <em>ponrfn.com</em>.</p><p>Noya giggled more as Tanaka corrected his mistakes, and the familiar website came up before him.  His eyes scanned over the thumbnails, his dick twitching in interest in his underwear, and then the bed shifted and he became aware of Noya leaning closer to the screen, thus bringing him closer to Tanaka.</p><p>"Um," Tanaka said, sitting up suddenly.  He angled the laptop toward his friend. "You pick."</p><p>"You sure?" Noya asked.</p><p>"I picked last time," Tanaka replied. "Only fair."</p><p>Noya shrugged, then reached out and navigated to the categories page.  Tanaka swallowed heavily when he clicked on "Rough Sex."  They'd discussed their porn preferences plenty of times before, so Tanaka knew that Noya went for harder stuff than he did, but seeing the images flash before him caused something in his stomach to drop.</p><p>"How about this?" Noya asked, showing him the video.  It was a lesbian video, a student getting dominated by the principal in exchange for better grades.  The tags said things like "first time lesbian," "choking," "spanking," and "MILF."  All in all, it was pretty tame by what he knew to be Noya's standards.</p><p>Tanaka swallowed again. "Yeah, sure." His voice sounded hoarse.</p><p>"Let me know if it's not good for you," Noya said. "I can pick something else."</p><p>"Nah, bro, it's gonna be great," Tanaka replied.</p><p>Noya smiled, then settled himself against the pillow he'd wedged behind his back once more.  He stretched his legs out and rested his hands on his bare upper thighs, and Tanaka blushed, having momentarily forgotten that Noya was completely naked.</p><p>He started the video for them, zoning out slightly as he wondered if this was a good idea after all.  He'd suggested it, and he had a feeling he would finally get off, but also they were both very high.  Would they regret it later, when the drugs and the orgasms left their systems?</p><p>But movement to his side caught his attention, and he saw Noya tracing fingers lightly up and down his still-soft dick, enticing it as the video played through the intro, and he decided that any regrets that would come were for future Tanaka and Noya to deal with.</p><p>On screen, a girl was in the middle of explaining why she deserved to pass calculus despite failing the final exam.  She was dressed in a typical private school uniform: a button-up with a tie, a pleated skirt, and knee-high socks with loafers.  The skirt was far too short to be regulation—Tanaka was sure that if she stood up from her chair that he'd see the bottom of her ass hanging out.  Not that he would complain, of course.</p><p>"Please," she begged. "If I fail, I'll lose my college scholarship."</p><p>"Maybe you should've thought about that beforehand," the principal said, arching a stern eyebrow at the girl.  The principal had black hair cut in a savage bob.  Her outfit was more professional than the boss's in the first video they'd watched, but Tanaka could see the way the buttons of her blouse strained around her chest.</p><p>The familiar thrum of excitement began to course through Tanaka's veins as he took in the video.  He tended to lean toward sensual videos or ones with some semblance of a plot, letting his imagination run with how the characters must be feeling as the scene played on.  Dimly, he wondered if Noya chose a video like this on purpose because he knew Tanaka was more likely to enjoy it.</p><p>"You don't understand," the girl sobbed dramatically, though she shed no tears. "I need this.  Please.  I'll do anything."</p><p>"Anything?" the principal asked, the corny line falling easily from her lips. "Well, I may have an extra credit project for you."</p><p>"I'll do it!" the girl declared. "I promise!"</p><p>"But first, I think I need to punish you for slacking off in the first place," the principal said, pushing her chair away from her desk and rising to her feet. "Stand up."</p><p>The girl rose out of her chair, looking nervous as the principal made her way around the desk.  Once by her side, the principal raised her left hand to stroke the girl's cheek, then reached past her and roughly grabbed the girl's ponytail.  The student cried out softly, then more loudly as the principal used her grip to shove the girl forward so she was bent over the desk.</p><p>Using her other hand, the principal flipped the girl's skirt up, revealing a pair of plain white panties.  Then she smacked the girl's ass.  The <em>crack</em> of skin on skin was loud, and it sent a jolt of heat and apprehension through Tanaka's body, his eyes transfixed as the principal then wrenched the girl's underwear down to her knees and spanked her again.  He ignored the soft gasp of pleasure at his side, focusing on the video.</p><p>The girl cried out again and again as the principal abused her ass, alternating between the two round cheeks.  Both were rosy red and likely sensitive, judging by how the girl kept trying uselessly to wriggle away as the principal smoothed her hand over the agitated flesh.</p><p>"Is that enough?" the principal asked, using her grip on the ponytail to pull the girl's head back.</p><p>"Y-Yes," the girl gasped, tears in her eyes.</p><p>"Have you learned your lesson?"</p><p>"Ye—aahhhh!" she cried out as the principal spanked her one last time.</p><p>"Good," the principal purred, releasing the girl's hair.  Her head fell, hitting the desk with a dull <em>thump</em>. "Now it's time to learn something new."</p><p>The principal backed up and began to slowly unzip her pencil skirt.  Curious, the girl straightened up and turned around, watching cautiously as the principal slid out of her skirt and revealed a black thong and thigh high lacy stockings.  She took a seat in the chair the girl had previously occupied and spread her legs apart.</p><p>"Come here," the principal said, "and get on your knees."</p><p>Slowly, the girl stepped out of her panties, which were still around her knees, and then got down on the floor.  Her eyes were wide and fixed on the principal's womanhood.</p><p>"Well?  Get to work," the principal said.</p><p>Hesitantly, the girl scooted forward, still on her knees, bringing her hands to rest lightly on the principal's knees. "I-I've never—"</p><p>"Don't worry," the older woman cooed. "I'll teach you."</p><p>Tanaka palmed himself through his boxers, enjoying the dry friction for now as he hardened up.  Attentively, he watched  as the principal instructed the girl on how to best pleasure her, first with gentle, curious fingers, and then with an eager mouth.  Noya was stroking himself with loose fingers, his lower lip caught between his teeth.  Tanaka quickly refocused his attention.</p><p>After several minutes of instruction and pleasure, the principal pulled the girl upright, kissing her fiercely.  She forced the girl's mouth open wide, pushing her tongue in relentlessly as she grabbed once more at the girl's ponytail.  Noya moaned softly.  Then the principal ripped off the girl's blouse but left the tie in place.  Deft fingers made quick work of the girl's bra, exposing her small, perky tits.  The principal tweaked the already hardened nubs then pushed her back and laid her across the desk.</p><p>The girl's chest heaved with nervous breaths as the principal made her way back to her side of the desk.  The older woman stripped out of her thong and unbuttoned her own blouse, discarding both so she was dressed only in a black lace bra, stockings, and heels.  Then she climbed on to the desk and planted herself right over the girl's face.</p><p>Breathing heavily, the woman rocked her hips back and forth, riding the girl's mouth as she cried out in pleasure.  Minutes later, the principal leaned forward, hips still working back and forth as she flipped the girl's skirt up once more.  Her hand stroked over the student's clean shaven vulva, and the girl moaned in surprise.  With one hand, the principal spread the pink lips wide, then began lightly patting it with the other.  The girl's cried were sharp but muffled, and she began writhing under the principal.  The principal's slaps became more forceful, and Tanaka winced slightly despite his arousal.</p><p>Beside him, Noya's breaths were coming more quickly, the fingers of one hand concentrated on the head of his cock while the other reached down to fondle his balls.  Tanaka's own grip tightened at the sight, and he wriggled out of his boxers to rub himself better.</p><p>The sound of spitting drew his attention again, and he looked back to see the principal smearing her own saliva over the girl's labia, then she went straight to fingerfucking her with her middle and ring fingers with her thumb positioned to stimulate the girl's clit at the same time.  The pace was quick and brutal, and Tanaka's heart was stuttering in his chest, the hormones and marijuana creating a dizzying cloud in his brain.</p><p>"Aaaahhh!" the girl shrieked.  The principal had lifted off of her face in order to properly fuck her, and the girl's cries and moans were no longer muffled.  Her body convulsed as the principal continued her ministrations until finally the girl was shuddering and speechless, her orgasm coming over her hard.</p><p>They changed positions then.  Now the principal was the one laying on the desk, the student above her as their vulvas rubbed together.  The student gripped the principal's leg, which was thrown over her shoulder as she thrusted her pelvis against the woman's.  The principal reached up and grabbed the girl's ponytail again, pulling her forward into another forceful kiss.  The scissoring was raw and needy, both women practically clawing at each other as they writhed.  There was something almost primal about it, and Tanaka found his mouth was dry from hanging open, so he closed it.</p><p>After several long moments, the girl got down from the desk and returned to her knees, and the principal adjusted so her hips were practically hanging off the desk, allowing the girl to easily eat her out.  The principal's hands had abandoned the girl's ponytail in favor of her tie, securing her face firmly to the woman's pussy.</p><p>Noya was being very vocal now, Tanaka observed.  He remembered his theory that Noya was stifling himself last time, only really crying out when his orgasm finally came over him.  Now he was seeing that theory confirmed.  Noya moaned and cursed unabashedly as he stroked himself hard and twisted his wrist over the head of his dick.</p><p>Never before had Tanaka been more grateful that his house was empty but for the two of them: his dad was away on more flights and Saeko was visiting a friend in Tokyo for the weekend, and both of them left earlier today.  Noya knew they had the house to themselves, but Tanaka wondered if Noya remembered in his drugged-up state and that was why he allowed himself the fullest volume of his pleasure, or if he would've been too high to control himself regardless.</p><p>Sharp feminine cries signaled to him that the principal was orgasming, but he couldn't find it in himself to look away from Noya until the boy let out his loudest moan yet.  Tanaka glanced at the screen and saw that the student was once more bent over the desk, and the principal was donning a strap-on she'd pulled from a drawer.  She gripped the base of the purple dildo in one hand, the other secured to the girl's hips.  The girl cried out nervously as the principal teased her labia with the head, then yelped when the woman plowed straight into her.</p><p>The principal reached forward with one hand and pulled the girl's tie over her shoulder, then wrapped it around her fist.  She used the leverage to force the girl's head back she mercilessly fucked her.  She used her free hand to spank the girl once more, and the pink flesh turned red again in an instant.</p><p>Noya was cycling his legs now, bending and straightening them repeatedly, mussing Tanaka's sheets up even worse than they were already.  Tanaka stroked himself quickly and steadily, and he could feel his orgasm beginning to pool in his belly, but he wasn't even focused on what was happening inside him or on the video.  He was transfixed by Noya, who was moaning himself hoarse and alternating his free hand between pinching his nipples and scratching his chest.</p><p>Tanaka could hear the girl in the video was screaming now, and his eyes wandered away from Noya to see the girl had her mouth stretched around the tie which the principal held against her now like a gag.  Drool spilled from her bottom lip, and her eyes rolled backwards in her head.  Her shoulders slumped, her second orgasm leaving her weak, and the principal pulled out.</p><p>The principal removed the strap-on with impressive speed considering she was still wearing five-inch heels and came around to the front of the desk.  The girl flipped onto her back, her head hanging off the desk as the woman propped one knee up, exposing her labia to the girl's eager mouth and tongue.  As the girl pleasured her, the principal roughly fondled the girl's small breasts, switching between plucking and twisting the nipples and slapping them.</p><p>Despite the arousing sight, Tanaka was no longer paying attention to it.  Noya was now panting heavily and chanting curse words under his breath, his shoulders tight with the tension of his approaching orgasm.  His chest was marked with red lines from his scratches earlier, and Tanaka's eyes traced them all over like he was reading a map.  He followed them down to Noya's lap, where his small hand was wrapped tightly around his cock.</p><p>Noya's erect dick really was longer than Tanaka had expected it would be based on his friend's height, and he watched mesmerized as Noya dragged his hand up and down the length.  The skin was taut and red, and pearls of precum adorned the head.  Noya's thumb swiped across his slit, dragging the wetness down with his grip, and Tanaka realized his mouth was open and dry again and closed it promptly.</p><p>Finally Noya spilled over the edge, arching his back and crashing his head into the wall as he chanted, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"  Streams of white cum shot out, and Tanaka watched as they landed on Noya's chest and stomach, painting over the scratch marks.  Noya pumped himself furiously, moaning brokenly as he rode the orgasm out until he finally collapsed, slumping to his side so their shoulders were pressed together.</p><p>Tanaka stiffened at the contact, conscious of the heat and pressure of Noya's skin against him.  He knew this was wrong, knew he shouldn't have watched and they shouldn't be touching even innocently like this and he shouldn't still be looking at Noya, but he couldn't stop himself.  White hot pleasure was coursing through him, and his arm was starting to cramp up from the speed at which he was stroking himself, the scene of Noya's orgasm playing through his mind, and he knew he wasn't far behind.</p><p>Noya sighed, then his head shifted, tilting up to look at Tanaka.  His hair brushed against Tanaka's cheek as he moved, and Tanaka saw that his friend's cheeks were flushed bright red.  Noya lifted his eyes, looking up at Tanaka from under his eyelashes.  His gaze was heavy and hooded, either from exhaustion or the weed or from coming down from his orgasm, but Tanaka felt like he could count the different shades of brown in his eyes.  Then Noya's wrecked voice croaked out a simple, "Ryuu," and Tanaka couldn't see anything at all.</p><p>His orgasm hit him hard, like he'd been running at a full sprint right into a brick wall.  It seized his body, all his muscles clenching at once, his pleasure pulsing through him so hard it almost hurt.  He was gasping, groaning, growling as it wracked through him, and he could feel tears burning in his squeezed-shut eyes.</p><p>Tanaka didn't know how long it took for his mind to reenter his body after his climax.  Noya could've told him any amount of time—thirty seconds, thirty minutes, thirty hours—and Tanaka would've believed him.  When he finally felt conscious again, he was aware of a weight on his shoulder and looked down to see Noya dozing against him.  For a moment it was like they were napping on the team bus like usual, but their undressed state, the sticky drying cum, and the porn site on Tanaka's laptop made this nothing like usual.</p><p>He shoved Noya off of him with less gentleness than he would've normally and reached forward to close his laptop.  The video player now showed related videos based on their selection, and he wondered how long ago it had ended.  He hadn't even noticed, having been too busy paying attention to Noya and then his own orgasm.</p><p>Noya grunted when Tanaka pushed him away but managed to stay in an upright position, sitting against the wall with his eyes still closed.  Tanaka looked away from him, shame and embarrassment beginning to roil in his stomach.  Or maybe that was munchies.  No, it was shame.  Definitely shame.</p><p>He moved as quickly as he could, grabbing his discarded boxers from Noya's futon and peeling his mess of a shirt off his body before tossing both in his hamper and grabbing clean clothes from his wardrobe.  Then he darted out of the bedroom to grab some towels, wondering how he was going to get a sleepy, naked Noya out of his bed.</p><p>When he came back to the bedroom, though, the situation had resolved itself.  Noya was on his back on the futon, dragging a hand up and down his belly through the sticky mess and giggling to himself.</p><p>Tanaka sighed, then went over to his friend and grabbed his wrist.</p><p>"That's gross," Tanaka told him sternly, using one of the towels to wipe the cum off Noya's fingers.</p><p>"Feels funny," Noya replied, his voice groggy from exertion and the weed.</p><p>Tanaka dropped the offending hand back down to Noya's side, then used the other towel to wipe up his friend's chest.  Noya's breathing became deeper suddenly, and Tanaka knew he'd fallen asleep.  The guy could fall asleep at the most random of times and the most random of places, and usually Tanaka would take a picture and make fun of him later, but there was no way he was doing that right now.</p><p>He found Noya's shirt and shuffled across the floor to Noya's head, then gently lifted his friend's head and shoulders and scooted his knees underneath.  Noya grunted softly but otherwise didn't stir, even as Tanaka placed the shirt around his head, wrestled his skinny arms into the sleeves, and shimmied the rest of it down his torso.  His fingers accidentally skimmed the soft skin at Noya's waist as he pulled back, and his heart hammered in his chest.</p><p>Noya's face was relaxed in his sleep, the strands of bleached hair falling over his eyes.  Tanaka softly brushed them away, then let his fingers rest on Noya's cheekbone.  He could've looked at Noya's face forever—a combination of exhaustion- and drug-induced hyperfocus and his love of Noya's relaxed sleeping expressions—if it weren't for Noya's uncovered junk practically staring at him.</p><p>It was just there, out in the open and looking especially exposed now that Noya's upper half was clothed.  He exchanged his knees for Noya's pillow as he contemplated what attempting to put Noya's boxers on for him would look like.  But the idea of lifting his friend's hips and tugging the underwear over his thighs and ass and whatever else he might accidentally touch was too much, so he settled for pulling the blanket over Noya and calling it done.</p><p>Then he faced his own bed, which to his eye was free of any random jizz, and was just unfortunately very messy.  It also felt kind of damp where his ass had been, so he just laid on the top sheet as a barrier and told himself he'd do laundry tomorrow as he adjusted the pillows and pulled a blanket up to his chin.</p><p>/ / /</p><p>Tanaka woke up to the sound of pots and pans banging in the kitchen, which he guessed meant Saeko was home and passive aggressively trying to wake him up so he could make breakfast before she had to do it herself.  The sunlight coming in through his window was pretty strong, so he must've slept later than usual.  He hadn't expected her back from the city this early, and he dimly wondered when she'd arrived.</p><p>His stomach grumbled hard, and he remembered that the last thing he and Noya ate last night before smoking was a big bowl of chips, which wasn't the most filling of meals.</p><p><em>Noya</em>.</p><p>Tanaka's gut twisted again, but this time not from hunger as he remembered the events of last night.  The porn video, the masturbating, Noya's stark naked body and moans and the way he said Tanaka's name after he came, and Tanaka's own mind-blowing orgasm.</p><p>He rolled to his side and found Noya predictably still asleep, although he'd abandoned the blanket at some point in the night and was now flipped over with his face in the pillow and his round bare ass in the air and his soft dick hanging between his thighs.</p><p>"Oi!" Tanaka exclaimed, feeling flustered and annoyed at the same time.  He sat up and grabbed a pillow, then wielded it overhead and aimed right at the pert cheeks.</p><p>Noya grunted in his sleep when the pillow made contact and shot a hand out, viciously pinning the pillow to the ground.  He opened his eyes and glared up at Tanaka, who was half hanging off the bed.</p><p>"What was that for?" Noya grumbled.</p><p>"Put some pants on, you pervert."</p><p>Noya lifted himself onto his elbows and looked down. "Oh shit.  Did I fall asleep without getting dressed?"</p><p>"You fell asleep before you even—" Tanaka stopped, and a blush formed on his cheeks.</p><p>"Oh, god, I remember."  Noya found his boxers and wriggled into them. "Thanks for cleaning me up, man.  I wouldn't have done the same."</p><p>"Jerk," Tanaka said, but he said it with a grin.</p><p>"Don't let me do that next time," Noya continued, finding his pants next.</p><p>"Next time?"</p><p>Noya paused, his hand outstretched. "Yeah?  I mean, we're gonna do that again, right?"</p><p>Tanaka stared at him, and Noya looked away, slowly curling his fingers over his pants leg and drawing them closer to him.</p><p>"I thought—well, it makes sense, right?  We both masturbate on our own, but it's, like, so much better together, isn't it?  And why waste time doing it separately when we can do it together and not miss out on maximum bro time, you know?"</p><p>Tanaka wasn't sure that mutual masturbation and porn-watching counted as typical <em>bro time</em>, but the gears turned slowly in his head as he processed what Noya had suggested.  Noya was still talking, but Tanaka wasn't listening anymore.  He heard only static noise buzzing in his ears, watching as Noya's mouth moved, continuing with his explanation and reasoning.</p><p>Noya wasn't looking at him as he talked, focusing solely on pulling his pants on.  His words were coming faster and faster, and Tanaka realized he was actually nervous about suggesting this.  Tanaka didn't think he'd ever seen Noya truly nervous before.</p><p>"Sure," Tanaka said before he'd realized the word had formed in his mouth.</p><p>Noya's eyes shot up and met his, his expression slightly shocked before he schooled it into a confident grin. "You sure?  I don't wanna pressure you."</p><p>Tanaka couldn't refute any of Noya's points so far.  He couldn't deny that masturbating together did seem better than doing it solo.  First of all, he hadn't even been able to manage a solo orgasm since their first session, and he was scared to deny Noya now and discover that was still the case.  And secondly, he had to admit that both his orgasms were stronger than any other he'd had recently.</p><p>Really, his main hesitation was that it was <em>weird</em> and definitively <em>not normal</em>.  But his and Noya's friendship wasn't normal in the first place.  They were closer than any other friends he knew, and he loved that.  He loved knowing Noya and being known in return, loved the unwavering support and security he got from being Noya's best friend, loved how open they were with each other and how they shared everything.</p><p>So if they were truly open and supportive and sharing—if they were truly the best of bros—why shouldn't they do this?  It was only weird if they made it weird, and clearly Noya didn't think it was weird, so there was no reason to hesitate.  In fact, it was probably very healthy of them to do this.  They were red-blooded boys, after all.  No, men.  They were men doing what came naturally, and really they were probably just ahead of the curve and all guys would be masturbating with their friends in a couple years because it just made sense.</p><p>"Yeah, that sounds good," Tanaka replied.</p><p>Noya smiled widely. "Awesome.  Wanna do it now?"</p><p>Tanaka's throat went dry, and he opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by the sound of cupboards slamming in the kitchen.</p><p>"Nee-san?  When did she get home?" Noya asked, turning his head toward the sound.</p><p>"This morning, I guess," Tanaka said, throwing his blankets off and swinging his legs off the bed. "I better make her breakfast before she destroys the kitchen.  You eating here?"</p><p>"Yeah!" Noya exclaimed, eyes lighting up.</p><p>"And then…" Tanaka swallowed. "And then, after, maybe we…we can.  But at your place?"</p><p>Noya grinned. "Can't wait."</p><p>/ / /</p><p>The mutual masturbation quickly made itself a part of their routine.  They did it almost every day, sometimes twice a day on the weekends, and Tanaka had never gotten off so regularly in his life.  On his own, he just did it whenever the mood struck, usually a couple times a week, but it seemed like Noya was always in the mood, and Tanaka remembered the comment Noya had made that first weekend about usually masturbating once per day.</p><p>They didn't plan when they did it.  It just happened whenever they wanted a break from homework, or if they woke up with wood, or if they got bored while watching a movie, or if neither of them could fall asleep.  If one of them was in the mood, they just asked, "D'you wanna?" and the other would almost always agree.</p><p>Tanaka was ridiculously nervous the first time he initiated it, the Tuesday after their agreement.  Noya had been the one to bring it up the four times after that Friday—once on Saturday, twice on Sunday, and once on Monday—and Tanaka was happy to go along, feeling eager for it himself.  He figured that was how the arrangement would work best, with Noya deciding when and him agreeing.  Tanaka wasn't sure how to bring it up himself, and he was worried about appearing overeager or weird and scaring Noya off, so he decided to keep quiet and wait patiently.</p><p>But on that Tuesday, they were studying Japanese history in Tanaka's bedroom, and Tanaka was feeling pent up for some reason that had nothing to do with the way Noya's slender fingers were dancing mindlessly over the lid of his water bottle.  He just sat there, reading the same sentence over and over again without processing it, and he was waiting and waiting for Noya to suggest a <em>study break</em>, but Noya's eyes were glued to his textbook for the first time in his life, and Tanaka felt like he was about to explode.</p><p>Almost an hour later, and after relearning how to work his voice around the tension in his throat, Tanaka eventually ground out, "D'you wanna?"</p><p>"Finally!" Noya exclaimed, throwing his pencil down and immediately beginning to strip off his shirt.</p><p>Tanaka blinked. "What?"</p><p>Noya stood and walked toward the bedroom door, and Tanaka's eyes traced the lines of Noya's back as he went. "I've been waiting, Ryuu.  You sure know how to take your goddamn time."</p><p>"What do you mean?" Tanaka asked, feeling embarrassed though he wasn't sure what for.</p><p>Noya locked the door and turned around, and Tanaka's eyes snapped up to meet his. "I mean, I can't always be the one who starts it," he said, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down his legs. "This has gotta be equal, you know?  Good for both of us, or what's the point?"</p><p>Tanaka nodded mutely, watching as Noya stepped out of his jeans.  Once free of them, Noya planted a hand on the low table they were studying on and leaned over close, jabbing a finger in Tanaka's face.</p><p>"It'll be our third rule," Noya said. "Both of us have to feel comfortable initiating.  Got it?"</p><p>"Got it," Tanaka said, exhaling when Noya straightened back up.  He could feel his pulse already elevating.</p><p>"Good." Noya planted his hands on his hips, hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his boxer briefs, ready to pull them down. "So we doing this or what?"</p><p>Tanaka grinned and made to grab his laptop.</p><p>They'd developed other rules as they went on.  Some were spoken, like their first two rules: one, that they alternated who picked the videos to watch; and two, that the other had veto power on said video if they really didn't like it.  Other rules were unspoken, like always maintaining a physical space between them so they didn't accidentally touch or brush against each other, and trying to do it only when others weren't around.</p><p>The sessions were useful not only because of the regular sexual gratification and release but because Spring Qualifiers were in a month and a half, and everybody was beginning to tense up about it.  They were cautiously hopeful about their prospects after narrowly placing second in the Interhigh back in June.  That performance got them out of the first qualifying rounds for Spring Nationals in August, but none of them were taking it easy.  Now that the October qualifiers were fast-approaching, Ukai was drilling them harder and harder in preparation, and the masturbating turned out to be a great stress reliever after a tough practice.</p><p>"Ryuu," Noya growled, a week and a half into their new routine, as they climbed the stairs toward the clubroom.</p><p>Tanaka glanced back at him.  They'd just finished up another hard practice.  Ukai had run an intense day, focusing on building stamina and strength through a bunch of different workout sets and series before releasing them for individual practice.  Noya had spent the time trying to improve the accuracy of his receives, digging up any balls sent his way from the players practicing serves and attempting to send them to the same spot.  It was grueling and difficult, and he'd been wound up and frustrated since practice's end.</p><p>"Yeah?" Tanaka asked.</p><p>"D'you wanna?"</p><p>Tanaka froze with his foot on the second floor landing of the club building as his lower appendage twitched in some sort of Pavlovian response to their code phrase.</p><p>"Here?" he asked, his voice going somewhat squeaky.</p><p>The clubroom in the middle of campus wasn't exactly <em>private</em>, but it was late in the evening and they were the last ones at the gym, having finished the cleaning duties themselves.  All the other players had cleared out a while ago due to Tanaka having sent them off early so they didn't have to deal with Noya's sour mood.  Even Kageyama and Hinata were gone, although they'd protested loudly when Tanaka kicked them out.</p><p>It was a bad idea.  It was a terrible idea.  If they were caught, if anyone walked in on them, it would mean being teased by their friends at best and being expelled at worst.  But Tanaka was wound up too, and he wanted to work it out just as much as Noya did.</p><p>"No, it's fine," Noya grumbled when Tanaka took too long to respond, shoving past him and heading toward the clubroom door. "Let's just hurry to my house and—"</p><p>"Let's do it," Tanaka said.</p><p>Noya turned back to look at him. "You sure?"</p><p>"Yeah, man, you need the release," Tanaka said with a shrug that he hoped came off as nonchalant.</p><p>His friend grinned, and Tanaka tossed him the clubroom keys.  Once inside, they locked the door behind them and shed their jackets, and Tanaka pulled up the browser on his phone.  It was his turn to pick, and he quickly selected a video of two MILFs and a young girl.  He propped his phone up on one of the shelves in the room and Noya was quickly beside him.</p><p>Unsurprisingly, Noya had already shed every inch of clothing on his body, and Tanaka could read the tension in the set of his slender shoulders.  Tanaka elected to keep his shirt on, though he did preemptively drop his boxers to his ankles with his sweatpants.  Anticipation thrummed through him as he started the video, and he glanced down at Noya, whose eyes were fixed straight on the screen as it played through the introduction of the story.</p><p>The more they did this, the more Tanaka looked forward to it, way more than he thought he should.  And what Tanaka looked forward to most was seeing Noya like this: wild, unrestrained, almost primal.  It made something in his gut twist, and the past few times he'd caught himself paying more attention to Noya than the videos.</p><p>He knew it was wrong on some level for him to get off on the sight of his friend getting off.  It was intimate—too intimate—and he knew that if Noya ever caught him doing it that it would probably be the end of this.  That was a line that bros just shouldn't cross, but how could he help it?</p><p>Noya was mesmerizing when he masturbated, stroking himself with the same vigor he had in everything he did while his other hand pulled his hair and scratched his chest and tweaked his nipples.  And he was loud, much louder than the videos, so of course it pulled Tanaka's attention.  It was like a live porno happening in front of him, and even though he wasn't gay, Tanaka felt it was perfectly normal to get aroused by something like that.</p><p>On screen, the young apparently-innocent girl was at the house for a piano lesson.  She was seated at the piano bench, playing a disjointed melody on the keys.  Her hair was shoulder length and thin, a wispy brown that hung straight down around her cherubic face.  She bit her lip cutely as she continued hitting wrong notes.</p><p>Her piano teacher, a busty blonde with tanned skin and glasses that gave her an almost librarian-like look, had left the room to answer the phone.  While she was out, her friend who was staying with her had entered the room, startling the girl.  This woman was dressed more casually than the blonde, in a flowy sundress.  Her black hair was tossed over one shoulder, highlighting the flower tattoo on her opposite shoulder.</p><p>"Renee!" the teacher exclaimed when she returned to the room. "Don't distract my student, please!"</p><p>The black-haired woman held her hands up in a placating gesture. "Sorry.  I'll just listen," she said, and took a seat in the armchair in the corner.</p><p>Satisfied, the blonde woman leaned over the girl and corrected her playing.  The woman's breasts pressed against the girl's back as she covered her hands to correct her positioning.  The girl blushed and seemed flustered, but who wouldn't be?</p><p>As the girl played again, the teacher turned around to dig through a box of music.  Seeing her friend was distracted, the other woman silently rose from the armchair and walked around to the back of the baby grand piano, then got on her hands and knees and crawled underneath it.</p><p>Slowly, she crawled forward until she was just behind the wooden posts where the pedals came down, and she reached a hand forward and petted the girl's right thigh.  The brunette shuddered, looking down in shock, and the woman pressed her finger to her lips in a shushing gesture.  Then she slowly pushed the girl's legs apart and reached farther forward, stroking her fingers over the girl's underwear.</p><p>Tanaka palmed himself, feeling his dick slowly begin to harden under his ministrations, and he eagerly watched as the teacher set a new piece of music on the piano for the girl to play and then moved to the side, allowing the black-haired woman to move so she was in front of the pedals.  She deftly pushed the girl's underwear aside and inserted a finger into her pink folds.</p><p>A low, quiet moan slipped out past Tanaka's lips as he reached into his underwear and pressed his thumb to the slit in his dick, smearing the precum that had gathered there.  He glanced to his side to see how Noya was reacting, and his friend was lightly stroking his erection like he usually did when starting out.  His other hand was propped up on his hip, his elbow tucked back so it didn't touch Tanaka.</p><p>The girl's playing got somehow even worse, and she was quivering and barely stifling her moans.  The woman inserted a second finger, and the teacher finally noticed the bad playing.  As she came around to correct the girl's playing, she spotted her friend sitting underneath the piano, two knuckles deep in her student.  There was a brief argument, and then the blonde was easily convinced to join in.</p><p>Tanaka was now stroking himself slowly, focusing his attention on the head so he could slick up his hand with the precum that was now steadily dribbling out.  On his phone screen, the girl was laid out on the bench, with the tattooed woman going down on her while the blonde teacher straddled the girl's face.  The girl was moaning, her back arching up off the bench as the black-haired woman pleasured her.  Tanaka groaned, but Noya let out a heavy sigh—not one of his usual sounds—and Tanaka looked down at him.</p><p>Noya was frowning, and his movements were stiff.  He was hard now, but he didn't look happy about it.  His hand twisted robotically back and forth as he stroked, lacking all his usual energy.</p><p>"Something wrong?" Tanaka asked, slowing his own movements.</p><p>Noya sighed again, dropping his hand from his erection. "I dunno, I guess I'm just not into it."</p><p>"I can pick another," Tanaka suggested.</p><p>"Nah, I can get through it," Noya replied, shaking his head.</p><p>"Dude, this is why the veto rule was established," Tanaka said. "If this isn't doing it for you, let's watch a different one."</p><p>Noya shrugged. "I guess."</p><p>"Cool," he said, though he made a mental note to find the video again and watch it himself in the future.</p><p>He wiped his hand off on his shirt and grabbed his phone up, navigating to the categories page.  He quickly found the Rough Sex category and began scrolling through the newest videos.</p><p>"Any of these look good to you?" Tanaka asked.</p><p>Noya hummed impassively, watching as Tanaka scrolled to the end of the page.  Tanaka went to the next one, then the next one, then the next one, his erection slowly dying as the silence stretched on.  He began feeling awkward, just standing there half naked in the drafty clubroom, and he cleared his throat lightly, wondering if Noya had spaced out.</p><p>"I don't fucking know," Noya growled after Tanaka cleared his throat. "Just pick something."</p><p>"You pick," Tanaka said, shoving the phone at him.</p><p>"No, it's your turn."</p><p>"I'll take your next turn instead," Tanaka said, thrusting the phone in his face. "Go on.  What are you in the mood for?"</p><p>Noya took the phone with his clean hand, then angled it so Tanaka couldn't see what he was searching.  His thumb tapped across the screen, and Tanaka waited patiently.  Finally, Noya selected something, though he paused it just as the cheesy porn music began.  He held the phone close to his chest, pointedly staring at the floor.</p><p>"Noya?" Tanaka asked.</p><p>"Veto it if you need to," Noya said quietly, then set the phone back on the shelf.</p><p>Tanaka was about to protest, to say that he wouldn't need to veto as long as Noya had found something he liked, but the words died in his throat when he looked at the video.  It was titled, "Blindfolded slut barebacked rough," and it featured two men.</p><p>"I'll pick something else," Noya said, reaching for the phone.</p><p>Tanaka caught his wrist. "It's fine."</p><p>"Ryuu, we don't—"</p><p>"Noya—"</p><p>"You're not into it, so—"</p><p>"I said it's fine!" Tanaka snapped. "It just caught me off guard.  I don't have a problem with it."</p><p>Noya's eyes were narrowed as he stared up at Tanaka, clearly trying to read him.  Tanaka waited for the analysis to be over, half-panicking over what the verdict would be.  He was nervous about this.  He couldn't deny that.  The idea of watching this, of watching two men kiss and suck and fuck, felt illicit and almost wrong.  He didn't have a problem with gay people—half his friends were gay, and his own sister was a lesbian—but this made him nervous in a way he couldn't easily explain.</p><p>"Only if you're sure," Noya said. "I know you're not…that you're…"</p><p>"Straight," Tanaka supplied.</p><p>Noya pursed his lips and nodded. "Right.  I know you're not into this."</p><p>"Porn isn't real life," Tanaka said with a shrug. "It's all fantasy.  People watch things all the time that they wouldn't actually do.  I said it's fine and I meant it."</p><p>Noya was still watching him intently, and it made Tanaka's insides squirm.  The silence stretched between them, and he wondered if there had ever been an awkward moment between them before they started up this venture.  Then something occurred to him.</p><p>"Wait," Tanaka said, the gears turning in his mind.</p><p>Everything Noya had said so far was aimed at Tanaka: he said <em>Tanaka</em> was straight, that <em>Tanaka</em> wasn't into this.  Noya had selected the video fairly quickly once Tanaka gave him free rein, meaning Noya knew this was what he'd been in the mood for, meaning he likely watched gay porn fairly regularly.  What Tanaka had said about people watching things they wouldn't was true, but…</p><p>"Noya?" he asked quietly, hoping Noya would hear the unspoken question.</p><p>Noya finally looked away from him, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. "I'm, uh…I'm pansexual."</p><p>Tanaka felt like a stone dropped into his stomach.  Not because Noya was gay, not because he was suddenly uncomfortable around his best friend—which he wasn't—but because this was clearly something Noya had known about himself for at least a while now, and he hadn't told Tanaka.  They'd never kept secrets from each other before.</p><p>"Why didn't you tell me?" Tanaka asked, and he cursed himself as the words left his mouth.  He was making Noya's coming out about himself, and that was wrong.  His sister would slap him if she was seeing this.</p><p>Noya shrugged. "It didn't feel like it mattered.  I didn't really have any crushes or anyone I was interested in dating.  So I just…didn't say anything."</p><p>"Well, uh, thank you for telling me," Tanaka said, which should've been the first thing out of his mouth.</p><p>"Yeah, man.  Thanks for being cool about it," Noya replied, looking up at him once more. "I wish this wasn't how it happened."</p><p>Tanaka was once again acutely aware of their situation: Noya stark naked, Tanaka with his pants and boxers around his ankles, both standing in the clubroom on a Wednesday night with a gay porn video up on Tanaka's phone.  They immediately burst into raucous laughter, and it dissolved the tension in the room.</p><p>"Do you still want to?" Tanaka asked once their giggles subsided.</p><p>"Only if you do," Noya said.</p><p>"Let's do it."</p><p>Noya grinned wickedly, that spark that Tanaka knew and loved once again present in his hazel eyes.  He reached out a hand and pressed play on the video.  Tanaka turned toward the shelf, ignoring the nervous hum in his veins as he watched the men on the screen.</p><p>There wasn't any story buildup like in the videos Tanaka usually chose.  The porn music began, and the camera panned over to two men making out in the middle of a bedroom.  They were about the same height, although one was much more heavily muscled than the other and had a shaved head.  The muscled man had both hands locked on the other man's head, fingers curled into the short blond hair, holding their faces together so tightly it looked like it hurt.  The smaller man's hands were going up the other's shirt, moaning as their lips and teeth pulled at each other.  True to the title, he was blindfolded.</p><p>The bigger man cut the kissing off short and shoved the brunette to his knees before unbuckling his belt.  The blindfolded man waited eagerly, his spit-slicked mouth open in anticipation.  Grinning, the muscled man pulled out his cock and guided his partner's mouth onto it.  It wasn't as long as was typical for most porn actors, but it was surprisingly thick.</p><p>Eagerly, the blindfolded man set to work sucking and licking his way over the shaft.  The bigger man mussed his partner's hair as he sucked, then he pulled off his shirt so he was completely naked.  His chest was impressively chiseled, and the smaller man's hands wandered up from where they'd been planted on his hips, fingers dancing over the abs.  Then the bigger man dug both fingers into his partner's hair and held his head still as he thrust his hips.</p><p>Noya groaned loudly, and Tanaka glanced down to see he was stroking himself firmly, already way more into this video than the first one.  Tanaka himself was also hard again, but he wasn't sure how to feel about it.</p><p>On screen, the blond moaned and gagged as his partner fucked into him, drool beginning to drip down from where his tongue hung over his lower lip.  Suddenly the bigger man buried his cock into his partner's throat for several seconds before releasing him, the smaller man gasping and coughing once he was released.  Noya cursed under his breath, and Tanaka felt the back of his neck get hot.</p><p>The muscled man ripped off his shirt and directed his head back to his cock, and the smaller man eagerly went back to bobbing his head up and down.  The blowjob continued for several more minutes, and the larger man stroked one hand over his partner's back, growling out encouragement and praise.  Then they switched positions, and the smaller man was now on the bed.  His partner pulled his pants and underwear off in one clean motion, and then he laid on his back on the bed so his head was hanging off the edge, and his mouth eagerly took the large cock once more.</p><p>As the larger man thrust gently into his mouth, the smaller man stroked his own erection.  The top grunted softly as he moved, his hands on his hips, giving the camera a view of his muscles as he moved.  Then he leaned forward, stroking a hand down his partner's chest and over his belly to the soft skin between his cock and his thigh.</p><p>Tanaka's stomach clenched, watching intently as the man's fingers dipped down past his partner's balls to his ass cheeks.  The smaller man moaned around his mouthful of dick, and his hands moved to pinch his nipples, writhing on the bed as the bigger man pulled his hand back to spit on his fingers and then return to his work.  Tanaka watched, mesmerized, as the man's finger slowly disappeared, seemingly swallowed by the tight ring of muscle.</p><p>The fingering continued like this for a few more minutes, and then the top changed their position again.  He flipped his partner over so the blond was on his hands and knees, his ass in the air and his face against a pillow.  The muscled man climbed on to the bed, a wicked smile on his face as he crawled over to his partner, grabbing the bottom's dripping dick in one hand and pressing the thumb of the other to his hole.</p><p>Next to him, Noya's breathing was coming faster, and Tanaka would be lying if he said his heart rate hadn't increased too.  His hand pumped steadily over his length, at the same pace that the top in the video was now stroking his partner as he licked over the puckered hole.  The muscled man pushed his finger inside once more, and soon added a second.  The blindfolded man's moans were high pitched, drool pooling on the pillow under his head.</p><p>The rimjob was rough and sloppy, and the top frequently spat on his partner's hole before diving in with his tongue.  Then he would pull out and fingerfuck him fast and hard—they were now up to three fingers—and the blond man would cry out sharply.  Tanaka couldn't decide if it was in pain or pleasure, but adrenaline thrummed through his own veins just the same.</p><p>He looked down at Noya, who was transfixed by the video.  His other hand pinched and pulled at his left nipple, and his lower lip was caught between his teeth.  He stroked over himself with a tight grip, the head of his dick red and glistening.  Tanaka thought about the blowjob in the video and briefly wondered what it was like, and then he shook himself and returned his attention to the video.</p><p>When he looked back, the top was lining himself up to plow into his partner.  One hand was wrapped securely around the smaller man's hip, while the other was pressed to his shoulder, pinning him in place.  The head of his thick cock pressed against the hole, and with a single thrust he was inside and the bottom was gasping out his praise.  The larger man didn't take it slow; instead he immediately set a brutal pace, the slap of their flesh loud and in time with the cries of the blond.</p><p>Tanaka's knees were going weak, and he adjusted his stance, reaching a hand forward to brace himself against the shelving unit.  His cheeks heated, embarrassed at how much this video was exciting him, but Noya was loud and enthusiastic beside him, so he didn't allow himself to feel too ashamed.  He looked over and saw that Noya was sucking on two of his fingers, his teeth bared and digging into the thin skin, and Tanaka swallowed heavily, his slippery hand tightening around his cock.</p><p>Minutes later, the top pulled out and flipped his partner onto his back.  The smaller man was breathing heavily, arms splayed out uselessly to his side as he waited blindly for his partner to use him.  The muscled man shoved his legs apart and up with one arm so they were bent at the knee, and he shoved a shocking four fingers into his partner's hole.  The bottom squealed, and the man slapped the free hand to his mouth.</p><p>The aim was slightly off, and his hand ended up inside his mouth, so the smaller man bit down on it.  The larger man switched his hand's angle, pressing his fingers to his partner's tongue, holding his mouth open and causing him to gag slightly.  He continued to fuck his hand into the man's hole, moving it up and down more than in and out to stretch it out.</p><p>Once he was satisfied with his work, the man pulled his hand out again and shoved the brunet's knees up further, folding the man practically in half.  He lightly slapped his partner's face several times, then gripped the man's jaw hard as he plunged back into him.  His hips snapped back and forth, fucking him deep and hard, and the bottom's voice was rough and needy when he moaned.</p><p>Noya moaned too, his voice shooting up in both tone and volume, and he shifted his stance, which suddenly put him closer to Tanaka with his left shoulder touching Tanaka's arm.  He expected Noya to move away, but he didn't, and the pressure of his body against Tanaka's sent an unexpected jolt through him.  He looked away again, feeling conflicted, but he didn't move away either.</p><p>The men on screen changed position again.  The bottom was now laid out on his stomach, and Tanaka expected him to get on his knees again, but the muscled man closed his partner's legs and moved to straddle him.  He mounted the smaller man, pushed his cheeks apart, and entered him again, riding his partner hard.  The man leaned over and dug his fingers into the bottom's short hair, using what purchase he had to pull his head back.  He leaned forward and sank his teeth into the flesh adjoining his neck and shoulder, and the smaller man mewled in pleasure.</p><p>Suddenly Noya shifted, and when Tanaka looked down at him it was to see Noya wrap his hand around Tanaka's upper arm, using him to stay standing as his orgasm wracked through his body.  His hand was warm, and Tanaka felt it tighten around him as he cried out, throwing his head back as he rubbed himself through it.  Tanaka's own hand kept pumping, his speed increasing as he watched his friend be lost to a world of ecstasy.</p><p>After a few moments, Noya's shoulders slumped and he hung his head forward, but his hand didn't leave Tanaka.  If anything, his grip became even stronger, and Tanaka looked back to the screen.  His muscles were beginning to buzz and clench as his climax approached, and he watched as the top plunged sharply into his partner, clearly in the throes of his own orgasm.  Tanaka thrusted into the tight circle of his fingers and thought about the two men, and about Noya being into this, about Noya possibly <em>wanting</em> this, and his hazy thoughts wondered if Noya imagined himself being fucked or…or doing the fucking.</p><p>His orgasm came over him suddenly, and he was grateful for the hand he'd braced against the shelf a while ago.  It certainly came in handy now as his shoulders hunched and every muscle in his body tightened and released.  He squeezed his eyes shut tight, his arm cramping slightly in his hurried pace, but he paid that no mind.  The pleasure was just too great.</p><p>When the white spots in his vision and the haze in his mind began to clear, he briefly considered collapsing to his knees, but a quick glance told him that was the last place he wanted to be.  His and Noya's cum had landed all over the shelves and the floor and their hands.  Speaking of hands, he was now aware of Noya's hand gently stroking back and forth between his shoulder blades, which Tanaka guessed he'd done throughout Tanaka's climax.  He wasn't sure how to feel about that.</p><p>On Tanaka's phone, the smaller man was now alone.  The top had abandoned him after his climax, and he was sitting up against some pillows and jerking himself to completion now.  The camera angle was low, affording the watcher a perfect view as the top's jizz began to leak out of his ass while he stroked his cock.  Tanaka reached out with his clean hand and stopped the video.</p><p>"Uh, towels?" Tanaka said, his voice embarrassingly strained.</p><p>Noya's hand fell away from his arm and went to the box of clean sweat rags.  He tossed one to Tanaka, who first cleaned his hand and then set to trying to clean up the rest of their mess.  In the back of his mind, Tanaka wondered how many times these towels had been used for purposes like this, then decided he didn't want to know.</p><p>Once the evidence of their adventure was gone, they set about changing into their clean post-practice clothes.  Tanaka balled the soiled rag up in his dirty clothes and made a mental note to bring it back once he did laundry this weekend.</p><p>"Hey, um," Noya started, then paused, pursing his lips.</p><p>Tanaka pulled his shirt over his head and then looked back at him. "Yeah?"</p><p>"I'm glad it worked for you," Noya said.</p><p>"Oh.  Right.  Yeah, it was…it was good," Tanaka replied, looking away as he felt a flush crawl up the back of his neck.  It had been almost <em>too</em> good. "No homo," he blurted.</p><p>Noya looked over and raised an eyebrow. "Really, dude?"</p><p>"Sorry," Tanaka mumbled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.</p><p>Noya rolled his eyes.  "Well, speaking of homo…thanks for being cool about me being pan.  I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."</p><p>"I've always got your back, bro, and don't worry about it," he said, slipping his jacket over his shoulders. "So uh, how…how long have you known?"</p><p>"Since the last year of middle school," Noya replied.</p><p>A hole gaped in the pit of Tanaka's stomach.  Almost three years.   Almost three years Noya had kept this secret.  Almost three years Noya had known this important fact about himself and hadn't seen fit to tell Tanaka about it.</p><p>He swallowed and reminded himself that it was Noya's business and Tanaka wasn't entitled to knowing everything about Noya, especially something as personal as this, but he couldn't help but feel somewhat betrayed, or like he'd let Noya down in some way.  But Noya had said he didn't think it mattered, so maybe he hadn't told <em>anyone</em>, which made Tanaka feel a little better.</p><p>"Does anybody else know?" Tanaka asked, needing the confirmation.</p><p>"Asahi."</p><p>Tanaka swallowed again, and the hole inside him was now on fire. "Oh.  Cool.  Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool."</p><p>He'd tried to sound casual, but it clearly didn't work, because Noya was suddenly standing right in front of him, their chests almost touching as he stared beseechingly up at Tanaka.</p><p>"It doesn't mean anything that he knows and you didn't," Noya said seriously.</p><p>"Right, right," Tanaka said, nodding, going for casual again, but the crease between Noya's eyebrows only got deeper.</p><p>"Dude, I—"</p><p>"No, I got it, it's okay," Tanaka said, and he knew his voice sounded strained but he couldn't fix it. "You've always been close, and you probably liked him, right?  I get it, you don't—"</p><p>"Ryuunosuke."</p><p>Tanaka's breath hitched in his chest, and he stared down at Noya with wide eyes.  Noya only ever used his full given name when he was dead serious, like when he talked Tanaka down from a panic attack last year before Nationals or when he asked Tanaka if he thought Noya had a real shot at going pro.</p><p>"It doesn't mean anything," Noya repeated, reaching up to place a firm hand on Tanaka's chest. "It was earlier this year, in spring.  We were hanging, and he'd been doing research on different sexual identities after Daichi and Suga came out.  He was trying to understand the difference between bi and pan, and I explained it to him.  He guessed after that and said he wouldn't tell anyone."</p><p>Tanaka wanted to look away, but he was trapped by the intensity of Noya's gaze.  Noya's fingers curled against his chest, lightly gripping his shirt.</p><p>"I told you I didn't think it mattered, and I honestly didn't.  I see now it did.  I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Noya said, and he let his hand fall away and took a step back.  He looked vaguely disappointed, but Tanaka couldn't tell where the disappointment was aimed.</p><p>"No!" Tanaka exclaimed, pissed at himself for messing this all up. "It doesn't ma—I mean it does matter, obviously, but not in a bad way!  I just mean…it's a part of you, Noya, and I thought I knew everything about you.  I just…I guess I'm just worried I did something to make you not trust me or…"</p><p>Noya shook his head. "No, man, nothing like that.  I…I dunno, I was just in my head about it.  Thought it would change things.  Dumb shit, I guess.  I should've known better." He looked up and grinned brightly, and Tanaka's breath caught once more. "You've always been my number one, Ryuu.  I trust you more than anyone.  I should've told you."</p><p>Tanaka bit his lip and swung his arms out, wrapping them around Noya and crushing his friend's face to his chest.</p><p>"I love you, man, and nothing's gonna change that," Tanaka said. "Thank you for trusting me."</p><p>Noya's arms went up around him too, and he heard Noya try to say something in response, but his head was pressed too tightly to Tanaka's body and it came out all muffled, his breath warm against Tanaka's ribcage.  Then, because the moment was getting too sappy, Tanaka lifted one hand and ruffled Noya's perfectly gelled hair, crushing the spikes this way and that.  Noya cursed and laughed and swatted at his arm, and after a few moments Tanaka released him.</p><p>"You asshole," Noya said, grinning as he tried—and failed—to fix his hair.</p><p>Tanaka laughed and grabbed his bag up off the floor, and Noya did the same.  They left the room and locked it behind them, then began the trek through campus toward their neighborhood.  The school was almost eerily quiet this late, and he hoped they wouldn't run into any campus security.</p><p>"You did like him, though, right?" Tanaka asked, staring at the ground as they walked.  All of Asahi and Noya's interactions were now recoding themselves in his head.  Every time Noya gave Asahi an impassioned pep talk, all the times he hung off of Asahi's shoulders, and anything Noya had ever said about him.</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>"Asahi."</p><p>"Oh." Noya was quiet for a moment. "I guess so.  Not seriously, though."</p><p>"But you were always encouraging him and praising him and—"</p><p>"Yeah, cause he has a spine like cooked pasta," Noya snorted. "I believed in him.  I believe in everyone on our team.  Asahi just needed more encouragement than most."</p><p>"You quit the team for him," Tanaka grumbled, and he can't believe he let the words out.</p><p>Noya paused, then blew out a sigh. "Yeah.  That was a dark time.  But it's not cause I was in love with him or anything.  I just thought he was throwing away all his potential—all of<em> our</em> potential—and it pissed me the fuck off."</p><p>Tanaka remembered the fight in the equipment room, the tension in Noya's arms and shoulders when Tanaka had to step in and pull him away from Asahi.  His whole body had been shaking with rage.  He'd never ever seen Noya get that angry before or since.</p><p>"And anyway I didn't <em>quit</em> for him.  I got suspended, remember?" Noya continued. "I just…didn't want to return without him."</p><p>"Cause <em>he</em> was the ace that deserved having you at his back," Tanaka muttered.</p><p>Noya stopped walking suddenly, and Tanaka hunched his shoulders, stopping just a few feet in front of him.  He didn't know what was wrong with him, why he was suddenly admitting all of his darkest secrets and worries.  Noya's coming out had thrown him for a loop, and then the thing about Asahi knowing dug its claws in, and now he felt all turned around and cagey.  Part of him wished he could take this whole evening back.</p><p>"You wanna elaborate on that?" Noya asked with an edge to his voice. "Or are you going to keep being pissy?  What's with you tonight anyway?  Why do I have to keep justifying my actions to you?"</p><p>"I don't know, man," Tanaka muttered, rubbing a hand over the short fuzz covering his head and hating himself for all of this. "I'm sorry.  I guess…I guess I've always been jealous of you and Asahi.  How much you admired him.  Like, we started volleyball together.  You and me.  It was our thing, and my goal has always been to be the ace who deserved you watching his back.</p><p>"And then Asahi came along and you were practically smitten, and like—I get it.  I understand.  Dude's fuckin' awesome when he's on his game.  But when you left and you didn't come back, it felt like you were giving up on me, or choosing him over me or some stupid insecure shit like that."</p><p>Tanaka paused and pinched the bridge of his nose, another secret on the tip of his tongue, and figured he might as well let it out.  He's already spilled so much tonight.</p><p>"I-I thought…I was…I was scared you'd quit the team this year.  Since he graduated.  I thought you wouldn't stick around anymore if he was gone.  And that terrified me.  But you didn't, and this year has been awesome, and we're closer than ever, but hearing that he knew about you being pan and I didn't, I guess it brought this out in me again.  And I know you told me it doesn't matter.  I'm your number one and all that.  I know I'm being irrational, but I just…yeah.  I dunno."</p><p>He shrugged his shoulders, still facing away from Noya.  The silence stretched out between them, and he tried not to imagine a chasm opening up between where they stood, pushing them farther apart.  But just as he was trying to push the image from his mind, it was shattered completely by a pair of arms wrapping around his middle.  He felt Noya's face press into his back, and he exhaled with relief.</p><p>"I've been taking you for granted, huh?" Noya mumbled, his voice muffled by Tanaka's jacket. "I'm sorry, Ryuu.  I didn't realize what I was doing to you.  I didn't mean to make you worry."</p><p>Hesitantly, Tanaka reached down and put his hands over Noya's where they were clasped just under his ribcage.  He squeezed them gently.</p><p>"You're the best ace.  You know that, right?"</p><p>Tanaka scoffed quietly, shaking his head, and Noya's arms tightened around him.</p><p>"I'm serious, man." Noya turned his head so his cheek was against Tanaka's back instead, allowing his voice to be heard more clearly. "I know Asahi's built like a tank, and Shouyou's got his insane jumps, and Mamoru's already great at cut shots—"</p><p>"You're really building me up here," Tanaka said dryly.</p><p>"—But!  You're the most reliable out of all of them.  You never let anything faze you, and you've got an arm like a cannon.  The team depends on you, and they all look up to you.  Me included.  I…I never really thanked you.  For becoming my friend, for getting me into volleyball.  I owe it all to you, Ryuu, and there's no one I'd rather play with.  Honest.  That stuff with Asahi…a lot of it was my own injured pride.  It had nothing to do with choosing him over you.  I'd never do that."</p><p>Noya squeezed him one more time before releasing him and dancing around to stand in front of him.  Their eyes met, and Tanaka didn't even try to blink away the tears in his eyes.</p><p>"Number one, right?" Noya asked, raising his fist.</p><p>"Number one," Tanaka replied, his voice slightly choked, and knocked his fist against Noya's.</p><p>They resumed walking, their path lit only by the streetlights dotted sparsely along the road.  The silence between them now was comfortable, as they listened to the sounds of distant cars and crickets.  Tanaka walked with his head held high, his back straighter than normal.  He felt physically lighter now, after they got all that out in the open, and he couldn't believe he'd held on to those negative feelings for so long.  He wasn't typically someone who got down in the dumps and depressed, usually preferring to shove it all aside in favor of pressing on.  But everyone had to have dark days, he supposed.  He was just lucky he had Noya there to pull him back into the light when he needed it.</p><p>"So you didn't have a crush on Asahi," Tanaka said casually, picking up their conversation like they'd never stopped, like they didn't just have the closest thing to a fight they'd ever had.</p><p>"Nope."</p><p>"You were attracted to him, though, right?"</p><p>"Oh, I'd climb that like a tree," Noya responded instantly, a dreamy sort of tone to his voice.</p><p>Tanaka burst out into laughter.</p><p>"But I think that about pretty much the whole team," Noya added, and Tanaka choked on his own laughter.</p><p>He felt sure his face was going up in flames, even though he kind of understood what Noya was saying.  It would be hard to deny that their team was made up of some hella attractive guys.  Sometimes he'd sneak peaks of the others when they changed in the clubroom together, just to compare against himself of course.  There was plenty to be jealous of between Daichi's thighs, Tsukishima's lean calves, and Narita's broad shoulders alone.  It meant a guy like Noya had a lot to admire, and Tanaka briefly wondered if he was part of the "pretty much" side of the whole team, but he shook that thought away because it didn't matter.</p><p>Beside him, Noya laughed and reached up to pat him on the back.  It reminded him of earlier, of Noya rubbing his back as he came, and his face burned even brighter as he coughed and tried to regain control of his breathing.</p><p>Noya took his hand back and continued, "But it's not like anyone could ever really compare to Kiyoko."</p><p>They both sighed at the same time, thinking of Kiyoko.  She was off at university, and Tanaka wondered if he should text her.  It had been a while since his last check in, after all, and a thrill went through him at the thought of being left on read again.</p><p>"And now?" Tanaka asked. "Since she's not around to outshine everyone?  Nobody's caught your eye?"</p><p>Noya grinned. "Nah, I think we've been ruined.  We've glimpsed perfection, and now nothing else will do."</p><p>"Yeah, you're probably right," Tanaka said, laughing as he shoved his hands in his pockets. </p><p>They approached the corner where the paths to their homes diverged, and Noya paused. "You wanna stay over?  I know it's a Wednesday."</p><p>"I would, but my dad's home, so," Tanaka said. "You can come over to mine if you want?"</p><p>"Nah, I won't intrude on your family time.  Tell him I say hi though," Noya replied. "See you tomorrow."</p><p>Tanaka raised his hand in a half-wave and started heading to the right, toward his own house, when he felt something slam into his side.  He staggered slightly under the weight and then realized it was Noya, who was hugging him tightly once more.  Chuckling slightly, Tanaka brought his arms around his friend and rested his chin on Noya's spiky hair.  They fit together perfectly, and Tanaka allowed a little fuzzy warmth to bloom in his chest.</p><p>"Love ya, Ryuu," Noya mumbled, then pulled away and waved before taking off down his street.</p><p>Tanaka smiled at his feet and felt a little foolish for his behavior earlier.  He'd been a melodramatic baby for ever thinking Noya would choose someone over him like that.  The past few weeks had been full of a surprising amount of ups and downs and uncomfortable moments ever since they began their masturbation partnership, but one thing hadn't changed, and that was him and Noya being there for each other always.</p><p>He hoped it never would.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Kinda feel like I should've tagged a third main character for this: Tanaka's Bi Panic</p><p>Hope y'all enjoyed, see ya next week!</p><p> </p><p>Porn videos in this chapter: <br/>- F/F scene about a principal enticing a student into having sex in exchange for better grades.  The scene features cunnilingus, vaginal and clitoral fingering, facesitting, tribbing, and penetrative strap-on sex.  There is spanking and slapping of the butt, labia, and breasts as well as hair pulling, light gagging with a tie, and descriptions of actions being rough or brutal.<br/>- F/F/F scene about a piano teacher and her friend having sex with her piano student.  The scene features vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, and facesitting.<br/>- M/M scene about two men in a bedroom.  One of the men is blindfolded for the entirety of the scene.  The scene features fellatio and irrumatio, deepthroating, male mastubation, anal fingering, rimming, handjob, bareback penetrative anal sex, and finger sucking.  There is some slapping and hair pulling as well as descriptions of actions being rough, brutal, and hard.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Gay as a Three-Dollar Bill</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Okay, nerds, I'm going to work," Saeko said, changing her shoes in the genkan. "Don't burn the house down or anything."</p><p>"Bye, sis!" Tanaka called, and Noya echoed him.</p><p>They waited, eyes fixed on the television screen where their <em>Mario Kart</em> race was underway.  Tanaka bit his lip, trying to focus, even as he felt Noya practically vibrating with anticipation next to him.  Outside, the car started up, followed by the thumping bass of Saeko's music, and a few minutes later the car backed out of the driveway and headed away.</p><p>"Finally!" Noya exclaimed, throwing his Wiimote away from him.  On screen, Mario crashed into a barricade just before Tanaka exited the game and powered down the Wii.</p><p>"Someone's excited," Tanaka teased, sliding his laptop out from under the couch where he'd stashed it earlier in anticipation.</p><p>Noya threw his shirt in Tanaka's face. "Don't act like you're not.  It's been <em>days</em>, Ryuu."</p><p>It had been days.  Only three, but still, they hadn't masturbated together since that Wednesday night in the clubroom.  Thursday they'd been foiled by Ennoshita forcing them into an hours-long study session for an important history exam they had the next day.  Then Friday they were going to do it at Noya's before going to Tanaka's for dinner and bed, but Tanaka's dad had picked them up from practice and insisted on taking all of them out for a big family dinner before he had to fly out again the next morning.  They were too nervous about Tanaka's thin walls to try anything with both his dad and his sister at home, so they'd just had to wait for the house to be blissfully empty once more.</p><p>"You're acting like you haven't gotten off since then," Tanaka said as he pulled up PornFun.</p><p>"That's cause I haven't!" Noya whined, wriggling out of his jeans and boxers.</p><p>Tanaka's fingers stilled over the mousepad, and he looked over at Noya with raised eyebrows. "You waited?"</p><p>"Yeah, didn't you?"</p><p>"Yeah," Tanaka said quietly, then turned back toward his laptop.  He hadn't masturbated since Wednesday either, but outside of their arrangement that wasn't unusual for him.  Noya, on the other hand, was a self-proclaimed daily jerker, and Tanaka tried not to wonder what it meant that he'd waited.</p><p><em>Nothing, it means nothing, why would it mean anything?</em> Tanaka told himself in his head as he browsed the categories, trying to figure out what he was interested in.  It would normally be Noya's turn, but they'd switched that night in the clubroom, and Tanaka's gaze hesitated, staring at the link to the Gay Porn side of the website for a moment before passing it over, his ears burning.</p><p>He settled on a video of a girl fucking her best friend's brother during a sleepover, then let the video start as he slipped his shirt off over his head and lifted his hips to get his joggers down his legs.  Once his clothing was situated, he settled back against the couch and accidentally pressed his arm to Noya's, who must've shifted closer without Tanaka noticing.</p><p>"Oh, sor—" he started, beginning to move away as usual, but Noya leaned against him just hard enough for Tanaka to know he didn't mind.  They didn't normally touch, that was one of their unspoken rules, but Tanaka supposed that rule had been broken on Wednesday so it didn't much matter anymore.</p><p>Noya's shoulder was a little bony where it pressed against the meat of his bicep, but the smaller boy radiated warmth.  It was kind of pleasant, feeling the heat and pressure of another body, and he'd always liked cuddling with Noya, even if the context of their current situation made it weird.  But if Noya didn't think it was weird, then Tanaka wouldn't either, so he turned his attention back to the laptop.</p><p>The intro played through, showing two young adult women giggling on a bed, and Tanaka began squeezing himself through the thin fabric of his boxers in anticipation.  The older brother burst in and the siblings had a petty argument before he disappeared.  The friend, a pretty girl with curly brunette hair, suggested that her friend's brother was hot, which the sister responded to with typical disgust.</p><p>Finally, the scene changed and the girls were asleep in bed.  Well, one of the girls was.  The brunette slipped out from under the covers and revealed that her pajamas were a matching set of skimpy silk shorts and tank top.  She sneaked out of the bedroom, down the hall, and into the brother's room.  He was asleep, so she crawled in behind him and cuddled up close, effectively waking him up.  She hushed him with a finger to his lips, and then after a few moments of heated and suggestive staring, they started making out.</p><p>A damp spot started to grow on the front of Tanaka's underwear as the couple onscreen threw the covers off and the girl climbed on top of the boy, legs straddling his hips.  They rocked together, moaning softly and shushing each other every now and then.  The boy slipped her tank top off and palmed at her small breasts, her nipples already hard.</p><p>They continued making out and slowly undressing, and the girl crawled down the boy's body, peeling his boxers down his thighs to free his waiting erection.  It was hard already, lying stiffly against his stomach, and she licked a long stripe from the base to the tip before lifting it with her hand and taking the head in her mouth.  Her lips stretched wide, and she closed her eyes in pleasure as she began to bob up and down.</p><p>Tanaka groaned quietly to himself as he slipped his hand under the waistband of his boxers, taking his swelling dick in his hand and giving it one long stroke.  He felt himself hardening under his touch, watching as the blowjob continued, and his grip grew slicker as he spread the precum along his length.</p><p>The brother reached down and lifted the girl's head up off his cock, and he sat up and brought their lips together, licking into each other's mouths with a fervent passion.  He then broke away to bestow licks and kisses to her small breasts, and she tipped her head back and moaned softly while gently rocking her hips against his thighs.</p><p>Taking her movements as a cue, he wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her again, then brought his other hand between her legs, pushing the fabric of the shorts aside to gain access to her.  He slipped a finger against her velvet folds, and she shuddered through their next kiss.</p><p>He continued pleasuring her, rubbing and petting and causing her to make all sorts of soft, pretty sounds, and Tanaka's limbs began to feel all fuzzy as he watched and stroked himself.  He looked down at his side, where Noya's arm was still pressed against his, and saw Noya's grip was already stronger than usual by this point.  He typically started with light touches and loose fingers, growing rougher as his arousal increased, but Noya had been really keyed up already when they began.</p><p>On screen, the girl was moaning and gasping as the boy fingered her.  Her thighs shuddered, and her volume increased with her pleasure, so the boy used his other hand to cover her mouth, muffling her slightly.  She opened her mouth to him, though, and he put his fingers inside, thumb resting on her jaw, and she panted and moaned around him.  Noya groaned and began jerking himself harder.  Tanaka's heart rate increased just from watching him.</p><p>The girl pushed lightly on the boy's chest, and he withdrew his hand and fell back against the pillows.  She climbed off him momentarily to remove her silk shorts, then returned to her earlier position, this time with his dick in hand and her hips poised to take him in.  He murmured encouragement as she stroked him, getting him back to full hardness, before she started teasing the head against her heat.</p><p>They both moaned when she finally slipped him inside, and her hands cupped her small breasts, tweaking at her nipples as she lowered herself down.  Tanaka dragged his hand over himself, the flesh sensitive and sending jolts of pleasure through his body.  The girl rode him, hips rocking and grinding with abandon, until the boy flipped them.  He spread her legs, throwing one over his shoulder, and plunged into her.  She cried out, and he covered her mouth with his hand once more, dipping his fingers against her tongue again.</p><p>Noya's pace was fervent, keeping up with the slap of skin on skin that was coming from the laptop's speakers.  The slick sounds of his hand on his erection were burrowing their way into Tanaka's ears, along with his breathy gasps and groans.  Then, suddenly, Noya groaned loudly, but out of frustration, not sexual pleasure.  He stopped his stroking and shook his hand out, then returned to his actions.</p><p>Tanaka slowed down his pace, watching Noya with concern.  His friend's shoulders were tense, his jaw set, and he had a look on his face like he was trying to figure out how to receive a particularly strong serve.  He gripped himself strong, twisting his hand around the head every time, then bared his teeth and groaned again, pulling his hand away once more.</p><p>"You—" Tanaka started, but stopped and cleared the roughness from his throat. "You okay?"</p><p>"My hand keeps cramping up," Noya growled, massaging the palm of it with the thumb of his left hand. "And my arm feels like it's gonna fall off, but I'm so fucking <em>close</em>," he muttered, rolling his wrist and shaking his arm.</p><p>Tanaka made a sympathetic noise, frowning gently and watching as Noya continued to try to get himself off.  He was being too impatient, too agitated, skipping over the things that usually drove him steadily toward his goal in favor of rushing toward the finish line.  Noya probably hadn't gone more than two days without an orgasm since he was in junior high, and it was making him reckless.</p><p>When Noya let out a sharp shout and pulled his hand off for a third time, Tanaka was lifting his own hand away from his erection before he even realized what he was doing.  With his breath caught in his throat, he shifted his arm and reached over.  He was just about to close his fingers around the base of Noya's cock when Noya asked, "What are you doing?"</p><p>Tanaka froze, his curled hand hovering in the air, close enough to feel the heat radiating off of Noya's shaft.  His heart leapt up into his throat, making speech difficult.  But Noya's voice hadn't sounded angry, merely confused and a little curious, so Tanaka cleared his throat and tried to form words.</p><p>"Ryuu?" Noya asked, and Tanaka felt him shift, knew that Noya was looking up at him with questioning eyes, but Tanaka couldn't lift his gaze from Noya's lap.</p><p>"N-Need a hand?" he asked.</p><p>Noya inhaled sharply, a sound that Tanaka knew well after weeks of their arrangement, and knew that Noya liked the idea.  Tanaka swallowed and gently wrapped his fingers around Noya's flushed arousal.  Neither of them were breathing, waiting in anticipation until Tanaka finally dragged his hand upward, and Noya let out a shuddery breath.</p><p>"You…you can tell me to stop," Tanaka managed to say, "if you want."</p><p>Noya shook his head, settling his hands on his stomach, still as a statue as Tanaka brought his hand back down.  His mind raced, trying to think of what to do next while trying not to think about what the fuck he was doing to his best friend.  He'd expected the possibility that he might someday interact with a penis that wasn't his own.  His sister had given him many lessons growing up on sexuality and gender diversity.</p><p>"Not all girls have vaginas," she'd told him magnanimously several years ago.</p><p>Tanaka had nodded vigorously, adding it to the list of Things Saeko Knows About that he kept in his head, which included facts such as "people who say black isn't a color are unenlightened" and "pizza is a balanced meal."  But he'd been ten years old and stupid at the time—well, he was still pretty stupid now—and he didn't quite realize she was referring to the spectrum of gender and variance in sex characteristics, and instead his mind jumped to black holes or second mouths.</p><p>The whole thing was resolved by the end of the week when he was sent home for "asking inappropriate questions" during health class.  Which Tanaka was still pissed about; where else was he supposed to ask those kind of questions if not during health class?  Saeko had laughed her ass off for about ten minutes before fully explaining what she had meant.</p><p>So ever since then, Tanaka had been prepared for the idea that he might meet and fall for someone who didn't fit the typical mold of what society said a girl should look like.  He even thought it might be easier if he did, since he himself had a penis and knew what to do with it, so it was like he already had experience.  But now that he was faced with it, now that he was gripping Noya's cock in his hand, he felt completely out of his depth.</p><p>Tanaka gritted his teeth, trying to refocus his thoughts, and reminded himself of what he'd observed in Noya over the past several weeks.  He loosened his grip and stroked gently, increasing the pressure around the head, pressing his thumb into the slit to spread the precum around.  Noya gasped, and it sent a rush of heat straight through Tanaka.</p><p>Moans came from the speakers of the laptop, and a cursory glance told him the couple had switched positions again.  The girl was on her knees, face pressed into a pillow as the boy fucked her, but Tanaka had other things to focus on.  Well, thing.</p><p>Noya's dick was different from his own, which was obvious and something he'd known for far longer than the weeks they'd been doing this, but it was one thing to be dimly aware of it and another thing entirely to have it in his hand.  He remembered Noya's cheeky comment that day he'd first walked in on him, about his dick being bigger than Tanaka had expected, and Tanaka had to admit that it was true.</p><p>Fully erect, it was just about as long as his, but not as wide around.  It had a nice curve to it, and the skin was smooth and velvety under Tanaka's hand.  It was almost…pretty, which was a thought Tanaka immediately banished from his mind.</p><p>He pressed the pads of his fingers harder against the underside of Noya's length as he stroked upward, and Noya let out a small wail.  Feeling emboldened and more confident, he repeated the action several more times, then pushed his thumb up against the ring of foreskin around the head.  He twisted his hand to stroke his thumb along the ridge until it was on the frenulum, where his pressed hard for a moment before bringing his hand back down.</p><p>Noya gasped and began to scratch lightly at his chest, which Tanaka knew was a good sign.  As he grew comfortable with his movements, he increased the speed and the pressure of his grip as Noya became more and more vocal.  His hand was slick around Noya's cock, stroking quickly now, and Noya's left hand was digging fingernails into his forearm while the other pinched at a nipple.</p><p>Tanaka's own erection was aching from being ignored, straining against the boxers he'd never taken off.  He slipped his left hand under the fabric and tried jerking himself off at the same time, but it threw off the rhythm he'd established with Noya's, so he settled for rutting against his palm as best he could.  He concentrated most of his grip around the head the way he'd seen Noya do many times before, knowing from the shuddery cries that Noya was getting close.  A flush of pride went through him as Noya panted and babbled and cursed, pride from the knowledge that he was the reason for Noya's pleasure.</p><p>Noya's legs started cycling gently, his heels dragging back and forth on the floor as he bent and straightened his legs.  His toes curled, and his abs and thighs clenched randomly, and Tanaka found himself holding his breath in anticipation.  Finally, with one last twist of his wrist, Noya cried out, fingers scratching across Tanaka's forearm as ropes of cum shot out from the head of his cock.</p><p>As Noya shuddered through his orgasm—head tipped back against the couch, vocal cords strained from the volume of his cries—Tanaka stroked him long and hard, squeezing from base to tip like he was trying to get every last drop out.  Bits landed on Noya's thighs and stomach, but most of it was on Tanaka's hand.  It was warm and sticky and creamy white, just like his own, but knowing it wasn't his made his jaw clench.</p><p>Finally, Noya's body went slack, and Tanaka gently released him.  He wanted nothing more in that moment than to clean up his hand, but his own arousal was almost painful at this point and wouldn't be ignored any longer.  Feeling gross, he used his left hand to wipe up the already-drying cum and took his erection in hand, returning his attention to the laptop.</p><p>The couple in the video was in yet another position. This time they were both lying on their side, the boy spooning the girl, and he held one of her legs up in the air by the knee as he pumped his cock in and out of her.  Her head was pillowed on her arm, her other hand lightly playing with her clitoris, her moans chorusing with his grunts of pleasure.  They clearly no longer cared about waking up the sister who was theoretically in the other room.</p><p>Tanaka gripped himself and began jerking hard, the porn movie mere background noise as his mind replayed the events from just moments earlier.  He remembered feeling the twitch and pulse of Noya's orgasm, which came from Tanaka's efforts, wrought by his hand, by <em>this </em>hand.  His arm still stung where Noya had clawed him, so overcome with the pleasure that Tanaka had given him that he couldn't control himself anymore.</p><p>Only moments passed before Tanaka was spilling over his own hand, grunting loudly as his orgasm wracked through his body.  Conscious thoughts left his mind, leaving behind only a pleasurable buzzing throughout his whole body.  He stroked himself through it until he was too stimulated and had to let go, allowing his brain to begin to reenter his skull.</p><p>When he was no longer among the clouds, he looked at the mess on his hands and legs and became fully aware of what he'd done, and a hot shame pulsed through him.  His stomach twisted itself into knots when he felt Noya's gaze on him from his right side.</p><p>"So," Noya said.</p><p>"So," Tanaka returned.</p><p>Noya's bony shoulder nudged his arm, and he forced himself to turn his head and meet Noya's eyes.  They stared at each other for a long moment, and Tanaka wondered what Noya was seeing in his gaze.  He was trying to keep a neutral expression, but he'd always been shit at disguising his emotions, so Noya was probably seeing all of Tanaka's doubt and fear plain as day on his face.  Noya, on the other hand, looked perfectly, frustratingly normal.</p><p>"Thanks for that," Noya said finally.</p><p>"Yeah, uh…no problem," Tanaka replied.</p><p>Noya stared at him a little while longer, as if waiting for him to say something else, but Tanaka's tongue was thick in his mouth, and anyway he didn't trust himself to speak even if he could.  He had no clue what might come out of his mouth.</p><p>"I'll get us towels," Noya said finally, rising to his feet.  He walked out of the living room, and Tanaka didn't realize he'd been staring at Noya's butt until it disappeared down the hall toward the bathroom.</p><p>Tanaka felt nauseous all of a sudden, and he wished he had hair just so he could pull it out.  He was half tempted to run his nails over his head to mimic the sensation, but his hands were covered in cum.  In his and Noya's cum.</p><p><em>Why did I do that?</em> he asked himself despairingly.  What had come over him?  Where did the urge come from?  He hadn't planned it, hadn't anticipated it, hadn't wanted it.  But Noya was struggling, he was in need of help, and Tanaka had always been the kind of person who liked to help others.</p><p>Helping.  That was what he'd done.  He'd just offered Noya a literal helping hand.  He was being a good bro, helping his friend get off when he needed to.  It was simple as that.  There was nothing complicated about it, nothing to think about, no deeper meaning.  He'd even been wearing his socks still.</p><p>"Here," Noya said, and Tanaka startled, looking up just in time to catch the dampened towel Noya had tossed at him.</p><p>He wiped his stomach first, then his hands, then rose to his feet.  His briefs were a mess: the crotch sported a large damp spot from where precum had been dripping unattended while he'd jerked off Noya, and droplets of cum were now drying into the fabric.</p><p>"Gonna change," he muttered, heading past Noya, who was pulling his jeans back on.</p><p>"Sure thing," Noya said. "Then more <em>Mario Kart</em>?"</p><p>Tanaka looked back at him, at Noya's bright hazel eyes and the bleached tuft of hair over his forehead and the rosy glow in his cheeks, and his chest ached sharply.  He appreciated Noya so fucking much.  Here he was, agonizing and anxious over what had just happened, and Noya was going about business as usual.  Noya wasn't judging him or treating him differently, and Tanaka just wanted to wrap him in a big bear hug.</p><p>But he was still mostly naked, and his briefs were stiff and uncomfortable, so instead he grinned and said, "Bet."</p><p>/ / /</p><p>Tanaka didn't jerk Noya off the next time they masturbated, which happened to be that very evening because Noya was still so keyed up, because that was a one-time thing.  It had been brought about by special circumstances, by a unique situation not likely to ever happen again, so therefore Tanaka wouldn't ever need to jerk Noya off again.  Not that he wanted to.  He definitely didn't want to.  And he definitely didn't maybe have a dream about it.</p><p>Which was why, when it didn't happen the next time after that, Tanaka didn't feel kind of sad about it.  He didn't pay particular attention to the way the woman in the porno stroked both hands up and down her partner's length.  He didn't study how she twisted her fingers this way and that, how she removed one hand to fondle his balls.  He didn't wonder what it felt like when she put her mouth over the head and sucked.</p><p>The time after <em>that</em>, though, maybe Noya had been taking more time than usual, with his shoulder pressed firmly into Tanaka's side.  And maybe Noya sighed heavily and let his legs fall open, one knee knocking against Tanaka's thigh, and maybe Tanaka had reached over and nudged Noya's hand out of the way.  And maybe—<em>just maybe</em>—when Tanaka curled his fingers around his best friend's cock, Noya let out a pleased hum like he'd been waiting for this that sent an electric thrill up Tanaka's spine.</p><p>And maybe it had happened every time since for almost a week now.</p><p>And maybe there was no maybe, and it had all definitely happened.</p><p>Each time, Tanaka had told himself it was the last time.  Noya didn't need his help getting off.  There was no reason, no excuse, no defense.  This would be the last time, and then they would go back to normal, just jerking off next to each other.</p><p>Except then Noya would be <em>right there</em>, within reach, making keening noises and moans that Tanaka couldn't help but think sounded better when he was the reason for them.  And then when he finally gave in, when he reached over and gripped him with more confidence than the last time, Noya would sigh with relief, leaning into Tanaka as the pleasure came over him in waves.</p><p>So, okay, yeah, this was a thing.  Their arrangement had wordlessly shifted from Tanaka and Noya jerking off next to each other to Tanaka jerking Noya and then himself.  When you thought about it, though, it really made sense.  Someone else jerking you off had to feel better than jerking yourself off, so it only made sense that Noya would want Tanaka to keep doing it.  And Tanaka was a people-pleaser.  He liked to make people laugh, to make them feel good, and Noya was his best friend.  Of course he wanted to do something that would make Noya feel good.</p><p>But then, after the third time, Noya tried reciprocating.  Tanaka had been focusing on his own movements, ignoring the way his own dick ached for attention, when he felt Noya's left arm start to move.  It had been resting on the bed between their legs, fingers scratching lines of pleasure into the soft underside of his own thigh, but then it was moving, creeping upward, and Tanaka just knew its destination was between his own thighs.</p><p>Panic seized him, and he adjusted his grip so that his elbow pressed into his hip and his forearm was tight to Noya's thigh, effectively trapping Noya's arm between them.  Noya's head shifted, and Tanaka could feel his questioning gaze, but Tanaka stared firmly at the screen of his laptop.  Luckily, Noya didn't say anything, and after he came Tanaka took care of himself as quickly as possible in case Noya tried again.</p><p>His orgasm was good but ultimately disappointing, too rushed and forced and panicked for him to actually enjoy it.  Noya's hooded eyes tracked his hand's movements as he grabbed the prepared towels and wiped himself and then Noya.  He waited for Noya to say something.  Noya wasn't one to beat around the bush with this kind of thing, or any kind of thing.  He usually just up and said whatever was on his mind, tact be damned.  It was usually one of the things Tanaka loved about Noya, but he hoped beyond hope that Noya would just not say anything.</p><p>"Hey," Noya said as Tanaka picked his boxers up off the floor.</p><p>"Yeah?" Tanaka asked, eyes cast downward, hoping his voice came out normal.</p><p>"Can we go over the study materials for Japanese History again?  I'm not confident about the test tomorrow."</p><p>Pure, sweet relief flooded his system, and his shoulders sagged with it. "Yeah, sure," Tanaka said, smiling.</p><p>Noya's eyes met his, and they were soft and understanding, and Tanaka hoped that would be the end of it.  He hoped they would just continue this way, with Tanaka pleasuring Noya and then himself, until it inevitably ended.  When <em>would</em> it end?  Maybe when they graduated, maybe when Noya went to college, but Tanaka was planning on following him wherever he went, so maybe it would last until he or Noya got a partner.  Or maybe it would go on forever.</p><p>But because Noya was a loveably stubborn son of a bitch, he didn't let that be the end of it.  He tried again the next time, and the time after that, and the time after that.  Each time, Tanaka managed to pin Noya's arm so he couldn't move, or shifted his hips away so Noya couldn't reach, or left his underwear on.  Noya never put up much of a fight anyway because Tanaka was getting very good at getting him off, and the throes of his own pleasure quickly distracted him from Tanaka's.</p><p>Tanaka was desperate to keep this one-sided.  Friends who jerked off next to each other was one thing.  <em>Mutual masturbation</em> was the popular term.  Friends who jerked each other off was another thing.  The popular term for that was<em> friends with benefits</em>, and Tanaka had seen enough shitty romantic comedies to know that friends with benefits never worked.  It always ended up with romantic feelings getting in the way and either destroying the friendship or forming into a romance, neither of which Tanaka wanted to happen.</p><p>If Tanaka kept Noya from jerking him off, then they could stay in this gray area between mutual masturbation and friends with benefits.  They could keep doing what they were doing, which was great for the record.  Noya's orgasms seemed to be getting better and stronger, and Tanaka half got off just from seeing his pleasure.  There was no reason to change what they were doing.</p><p>But of course, Noya couldn't let it go, because he was as persistent as a dog with a bone, and things came to a head one Sunday evening, just over a week since the first time Tanaka had jerked him off.</p><p>They were on Noya's bed, sitting together with the pillows up against the wall, Tanaka's laptop before them playing a video of Noya's choosing.  Tanaka couldn't remember what the premise was anymore, too focused on Noya's flushed erection in his hand.  He swiped his thumb over the precum dribbling at the tip, twisted his hand sharply, then brought it back down.  Noya's moan was loud and broken, and Tanaka was almost too distracted by it to notice the fingers creeping up over his thigh.</p><p>Subtly, he tried pressing his forearm down as usual, but Noya pulled his arm away before Tanaka could pin it, and he blatantly reached for Tanaka's lap.  Grinding his teeth, Tanaka lifted his leg, bending it so he cut off Noya's reach and his hand came into contact with Tanaka's knee instead.  He hoped that would be the end of it and focused back on the handjob, dragging his fingertips up Noya's hardened length in the way he knew Noya liked, but Noya suddenly let out a groan that was decidedly not one of pleasure, swatting Tanaka's hand away and scooting out of reach.</p><p>Tanaka held his hand to his chest like it had been burned and stared at Noya in shock.  Noya was facing him, sitting with his hands on his knees and his legs folded underneath him, his erection standing distractingly at attention.  But what was even more distracting was the look on Noya's face: pinched, angry, and dark.</p><p>"What the fuck, Ryuu?" Noya snapped.</p><p>Tanaka stared at him, not sure what to say, not sure what he'd done wrong.  One of the men in the video let out a loud, keening moan, and Noya slapped the space bar so hard that Tanaka flinched.  Silence reigned in the bedroom, and all Tanaka could hear was his own blood rushing in his ears.</p><p>"Well?" Noya prompted.</p><p>"Was…" Tanaka swallowed against the dryness in his throat. "Was it not good?"</p><p>Noya rolled his eyes and threw his head back, dragging his fingertips down his face as he let out an exasperated groan. "No, you idiot, it was good.  Really fucking good.  It always is."</p><p>Tanaka tried not to preen at that.</p><p>"But why won't you let me do you?"</p><p>Tanaka choked, and Noya blushed.</p><p>"Not—not like that, you perv," Noya grumbled, and Tanaka chose not to point out the irony in Noya calling him a perv when they'd been watching porn and getting off next to each other for about a month now. "Why won't you let me jerk you off?"</p><p>"I…I, well—it's—w-why do you want to?" he stammered.</p><p>Noya shrugged. "Why wouldn't I?"</p><p>"Cause it's weird?"</p><p>"No weirder than what we're already doing," Noya pointed out, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>"But…but—"</p><p>"Look," Noya interrupted. "Do you not want me to because you really don't want me to?  Or is it because you're in your head about it?"</p><p>Tanaka shrugged and looked away, pulling his other leg up so he could put his hands around the backs of his knees and hug them to his chest, his softening erection resting against his thighs.  He stared at the tops of his knees, at the bruises that not even his kneepads could prevent.  How could he put the muddled anxieties roiling around his head into words?  How could he make Noya understand when he didn't even understand himself?</p><p>"Ryuu," Noya said softly, much closer than anticipated.</p><p>Tanaka turned his head to see that Noya was stretched forward on his hands and knees, his head tilted up slightly so that his eyes met Tanaka's.  His heart stuttered in his chest at heat in Noya's gaze, at the intimacy and single-minded focus that was being directed entirely at him.</p><p>"Ryuu, can I touch you?" Noya murmured.</p><p>It took a moment to reactivate his vocal cords. "You really want to?"</p><p>Noya rested his cheek against Tanaka's knee and nodded.</p><p>A wave of desire shot through him, strong and sharp, and he shuddered with the force of it.  He closed his eyes and nodded. "Go ahead," he said.</p><p>With his eyes closed, he didn't see Noya's expression when he agreed, but he imagined a wicked grin curving along Noya's pink lips.  He felt the bed shift as Noya drew closer, heard the <em>tap</em> of the keyboard and the moans as the video started up again, and then he felt calloused hands gently lower his legs back down to the bed, exposing his cock.</p><p>The vulnerability of this twisted his stomach, made him want to curl back up into a ball and hide from it all, but Noya was humming gently as he settled down next to Tanaka, pressing his shoulder into Tanaka's chest, and Noya's presence had always been a calming thing for Tanaka.  The anxiety that had created a vice grip on his heart began to loosen, even as he heard Noya spit into his palm.</p><p>Then Noya's hand picked up his dick and squeezed firmly at the base, and his eyes flew open.  He stared at Noya's small, slender fingers as they began to move up and down, startlingly exactly like they looked in his dreams.  As Noya coaxed him back to full hardness, it occurred to him that he should reach over and pleasure Noya too, except the way Noya was sitting had his right arm trapped between Noya's back and the wall.  He couldn't move, and even if he could he wouldn't be able to easily reach Noya's lap, and he wondered if Noya had done this on purpose, like some sort of revenge.</p><p>With nothing to do but feel, but to receive the pleasure Noya apparently wanted to give him, Tanaka forced himself to relax fully.  This close, he could smell the cinnamon from Noya's shampoo, and he breathed it in deeply, letting his eyes fall closed again as Noya's grip became more sure.  His breath hitched as Noya twisted his hand, and he felt Noya's fingers dance over the head of his cock before circling again and pulling back down his length, slow and methodical, the way Tanaka did it.  Warmth bloomed in his stomach as a thought occurred to him: maybe Noya had been watching him just as much as he'd been watching Noya.</p><p>Noya shifted beside him so his weight no longer pinned Tanaka's arm to the wall, but now he was stretched out, lying beside Tanaka with his hips tilted forward so Tanaka still couldn't reach.  He briefly let go of Tanaka to brace his left hand on the other side of Tanaka's hips, and he was now leaning heavily across Tanaka's lap as he wrapped his dominant hand around Tanaka's erection.  His strokes were more confident now, and he teased his thumb across the slit, spreading the precum around and drawing a shaky sigh from Tanaka's lungs.</p><p>Tinny moans came from the speakers of his laptop, but he tuned them out.  He wanted to focus on this, on the here and now, on Noya's torso blanketed across his lap and Noya's hand around his dick.  The farthest he'd ever gone with someone before now was some shy dry humping with the girlfriend he'd had for two months in his last year of middle school.</p><p>She'd broken up with him to focus more on school, and Tanaka had been sad for a day or two, but Noya had wisely told him that someday the right girl would be able to balance school and a relationship.  Plus, he'd always have the memory of the time she'd let him feel her up over her shirt while she brushed her hand lightly between his legs, so it wasn't like the relationship had been for naught.</p><p>But that was nothing like this.  All of his imaginings, all of his fantasies, couldn't compare to the real thing.</p><p>"Ah, fuck," Tanaka ground out, and his hand found Noya's side, which twitched under his touch, and he drew his fingers back and forth, tracing each of Noya's ribs, letting his nails scratch lightly.  Noya exhaled sharply, pressing back against Tanaka's fingers, so he dragged his nails more roughly over the skin.</p><p>"Ryuu," Noya whined. "You're breaking the rules."</p><p>Tanaka chuckled lightly. "What rules?"</p><p>"This is supposed to be my turn," Noya growled. "You're supposed to just enjoy it, not try to distract me."</p><p>"I am enjoying it," Tanaka insisted, dragging his thumb over the bumps in Noya's spine.</p><p>Noya shuddered out a sigh, then removed his hand. "Fine.  Be like that."</p><p>Tanaka was about to protest, about to apologize and promise to sit on his hands if that was what Noya wanted, but then Noya's hand gripped him around the base while the head of his cock was suddenly enveloped in a warm heat.  Tanaka's hips jolted in pleasure and shock, and Noya moved his left hand to press down on Tanaka's hip, a silent warning to stay still, and Tanaka felt certain he was dreaming.</p><p>Noya pulled his mouth off to swirl his tongue around the head, dipping momentarily into the slit—an action that had Tanaka gasping and grinding his head into the wall—before he took it into his mouth again.  The return of the wet warmth pulled a high-pitched moan from Tanaka's throat, and he <em>felt</em> Noya's pleased hum around his cock, which had him moaning again.</p><p>He was half-mindless with pleasure as Noya bobbed just slightly over the head of his dick, twisting his hand around the base.  Noya's hand by itself had been amazing, but <em>this?</em>  The slick drag of Noya's lips and tongue, the vibrations from Noya's pleased little noises, the rough friction of Noya's tongue where slid along his reddened flesh?  This was beyond compare.</p><p>It wasn't perfect, of course, but it wasn't like Tanaka really had anything to compare it to besides what he'd seen in porn.  Still, despite the couple times Noya's upper lip slipped and he nicked his teeth against Tanaka's dick, and despite the fact that Noya wasn't taking him in very deep, it was far better than anything he'd ever experienced.  And then Noya hollowed out his cheeks and began to really <em>suck</em>.</p><p>Tanaka didn't know what to do with his hands.  His motor skills were diminishing quickly, and he could no longer tease his fingers over Noya's back the way he had been earlier, so he settled for curling them over Noya's hip and pressing small circles into the bone, which drew a moan from his friend.  His left hand was curled tightly into the bedsheets at his side.  He didn't consider himself a vocal person, especially not compared to Noya, but he knew he was mumbling nonsense under his breath, driven to madness by the stimulation happening between his legs.</p><p>Noya pulled off and braced Tanaka's cock against his hand, then licked a stripe up from the base to the tip before covering it with his mouth again.  His head bobbed ever-so-slightly lower as he grew used to Tanaka's size and what he could comfortably do.  Heat was building quickly in Tanaka's gut, and as much as he kind of wanted this to last forever, he knew the end was coming soon.  The tip of his dick began to bump against the back of Noya's throat, and then he felt Noya's mouth and throat <em>flex</em> around him, and he was suddenly seized by his orgasm.</p><p>"F-fu-<em>fuck!</em>" he cried, hips spasming with the force of his pleasure.  Noya gagged in surprise and pulled off, but his hand kept stroking him through it.  Tanaka knew he'd fucked up, knew he'd broken some sort of code, but he couldn't worry about that right now, not with stars dancing in his vision and Noya murmuring encouragement.</p><p>As soon as the ecstasy began to subside, he sagged against the wall and uncurled his fingers where they'd curved like claws into Noya's hip.  Noya sat up, and Tanaka's arm fell back to his side as he waited for cognitive function to return to his body.  He heard the slick sounds of Noya jerking off beside him, and Tanaka wanted to tell him to stop, to wait, to let him, but the powers of speech were still lost to him.  So instead he reached out and scrabbled his dull fingernails against whatever he could reach, which happened to be Noya's thigh, and soon Noya was crying out, shoulders hunched as he spilled over his hand.</p><p>Silence punctuated by two pairs of heavy breathing stretched between them, and Tanaka dimly realized that the video had ended.  He wondered when it ended, for how long it had just been the two of them focused on each other, and panic began to claw itself up his throat.  What was this if the videos weren't the focus?</p><p>Noya groaned then, turning to look at Tanaka, and his face brought all of Tanaka's thoughts to a grinding halt.  Noya was glaring petulantly at him, but what stood out the most to Tanaka were the drops of cum that decorated his face: on his lips, on his cheek, on his forehead.  And then there were those on his left shoulder and collarbone that also clearly weren't from his own orgasm, which covered his hand and stomach instead.</p><p>"Fuckin' warn a guy next time, Ryuu," Noya growled.</p><p>"S-sorry," Tanaka said hoarsely, then brought his hand up to his face to hide his grin.</p><p>They started giggling at the same time, and Noya lost his scowl right when Tanaka stopped hiding his smile.  Noya used his clean hand to swat at Tanaka's knee, then he shut the laptop and scooted toward the edge of the bed.</p><p>"I'm gonna take a shower," he announced. "You want second?"</p><p>"Nah, I'll just grab a towel," Tanaka said, also getting off the bed to follow him to the bathroom. "I'm, uh, I really am sorry."</p><p>"It's fine," Noya said. "Just don't do it again."</p><p>Tanaka nodded fervently, the words <em>next time</em> and <em>again</em> rolling around in his head. "Have…have you ever done that before?"</p><p>Noya turned around to grin at him and walked backwards into the bathroom. "Nah, first time.  But would you have believed me if I said yes?"</p><p>Tanaka rolled his eyes. "No."</p><p>"Dick.  I'll still take it as a compliment that you had to ask, though," Noya said with a laugh as he turned toward the shower. "I did give a handjob once before."</p><p>This caught Tanaka by surprise, and his hand stilled as he reached for one of the hand towels on the bathroom shelf.  Behind him, Noya turned the water on, and the white noise of it matched the buzzing in his head.  He supposed he shouldn't be so surprised since he'd felt the need to ask if Noya had ever given a blowjob before, but it still caught him off guard to hear it confirmed.</p><p>He remembered the night Noya came out to him, how he'd felt when learning that there were things Noya sometimes kept from him.  He thought they'd told each other everything, he thought they'd been to the same bases and all, and here Noya was ahead of him and keeping secrets once again.</p><p>Tanaka shook his head and grabbed the hand towel he'd been reaching for.  Noya hadn't been out to him and therefore couldn't tell him he'd jerked off another guy without inviting even more questions about why and how that had happened.  It was Noya's business, and anyway they were well past that now.</p><p>"Sick, dude," Tanaka said, forcing a joviality into his voice that he didn't quite feel at the idea of Noya giving a handjob to some other guy. "When?  Anyone I know?" He silently prayed to any gods that were listening for it not to be Asahi.</p><p>"Ah, um, Yaku?  The Nekoma libero last year.  It happened at the big summer training camp."</p><p>"Got frisky at the training camp, huh?" Tanaka teased while privately wondering when Noya had the time to get frisky in the first place when they'd spent almost all their time together at that camp.  When he turned around he was pleased to see the tips of Noya's ears were red. "Damn, son, I'm proud of ya!"</p><p>Noya laughed. "Shaddup."</p><p>Tanaka chuckled too and turned to leave when Noya grabbed his wrist.  He stopped and looked back at Noya but immediately looked away again since his friend's face was still covered in his cum.</p><p>"Don't get in your head about this," Noya said, tugging once on Tanaka's wrist to emphasize his point. "It was fun, right?"</p><p>"Yeah," Tanaka said, but it was too quiet so he cleared his throat and repeated, "Yeah.  Yeah it was."</p><p>"Then that's all you need to think about it," Noya said.  He released him, turning toward the shower. "You need to go home tonight, right?  Wait for me.  I'll walk you."</p><p>"Sure," Tanaka agreed. "Have a good shower," he said quickly, then closed the bathroom door behind him, cutting off whatever response Noya gave.</p><p>And despite what Noya said, the second-thoughts began to storm in his mind.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Two bros, chilling watching porno, jerking each other off but it's not gay (except it really, really is)</p><p>See y'all next week! &lt;3</p><p> </p><p>Porn videos in this chapter:<br/>- M/F scene about a girl having sex with her best friend's brother while over for a sleepover.  The scene features fellatio, vaginal fingering, PIV penetrative sex<br/>- Mention of an M/F scene featuring a woman giving a hand/blowjob<br/>- Mention of an M/M scene in the background</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. These Four Walls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heads up: The second of three scenes with substance use is in this chapter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Luckily, that wave of anxiety-ridden paranoia hadn't lasted long.  In fact, he'd reasoned it all away before Noya had even shut the water off.</p><p>If this continued the way it was, which Tanaka had to admit he hoped it would, then it was definitely friends with benefits.  But Tanaka didn't really need to worry about the fact that friends with benefits never worked out because he and Noya weren't regular friends.  They were best friends.  The best of best friends.  The bro-iest bros to ever bro.  Nothing could tear them apart, so he didn't need to worry about it.</p><p>And as for why they were doing this when Tanaka was straight and Noya was pan but not interested in him, well, the answer was simply practice.  That's right.  It wouldn't hurt to know how to give a decent handjob if in the future he might date a trans or nonbinary cutie, and he also needed to learn how to not accidentally blow his load down his partner's throat.</p><p>His face burned, remembering Noya's surprised gag and the subsequent pissed expression.  Yeah, he was lucky that hadn't happened with someone he was actually dating.</p><p>Plus, this arrangement still had all the merits of the previous one: they were spending a lot of time together hanging out and they got to get off regularly, which was healthy for two young men!</p><p>Tanaka came to his conclusion with a satisfied nod, pulling his phone out to browse social media a few moments before Noya ended his shower.  True to his word, Noya walked him home after, and if he'd noticed Tanaka's good mood then he hadn't said anything, although maybe he'd been smiling a bit wider and hugged Tanaka extra tight at the doorstep.</p><p>The following afternoon, Tanaka didn't even second guess himself when he reached over a few minutes into the video and put his hand over Noya's.  And he didn't shift away when Noya reached over as well, which earned him a grin and a some stimulating attention to his balls.</p><p>They shifted into their new routine with surprising ease.  Pretty much every time now they would both stroke each other to completion, and sometimes Noya wouldn't even wait for Tanaka to be hard before he'd reach over and start rubbing Tanaka over his boxers.  And, on the good days, Noya would bend over and blow him.</p><p>The blowjobs were Tanaka's favorite.  He didn't <em>dis</em>like the handjobs, of course, but the blowjobs were like a special treat.  He wasn't sure what made some days blowie days and others not—if it was something Tanaka did or if Noya was just going on whims like he did with most things in his life—but whenever Noya shifted to put Tanaka's arm around him so he could lean over and press his lips to Tanaka's swollen cock, Tanaka always felt like he'd won something.</p><p>Plus, after the first time, Noya had stopped angling his body so Tanaka couldn't reach him while he worked his mouth over Tanaka's dick, so Tanaka was usually able to hang his arm over Noya's side and reach between his thighs.  Then Noya would moan, loud and unabashed as usual, but unlike usual he had Tanaka's erection in his mouth and the vibrations always had Tanaka's toes curling.</p><p>The new arrangement was easy, fun, and without any of the strange intimacy from that first time, which Tanaka was grateful for.  The memory of Noya's gentle, coaxing hands and his soft whispers caused goosebumps to rise on Tanaka's skin if he thought about it too much, so he didn't.  He just focused on keeping it easy-going and casual, and Noya's uncomplicated approach to everything in life made it that much simpler.</p><p>Sometimes they made it a competition to see who could get who off first.  Giving and receiving pleasure at the same time was certainly something they couldn't quite get used to, and they both had to frequently refocus themselves on the task at literal hand.  Tanaka usually won their little competitions, but Noya blamed that on the fact that he typically sat on Tanaka's right, and therefore Tanaka was able to use his dominant hand.  Tanaka didn't let that comment diminish his victorious spirit, but Noya always won when he blew Tanaka, something he was incredibly smug about.</p><p>The days turned into weeks, and September turned into October, and the school year continued on as school years always did.  Their third year classes really weren't messing around, increasing their homework and tests, not to mention the fact that they were still supposed to be prepping for college entrance exams.  All the extra work was really beginning to cut into their<em> quality time</em>, as they'd begun to call it.And, with the Miyagi Prefectural Spring Qualifiers drawing ever closer, Ukai began enforcing weekend, morning, and afternoon practices.</p><p>Before they could go on to kick ass at Qualifiers, though, there was one very important matter at hand: Nishinoya Yuu's eighteenth birthday.</p><p>"I'm just saying," Tanaka continued, adopting a nonchalant air to his voice as he draped an arm over Ennoshita's shoulders, "that if you managed to convince Ukai to move Saturday's morning practice to the afternoon, it has a higher chance of being more productive."</p><p>He, Ennoshita, and Noya were all in the clubroom after practice together on Monday evening, and they were the last ones to leave since they'd done all of the cleanup chores.  It was actually supposed to be Ennoshita and first year wing spiker Kirabu Mamoru's turn, but Tanaka and Noya offered to stay behind instead.  Mamoru was joyous at the prospect of an early evening and didn't question it, but Ennoshita had been shooting them suspicious looks all evening.</p><p>To be fair, their captain had plenty of reasons to be suspicious, first and foremost that Tanaka and Noya <em>never</em> volunteered for extra chore duty.  That aside, the pair also been model players for the entirety of practice: they didn't mess around, didn't interrupt any of Ukai's lectures, and they didn't distract or rile up any of the other rather excitable players on the team.</p><p>Tanaka and Noya rarely showed this level of self-discipline, and it only came about when they really wanted something.  And right now what Tanaka wanted was a raging Friday night birthday party for the best damn libero in all of Miyagi.</p><p>"Qualifiers are in just under three weeks," Ennoshita said, leveling an unimpressed look at his vice-captain.</p><p>"We know!" Tanaka exclaimed. "And the team's been working their asses off.  Have you seen my jump serve lately?  I think it could compare with Oikawa's last year, honestly."</p><p>Noya—the absolute traitor—sniggered, and Ennoshita raised his eyebrows.</p><p>"Okay, okay, maybe not <em>Oikawa</em>, but it's fucking good, right?" Tanaka insisted. "And I'm not saying we <em>cancel</em> practice.  God forbid.  I'm just saying that it'll be a better practice if it's pushed back to the afternoon."</p><p>"Because you're planning on being hungover," Ennoshita said bluntly, shrugging off Tanaka's arm to bend over and reach for his gym bag.</p><p>"Well, hopefully the whole team will be hungover," Tanaka replied with a grin.</p><p>"I don't know if, as captain and vice-captain, we should be setting this kind of example for the first years," Ennoshita pointed out. "Underage drinking, staying up late, prioritizing partying over school and practice—"</p><p>"It'll be great stress relief!" Tanaka interrupted. "And team bonding!  You're always going on about how we need to be better mentors to the firsties.  This way we can get to know them better outside of volleyball!"</p><p>Ennoshita glared at him, but it was without heat.  Noya stretched up on his toes to get Ennoshita's attention, and he grinned once the captain finally looked at him.</p><p>"Half the team's already committed to going," Noya said, a wickedly mischievous tone to his voice. "So it's either have a morning practice with a team that'll be hungover and sleep-deprived, or have an afternoon practice so everybody has the chance to grab a few more z's."</p><p>Ennoshita sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping. "I don't know how Daichi put up with this shit."</p><p>Tanaka clenched his jaw to resist smiling, trying not to appear too hopeful until Ennoshita fully gave in.</p><p>"Why can't you guys wait until after Qualifiers?" Ennoshita asked, rubbing his forehead with the fatigue of a forty-year old man.</p><p>"Cause we're having another party after we win," Noya replied.</p><p>Ennoshita rolled his eyes. "Don't jinx it."</p><p>"Of course not!" Tanaka agreed.</p><p>"Knock on wood!" Noya exclaimed, and he and Tanaka reached to bump their knuckles against the other's head at the same time.</p><p>"Hey!" they yelled at each other before devolving into a half-assed wrestling match that Tanaka very quickly won, securing Noya into a head lock and crushing his gelled hair.</p><p>"Fine, fine, fine," Ennoshita groaned. "I'll talk to Ukai.  No promises that he'll agree, but I will talk to him."</p><p>Tanaka released Noya and they both cheered, then grabbed for their gym bags and followed Ennoshita out onto the club building balcony.</p><p>"You know, you could've just asked him yourselves," Ennoshita pointed out as he fished the keys out of his pocket.</p><p>"Nah, he says no to us on principle," Tanaka said.</p><p>"I wonder why," Ennoshita grumbled, locking the door and jiggling it for good measure. "Now please go home and study."</p><p>Go home, they did.  Study, they did not, and the feeling of Noya's hot mouth around him was the highlight of a damn good day.</p><p>/ / /</p><p>True to his word, Ennoshita talked to Ukai at morning practice the next day, and because Ukai had once been a teenage adolescent full of too much energy and bad ideas, he saw the sense in pushing practice back to the afternoon.  And with that final piece of the puzzle, the stage was set for what was sure to be a fucking awesome party.</p><p>Noya's actual birthday was on Thursday, and the four of them—just Tanaka, Noya, Saeko, and Katsumi since Tanaka and Saeko's dad was away for work—celebrated by going out for barbecue after practice let out.  They then spent the rest of their evening as well as Friday after school cleaning and preparing Noya's house for the party.</p><p>All valuables and breakables were stashed and locked in Katsumi's room.  A rockin' party playlist was queued up on Tanaka's phone, which was synced to the speaker system in the living room.  A buffet of snacks was laid out on the kitchen counter.  Saeko had provided alcohol in exchange for countless favors and all of Tanaka's saved-up allowance.  And since their dad was out of town, Saeko had invited Katsumi over for a girls' night, which meant the boys had the Nishinoya residence all to themselves.</p><p>"Please be smart," Katsumi said as she grabbed her overnight bag from where she'd set it in the hall.</p><p>"We will," they replied, hovering about her like herding dogs.</p><p>"I put condoms in the bathroom."</p><p>"Kaa-san!" Noya exclaimed, scandalized. "This isn't a…a <em>sex</em> party!"</p><p>She gave him a look. "Well I sure hope so, but I know what teenagers are like, Yuu.  I'll have you know I used to be one.  And I hope they're not used, but I'd rather have them available than not.  That's part of being smart, you know."</p><p>"Ugghhhh," Noya groaned, dragging his hands over his face, but she paid no mind to his embarrassment.</p><p>"Don't drink too much, don't break anything, don't burn the house down," she continued, going to the genkan to slip on her shoes. "If anything goes wrong—and I mean <em>anything</em>—don't hesitate to call.  Whatever punishment you’re scared of will be much worse if you don't call for help when someone needs it."</p><p>"We promise, Nishinoya-san!" Tanaka said earnestly.  Beside him Noya nodded enthusiastically, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet.</p><p>Katsumi looked at them, giving each a long hard stare to make sure her warnings were truly heard, and then her face broke into a smile.  Tanaka loved it when she smiled.  When she did, he could really see Noya in her, in her slightly crooked lower teeth and the tiny dimple on her right cheek and the shine of her hazel eyes.</p><p>"Okay, okay, I'll get out of your hair," she said, then grinned. "Well—" She reached up and rubbed Tanaka's bald head, freshly shaved by Saeko that very morning before school, and they all laughed.</p><p>"Have fun," Noya told her.</p><p>"Oh I will," Katsumi replied, smiling widely. "I haven't had a sleepover in <em>ages!</em>  We're gonna paint our toenails and gossip and watch trashy movies.  Ha, I feel seventeen again."</p><p>"You look seventeen, Nishinoya-san," Tanaka complimented, and Noya elbowed him, rolling his eyes playfully.</p><p>Katsumi laughed and pinched Tanaka's cheek, then took Noya's chin in her hand and kissed him on the forehead. "Happy birthday, baby."</p><p>"Thanks, Kaa-san."</p><p>She turned and kissed Tanaka on the forehead too, stretching up on her tiptoes to do so, then went to the front door and pulled it open. "I love you boys!"</p><p>"We love you too!" they chorused, and she gave them one last smile before disappearing through the doorway.</p><p>As soon as the latch <em>clicked</em>, Noya turned to Tanaka, still bouncing eagerly on his toes. "D'you wanna?" he asked.</p><p>Tanaka checked his phone. "We only have an hour before people start showing up."</p><p>"So get me off fast," Noya said, latching his hands around Tanaka's wrist and yanking him down the hall to Noya's bedroom.</p><p>"That's not a very good birthday present," Tanaka replied casually even though his heart was suddenly going a kilometer a minute.</p><p>"You'll make it up to me," Noya said and offered an easy grin over his shoulder before he pushed open the door to his bedroom.</p><p>Tanaka's cheeks went up in flames, and he coughed subtly into his hand as an excuse to cover his face.  Luckily Noya had turned his back to him to start stripping his clothes, so Tanaka had a few moments to regain his composure.  He pulled his laptop out from his sleepover bag and set it on the bed as Noya clambered on.</p><p>"Your turn, right?" Noya asked.</p><p>"I cede my turn to the birthday boy," Tanaka said, giving him a mock bow.</p><p>"Birthday <em>man</em>," Noya corrected, even though he wouldn't legally be an adult until twenty.</p><p>"Birthday man," Tanaka agreed, then pulled his clothes off too.</p><p>To his amusement, Noya had selected a video titled "Birthday Surprise."  It was a gay porn, which Noya chose every now and then because it didn't bother Tanaka at all, no sir.  The plot wasn't anything spectacular—not that porn plots usually were—but this one was particularly cheesy.  The birthday boy in this video got a surprise <em>package</em> delivered by a deliveryman who mysteriously wouldn't move the box away from his pelvic region.  When the man lifted the lid of the box, a thick cock was waiting for him.</p><p>"For me?" the birthday boy asked, gasping dramatically and looking up at the deliveryman.</p><p>Tanaka's snort of laughter turned into a sharp inhale when Noya's fingers slipped under the waistband of his boxers.  He usually wasn't this fast or this forward, but Tanaka supposed they were running on limited time, so he licked his palm and reached for Noya's dick.</p><p>They worked quickly, hitting all the sweet spots and pleasure points they'd memorized over the past couple weeks.  Sometimes Tanaka wished he could try some other tricks he'd read about, like going two-handed or getting the balls more involved, but that would require different positions and angles.  And if they weren't sitting next to each other with the laptop between them, then this friends-with-benefits-of-just-getting-off-together thing would become a friends-with-benefits-of-actually-having-sex-together thing, which just couldn't happen.</p><p>So Tanaka settled for one-handed to-the-side handjobs, which he felt he was getting pretty damn good at, so he didn't really feel like Noya was missing out.  And, judging from Noya's moaning and panting, Noya didn't seem to think he was missing out either.</p><p>Noya's sounds were often the best part of this, honestly.  Tanaka half got off just from hearing Noya moan his name or praise him, from knowing that he was the reason for Noya's ecstasy.  He'd always liked making people happy, and Noya was his best friend, so Noya's happiness was extra important to him.</p><p>"<em>Fuck</em> yeah, Ryuu," Noya whined, hips rocking just slightly with Tanaka's movements.</p><p>Tanaka grinned, tightening his grip and dragging his thumb down the thick vein on the side of Noya's dick.  Noya moaned, his hand twitching around Tanaka's own cock, and then he was shoving Tanaka's arm around and leaning over and—</p><p>"Ohhhh shit," Tanaka breathed, taking a moment to savor the wet suction of Noya's mouth as he slid it along Tanaka's length.</p><p>Noya hummed happily, causing Tanaka to curse under his breath again as he drew his hand over Noya's side, resuming his efforts over Noya's erection.  His other hand found its way into Noya's hair, curling into the not-yet-gelled strands, and Noya pulled off Tanaka's dick with a <em>pop</em> and a breathy curse.</p><p>"Sorry, I—" Tanaka said, withdrawing his hand, but Noya tilted his head back as if chasing it.</p><p>"No, do it," Noya said, his voice a little throaty and rough.  He leaned his head back against Tanaka's chest, looking straight up at him with hazel eyes overtaken by pupils blown wide. "I liked it."</p><p>Tanaka's cock twitched, and he nodded silently, waiting for Noya to lean forward again before he slid his fingers back into Noya's hair.  He loved Noya's hair.  It was surprisingly soft despite all that Noya did to it, which was likely thanks to the hair care routines and products that Saeko had been recommending to him for the past few years.  He carded his fingers through it a couple times, enjoying the feeling some before tightening his hold and tugging just a bit.</p><p>Noya moaned, and the vibrations had Tanaka's abs clenching.  He kept a steady grip on Noya's hair, pulling only slightly, not enough to direct Noya's head or obstruct his movements, just to exert the pressure that Noya apparently liked.  Noya showed his appreciation by bobbing eagerly over Tanaka's dick, slurping and moaning obscenely as he went.</p><p>Tanaka had to work hard to keep his concentration, to keep a steady rhythm pumping over Noya's erection.  He closed his eyes, trying to focus solely on his right hand and ignore the building heat in his gut.  The grip he had on Noya's hair helped to ground him, and he repeatedly twisted the tight circle of his fingers over the head of Noya's cock.  Noya's rhythm began to falter slightly, and Tanaka grinned.  He increased his speed, and Noya started twitching.  Then he twisted his fingers sharply in Noya's hair, and Noya came with a cry.</p><p>His friend's body went rigid in his lap, and Tanaka slowly uncurled his fingers from Noya's hair, still stroking over his sensitive flesh, driving the orgasm through him.  Noya's cries were broken and high-pitched, little keening wails that sent shivers up Tanaka's spine, especially since his dick was still right in front of Noya's face, bumping against his nose every now and then.</p><p>Finally Noya went limp, his head falling forward so that his nose nestled in the dark pubic hair surrounding the base of Tanaka's dick.  Tanaka grinned and lightly stroked his hand over Noya's side, watching as goosebumps rose on the pale skin.  He was happy to wait as his friend came back down from the clouds, especially since he'd won despite Noya blowing him.</p><p>"Happy birthday to me," Noya muttered a few minutes later, slowly lifting his head. "Ryuu, that was awesome."</p><p>"I won," Tanaka said happily, then inhaled shakily as Noya nibbled lightly up his shaft.</p><p>"Don't be an ass," Noya warned. "It's my fucking birthday."</p><p>"Your birthday was yesterday, and I just got you an awesome orgasm, so you're welcome," Tanaka retorted.</p><p>Noya growled playfully, then spread his lips around Tanaka's erection, tonguing at the smooth head while he wrapped his hand around the base and moved it quickly up and down.  He sucked enthusiastically, concentrating all the pressure at the tip while his hand took care of the rest.  The pleasant buzzing that preceded an orgasm was coming on strong now.</p><p>"C-close," he choked out, because he and Noya had both learned their lesson about coming unexpectedly down someone's throat.</p><p>He expected Noya to pull off, to stroke him the rest of the way through it, but he didn't.  Noya just moaned and sucked and pumped until finally Tanaka came, his fingers once again winding through Noya's hair as he shuddered through a thoroughly mind-blowing orgasm.  Noya kept his mouth on him the whole time, slurping lewdly, and Tanaka felt some cum dribble out and down his cock, but mostly it felt like Noya had swallowed it all.</p><p>Tanaka somehow managed to keep his bleary eyes open, watching as Noya finally withdrew, but not before licking Tanaka clean, and when Noya turned to face him and grin, Tanaka was struck by a sudden urge to kiss him.  He bit down hard on his tongue to curb that impulse.  The hormones were to blame for that, surely.  His brain was just drugged up on an orgasm, and he wasn't thinking clearly.</p><p>"Happy birthday to me," Noya said again, grinning wickedly.</p><p>"You swallowed?" Tanaka croaked.</p><p>Noya shrugged. "Wanted to see what it was like.  What it's <em>really</em> like, anyway, not like the first time."</p><p>"Right, right," Tanaka said, nodding.  He pursed his lips, then asked, "And?"</p><p>"It was good," Noya said, looking away.  His cheeks turned red, and Tanaka was glad Noya had turned his eyes away because he was sure his face was red too.</p><p>"Oh, uh, good," Tanaka said.</p><p>A silent pause turned into a beat turned into a moment, and then Tanaka's mind was racing, trying to come up with something to say while ignoring the downward spiral of thoughts telling him, <em>you took it too far, you made it weird, he's not gonna want to do this anymore, you fucked it all up</em> when suddenly his phone buzzed.</p><p> </p><p><b>Yamaguchi Tadashi</b>: Tsukki and I are on our way!!</p><p> </p><p>"We should get dressed," Tanaka said, showing Noya the phone.</p><p>"Oh right," Noya said, then climbed off the bed to collect his clothes. "Hey, good timing!"</p><p>It was true.  They had just over twenty minutes to spare.  Yamaguchi was just a stickler for being on time.</p><p>Tanaka closed the laptop—the video had ended some time ago without their noticing—and pulled his boxers back on, then reached for his jeans, his mind buzzing slightly.  He looked over to see Noya tugging one of his favorite idiom shirts over his head, muscles flexing under the skin.  When Noya's head popped out from the collar, his hair was all flattened into his face, and he unsuccessfully tried to blow the bangs out of his eyes.  Tanaka laughed and ignored the weird ache in his chest.</p><p>"So, uh, what's it like?" Tanaka asked.</p><p>"What's what like?" Noya returned, wandering down the hallway to the bathroom to start gelling his hair up.</p><p>Tanaka followed, slipping his shirt on as he went.  Once they were both standing in front of the mirror, Tanaka answered by way of a rude gesture and his tongue in his cheek.</p><p>Noya laughed. "Oh, giving head?  It's, uh…huh.  I don't know," he mused, reaching for the bottle of gel and squirting a generous amount into his hand. "Why do you wanna know?"</p><p>"I don't!" Tanaka snapped, his face burning as he snatched Noya's deodorant off the counter and slipped it under his shirt.  Noya just laughed again.</p><p>"Okay, big guy," he said sarcastically.  He smiled as he expertly shaped his hair into its wild upright spikes. "It's nice.  More intense than with just my hand.  It's the combination of it all that really gets me, I guess.  Like, I can feel, taste, and smell everything all at once.  It's hard to breathe, and it makes my jaw hurt, but I really like it."</p><p>Tanaka nodded and tried carefully to ignore that Noya was specifically referencing his experience with Tanaka's own dick and saying that he really liked it.  He wasn't quite sure what to say next, and he could feel Noya's eyes watching him in the mirror's reflection, but he was once again saved by his phone buzzing.</p><p> </p><p><b>Ohara Satoshi</b>: wats the address again?  seiki got us lost</p><p> </p><p>He laughed when his phone went off again.</p><p> </p><p><b>Seiki Michio</b>: We are NOT lost<br/><b>Seiki Michio</b>: Ohara's a dirty liar<br/><b>Seiki Michio</b>: I'm just taking a long detour</p><p> </p><p>Tanaka chuckled and texted Satoshi back with the address, imagining Michio's pissed expression.  The first year setter sometimes emulated Kageyama to a frightening degree.</p><p>"First years are on the way," he told Noya as he slipped the phone back into his jeans pocket.</p><p>"Oh good!" Noya said, reaching for his toothbrush in the cup on the counter.</p><p>"I'll get the playlist started," Tanaka said. "Then you wanna take your first birthday shot?"</p><p>"Hell yeah!" Noya exclaimed. "Party city, here we come!"</p><p>A couple hours later, the party was fully under way.  The house was fairly dark, only lit by the string lights they'd hung up and some dim table lamps.  Music thumped from the speakers in the living room, often drowned out by raucous laughter and excited screams.  The air smelled like sweat and the sweetness of alcohol, and there was a body to bump into almost everywhere you turned.</p><p>Tanaka loved it.  He loved the joyful camaraderie of parties, of everybody letting loose and enjoying themselves.  He loved being pulled in to play stupid drinking games, loved standing to the side and people-watching, loved the way that the booze made his limbs all buzzy and his problems seem far, far away.</p><p>He wandered through the crowd, flitting from conversation to conversation, playing up the part of a good host.  He scooped up empty cups and tossed them into one of the several trash cans he'd placed strategically around the house.  He checked on the drinks and the food, making sure there was always plenty of both, and he kept an eye on Noya, to make sure the man of the hour was always having a good time.</p><p>Right now there was a small crowd around the foldable dining table they'd pulled out for drinking games.  They were playing Rage Cage, which was the source of most of the shouting and laughing.  Several people were dancing in the space they'd cleared in the living room, some were sitting around and chatting, some were hovering over the snacks in the kitchen.  A few people were lounging on the back porch, enjoying the cold fresh air.</p><p>There were more people than Tanaka had expected—somewhere over thirty—but neither he nor Noya were complaining about it.  It made the party more lively, and anyway he'd just invited the team and his and Noya's classmates and told them to bring whoever else they wanted.  He was glad they followed through.</p><p>Since the team was lame and hardly hung out with anybody outside of volleyball, they didn't contribute much to the crowd, but their classmates had invited a few more people, and Yachi brought almost the whole girls' volleyball team with her, although Tanaka was pretty sure the team had just been an excuse for her to invite the pretty middle blocker he thought she had a crush on.  Of his and Noya's upperclassmen, only Asahi was able to show up since he wasn't in university, and Noya had immediately launched himself onto Asahi's shoulders once he'd spotted their former ace, and Tanaka tried not to feel a type of way about it.</p><p>Loud cheering drew his attention, and he saw the Rage Cage crowd egging Noya on as he downed the beer in the center cup, having apparently lost.  He crushed the plastic cup in his hand with a wide grin when he finished, then the group began to dissolve somewhat as they decided what game to play next.  Someone suggest Takenoko Takenoko Nyoki Ki, and people began to leave or join depending on if they wanted to play.</p><p>Tanaka watched with amusement as Hinata dragged Kageyama to the living room in an effort to get his boyfriend to dance with him.  Hinata threw his arms around Kageyama's neck, causing the setter to stoop over awkwardly as he tried to decide where to put his hands.</p><p>The rest of his team was scattered about.  He'd last seen Ennoshita chatting with Asahi out on the back porch.  Kinoshita and Narita were making gross drink combinations in the kitchen and daring each other to consume them.  It was especially good to see them since they'd left the team after the Interhigh, as was usually expected of third years.  Ennoshita, Tanaka, and Noya were just too stubborn to quit yet.</p><p>Tsukishima was one of the people hovering over the snacks, seemingly content to be on his phone the whole time while Yamaguchi sat in the living room and talked to some of the first years, who nervously clutched plastic cups in their hands and looked too scared to drink from them.  He spied Yachi across the room twirling a lock of hair around her finger as she stared starry-eyed up at the middle blocker, intently listening to whatever the tall girl was saying.</p><p>Something poked Tanaka in the ribs, and he looked down to spy Noya smiling up at him.</p><p>"Ryuuuu!" he sang, wrapping his arms around Tanaka's middle and propping his chin against Tanaka's sternum. "You havin' fun?"</p><p>"Hell yeah," Tanaka replied, sweeping his fingers across Noya's forehead to unstick the sweaty bangs. "How ya doing?  Need any water?"</p><p>"Mmmm, prob'ly," Noya mumbled, turning his face down to press his nose into Tanaka's chest.</p><p>Tanaka chuckled and patted the back of Noya's head, careful not to mess up his friend's hair on his big day.  Then he gently removed Noya's arms and spun him around.</p><p>"I'll get us water.  You go try to teach Kageyama how to dance so Hinata doesn't break up with him," Tanaka said, bent over so he could speak directly into Noya's ear instead of shouting.</p><p>"Shouyou!" Noya called, jumping over toward the team's dynamic duo.  He pulled Hinata into a hug, but did so around Kageyama so the setter was trapped between the two shorter boys.  Kageyama's indignant squawk was loud enough to be heard over the music, and Tanaka laughed to himself as he turned toward the kitchen.</p><p>Sure enough, Tsukishima was in the same place Tanaka had last seen him: leaning against the counter, phone in one hand with the other in the popcorn bowl.</p><p>"You good, Tsukki?" Tanaka asked.</p><p>The blond gave a noncommittal grunt and Tanaka grinned.  He reached over and stole a handful of popcorn, shoving it into his mouth before turning toward the fridge and pulling out the water pitcher.  Once he filled two plastic cups and refilled the pitcher, he went back into the living room.</p><p>The makeshift dance floor was fuller than it had been a minute ago, likely due to the speakers blasting the new poppy song that the charts were losing their minds over right now.  Loud, offkey singing filled the air once the chorus started, and Tanaka had to wiggle his way through the crowd to try to find Noya.</p><p>Finally he spied his friend at the center of a circle of girls.  There were five of them, all dancing close, and he saw that Noya's eyes were closed as he swayed back and forth with a stupid, happy-drunk smile on his face.  One girl reached out and trailed a hand down Noya's chest, and his eyes flew open and his smile got wider.  Tanaka tried not to crush the cups in his hands.</p><p>He sipped from his cup instead and extricated himself from the dancing crowd, plopping down on the couch next to Shibata Sanji, Noya's libero protégé.  Hasegawa Eiji was on Sanji's other side, followed by Kirabu Mamoru and then Yamaguchi.  He looked around trying to find the last two first years, Michio and Satoshi, and saw them among the drinking game crowd at the dining table.</p><p>"Water?" he offered, holding Noya's cup out to Sanji.</p><p>"Thanks!" Sanji said, taking the cup and downing a big gulp.</p><p>Tanaka drank some water from his own cup and leaned back against the couch, watching the writhing group of bodies in front of him.  Kageyama and Hinata were still dancing, though much less awkwardly now.  Hinata had his eyes closed, arms loose around Kageyama's neck with his head against Kageyama's chest.  They rocked back and forth too slowly for the beat of the song, but they didn't look like they minded.  None of his other teammates were dancing, but he recognized some of his classmates mingling with the volleyball girls and other guests.</p><p>Too soon, his eyes found Noya once more.  The circle of girls had dissolved, leaving Noya dancing with the one girl who'd touched him earlier.  Their hips swung in tandem to the music, with one of his legs between hers, and his hands were planted firmly on her waist.  Her <em>bare</em> waist, because she was wearing a crop top.</p><p>The warm buzzy feeling that the alcohol had caused in him instantly turned to ice.  He stood up abruptly and ignored whatever question Yamaguchi asked in favor of leaving the living room as quickly as possible.  Weaving through the crowd was easier than it had been earlier, probably because he wasn't searching for a mobile person but rather a fixed destination.</p><p>When he reached the back porch, he slid open the glass door and welcomed the cold October air that hit his face.  It instantly began to clear the drinking-induced haze in his mind.  When he closed the door behind him, bringing the booming music down to a dull <em>thumpa-thump</em>, he felt like he could finally breathe again.</p><p>"Hey Tanaka," Ennoshita said, raising his soda in greeting.  The fucker really brought an old-fashioned Coke bottle and had been nursing it all night, refusing to touch any alcohol.  He probably just wanted to lord over their hungover asses at practice tomorrow.</p><p>Asahi waved too, and Tanaka walked over to lean against the porch railing next to where Asahi stood.  The other classmates who'd been out here had left, so it was just the three of them.</p><p>Tanaka closed his eyes and breathed in deep through his nose, then let it out his mouth.  He felt somewhat nauseous, and his stomach was churning, but he didn't think he could blame it on the booze.  It had something to do with Noya and the girl, but that was stupid.  He should be happy for his friend.  It was Noya's eighteenth birthday party and he was getting danced up on by some gorgeous girl.  It was everything he'd wanted for Noya since they were thirteen years old.</p><p>"You okay?" Ennoshita asked.</p><p>"It's cold as balls out here," Tanaka hissed in response, rubbing his arm with his free hand, still clutching the plastic cup of water in the other.</p><p>His friends, who were both wearing jackets like the lameass middle-aged men they secretly were on the inside, looked at each other and shrugged.</p><p>"What are you doing out here?" Asahi asked. "I thought you'd be the life of the party."</p><p>"Needed a breather."</p><p>"Where's Noya?"</p><p>Tanaka sucked his teeth and glared up at the night sky. "Dancing with some girl."</p><p><em>Shit</em>.  That sounded way more bitter than he wanted to, and he was about to continue, about to play it off, when Ennoshita reached over and slapped Tanaka's shoulder.</p><p>"Are you feeling left behind?" Ennoshita teased. "Don't worry, I'm sure there's some girl here who could be convinced to dance with you."</p><p>Tanaka felt a light bulb go off in his head.  Of course that was it!  He was upset because he was jealous a pretty girl wanted to dance with Noya and not him!  But as Ennoshita's words rolled around in his head, he didn't feel elated or relieved at the revelation.  Instead, his mind replayed the words<em> left behind</em> over and over, and—to his utter horror—his eyes began to burn.</p><p>"Y-you think Noya's gonna leave me behind?" he asked, and <em>oh goddamn</em> his voice sounded watery, and was his lower lip trembling?  What the—</p><p>"Oh.  Oh gosh, oh no," Asahi stammered. "A-Are you crying?"</p><p>"What?" Tanaka blubbered even as he felt tears rise. "N-n-no!  Of c-course not, st-stupid!"</p><p>He caught Ennoshita and Asashi exchanging panicked glances before he hurriedly scrubbed the back of his hand across his eyes.  Like hell he was going to drunk-cry like some baby because his best friend was about to score with a girl.  What a moronic, stupid, ridiculous thing.  It was all because of the alcohol.  He'd had too much, apparently, and he swore to drink only water for the rest of the night, maybe for the rest of his <em>life</em>—</p><p>"T-Tanaka, it's okay, I'm sure—" Asahi started, but Ennoshita cut him off.</p><p>"Get a grip," the captain interrupted sternly. "Of course Nishinoya's not gonna leave you behind.  You've been friends for like six years now and I'm pretty sure you share a brain.  Now, you threw him this party.  Are you really gonna spend it out here crying like a child, or are you gonna go celebrate your best friend?"</p><p>Tanaka straightened up and sniffed hard, blinking the rest of the moisture from his eyes. "I'm gonna—"</p><p>"Ryuu!"</p><p>They all jumped and turned to the source of the noise, where Noya was sticking his head out of the glass sliding door.  His hair spikes were starting to fall, and his cheeks were ruddy from the dancing and the drinking.  His eyes were as bright as ever, though, as they locked on to Tanaka's, and a thought flickered through Tanaka's mind that Noya was one of the most beautiful people he'd ever seen.</p><p>Yeah, nope.  He was sticking to water for the rest of his life.  Alcohol made him think weird things.</p><p>"We're gonna play truth or dare!" Noya yelled over the blaring music behind him. "You guys wanna join?"</p><p>"Oh, ah, um—" Asahi faltered.</p><p>"We'll watch," Ennoshita said with a wicked grin.</p><p>A chill ran up Tanaka's spine, and he wondered if Ennoshita had learned his captaincy style more from Suga than from Daichi after all.</p><p>"Sweet!" Noya exclaimed, then caught sight of Tanaka's water cup. "Oh is that my water?" He darted forward to take the cup. "Thanks!" And with that he ran back inside.</p><p>Tanaka was frozen, hand empty but still curved like he was holding on to the cup, and he jumped when something heavy clapped his shoulder.  He looked up at Asahi's gentle, smiling face.</p><p>"Let's go inside," he said gently, and Tanaka let himself be steered back into the house.</p><p>He made a pit stop in the kitchen to get himself another cup of water.  Tsukishima had finished off the popcorn bowl and was now working on the pretzels.</p><p>"Why are you even here if you're not gonna enjoy the party?" Tanaka asked.</p><p>Tsukishima didn't look up from his phone. "Yamaguchi wanted to come."</p><p>Tanaka rolled his eyes and shut the fridge.  He checked in on the group in the dining room, which was now comprised of the five first years and Kinoshita, who'd set up a three-on-three beer pong game with cups that looked like they were just filled with water, and a few other classmates who were just chatting away from the loud music.</p><p>He then wandered into the living room where a circle of people had formed on the floor where the dancing had once been.  The music had been turned down some so they didn't have to constantly shout.  Noya beckoned Tanaka over to squeeze next to him in the circle.  Tanaka saw the girl pressed against Noya on one side, and he was tempted to try to fit himself in there, but Hinata was already scooting into Kageyama's lap to make room for him on Noya's other side, so he had no choice.</p><p>"Yuu-chan, you get to spin first!" the girl said, placing an empty vodka bottle on the floor.</p><p>Tanaka stiffened.  Noya didn't like his given name all that much, insisting the people call him Noya or Nishinoya unless they were really close to him.  In fact the only people who did call him Yuu were his mother and Saeko.  Not even he called Noya by his given name, although Noya probably wouldn't mind.  They'd known each other long enough.  But the thought of doing that, of letting that syllable drop from his lips made his stomach twist in a weird way.</p><p>He shook away that feeling and let the indignant irritation sink back in.  Where where did this girl get off thinking she could call Noya by his given name and add <em>-chan</em> to it?</p><p>"If you insist," Noya said, laughing easily as he reached forward and spun the bottle.  It landed on one of the girls' volleyball players. "Truth or dare?"</p><p>Her smile was wide. "Dare."</p><p>"Show us the eighth most recent photo in your camera roll," Noya said. "But don't give any context or explanations.  If you do, you have to drink."</p><p>The girl's confident smile turned wary, likely racking her brain for what her eighth most recent photo could be and if it was anything incriminating.  The group tittered in anticipation as she pulled her phone out.  One of the girls sitting next to her looked over her shoulder to keep her accountable. </p><p>"Oh shit," the friend giggled when the girl selected the photo.</p><p>"Wait, no—" she started, about to swipe to a different picture, but her friend snatched the phone out of her hand.</p><p>"Take a look y'all!" the friend crowed, showing the phone around to the group.  Some girls grabbed it for a closer look.</p><p>"No, it's—it must've been an accident!" she exclaimed. "I-I didn't even know I had that!"</p><p>"Drink!" the group chorused, and she hastily lifted her cup to her mouth, looking like she wanted to drown in it.</p><p>Hinata snickered as he passed the phone to Tanaka, and Tanaka glanced down to see it was a screenshot of an Instagram photo belonging to one of the third years on the boys' basketball team.  He passed it on to Noya, and the phone eventually made it back to the girl, who whimpered and covered her eyes with her free hand.</p><p>"You have to spin now!" urged the friend who took the phone from her.</p><p>"Ugh, fine," she groaned, giving the bottle a half-hearted spin.  It landed on Kageyama and Hinata, and Tanaka straightened up in interest. "Um, which…?"</p><p>"Oh, m—" Hinata started eagerly, but Kageyama clapped a hand to Hinata's mouth, which was probably a smart choice.  Hinata would undoubtedly choose dare and probably take it too far.</p><p>"I'll do it," Kageyama said.</p><p>"Truth or dare?"</p><p>"Truth," he grunted.</p><p>She thought for a moment. "What's your biggest fantasy?"</p><p>Tanaka and Noya groaned, earning surprised looks from the non-boys' volleyball part of the group.  Ordinarily, that would turn out to be a pretty spicy truth.  But when it was directed at Kageyama…</p><p>"Playing volleyball for the rest of my life," Kageyama answered plainly.</p><p>The girl blinked. "What?"</p><p>"With Hinata," he added, and Hinata twisted his head around to place a sloppy kiss on Kageyama's cheek.</p><p>"That's it?" she asked, raising his eyebrows.</p><p>Kageyama shrugged. "What else is there?"</p><p>Tanaka felt something hit his arm, and he looked down to see Noya had let his head fall against him in exasperation, but Tanaka could see his shoulders shaking with laughter.</p><p>"Is he serious?" the girl asked. "I mean, I like volleyball and all, but I meant, like, sexual fantasy."</p><p>"That is a sexual fantasy to Kageyama," Ennoshita said from where he sat watching on the couch, and the group laughed.</p><p>Kageyama growled in annoyance and reached forward to spin the bottle, clearly wanting the attention off of him, and the game continued.  Tanaka sipped on his water, enjoying the show as people were forced to tell embarrassing stories or admit their latest lie.  He learned that one of his classmates ate his fingernail clippings and that Yamaguchi had once almost stolen another kid's shoes at a shoe store because he'd seen then next to an empty box and mistaken them for store inventory.</p><p>The dares were entertaining as well.  Narita was dared to serenade someone in the room, so he gave a heartfelt rendition of the chorus of <em>My Heart Will Go On</em> to Asahi in awkward English.  Tanaka himself had been dared to text a picture of his elbow made to look like a butt to the most recent person he'd texted, which was Satoshi.</p><p>"Tanaka-senpai, what the hell?!" Satoshi exclaimed moments after the text was sent, storming out of the dining room with his phone in his hand as the group erupted into raucous laughter.</p><p>The game continued, and one of the girls dared another to put an ice cube in each bra cup and leave them there till they melted.  A classmate had to group text his parents and tell them which one was his favorite.  And most recently, Yachi attempted to eat five spoonfuls of hot sauce, but luckily her volleyball crush cut her off after two. </p><p>"Who now?" Hinata asked, since it was supposed to be Yachi's turn to spin, but she and the middle blocker—Seno Mizuki, Tanaka had learned—were now in the kitchen soothing Yachi's throat with a glass of milk.  Tanaka hoped Tsukishima's presence wasn't cockblocking them too much.</p><p><em>What's the girl version of cockblock?</em> he wondered idly to himself, enjoying the chatter and laughter around him.</p><p>The weird tension from earlier that had his guts twisted up in knots was now gone, faded away along with his buzz.  His outburst on the porch earlier was so embarrassing.  He had no reason be upset, especially over the ridiculous idea of Noya leaving him behind.  Ennoshita was right: he had nothing to be worried about, especially not when he was surrounded by friends with a drunk, happy Noya pressed against his side, warm and full of laughter.</p><p>"I'll do it!" volunteered the pretty girl on the other side of Noya. "I haven't gone yet."</p><p>She reached forward and spun the bottle.  They watched as it turned and turned until it finally came to a stop, pointing directly at Noya.</p><p>"Yuu-chan, truth or dare?" she asked, a note of excitement in her voice.</p><p>"Dare," Noya said without hesitation.</p><p>"I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl in the room," she said primly, and the room howled with giggles and wolf whistles.</p><p>Tanaka stiffened as he felt Noya draw away from him.  His fingers gripped his cup hard, causing little dents in the thin plastic.  Noya laughed easily, always confident and always casual.  Tanaka envied that in him.  He tried to be cool and calm, act like he had it all together all the time, but he was constantly second-guessing himself on the inside.  Noya on the other hand never seemed to doubt anything.</p><p>"Aw, Fuyumi, all you had to do was ask," Noya teased, turning to the side to face her.</p><p>He saw Noya start to lean forward and immediately cut his gaze down to his cup of water, even though he couldn't see anything from this angle anyway.  The group catcalled again, and then Noya was leaning against him once more, faster than Tanaka had expected, but he guessed anything more than a peck in front of a whole group like this would be pretty awkward.</p><p>"Next!" Noya called, reaching forward to spin the bottle.</p><p>Tanaka tuned out the rest of the game, drinking from his water and trying to sift through the muddled thoughts crowding his brain.  The jeers and exclamations and music turned to white noise in his ears, and he wasn't sure how much time he'd spent staring into space before someone was poking him in the ribs.</p><p>"Ryuu, it's your turn," Noya said.</p><p>"What?" He blinked and saw the bottle pointing at him. "Oh, ah, I'm gonna tap out.  You take my turn, Noya," he said, rising to his feet and ignoring Noya's pout.  He patted Noya's shoulder, then made his way to the kitchen.</p><p>"Where's Yachi?" Tanaka asked.</p><p>"Porch," Tsukishima replied.</p><p>Tanaka leaned out of the kitchen to peer through the glass door, spying two people sharing a large blanket they must've stolen from the basket in the living room at some point.  Yachi's blonde head was leaned against Seno's shoulder, and Tanaka grinned, silently wishing her luck.</p><p>When he turned back, he saw Tsukishima stretching his arms over his head and yawning.  His phone was gone, probably disappeared into his back pocket.</p><p>"Where you going?" Tanaka asked as Tsukishima began to leave the kitchen.</p><p>"It's two in the morning," the middle blocker answered. "I told Yamaguchi this was the latest we'd stay."</p><p>"Oh damn, is it really that late?" he said, pulling his phone out and checking the time.  Sure enough, it read 2:02 AM.  He supposed the heavy weight of his eyelids could've told him that much, but he'd been exhausted all day anyway after staying up all night on Thursday.</p><p>"Good party.  See you tomorrow," Tsukishima said in a complete deadpan as he headed out to collect Yamaguchi from the living room.</p><p>"You didn't even leave the kitchen!" Tanaka called after him, then shook his head to himself.  He began to collect the empty snack dishes and stack them in the kitchen.</p><p>"Tanaka-senpai?  We're going to head out too," Eiji said, waving from the dining room.</p><p>"Be safe!" he called, chest swelling from hearing the word <em>senpai</em>. "Text the group chat when you get home!"</p><p>"Will do!" the first years chorused.</p><p>Kinoshita joined Tanaka in the kitchen, and they chatted easily about nothing as they began to clean up, collecting discarded plastic cups and pouring leftover snacks back into their bags.  It seemed that Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and the first years' departures had triggered everybody else to realize how late it was too, and others began filtering through saying their goodbyes and wishing Noya final happy birthdays.</p><p>Tanaka and Kinoshita went to join the others in the living room when it seemed like everybody was leaving now.  They'd offered to let people crash here if needed, but it seemed like nobody needed to take them up on that.</p><p>"Y'all have my address, right?" the girls' captain asked as she attempted to herd her team out of the house.</p><p>"Yes, captain!"</p><p>"Fuyumi!  We're leaving!" she yelled.</p><p>Tanaka recognized the name as belonging to the pretty girl who'd been flirting with Noya, and a chill swept over him when he suddenly realized that both were nowhere to be seen.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah!" a voice called back, and he turned to see Fuyumi and Noya reenter the living room from down the hall where the bedrooms and the bathroom were. "Bye, Yuu," she said sweetly before following her captain out.  Tanaka ground his teeth together.</p><p>"Yacchan, you coming?" Seno asked.</p><p>"Y-Yes!" Yachi exclaimed, smoothing her hair where it had frizzed from pulling her sweatshirt on. "Bye, boys!  See you tomorrow!"</p><p>"Bye Yachi!" they chorused, waving as the rest of the girls disappeared.</p><p>Noya came over and nudged Tanaka in the ribs. "Yacchan, huh?  How about that?" he murmured, waggling his eyebrows.</p><p>"Right?" Tanaka whispered back, a feeling of hope blooming for their manager.</p><p>"Hinata, you need a ride over the mountain?" Asahi asked, digging his car keys out of his pocket.</p><p>"No, I'm going home with Kageyama!" Hinata said happily, still severely tipsy as he leaned heavily against Kageyama, who was trying to keep Hinata upright while also putting his shoes on.</p><p>"What?!" Noya exclaimed. "You're too young for that!"</p><p>"D-dumbass!" Kageyama snapped, face aflame. "We're not gonna d-do anything!  He's drunk, anyway!"</p><p>"They grow up too soon," Noya sighed dramatically, tipping his head back against Tanaka and allowing his knees to give out.  Tanaka, who knew Noya well enough to see this move coming, easily caught him by the armpits.</p><p>"Stay strong, Noya," he said somberly, playing along. "We knew this day would come."</p><p>"Should we offer them the condoms from the bathroom?" Noya asked.</p><p>"<em>Shut up!</em>" Kageyama roared as Hinata giggled and hid his blushing face behind his hands.</p><p>"Let Asahi give you guys a lift to your place, Kageyama," Ennoshita instructed, pushing them out of the house. "I've got Kinoshita and Narita in mine." He looked back at Tanaka and Noya. "You guys need any help before we leave?"</p><p>Tanaka looked around the house, at the discarded plastic cups and shifted-around furniture, the sagging "Happy Birthday" banner and dance music still coming from the speakers.</p><p>"Nah, I got it," Tanaka said. "See you at practice tomorrow."</p><p>Ennoshita smiled dangerously. "Better be on time."</p><p>"We will!" Tanaka said, swallowing nervously.</p><p>His captain clapped him on the shoulder before walking out, and Tanaka closed the door behind him.  With that, the house was empty, and Tanaka let out a breath.  <em>What a night</em>, he thought to himself.  A face pressed into his back, and he smiled.</p><p>"Tired?" Tanaka chuckled.</p><p>"Happy," Noya said, and a pair of small, wiry arms wrapped around Tanaka's middle.  He rested his hands on them, and Noya hummed pleasantly.</p><p>They stood there for probably longer than they should've considering it was approaching three in the morning, but Tanaka didn't want to break the moment before he had to.  When he felt Noya begin to sag against him in exhaustion, he patted Noya's arms before extricating himself from the libero's hold.</p><p>"Go on to bed," he said. "I'll clean up a bit."</p><p>"Leave it for the morning," Noya whined, glaring up at him.</p><p>"I have other plans for the morning," Tanaka said as he moved past to grab one of the trash cans.</p><p>Noya grinned. "Plans for me?"</p><p>"Mm, maybe."</p><p>Noya laughed, clearly delighted, and Tanaka's heart swelled.</p><p>"Go to bed," he insisted again, beginning to collect the trash that hadn't made it into a can yet.</p><p>"Nah, I'll help."</p><p>"It's your birthday, you can't clean up," Tanaka said, wrinkling his nose.</p><p>"Like you said, it's the day after my birthday.  Technically two days after, now," Noya replied with a gesture to the clock on the stereo.</p><p>Tanaka rolled his eyes and chose not to respond, which Noya took as a cue to ramble about anything and everything to let Tanaka focus on the work.  He listened to the happy jabbering as he worked, straightening out the furniture and sweeping crumbs away.  In the kitchen, Noya hopped on the counter and knocked his heels rhythmically against the cupboards as Tanaka put away the remaining alcohol and mixers.  He checked on the state of the bathroom and noticed the box of condoms Katsumi left in the cupboard had been opened.</p><p>"I can't believe it," Noya said, shaking the box back and forth, eyeballing the contents. "My mom's gonna think all my friends are deviants now."</p><p>"I wonder who took 'em," Tanaka said with a grin.</p><p>"Ha!  What if it really was Kageyama?" Noya cackled.</p><p>Tanaka rolled his eyes. "Not a chance.  I think he'd burst a blood vessel at the thought." He placed the box back in the cabinet and wished whoever had taken them some luck.</p><p>Noya laughed again and followed Tanaka out of the bathroom.  Tanaka grabbed a cleaning rag out from under the kitchen sink and began to do a basic wipe down of all the surfaces.  Noya kept talking, recounting events of the party that Tanaka hadn't been there for, but as he talked something kept rolling around in the back of Tanaka's mind, no matter how much he tried to push it down and ignore it.</p><p>"So, that volleyball girl seemed really into you," Tanaka said, hating himself for bringing it up but not being able to resist either.</p><p>"Oh, Fuyumi?  Yeah, I guess so."</p><p>Tanaka looked up from the coffee table at Noya, who was sitting on the couch with his cheek on his knees and hands clasped around his ankles.  His hazel eyes were fixed somewhere to the side.  Tanaka couldn't tell if Noya was still flushed from the drinking or if he was blushing.</p><p>"Did you get her number?" Tanaka asked, hoping his voice didn't sound tight as he rubbed the rag over a sticky circle on the table.</p><p>"Yeah, she gave it to me before she left."</p><p>"You gonna text her?"</p><p>"Um…nah, probably not," Noya replied.</p><p>Tanaka whipped his head up. "No?  Wh…why not?"</p><p>Noya shrugged, still looking away. "I don't know if she's really my type."</p><p>Fuyumi was pretty, sporty, and into Noya.  Tanaka was pretty sure that summarized Noya's entire type, but he wasn't about to sit here and convince Noya to go out with her when he'd almost lost his mind over that possibility just an hour earlier.</p><p>"Then don't," Tanaka said brightly.</p><p>Noya looked at him finally. "Yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah.  No point in forcing yourself if you're not into it," Tanaka replied, then grinned wickedly. "Even if she is the first girl in like three years to show any interest in you."</p><p>"You dick!" Noya laughed, releasing his ankles so he could stretch one leg out and kick Tanaka in the head.</p><p>Tanaka shielded his head with his arms and laughed too.  What he said hadn't been exactly true.  It was true that Noya hadn't dated anyone since middle school—he'd had three girlfriends for about a month each in his third year—but he'd still received a handful of confessions over the years.  Noya had just claimed each time that he was too busy or too in love with Kiyoko to accept any of them.</p><p>Back then, Tanaka had encouraged Noya to pursue them.  He hadn't felt weirdly jealous or scared of being left behind.  He'd just been a supportive bro, even if he'd maybe had an ulterior motive of hoping that with Noya dating someone he might stand a better chance with Kiyoko, which Noya had called him on immediately.  Still, what had changed between then and now?</p><p><em>Whatever.  No use in dwelling on </em>it, he told himself since Noya wasn't interested anyway.  He'd just have to get over whatever his weird hang-up was before Noya actually got a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, or a partner, or whatever.</p><p>He rolled out of reach of Noya's legs and flipped him off, then walked away to deposit the cleaning rag in the laundry hamper in the bathroom.  When he came back out to the living room, he saw Noya dozed off on the couch.</p><p>Smiling to himself, he walked over to the stereo and shut off the music, then approached the couch.  He slipped one arm under Noya's legs, hooked the other around his back, and lifted his friend easily into his arms.  Noya's sleepy breaths puffed out against his collarbone and the spiky hair tickled his neck and jaw, but Tanaka just held him tighter as he walked down the hall to Noya's bedroom.</p><p>He carefully deposited Noya on the bed, then looked at Noya's jean-clad legs and sighed.  Swallowing down his embarrassment, he slipped Noya out of his pants as quickly as possible before covering him with the comforter.  He exchanged his own clothes for his pajamas, then went out to turn off the remaining lights in the house and double check the locks on all the doors.</p><p>When he returned to the bedroom with the futon and blankets from the hall closet, he saw Noya sitting up in bed.</p><p>"Go back to sleep," he urged, laying out the futon on the floor and tugging one of the spare pillows from Noya's bed.</p><p>"Ryuu," Noya mumbled, an edge to his voice.  He always turned into a nightmare if he couldn't get to sleep right away when he was exhausted, and Tanaka was too tired to deal with his irate half-asleep ass right now.</p><p>"Sleep," he instructed as he shook the blankets out over the futon.</p><p>"We never changed the sheets."</p><p>"Wha—oh." He blushed, remembering earlier when he'd made Noya come before the party.  Noya had finished him off right after, and then they got the text from Yamaguchi and had to get ready for the party.</p><p>"It's all crusty," Noya whined.</p><p>"I'm sorry, dude.  I'll wash 'em in the morning for you."</p><p>Noya grunted unhappily and rubbed at his eyes.</p><p>"Sleep on the top sheet?" he suggested, laying down on the futon.</p><p>"Don' wanna," Noya mumbled, sliding off the bed and landing on his knees next to the futon. "Scoot over."</p><p>"No-Noya, ah—" he stammered as Noya lifted the blankets and pressed himself against Tanaka's side.</p><p>"Shh, sleep," Noya murmured, shifting his head close so he could share the pillow Tanaka had grabbed.</p><p>"I—" Tanaka started, debating whether or not he should take the bed and let Noya have the futon when Noya placed his hands around Tanaka's arm and hugged it to his chest.  Well, there was no moving now.</p><p>He stared up at the ceiling and listened as Noya's breathing got deeper, willing his mind to stop racing so he could finally fall asleep.  His head spun slightly from all the drinking earlier, and he wondered if he should've drank more water.  Practice was going to be hell tomorrow, and he raised his free arm up so he could pinch the bridge of his nose.</p><p>Then Noya gave a soft, sleepy sigh and tilted his head forward so his forehead and nose were pressed to Tanaka's shoulder, and Tanaka smiled and dropped his hand.</p><p>Yeah, practice was going to be a drag, and he still had more cleaning than he wanted to do in the morning, and maybe he drunk-cried in front of Asahi and Ennoshita and spent half the night being weirdly jealous of Noya and a girl, but it had all been worth it to make Noya happy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Gosh I wasn't sure if I was gonna be able to upload this on time!  Oregon got hit with freezing rain last week and my power cut out Friday night.  It came back Sunday morning, but the wifi was still out, but it came back last night!  Phew!</p><p> </p><p>Porn videos in this chapter:<br/>- M/M scene about a fake delivery man having sex with a "birthday boy" mentioned</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Five-Alarm Fire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heads up: the third and final scene with substance use is in this chapter, and here's a friendly reminder to always be responsible with your substances</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tanaka's alarm came much sooner than he wanted it to.  The incessant beeping came from somewhere around his head, and he swatted his hand around the floor, trying to located his phone for several moments before finally finding purchase on the device.  He silenced the alarm and sighed, then put his arm back where it had been, which was around a small, warm body.</p><p>His eyes flew open to find Noya draped across him, with his right arm stretched out across Tanaka's torso, fingers curled tightly in Tanaka's shirt.  He was tucked up against Tanaka's side, with his shoulder in Tanaka's armpit and his left arm nestled between his chest and Tanaka's ribcage.  His head was resting comfortably on Tanaka's chest, rising and falling with each of Tanaka's breaths, which were coming faster and faster now.  Noya hadn't even budged at the sound of Tanaka's alarm, but he was almost certain Noya would wake up to the hammering of his heartbeat currently pressed to Noya's ear.</p><p>He had to find some way out of this.  When he'd made his plans for the morning after the party, he'd been banking on sneaking out of the room to prepare while Noya still slept, which was far easier to do when they weren't entangled on a futon together, especially considering the fact that Noya was prone to instinctively sleep-wrestling him due to years of Tanaka just walking over Noya when he was on a futon.</p><p>Plus his head was pounding, his mouth felt like sandpaper, and he needed to take a piss.</p><p>Difficulties aside, Tanaka had a mission to accomplish this morning, and he gritted his teeth as determination came over him.  He brought his hand over Noya's fingers and gently curled his around them, trying to dislodge them from his shirt.  Noya sighed and clutched tighter, so Tanaka instead slid his hand under Noya's, wiggling his fingers between Noya's until Noya was holding his hand and not his shirt.</p><p>Face burning, Tanaka used the leverage to remove Noya's arm from around him, then began to carefully slide his hand out of Noya's.  He gently set Noya's hand down on his own hip, then had to face the challenge of slipping out from under Noya's head.</p><p>He brought his left arm up and lifted Noya's chin.  Noya's lips parted, and Tanaka swallowed as he looked down at him, heart hammering in his chest from—from nerves.  He was nervous about accidentally waking Noya up, that was all.  Slowly, he raised his right arm up and cradled Noya's head against his chest, moving carefully as he shifted to the side and brought Noya's head down to his shoulder then down to the pillow, then slipped his arm out from under Noya's neck.</p><p>Noya grunted slightly and rolled over to his back, scratching a bit at his stomach as his smacked his lips in his sleep.  Tanaka held completely motionless, sitting and watching until Noya was still once again.  Then he quickly stripped Noya's bed sheets, grabbed his phone, and sneaked out of the room, letting out a big breath once he closed the door behind him.  Now it was time to accomplish what he'd set out to do.</p><p>An hour later, the house was clean, the trash was taken out, the dishes were washed, the sheets were hanging out to dry, and Tanaka was halfway through cooking Noya's favorite breakfast.</p><p>He heard the bedroom door creak open, followed by soft footfalls as Noya walked through the house.</p><p>"Morning!" Tanaka called as he beat some eggs in a bowl.</p><p>"Smells good," Noya said when he entered the kitchen.  He poured himself a glass of water and drank greedily from it before hopping up on to the counter.  He peered over at the stove where chicken, onion, and scallions were simmering in a broth. "Oyakodon?" he asked hopefully.</p><p>"Of course," Tanaka replied, pouring the eggs into the saucepan on the stove.</p><p>"You're the best, Ryuu!" Noya said with excitement, then jumped down from the counter. "I'll get the rice!"</p><p>Tanaka smiled, triumph burning in his chest.  Noya hummed to himself as he pulled two bowls down from a cabinet and began scooping rice from the cooker, which had been on Keep Warm for the past couple minutes.  Tanaka covered the saucepan, allowing the eggs to cook for a little bit, and turned around to watch Noya.</p><p>"How's your hangover?"</p><p>"Not bad.  A bit of a headache, but I think I'll be fine once I eat," Noya replied, then smiled over his shoulder at him. "Thanks for taking care of me last night."</p><p>"I'd be a shitty friend if I didn't," Tanaka said, and Noya turned back to the rice. "And did you sleep well?"</p><p>"Yeah!" Noya exclaimed. "I think I used you as a pillow at some point, so I'm sorry about that," he added with a laugh.</p><p>"Ah, don't be," Tanaka replied, rubbing the back of his head as his ears went red. "Happy to be of service."</p><p>Noya laughed again and brought the bowls of rice over.  Tanaka uncovered the pan and served their breakfasts, and he smiled widely when Noya breathed in deeply before diving in with the pair of chopsticks Tanaka held out to him.</p><p>"I love your cooking," Noya said around a mouthful of food.  He sprayed a few grains of rice when he spoke, and Tanaka rolled his eyes.</p><p>They moved over to the low dining table, talking around mouthfuls of food and laughing at each other.  With the house empty and the neighborhood quiet like usual on a Saturday morning, it felt like they were the only two people in the world.  Tanaka sort of wished the morning would never end, but he knew it would have to eventually.</p><p>"When's practice?" Noya asked, tapping on Tanaka's phone to check the time.</p><p>"Noon," Tanaka answered.</p><p>"Three hours," Noya said, lifting the last bite of his breakfast into his mouth. "Plenty of time.  D'you wanna?"</p><p>Tanaka gut clenched in anticipation, but he had something else he needed to do. "Yeah, but first I have another surprise."</p><p>"Is it more oyakodon?" Noya asked eagerly.</p><p>Tanaka collected their bowls and laughed. "No, but I hope you like it anyway.  Go wait in the living room."</p><p>Noya eyed him suspiciously, and for a moment Tanaka thought he would fight him on it since his curiosity was piqued to the max, but Noya complied.  He slunk away to the living room, and Tanaka quickly washed their dishes and added them to the precarious stack in the drainer.  Then he went to the pantry and pulled out an inconspicuous box, which held a plastic cake carrier inside of it.</p><p>Carefully, he slid the cake carrier out of the box and lifted the lid, revealing the simple chocolate cake he'd made the other day.  It was small, just one layer with some icing, no fancy piping or decorations or anything, but he hoped Noya liked it anyway.  Then he gathered the candles and lighter he'd also stashed in the box.  Once all eighteen candles were arranged and lit, he picked up the plastic base and made his way into the living room.</p><p>"Happy birthday, Noya," he said, gently setting the cake in front of Noya on the coffee table.</p><p>"Holy shit!" Noya exclaimed, staring at the cake.  The flames of the candles were reflected in Noya's wide eyes, little pinpricks of light dotting his gaze.  His jaw went somewhat slack.</p><p>As the silence continued, Tanaka blushed slightly and rubbed the back of his head, watching the wax drip down the candles. "You're, uh, supposed to make a wish."</p><p>"Right!" Noya said, then took a deep breath and released it, straining at the end to blow every last one out without taking another breath. "When did you make this?"</p><p>"Thursday."</p><p>"When the fuck did you have time?" Noya asked, eyebrows pushing together. "You didn't leave my place till after like ten."</p><p>Tanaka shrugged, not wanting Noya to feel bad about the near all-nighter he'd pulled in order to make the cake.  Saeko had tried to help out, but he didn't let her.  He wasn't much of a baker, with most of his time in the kitchen having been spent preparing dinners rather than desserts, but he wanted to do this for Noya, and he wanted to do it all on his own.  With the help of the internet, of course.</p><p>"I hope it's okay," he said. "Let me get a knife and stuff."</p><p>Tanaka turned back toward the kitchen but only made it a few steps before Noya tackled him from behind.  He stumbled forward a bit with the force of the impact and felt the familiar press of Noya's face into his back.</p><p>"Wh-what's wrong?" Tanaka asked, feeling slightly alarmed.</p><p>Noya's arms squeezed tighter around him, and his reply was muffled by Tanaka's back.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Noya pulled his face away and loosened his arms, and Tanaka turned in the circle of his arms, bringing his hands to rest on Noya's shoulders.  Noya stared earnestly up at him, his lower lip caught in his teeth, and Tanaka's heart rate picked up.</p><p>"You really are the best, Ryuu," Noya said firmly. "You're the best fucking friend ever in the whole fucking world, and I don't want you to ever think otherwise."</p><p>Tanaka blushed, lifting one hand to cover the lower half of his face. "Aw, shit, Noya, it's not that big a deal," he mumbled.</p><p>Noya shook his head and leaned his forehead against Tanaka's sternum. "It is and you know it."</p><p>He did know it.  He knew that nobody had ever made Noya a birthday cake before.  Katsumi was always too busy with her multiple jobs to do much cooking, let alone any baking, so she usually bought him a cake.  It didn't bother Noya, and it wasn't like he'd been sitting around feeling bitter that nobody had ever made him a cake, but Tanaka knew how special it was when someone made you something, and he wanted to give that feeling to Noya.</p><p>It seemed he'd succeeded, and his cheeks hurt from smiling so widely</p><p>Noya released Tanaka and pushed lightly on his chest. "Now get a knife!  I wanna dig into this!"</p><p>Tanaka smiled and went back to the kitchen, then came back with two small plates, a knife, and two spoons.  He plucked the candles out of the cake and went to throw them away.</p><p>"You wanna cut it?" he asked.</p><p>Noya shook his head. "Nah, I want you to do it.  I'm scared of ruining it."</p><p>"It'll all end up in our stomachs anyway," Tanaka said, but he took the knife and cut them two slices, lifting them carefully to the plates.  He offered Noya a spoon and waited as Noya took the first bite.  His heart rate kicked up again, watching as Noya chewed slowly in silence. "I-It's nothing special—"</p><p>"Shut up," Noya said out the corner of his mouth as he chewed.  A moment later he swallowed. "This is awesome, Ryuu."</p><p>He smiled and took a bite and had to conclude it <em>was</em> pretty awesome.  They finished their slices, and Tanaka took the cake back to the kitchen and covered it once more.  Noya had wanted to eat the whole thing right then, but Tanaka pointed out it probably wasn't the best idea to load up on cake just a couple hours before practice.  Plus, he said they should leave some for Katsumi.  Noya conceded at that.</p><p>"So," Noya said once Tanaka had towel-dried the plates and put them back in the cabinet. "Any more surprises?  Anything else we have to do?"</p><p>"Mm, nope," Tanaka replied, a smile curving his mouth up.</p><p>"Good." Noya took his wrist and immediately dragged Tanaka back to the living room.</p><p>"I can make the bed real quick if you want to do it in your room," Tanaka said, then blushed when he heard how that sounded.</p><p>Noya didn't seem to notice. "No point if we're just gonna get the sheets messy again.  Let's just do it here."</p><p>"But your mom—"</p><p>"Is already at work," Noya pointed out.</p><p>Tanaka glanced at the clock on the living room stereo and concluded Noya was right.  She must've packed her work uniform with her and left straight from Tanaka's house after her sleepover with Saeko.</p><p>"I'll get my laptop, then," Tanaka said, departing the living room.  When he returned, Noya was naked with his feet propped up on the coffee table, hand moving slowly between his legs.  Tanaka saw Noya was already half-hard and felt his own dick twitch in anticipation.</p><p>"Your turn," Tanaka told him, setting the laptop down on the coffee table.</p><p>"I chose yesterday!"</p><p>"Cause I gifted my turn to you, remember?" Tanaka reminded him. "Just choose.  I don't mind." He didn't plan on paying much attention to the video, anyway.  He had one more surprise up his sleeve.</p><p>Noya took his feet down and sat forward, browsing PornFun's selections until he landed on a light BDSM video featuring a woman dominating a man.  Tanaka stripped his pants and underwear off, then settled next to Noya as the video began.</p><p>The camera panned over to a man tied to a bed, his limbs pointing toward each corner of the mattress with a blindfold over his eyes.  The woman entered the room, wearing an alluring strappy ensemble.  She held a leather riding crop in one hand, and she stroked it up her body as she approached the bed.  The man inhaled sharply when he felt her weight on the bed, and she kneeled between his spread legs.</p><p>Tanaka's eyes were on the laptop, but he was only half paying attention to the couple on screen as the woman began her teasing and playing.  His mind was somewhere else, recounting the articles he'd been reading and Noya's words to him yesterday.  He stroked up along his erection, more excited by what was about to happen than what was occurring in the video.</p><p>Noya moaned beside him, and he shook his thoughts away, noticing now that the dominatrix was slowly fingering the man's asshole, a bulbous glass dildo resting beside her on the bed, which was clearly the eventual goal.  The man whined and writhed, pulling at his restraints, and the woman withdrew her fingers to slap the man's red, leaking cock and hiss a warning at him.</p><p>The woman didn't continue fingering, instead reaching for the dildo beside her.  She teased it over his entrance, and Tanaka felt his mouth go dry.  The head of the dildo pressed firmly to the puckered hole, and then she pushed once more and it opened for her, allowing the first bump to slide in easily.  The man let out a broken cry, and she pushed it in even further.</p><p>Noya rocked his hips in rhythm with his strokes, a low whine coming from behind his bared teeth.  Tanaka watched him instead of the video, watched the way his small fingers slid up and down his length, twisting and pulling and stroking with determination.  He saw the muscles in his stomach clenching, saw the quiver in his thighs, the strain in his arm.  Then his eyes traveled up to where the tendons in Noya's neck stood out, where his teeth gnawed at his lip, where his eyebrows were furrowed together, and Tanaka felt his resolve finalize.</p><p>He reached over and slipped his hand around Noya's dick, and Noya pulled his hand away without question, letting Tanaka take over the rhythm he'd established.  But when Noya started to reach back toward Tanaka, Tanaka shifted his hips away like he used to back when he'd started jerking Noya off.  Noya started to protest, but then Tanaka was leaning down, laying his torso against Noya's stomach, bringing his head down to Noya's lap.</p><p>"R-Ryuu?" Noya asked, his voice edging up in pitch.</p><p>"I have one more surprise," he said, adjusting his right arm so it rested against Noya's leg.  He'd intended for it to sound cool and confident, but instead it came out small and hesitant.  He couldn't dwell on that, though, not with Noya's cock standing up right in front of his face.</p><p>"What are you—?"</p><p>"Happy birthday, Noya," Tanaka said, and gave an experimental lick from above where his fist gripped up to the head.</p><p>Noya drew in a shuddery breath. "Ho-holy fuck."</p><p>Tanaka swallowed nervously. "I, uh, I've never done this before, so don't get mad at me if it sucks."</p><p>"I think sucking is the po-o-<em>int</em>," Noya said, gasping out the end because Tanaka had licked up him again, this time opening his hand to brace Noya's cock against it and starting his tongue at the base.</p><p>The skin was soft, almost velvety against his tongue, and it was surprisingly warm.  He supposed that was due to the increased blood flow in the organ, but anatomy and physiology had never been his forte.  Hesitantly, he brought his tongue in a circle around the head, feeling the smooth texture and the cleft.  Precum had been beading there, and the taste was sour but not bad, and he swallowed reflexively before finally putting his whole mouth around it.</p><p>Noya gave a sharp cry, and his hand scrabbled over Tanaka's bald head for a moment before curling his fingers over Tanaka's shoulder.  He felt Noya's other hand travel down his side, likely intending to bestow some attention on Tanaka's straining erection, but Noya's reach ended at Tanaka's waist.  Noya made a noise of frustration, but Tanaka was kind of glad he couldn't reach.  If Noya was stroking him at the same time, he'd definitely get distracted, and he wanted this to be as good as he could manage for Noya.</p><p>As for <em>why</em> he was doing this, well, why not?  If he was already practicing handjobs for the sake of a future partner, he figured he might as well practice blowjobs too.  He'd been a little curious, anyway, and since it was Noya's first time receiving a blowjob, he'd figured he might as well make it special.  It didn't really mean anything.  Nothing at all.</p><p>With his lips spread wide around Noya's cock, he dipped his head down lower, making sure his lip and tongue were covering his teeth.  An ache was already beginning to form in his jaw from the unfamiliar position, and he wondered if that would go away with time or if he'd just learn to ignore it.  He pulled his head back up, then went down again, sucking harder.</p><p>Noya moaned, the nails of his left hand digging into Tanaka's side as his right clutched Tanaka's shoulder.  Tanaka felt triumph blooming in his chest, even though he knew this was far from the best blowjob in the world.  It was too inexperienced, probably too slow, too hesitant, but at least he hadn't accidentally let his teeth slip out yet.  Small victories.</p><p>He kept going, dipping his head lower and lower, taking more of Noya into his mouth each time.  His mouth felt impossibly full, and the strain in his jaw was definitely letting itself be known, but he didn't want to stop.  When he'd asked Noya what it was like to give head, and he said it was the combination of it all that got to him, Tanaka didn't really get it, but now he did.</p><p>Noya's scent was all around him, familiar from all the years he's spent with Noya, but muskier, headier.  It was the scent of arousal, and it hit Tanaka hard in the stomach.  The taste was neutral, just like skin, if a bit salty, and the precum that Tanaka kept lapping up gave a sour thrill to his tongue.  Now that he was getting used to the taste, he didn't mind it at all; in fact, he might like it, especially considering it was a sign of how good he was making Noya feel.</p><p>It was completely unlike anything he'd ever experienced.  He felt almost vulnerable, taking Noya's most private part of him into his mouth of all things, and the intimacy of it all made his stomach swoop.  It took more concentration than he'd expected, trying to keep breathing and covering his teeth and Noya's pleasure on his mind all at once, but he supposed that would get easier with practice.</p><p>But the strain and the effort was entirely worth it for the way Noya was reacting.  He could feel every twitch in Noya's cock, every spasm of his abdominal muscles, every reverberating groan that Noya let out.  Some part of him heard pleasured screaming from the laptop speakers, but his senses tuned one hundred percent to Noya until his friend was all he could feel, smell, taste, and hear.  Noya released a high-pitched whine, clutching Tanaka's shoulder so hard he wouldn't be surprised if it bruised, and then Tanaka got an idea.</p><p>He twisted his hand around the base of Noya's erection, slid his mouth down, then hummed long and loud as he pulled up again.  Noya's hips spasmed underneath him, dick bobbing slightly in Tanaka's mouth, and he cried out sharply.</p><p>"<em>Fuck</em>, oh shit, Ryuu—your <em>mouth</em>—" Noya babbled, moving his hand from Tanaka's shoulder to spread his fingers against the column of Tanaka's neck.  One of Noya's fingers pressed to a vein, and Tanaka could feel how hard his pulse was throbbing against it.</p><p>He pulled his tongue back to block the back of his throat like he'd read in an article, pulled his lower lip over his bottom teeth, and took Noya in as far as he could manage.  Noya was whimpering above him, fingers tightly gripping the back of his neck, and Tanaka loved it.  He sucked hard, humming and moaning the whole time, his mind going fuzzy at the edges from the ecstasy of pleasuring Noya.</p><p>Tanaka felt a little dirty, a little slutty, a little submissive, but he didn't mind it one bit.  He liked the steady pressure of Noya's hand on his neck, not pushing or controlling, just letting Tanaka know he was there.  He liked the ache in his jaw, liked knowing that it was there because of hard work and effort.  He liked the taste and smell and feel of Noya's cock in his mouth, filling him up with its heat and arousal.</p><p>"Shit, I'm close, I'm <em>so</em> close," Noya warned with a gasp.</p><p>He pulled off, not confident enough in this venture to attempt swallowing, but he brought his fist up and down Noya's length, which was slick from his saliva, in exactly the way he knew Noya liked it.  Noya's legs flexed, heels sliding along the surface of the coffee table while his abs clenched in anticipation, until finally he came with a shout.</p><p>Tanaka watched, mesmerized as the thick spurts of cum flew out, landing on Tanaka's hand, on Noya's thighs, and a little bit on the couch.  He stroked Noya through it, enjoying the way Noya's body shuddered and the sound of his chokes gasps and moans.  When Noya's body finally relaxed, legs falling open listlessly, Tanaka got to his feet and fetched a towel from the bathroom as quickly as he could manage with his dick straining between his legs.  He stuck the towel under the faucet for a second and then rushed back to the living room to mop up the jizz that had landed on the couch.  He didn't think Katsumi would appreciate cumstains on her upholstery.</p><p>Noya was silent as Tanaka worked, eyes closed with his head tipped back against the couch.  He still didn't say anything even as Tanaka wiped up his thighs, and the video had ended some time ago, so there was hardly a sound to be heard.  As the quiet stretched on, it began to feel choking, and Tanaka's thoughts started in a downward spiral.  <em>Did he not like it?  Did I take it too far?  Did I mess up?</em></p><p>His hands shook slightly as he wiped them, but he paused before they were clean, staring at a white droplet on his knuckle.  Before he could think too much about it, he brought his hand to his mouth and licked it away.  It was similar to the precum, slightly more viscous, but tasted about the same.  Tasted pretty similar to his own, honestly, except for the fact that he knew it was Noya's, which did something funny to his stomach.</p><p>"Ryuu," Noya groaned, and Tanaka looked over at him, worried for a moment that Noya had seen him lick up the cum, but Noya's eyes were still closed. "Fuckin'…<em>sick</em>, dude.  Shit.  I don't even—"</p><p>"It was good?" Tanaka asked eagerly.</p><p>Noya opened his eyes. "Yeah, man.  Damn.  Now get over here and let me return the favor."</p><p>Tanaka bit back a moan at Noya's words, though his cock twitched in earnest.  He walked back to the couch and bent over his laptop for a moment, hastily selecting the first suggested video on the website before sitting down.  Noya impatiently pushed him back against the cushions and in seconds the hot, wet suction of Noya's mouth was on him.</p><p>A relieved sigh blew past his parted lips.  His erection—which had taken the backseat in his subconscious while he'd been blowing Noya—felt so tight and strained it was almost painful, but the sweet friction of Noya's lips and tongue finally soothing it was almost enough to make him come right away.</p><p>He didn't, though he knew he wouldn't last long anyway.  Between how keyed up he was from sucking Noya's dick for the first time and the ferocity with which Noya was now paying him back, he'd be surprised if he lasted longer than ten minutes.</p><p>Porn stars moaned on the screen, but Tanaka wasn't watching them.  He couldn't even recall what he'd selected, and he didn't think Noya cared either, based on the way he greedily sucked and slid over Tanaka's length.  Noya's eyes were closed, and he moaned around the cock in his mouth.  Tanaka slid his hand into Noya's hair and curled his fingers just enough to pull lightly at the roots, and Noya gave a whole body shudder and a muffled whine.</p><p>"Fuck," Tanaka said gruffly, biting his lip.</p><p>Noya responded by taking him deeper, and the head of his cock bumped rhythmically against the back of Noya's throat.  It had his gut in knots, and he felt his whole body begin to tighten, winding up like a spring.</p><p>"Close," he grunted, and Noya increased his speed.  He wasn't going down as low now, but he made up for that with a tight circle of fingers stimulating the base of Tanaka's cock.  Tanaka whimpered, seeing that Noya was planning to swallow again, and moments later he was spilling into Noya's mouth.</p><p>Noya drank him down, slurping obscenely to make sure he didn't miss a drop.  It made Tanaka feel like he was going to have a heart attack, having someone be so dedicated to his pleasure and its result.</p><p>"Goddamn," Noya said when he pulled off, a string of saliva connecting him to Tanaka's dick until he pulled too far and it snapped.  Noya's lips were red and wet, and Tanaka wondered if his had looked the same.  He wanted to take Noya's chin in his hand, press his thumb to those lips and—</p><p>Tanaka groaned weakly and put his forearm over his eyes.  Stupid hormones again, making him think weird things.</p><p>He felt Noya shift on the couch and tap something, and then it was suddenly quieter.  Dimly, he realized Noya must have shut off whatever video he'd selected.  Did it mean something that he hadn't paid any attention to the video?  Did it mean something that Noya probably didn't either?</p><p>No, of course not.  It was normal to pay more attention to things actually happening to you than to some actors on a screen.  There was nothing more to it.</p><p>"Dude, thanks," Noya said, and Tanaka felt the couch shift again.</p><p>He opened his eyes and saw Noya was sitting facing him, head and knees leaning against the back of the couch.  Noya had a lazy, blissful smile on his face.</p><p>"Best birthday ever," Noya told him.</p><p>"I hope you still feel that way when Ukai and Ennoshita kick our asses later," Tanaka replied.</p><p>Noya groaned, then turned to look at the clock on his laptop.  Tanaka blushed at the frame the porn video had been paused on: a woman was kneeling on the floor, tied tightly in red ropes, getting her breasts paddled.  He really must've been out of it when he selected the video, and he was glad he hadn't been paying much attention; that much BDSM made him squirm too much to be enjoyable.  Noya, however, hummed appreciatively before turning back to Tanaka.</p><p>"Think we have enough time to squeeze in a nap?" he asked.</p><p>"Definitely, but only because I'm limiting you to thirty minutes," Tanaka told him, rising to his feet to pull his clothing back on.</p><p>Noya followed suit, stretching his leg out to fish his boxers up with his toes, and grumbled under his breath as he did so.</p><p>"Uh-uh," Tanaka said firmly. "You turn into a bitch if you nap for longer."</p><p>"I do not," Noya replied with a roll of his eyes, but the quirk in the corner of his mouth told Tanaka that Noya knew he was right.</p><p>Once he was dressed, Tanaka fetched the sheets from the back porch, which were freezing from a night outside but blissfully dry, and together he and Noya made his bed.  Noya climbed onto the mattress and pressed his face into the pillow with a happy laugh, and Tanaka smiled as he turned toward the bedroom door.</p><p>"Where are you going?" Noya asked.</p><p>Tanaka paused and looked over his shoulder. "Uh, living room?"</p><p>"Why?" Noya wrinkled his nose. "Nap with me."</p><p>He swallowed.  Sure they'd napped together on the bus or on the couch when they couldn't stay awake for a whole movie, but they'd never laid down together like that before.  Well—his eyes lowered and caught on the futon where they'd spent what little of the night they'd had left after the party—at least not before last night.</p><p>"Come on, I know you're tired too," Noya said, wriggling underneath the covers and holding them up, an invitation for Tanaka to join. "Whatever you were gonna do can wait."</p><p>His feet moved before he told them to, carrying him Noya's bed.  He was thinking of making some bentos for the both of them to take to practice, and he was sure if he told Noya that then his friend would probably want Tanaka to prioritize feeding him than napping with him, but he kept his mouth shut and climbed under the covers.</p><p>Noya smiled when Tanaka laid his head down on the pillow, and Tanaka felt himself blush.  He turned over to his back and lifted his phone up, setting a timer for thirty minutes.  Then he turned again so his back was to Noya.</p><p>"Sleep well," he grunted.</p><p>The mattress shifted, and he felt Noya's chest press against his back as his arm draped over Tanaka's side.  Noya's knees nudged up against the back of Tanaka's thighs.  The warmth of Noya's body bled out against him, and Tanaka felt almost like melting even as his heart kicked up into overdrive.</p><p>"This okay?" Noya whispered, and <em>god</em> it was almost like it was right in Tanaka's ear.</p><p>"Y-yeah," Tanaka whispered back, hoping Noya didn't notice the goosebumps on his arm.</p><p>"Good," Noya replied, then pressed his forehead to the point where Tanaka's neck met his shoulder, and Tanaka's heart hammered away in his chest.</p><p>When the alarm went off thirty minutes later, Tanaka hadn't slept a wink.</p><p>/ / /</p><p>The bus was silent.</p><p>Well, not exactly silent, but nobody was talking.  The heavy air was filled with background noise: the sound of other vehicles on the highway, the rumbling of the bus's engine, the soft sniffles that first year Hasegawa Eiji couldn't keep down.</p><p>Tanaka sat with Noya in the back row of the bus, their usual spot, but this would be the last time they sat there because this was their last ride.  Volleyball season was now over, at least for them.</p><p>Spring Qualifiers, usually a three-day affair, had only lasted two days for them.  Because of how well they'd done in the Interhigh in June, they hadn't played any games on the first day, just watched and analyzed and anticipated.  Then, when they'd finally gotten to play, they lost in their first game.</p><p>The humiliation of it all was almost the worst part of it.  They'd stepped onto the court as confident returning champions, all eyes on them as the upstart underdogs of last year, and they left with heavy hearts and tears in their eyes.  Ukai told them they put up a good fight, and logically they knew they had—they lost by three points in the third, which was almost poetic—but his words just felt hollow and empty to them right now.</p><p>Noya had the window seat, and he sat away from Tanaka with his knees drawn up to his chin, his whole body tight and angry and cut off.  Tanaka was forcibly reminded of their first year, of the tension and strain in Noya's body after their loss to Date Tech and the way he shook when he'd fought with Asahi.</p><p>Tanaka sighed heavily and stared down at his hands, linked loosely across his lap, when Noya's hand reached over.  For a heart-stopping moment Tanaka thought Noya was gonna try to jerk him off on the bus, but no.  His hand just gripped the sleeve of Tanaka's jacket and tugged lightly.</p><p>He turned his head to meet Noya's eyes, which were red-rimmed and raw.  His eyes probably looked the same.  Ennoshita had slunk away from the team while they were changing, and when they found him crying in a nearby stairwell, they dogpiled on top of him and sobbed together.  Their time playing volleyball with each other was over.</p><p>Noya lowered his legs and lifted his arm, a clear invitation to cuddle up to him.  Tanaka's stomach squirmed—sure they'd fallen asleep on each other before and had no problem being physically affectionate with each other, but this felt…intimate.  Being comforted like that was something a partner usually did, right?</p><p>But, in the absence of a partner, Tanaka supposed the closest thing he and Noya had was each other.  And besides, he was craving the physical contact anyway.  So he shifted close and leaned over, fitting the curve of his nose to Noya's neck, and Noya's arm settled around his shoulders.  He rested one arm behind Noya's back against the seat and draped the other over Noya's chest, fingers curling around the hem of Noya's jacket where it wasn't zipped all the way up.</p><p>Something inside him loosened and began to unwind, and he hadn't realized how much he'd disliked sitting apart from Noya like that when they were both hurting inside.  He pursed his lips and fought off the urge to cry, focusing instead on the circles Noya's thumb was rubbing into his shoulder.  The tension slowly bled from him, and he sagged against Noya's body.  Noya rested his cheek on Tanaka's head, and neither of them said anything when they felt warm tears from the other fall on their skin.</p><p>Ukai treated them all to dinner as usual after a tournament, but the atmosphere was somber and not celebratory as they'd imagined it would be.  Perhaps they'd been foolish to think they could recreate the magic of last year, to think that simply because they'd touched the stars once that they could do it again, but thinking that didn't ease their pain.</p><p>When they clambered back on the bus, Noya was the one to tuck himself against Tanaka's chest this time, throwing his legs across Tanaka's lap for good measure.  Tanaka looped his arms around Noya's body, cradling him gently, and he was glad they were in the back of the bus where nobody could easily see.  Not that he thought anybody would really tease or make fun of them today, but he didn't want to deal with any implications or misunderstandings that might follow.  He thought he'd seen Ennoshita watching them more closely than usual in the restaurant, but he didn't have the energy to correct whatever wrong assumption he was probably making about Tanaka and Noya's close friendship.</p><p>The second part of the bus trip back was much shorter, only a jaunt across town until they were all unloading the bus in the parking lot next to the second gym.  This year there were no students awaiting their return, ready to shout their congratulations.  No celebratory banner, no vice principal suddenly on their side.  The campus was silent, cold, and unfeeling, and Tanaka wanted very badly to go home.</p><p>"Can I stay over at your place?" Noya asked as they began the walk back to their neighborhood.</p><p>"Of course," Tanaka replied, grateful that Noya had suggested it so he didn't have to ask and seem like a pathetic baby who didn't want to be alone, even though that was exactly what he was.</p><p>He pulled open his phone and ignored the sorrowful texts from his sister and father and Tora and opened up the volleyball group chat, texting everyone to let them know he was cancelling tomorrow's party.  It probably went without saying, but he wanted to be clear.</p><p>Once they arrived at the Tanaka household, they kicked off their shoes and dropped their bags in the entrance before heading for the living room.  The house was silent, meaning they beat Saeko home.  After a moment, he wasn't sure actually if she would be coming home tonight, since she'd booked a hotel room for two nights.  He checked his phone for the ignored messages from earlier and saw that she had said she'd be staying in Sendai for the night.</p><p>"Saeko's not coming home tonight," he said.</p><p>"House to ourselves," Noya replied, and if it had been any other night it would've sounded suggestive and they'd probably be blowing each other within ten minutes like they had been for the past two weeks since the day after Noya's birthday party, but Tanaka could tell neither of them were in the mood tonight.</p><p>"Want to play <em>Smash</em>?" he asked.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"You set it up," he said, then went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.</p><p>Once there, though, he saw all the alcohol and mixers they'd prepared for the party tonight, most of it just leftovers he'd brought home from Noya's party.  Well, they needed to be consumed at some point, he told himself as he grabbed two beer bottles from the fridge and popped them open.  Noya's eyebrows lifted when he reentered the living room, but he took one of the proffered bottles and put it to his lips without question.</p><p>The beer was a good idea, he thought once he reached the end of his bottle.  It relaxed him, made his anger and frustration all fuzzy at the edges, and Noya was actually smiling now even though Tanaka was beating his ass at <em>Smash</em>.</p><p>"No fair," Noya whined. "You know I get drunker faster."</p><p>"I'll get another beer then."</p><p>"One for me too."</p><p>One more beer turned into two mores, which turned into three, and then they were mixing whiskey and coke in the kitchen and spilling because they were drunk-giggling at nothing.  They switched to <em>Mario Kart</em> and kept crashing, which caused them to laugh more.  It occurred to Tanaka that they were probably drowning their sorrows, which wasn't a healthy coping mechanism, but if it made the dark, ugly pain inside him take a backseat to drunken laughter and ridiculous antics, then he wasn't going to complain.</p><p>"I wanna change," Noya said abruptly.</p><p>He set his controller down without waiting for Tanaka to pause the game, and his racer drove straight off the edge of the track.  Tanaka giggled to himself, listening to the familiar creaks and groans of the house as Noya went upstairs to his bedroom and the drawer of clothes he kept here.  <em>Mario Kart</em>'s game music continued playing on the speakers as he spaced out, waiting for Noya to return.</p><p>"Ryuu!" Noya called from upstairs.</p><p>"Yeah?" he yelled back.</p><p>Noya shouted again, but it was too muffled for Tanaka to really understand.  He got unsteadily to his feet, bringing his glass of whiskey and coke with him.  The stairs were disagreeable tonight, and it took him longer to climb them than usual, but soon enough he was standing in the doorway of his bedroom.</p><p>"What?" Tanaka asked, leaning against the doorframe, which was hard and firm.  He wished it was softer.  <em>Doorframes should be soft</em>, he thought, and filed the idea away with the many other million-dollar ventures he'd thought up.</p><p>Noya's back was to him, facing Tanaka's desk.  He was half-dressed, only wearing a shirt over his arms, having not made it all the way over his head and shoulders, and a pair of loose sweatpants.  Loose because they were Tanaka's, almost comically baggy on Noya with the way they bunched at his ankles.  The waistband sat low on his hips, exposing two small dimples on his lower back that drew Tanaka's gaze.</p><p>He swallowed.</p><p>"Ryuu!" Noya yelled suddenly, clearly not aware of the fact that Tanaka was currently in the doorway.  He jumped, slopping a bit of his drink over the side of the glass.  It helped snap him out of the weird hole his thoughts had been burrowing down.</p><p>"Right here, damn," he said.</p><p>Noya looked over at him. "Shit!  So fast!"</p><p>Tanaka giggled and didn't correct him that he'd been there a while. "What's up?"</p><p>"Look," Noya said, and Tanaka walked over to stand behind him.</p><p>Sitting on his desk was a joint and a lighter, accompanied by a sticky note that said, <em>Congrats little bro!  </em>Saeko must've sneaked it into his room yesterday between the time he left for Karasuno and when she hit the road for Sendai City Gym. </p><p>His eyes burned.  They'd all been so confident, so sure, so foolish.</p><p>"What should we do?" Noya asked, turning his head to look up at Tanaka.</p><p>"We don't deserve it," Tanaka replied darkly.</p><p>"D'you think she'll take it away from us?"</p><p>Tanaka's eyes widened. "What if we hide it?"</p><p>"She'd find it," Noya said confidently, and Tanaka knew he was right. "We should just smoke it."</p><p>"Noya." Tanaka placed his hands on his friend's shoulders and turned him gently around so they were fully facing each other. "You're a goddamn motherfucking <em>genius</em>."</p><p>Noya's face split into a grin. "Duh." He finally pulled the shirt over his head, and Tanaka tried not to feel disappointed because there was nothing to be disappointed about.  Especially since the shirt he was wearing was Tanaka's.  But also, that was nothing to be pleased about either.</p><p>Instead of feeling weird things about Noya wearing his clothing, he downed the rest of his mixed drink so they could use the glass as a makeshift ashtray.  He wasn't sure what drink he was on, if that glass was his second whiskey or his third, but he didn't really care either way.  Some voice in the back of his head told him to switch to water, but he ignored it.</p><p>They sat on the floor, leaning back against Tanaka's bed.  Noya brought the lighter and the joint, and he clicked it several times before getting it to light.  Once he managed it, he lit the end of the joint and took the first hit, breathing deeply.  As usual, he started coughing, and he tapped the ash off and passed it to Tanaka, who eagerly breathed in the musty smoke.</p><p>"This sucks," Noya muttered, shifting to the side so he could press their arms together.</p><p>"Yeah," Tanaka said on his exhale.</p><p>"I just can't believe it's over."</p><p>Tanaka passed the joint back to Noya.  When their fingers brushed, his skin tingled.  He stared at the tips of his fingers, wondering why they were doing that.  Maybe he was even drunker than he thought.  Maybe he was already high.</p><p>"It just—" Noya coughed, holding the joint out for Tanaka to take again, so he did. "It's like, you know high school has to end.  But it also feels like it'll last forever, until it doesn't.  And it just ends.  And it sucks."</p><p>"Yeah," Tanaka said, nodding.  He put the joint to his lips and inhaled again, then blew it out in a thin, steady stream. "It's not over yet, though."</p><p>"The best part of it is."</p><p>He couldn't argue with that.  With no Nationals to prepare for, Ukai would probably cut practices down.  Tanaka, Noya, and Ennoshita won't need to go anymore.  They'd probably show up consistently at first, out of habit and an inability to let go quite yet, but they'd eventually have to put studies above practice since they wouldn't be practicing for anything anyway.  The team would shift gears and focus on building up their skills to prep for next year's Interhigh.  A new captain and vice captain would be chosen, putting an end to his and Ennoshita's brief reign.  The Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club would move on, without them, and they'd have to move on too.</p><p>They'd been sitting in silence for several long moments, passing the joint back and forth, listening to nothing but their breathing and coughs and inner thoughts.</p><p>"Ryuu," Noya croaked, having just finished coughing.</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Don't ever quit on me," Noya said. "Promise?"</p><p>"Of course not," Tanaka replied, scandalized at the very thought.</p><p>"It's gotta be you and me until the end of time, right?" Noya tapped the ash off into the empty glass between them. "Always by each other's side."</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"You can't get bored of me and leave me behind."</p><p>"I'd nev—"</p><p>"No matter what, even if I annoy you and make you mad, or if I push you too hard, or—"</p><p>"Noya!" Tanaka interrupted, feeling scared all of a sudden. "Wh-What's gotten into you?"</p><p>Instead of answering, Noya just sucked down another dose of the marijuana.  Concern turned to consternation, because it was supposed to be Tanaka's turn.  Noya had just <em>stolen</em> his hit.</p><p>Without thinking, he swooped down, closing the short distance between his and Noya's faces, and hovered his lips over Noya's.  As Noya exhaled, Tanaka inhaled deeply, taking in the smoke that Noya had stolen from him.  He was so close that their noses brushes together, and Noya gasped when he belatedly noticed how close they were.</p><p>Tanaka sat back, tipping his head back against the bed, blowing the smoke up into the air.  He could feel Noya shaking beside him and coughing as usual, and when he turned to look, Noya had the back of his hand pressed over his mouth.  Tanaka raised an eyebrow, then put two and two together.</p><p><em>We almost kissed</em>, he realized stupidly.  The consciousness of what had just happened cut like a knife through the thick fog of his intoxicated mind.  <em>Stupid, stupid, stupid</em>, Tanaka told himself.  Here Noya was talking like he was scared Tanaka would push him away, when really in the end it would be Noya pushing him away because he got too close and too weird and crossed too many lines.</p><p>"Ryuu," Noya said, lowering his hand.</p><p>"Mn." Tanaka looked at him nervously, but he saw no anger or hurt or disgust in Noya's eyes.  Instead, he saw a bright determination.</p><p>"D'you wanna?" Noya asked, and the heat in his voice was enough to scald someone.</p><p>"Oh, uh—" Tanaka started.  It felt like a bad idea, but he wasn't sure why.</p><p>But as he was trying to sort through his intoxicated thoughts, which was about as easy as digging through mud, he hadn't realized that Noya was already reaching for the waistband of his pants.  His fingers made contact with the skin of Tanaka's hips, and Tanaka jumped away.</p><p>"N-Noya, are you—but we—"</p><p>"You wanna be on the bed?" Noya asked, and he dropped the still-smoking joint into the cup and leapt up on to the bed. "Come on, Ryuu."</p><p>"I can get the laptop," Tanaka muttered to himself.  They should probably just masturbate, only jerk themselves off, if they were gonna do this right now.  He rose to his feet, the world tilting somewhat as he did.  He stumbled to the side, catching himself on the bed.</p><p>"Don't bother," Noya said, rolling on the bed so his elbows were propped on the edge, and his impatient hands wrapped around Tanaka's hips, thumbs slipping beneath his waistband.</p><p>"N-Noya, the videos—" Tanaka stammered, blood and adrenaline rushing through his body, making it hard to think.</p><p>"I wanna blow you, Ryuu," Noya whined. "Don't you want it?"</p><p>He did want it.  God, he wanted it so badly he felt like his knees might give out with the weight of his desire.  And Noya was staring up at him with pupils blown wide, so hopeful and eager to please.  Noya's tongue flicked out to wet his lips, as if preparing, and arousal pulsed heavy and hot through Tanaka's veins.</p><p>But if they didn't have the videos, if this wasn't just two buddies giving each other a helping hand or mouth, if there was nothing between them except heated air and an easily-crossed line, then what was this?</p><p>Tanaka swallowed against the dryness in his throat and took several hasty steps away from the bed and from Noya.  He tried to ignore the way his chest ached at the sight of Noya's crestfallen face, which was easy to do since he had to focus to regain his balance after tripping on the edge of Noya's futon on his bedroom floor.</p><p>"Ryuu," Noya said softly, pleadingly.</p><p>"You can't consent like this, man," Tanaka replied, relieved that some logic was finally coming through even as he swayed on his feet.  The rush of his arousal and subsequent panic was still coursing through him, but with the alcohol and the marijuana in his system, he felt like he was sprinting through molasses. "Neither can I."</p><p>Noya huffed and slumped forward, hanging his head and arms off the edge of the bed. "Yeah, you're right."</p><p>Gratitude flooded through him.  He wasn't sure what he would've done if Noya hadn't accepted that.  He would've had to lock himself in the bathroom or something to avoid a discussion that was probably best had sober.</p><p>Tanaka closed his eyes, and the look on Noya's face flashed in his mind.  The heat, the desire, the yearning…it had all been for Tanaka.  He wasn't turned on because of a porn movie, he wasn't just using Tanaka for physical release, he wasn't just practicing.  He wanted <em>Tanaka</em>, and Tanaka felt like maybe, just maybe—</p><p>"Ryuu," Noya called, breaking Tanaka out of his spiral.</p><p>He opened his eyes and saw Noya had slipped underneath the bedcovers.</p><p>"Let's go to bed," Noya said.</p><p>"Okay," Tanaka replied, nodding.  That was a good idea.  They'd sleep this off and forget all about it by morning.  He moved to the door and closed it, then flicked the lights off. "I'll take the futon."</p><p>"The fuck?  No, get up here."</p><p>Tanaka swallowed. "Noya—"</p><p>"Don't tell me I can't consent to cuddles, Ryuu," Noya growled. "Come <em>oooon</em>."</p><p>A sigh left his lungs, and<em> fuck </em>he was a weak, weak man.  He hated himself for it, but his feet carried him over and into the bed.  Noya pressed close without a moment's hesitation, laying his head on Tanaka's chest before securing an arm and a leg over his body, as if he was scared Tanaka would try to slip away.</p><p>"Good night," Noya mumbled, nuzzling against Tanaka for a moment before falling still, and a moment later he was out like a light.</p><p>Tanaka stared up at his ceiling.  His head swam, and he felt a little like they were laying in a boat adrift on the ocean, tipping and swaying this way and that, causing a roiling nausea in his gut.  But he ignored it and the fear and the self-doubt in favor of putting one arm over Noya's body and covering Noya's outstretched hand with his own.  He listened to Noya's calm breathing and let it steady him, then he finally slipped into sleep.</p><p>/ / /</p><p>When Tanaka woke in the morning, his body felt like it was made of lead.  He shifted his head and felt something tickle his cheek, so he tried to open eyes, but they were heavy and crusty.  He tried to lift his hand to rub at them but found his limbs still didn't want to cooperate.  Finally, he managed to pry his eyes open through the power of his own will, and what little light was coming through the blinds already made his head hurt.</p><p>With his eyes open, he could see at least part of the reason why he couldn't lift his arm earlier: Noya was nestled tightly against his chest, encircled in his arms, head pillowed on his bicep.  Noya's forehead and nose were pressed to Tanaka's sternum with his knees tucked up against Tanaka's ribs.  His sleepy breaths washed against Tanaka's skin in time with the rise and fall of his ribs.  A pressure against the tops of Tanaka's thighs told him Noya's feet rested there.</p><p>Some voice inside told him he should untangle himself from Noya, that he should use this time before Noya was awake to extricate himself from this intimate position, because this was far too close for normal friends.  But he was bone-tired, and he liked this, and he just wanted to enjoy it for a few moments longer while his pounding headache prevented his mind from spiraling into overthinking about this.</p><p>His eyes slid closed again and he sighed, allowing himself to curl even more around the ball of Noya's body.  His head pulsed so hard he thought his brain might explode out his temples, and his throat was awfully, terribly dry.  He smacked his lips and tongue, trying to moisten his mouth, then pressed his nose into Noya's hair even though it was still crusty from yesterday's gel.</p><p>Yesterday.  Their loss.  The cuddling.  The drinking.  The weed.  The almost-blowjob. </p><p><em>Fuck</em>, he thought, too exhausted for anything more eloquent.</p><p>He didn't even know what time it was.  His phone was probably somewhere on the floor of his bedroom, unless he'd left it downstairs in the living room, which was a definite possibility.  Saeko would be coming home at some point.  He hadn't cleaned up the kitchen or put the beer bottles with the recycling or even properly shut down the Wii, and the remotes were still on the floor.  And he was cuddling with his best friend in his bed and wishing it would last forever.</p><p>Tanaka stifled a groan, not wanting to wake Noya quite yet.  He'd been hoping that sleep would come over him again and carry him away to some unconscious place where hangovers and crossed-boundaries didn't exist.  But now that he was aware of his headache, it wasn't letting him rest.</p><p>Now he had a choice: lay here and suffer or get up and suffer.  Part of him wanted to be selfish and stay here, but he didn't want to deal with that that desire meant, so he resolved to get up.  At least this way he could drink some water and figure out their breakfast.</p><p>But when he began to pull his upper arm away in order to shift Noya from his bicep to the pillow, Noya let out a soft whine and pressed himself hard against Tanaka's chest.  The smaller boy unfolded his legs, forcing Tanaka to stretch his out as well, and then one found a place between Tanaka's as he rolled forward, forcing Tanaka onto his back.  Noya shifted his head to Tanaka's chest then placed his small hand at Tanaka's waist and held him close.</p><p>Moments later, Noya's breathing evened out again, and Tanaka resigned himself to the first of his two choices and settled in to lay here until Noya woke.  His heart stuttered in his chest, only adding to his headache, so he calmed himself by using the new freedom granted to his arm from their new position to trace patterns across Noya's back.  The shirt he'd stolen from Tanaka was soft, and the skip and drag of his fingers over the fabric gave him something harmless to focus his attention on.</p><p>It didn't last long, though.  Noya started to stir again after just a few minutes, shifting his legs slightly and burying his face at the juncture of Tanaka's neck and shoulder.  He groaned quietly, and Tanaka knew that Noya was probably feeling just as awful as he was.  Noya rolled forward so he was laying directly on top of Tanaka, fingers digging into Tanaka's sides, and Tanaka had to fight to control his breathing.</p><p>"Feellikeshit," Noya mumbled against Tanaka's neck.</p><p>Tanaka used the heel of his hand to rub bracingly at Noya's back. "Mmhmm."</p><p>Noya sighed and sagged, and Tanaka felt the tension bleed out of him.  Tanaka hummed softly because he knew doing so tended to calm Noya down whenever he was in a mood, even though it was making his head hurt more.  Noya sighed again, but with less annoyance, and then Tanaka thought he felt a pair of lips press to his collarbone—but no, that wasn't right.  It was probably just an accident as Noya was moving his head.</p><p>"This is nice," Noya mumbled. "Nicer than you walking on me, anyway."</p><p>Tanaka chuckled, but it was more a huff of air than anything else.</p><p>"Can we wake up like this all the time?"</p><p>The implication that Noya wanted to wake up cuddling every morning caught in Tanaka's throat.  But instead of asking Noya what he meant by that, he chose to ignore it and asked, "What, hungover?"</p><p>Noya groaned, pushing his face against Tanaka's neck once more.  Tanaka chuckled and continued rubbing Noya's back.  They laid there in silence for several minutes, just listening to each other breathe and feeling the other's heartbeat.</p><p>Then Noya's stomach gave a loud gurgle, and they both started laughing.</p><p>"Breakfast?" Tanaka asked.</p><p>"If you're capable," Noya replied.</p><p>"I got it," Tanaka said.</p><p>"Well, if you insist," Noya said with a dramatic sigh.</p><p>He pulled away from Tanaka and braced his hands on either side of Tanaka's head.  They stared at each other, and Tanaka was very conscious of the way that Noya's hips were pressed into his lower abdomen.</p><p>"G'morning, Ryuu," Noya said softly.</p><p>"M-morning," Tanaka answered, his heartbeat pounding in his chest.</p><p>Noya smiled, still not moving from his position over Tanaka, and the air between them got heavy.  Tanaka felt trapped by both Noya's weight and his gaze, and then he saw Noya's gaze flicker down to Tanaka's lips, and he suddenly felt like he was going to throw up.</p><p>"Gotta—" he started, surging up and pushing Noya away from him.  Noya hit the other side of the bed with a disgruntled "Oof!" but Tanaka couldn't focus on that at the moment.  He rushed out of his bedroom to the bathroom right across the hall and hit his knees, throwing up what little was in his stomach into the toilet.</p><p>His stomach kept contracting for several moments even when it had nothing left to give.  Stink rose from the toilet bowl, his mouth tasted even worse than it had when he woke up, and his head felt like a drumline was marching around inside of it.  He groaned and pressed his forehead to the toilet, enjoying the cool feel of the porcelain against his skin, when a pair of small hands touched his back and began rubbing soothingly.</p><p>"'S okay, Ryuu.  Let it out," Noya said comfortingly.</p><p>The hands disappeared briefly, and Tanaka heard the faucet run before one hand pressed to his back again while the other offered him a cup of water.  He took it gratefully and gargling some water in the back of his throat to rinse out the sick.  Then he spat the water into the toilet and drank the rest of it down in one gulp.</p><p>"Come on, let's stop hugging the toilet bowl," Noya told him, taking the cup back and setting it on the bathroom counter.  He gently began to pull Tanaka away from the toilet.</p><p>"But the toilet's my friend," Tanaka joked.</p><p>"Don't make me jealous," Noya replied wryly.</p><p>Tanaka turned to face him and saw that Noya had slipped on one of Tanaka's sweatshirts. "You know, you have your own clothing here."</p><p>"Shut up," Noya said, hunching his shoulders and hiding the lower half of his face in the large hoodie. "I like yours better."</p><p>Tanaka smiled softly, then rose to his feet and flushed the toilet.  He stood over the sink and swished some mouthwash around his mouth, then spat it out.  With his mouth now minty fresh, he turned to Noya.</p><p>"Breakfast?"</p><p>"You okay to cook?" Noya asked, raising his eyebrows.  He followed Tanaka back into the bedroom.</p><p>"I think there's some leftovers I can heat up."</p><p>Tanaka went to the dresser so he could change out his clothes from yesterday and had to step over his glass from last night, which still had a half-smoked joint in it.  He blushed when he remembered why the joint had been abandoned in the first place.  His memories of last night were largely faded and disjointed, but certain things were crystal clear: the heat of the smoke Tanaka sucked from Noya's lungs, Noya's eager fingers on the skin of his hips, the crushing weight of Tanaka's desire—</p><p>He inhaled deeply, shoving the thoughts to the side.  They were both drunk and high and sad and behaving stupidly.  There was no reason to freak out, no reason to talk about it even.  They'd be better off if they just pretended none of it had happened.</p><p>Noya was apparently thinking along a similar vein, remembering the events of last night, but he clearly arrived at a different conclusion because he said, "Sorry about last night."</p><p>"Don't worry about it," Tanaka said with a shrug as he changed as quickly as he could out of his clothes from yesterday, which smelled like sweat and weed and liquor and bad decisions.</p><p>"Thanks for stopping us.  I, uh…that's now how I would've wanted that to happen," Noya continued.</p><p>Tanaka nodded to himself, relieved that they were on the same page.  Cross-faded consent issues aside, doing things without the porn as a buffer would've crossed a line that they shouldn't.  Sure they've crossed quite a few lines already, and their arrangement had shifted pretty far from the initial mutual masturbation, but the porn was still the focus.  Without it, it would be like they just wanted each other, which of course they didn't.  Last night the hormones and intoxication had just made them get ahead of themselves.  He was sure they wouldn't make that mistake again.</p><p>"Let's forget it," Tanaka said, turning around with a smile.</p><p>Noya hummed in agreement, and Tanaka felt his breathing come a little easier.  He smiled wider and walked past Noya in the doorway of his bedroom.  As he passed, Noya wrapped a hand around Tanaka's bicep to walk with him, which was…new.  But also fine.  Everything was fine.</p><p>They walked downstairs, and Noya separated from him so they could both quickly clean up the mess they'd left in the living room and kitchen last night.  Tanaka found his phone, which sported several missed text messages from his sister, dad, and teammates, but none of them required a response, so he ignored them.</p><p>"Wanna watch a movie?" Tanaka asked.  Normally they'd play video games, but he didn't think their coordination was particularly on point at the moment, and wild camera angles and graphics probably wouldn't help their headaches or nausea.</p><p>"Sure," Noya said, taking a seat on the couch to begin browsing through Netflix.</p><p>Tanaka continued into the kitchen and heated up some of the dinner leftovers from before he and Saeko had left for Sendai.  When he returned to the living room with two bowls of warmed-up rice and curry and two glasses of water, he handed one set to Noya then sat at the end of the couch.  Noya started the movie—some action movie they'd seen several times before—and then immediately scooched across the couch to sit with their sides pressed together, which was…fine.  Everything was still fine and good.</p><p>"When's your dad home again?" Noya asked.</p><p>"Tomorrow afternoon I think," Tanaka replied.</p><p>"My mom says I have to go home tonight," Noya continued, "but you can stay over if you want?"</p><p>"Oh." Tanaka shoved another bite into his mouth, then rested his chopsticks against the bowl as he chewed and thought.  Normally he'd say yes without a moment's hesitation, but Noya's words this morning were echoing around in his head.  <em>Can we wake up like this all the time?</em></p><p>If he stayed over, would Noya ask him to share Noya's bed again instead of taking the futon?  Would Noya want Tanaka to cuddle with him?  Would Noya lay on top of him and put his face in Tanaka's neck?  Would they hold each other and blow sleepy breaths across each other's skin and trace their fingers over their backs?  Would Tanaka want that?</p><p>No, he decided.  This morning was indulgent, born of mutual suffering and being close friends who were comfortable with physical touch, but it was a one-time thing.  It wouldn't happen again.  It didn't need to happen again.  But if Noya asked, he didn't know if he'd be able to say no.</p><p>"I shouldn't," he said, staring at his food. "Saeko probably wants me here."</p><p>"Right," Noya replied, accepting the excuse easily even though they both knew Saeko didn’t really give a fuck. "Next time, then."</p><p>"Next time," Tanaka agreed, and meant it.  If they took a little break, then everything between them would probably go back to normal, and everything would be fine again.  It was already fine.  Everything was fine.</p><p>They finished their food around the same time, and Noya stacked his bowl on top of Tanaka's and took both to the kitchen to set in the sink.  When he came back, he grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the arm chair and threw it over both of them, sitting close once again.  Then Noya lifted Tanaka's arm and put it around him, snuggling up to Tanaka's chest and throwing his legs over Tanaka's lap underneath the blanket, which was…Tanaka didn't know.  It was probably fine.  Everything was fine.</p><p>Noya rested a hand on Tanaka's stomach, head leaned against Tanaka's collarbone, and he settled in to continue watching the movie.  Tanaka swallowed, then carefully put his hand on Noya's hip over the blanket and willed his heart to stop hammering away at his ribs.</p><p>He wasn't sure why he felt so strange around Noya lately.  Last night had gone too far, of course, and Noya had been curiously clingy all morning, but what they were doing wasn't too far out of their realm of normalcy.  Tanaka had always been a person who showed affection through physical touch, and Noya had never minded, had even encouraged it sometimes.</p><p>It was just an off day, he decided, and they'd be back to normal soon enough.  For now, they just needed to focus on nursing their hangovers and getting through the weekend.</p><p>Noya's breathing got deeper and his body relaxed fully against Tanaka's, and Tanaka knew that his friend was asleep.  A nap didn't sound too bad, he thought, and rested his cheek on Noya's head.  Maybe when he woke up, everything would be fine again.</p><p>/ / /</p><p>Everything was fine again.</p><p>"Ahh, <em>fuck</em>," Noya groaned as Tanaka twisted his fingers over the head of his cock.</p><p>Things were back to normal.</p><p>"Oh yeah, yeah," Tanaka panted, rocking his hips slightly with the rhythm Noya had established with his hand over Tanaka's dick.</p><p>It was all good.</p><p>Two weeks had passed since their defeat at Qualifiers and their subsequent night of substance-abuse.  That Saturday, Tanaka and Noya had been woken from their nap by Saeko's return home.  She'd burst into the door shouting Tanaka's name, startling them into almost falling off the couch.  After dealing with her consolations and rib-crushing hugs for each of them, they'd retreated upstairs to do some homework before Noya went home alone.  Their goodbye was a little awkward, since Noya seemed to know there was some reason Tanaka didn't want to spend the night besides his lame excuse of Saeko, but neither of them said anything.</p><p>The next day, when they met up to study for their upcoming history exam, any lingering weirdness between them was gone.  They watched porn and jerked each other off and studied, and there were no strange pauses or unnecessarily spiked heart rates.  Tanaka and Noya were completely, perfectly normal, and continued to be for the past couple weeks.</p><p>Sure, Noya was maybe more touchy-feely than usual lately—taking Tanaka's arm when they walked places, cuddling up to him without reason, and touching Tanaka with more intimacy and intent than before—but it was nothing to freak out over.  And maybe Tanaka's eyes lingered on Noya a little longer than needed, and he had to resist randomly reaching out and touching Noya at any given time, but none of that mattered really.</p><p>It was just who they were: a pair of best friends who were really, really close.</p><p>"Fuck yeah, Ryuu," Noya growled, tipping his head back against the wall.</p><p>The indecency in his voice sent a thrill through Tanaka's body.  He dragged his fist back up Noya's dick, pressing his fingers into the big vein on the underside that drove Noya crazy, and sure enough Noya let out a little whine, biting his lip and shuddering.  His hand lost its tempo a bit, distracted by the pleasure Tanaka was giving him, and Tanaka smiled triumphantly.</p><p>On the laptop screen, three men were ravishing a busty woman's body.  She was on her back, allowing two of the men to take turns fucking her mouth while the other went down on her.  It was a randomly chosen video.  Noya had just selected it from PornFun's homepage two seconds after the site had loaded.  He'd been doing that lately, seeming to not care so much about the porn as he did about tending to Tanaka's erection.  Tanaka wasn't sure how to feel about that, but as long as they had some sort of porn he didn't much mind.</p><p>"God, Ryuu, you're so good," Noya moaned. "So, so good."</p><p>"You too," Tanaka grunted.</p><p>It was true.  Noya pumped away at Tanaka's dick, sliding easily over his length thanks to the mix of precum and saliva that Noya had spat into his hand before taking Tanaka into his grip minutes earlier.  Tanaka's heart hammered in his chest, and he gasped out his approval as Noya pressed his thumb to Tanaka's slit, then dragged his hand back down.  He had to concentrate hard to keep up the rhythm he'd established on Noya's cock.</p><p>"I…I want…" Noya panted, "I want more."</p><p>More?  Tanaka pursed his lips.  He hadn't been blowing Noya lately, wanting to put some more metaphorical distance between them in terms of their sexual intimacy.  He had a theory that taking Noya into his mouth, performing that primal act, was one of the things that was screwing with his head and thought it was for the best to hold off.   Noya had no such reservations, though, and had sucked him off almost every day for the past two weeks.</p><p>Still, despite his resolve, if Noya really wanted a blowjob, then Tanaka wouldn't be the one to tell him no.  He kind of missed it, anyway, missed the deep, raw pleasure that came from giving good head and feeling Noya's arousal leaking on to his tongue as his cock twitched in Tanaka's mouth.</p><p>He licked his lips in anticipation and was about to start leaning over when Noya spoke again.</p><p>"Ryuu, do you trust me?" Noya panted.</p><p>"Of course," Tanaka grunted. "What—"</p><p>But then Noya's hand was suddenly gone, and his friend was moving.  He sat forward on Tanaka's bed and turned over onto his knees, throwing his right leg over Tanaka's spread thighs as he twisted around.  His left ankle knocked the laptop off the edge of the bed as he adjusted into his new position, and Tanaka heard it land on Noya's futon and snap shut, cutting the video's audio off mid-moan. </p><p>A panic rose in his chest, his eyes fixed on the spot on the bed where the laptop had resided.  He was about to protest, about to do something to retrieve the laptop and the safety of the porn buffer when Noya rolled his hips forward, sliding their erections against each other.</p><p>Tanaka inhaled sharply, realizing that he had a lap full of his naked best friend, who had one hand braced on Tanaka's shoulder, his breath hot and fast in Tanaka's ear, and the other hand around both of their cocks.</p><p>"F-Fuck," Tanaka groaned, hands going automatically to Noya's hips, not quite believing what was happening.</p><p>Noya flexed his legs, knees pressing into Tanaka's hips, and rocked his hips again, the tip of his cock bumping against Tanaka's belly before he pulled back again, dragging his slick erection against Tanaka's own through the tight grip of his hand.  Tanaka moaned and turned his head to the side, pressing his cheek against Noya's, and he felt a warm tongue dart out to trace the edge of his ear.  His fingers dug into the skin of Noya's waist as a cry tore itself from his throat, goosebumps rising on his skin.</p><p>Humming with pleasure, Noya lightly nibbled at Tanaka's ear, then his neck, and brought his hand up from Tanaka's shoulder to the back of his head.  He used the leverage to bring Tanaka's head forward, pushing Tanaka's face into his shoulder.  Tanaka rested his forehead against Noya's collarbone, feeling every flex and roll of Noya's body as he writhed in ecstasy over him.  Tanaka's breaths came out heavy and labored, panting against Noya's skin, dizzy with pleasure and disbelief.</p><p>His hands slid lower down to the bend of Noya's thighs, then around to cup Noya's butt.  He helped guide Noya through his thrusting motions even as every voice in his head was telling him to stop what he was doing, because this was too far, too far, <em>way too fucking far</em>.  There might not be any coming back from this, he knew, and he should end this before it went even further, but then Noya was moaning his name, and Tanaka could feel the vibrations through where he was pressed to Noya's neck, and he became nothing more than a servant to his basest urges.</p><p>Sharp pleasure coursed through Tanaka's veins, sped along by the adrenaline from his panic and racing heart, but Tanaka knew this could be even better.  Noya's grip on them was fine, but his hand was too small to <em>really</em> grasp them both, so Tanaka slid one hand from Noya's butt to the meeting of their sexes and replaced Noya's hand with his own.</p><p>"Oh fuck," Noya whimpered, and his left hand clawed across the back of Tanaka's head.</p><p>Noya placed both his hands on either side of Tanaka's neck and pulled his head away from Noya's shoulder to press their foreheads together.  Tanaka swiped his thumb over each of their tips, mixing their precum, and he dragged his hand back down the length of them.  The stimulation and slick slide of skin was so, so good, but even better was Noya panting over Tanaka's open mouth, their breaths mingling between them.</p><p>They must've pressed even closer together, because now their noses touched, and Tanaka opened his eyes to find Noya staring into his.  There was no porn here to distract them from each other, no guise to hide behind.  All they had was heat and desire and arousal, and the wanting washed over Tanaka like a powerful wave.</p><p>A burning desperation started in Tanaka's belly, threatening to claw its way up his throat even as he tried swallowing it down.  Noya's tongue darted out to wet his lips, and Tanaka's eyes dropped down to follow the movement before flicking back up to Noya's.  His breath rattled in his chest.</p><p>This was his best friend in his lap, fucking his dick against Tanaka's in the circle of Tanaka's fingers, writhing on top of him, moaning hot and loud, focused entirely on him.  It should feel weird, it should feel wrong, and some voice in the back of his head was trying to tell him it was, but for once he didn't listen.  In reality, this felt completely, naturally right, and he wanted this, he wanted more, he <em>wanted</em>—well, he wasn't exactly sure what he wanted, but he was beginning to think it was right in front of him.</p><p>"Ryuu," Noya croaked, and Tanaka couldn't stand it anymore.</p><p>He loved the way Noya said his name.  He always had, ever since that first day in the park all those years ago.  It sounded different from the way his dad and his sister and anybody else said it, almost like they were saying it wrong and Noya was the only one to ever get it right.  Noya spoke it carefully, almost reverently, like his name—and therefore Tanaka himself—were something special, something to be treasured.</p><p>And he loved the way Noya said it now, wrecked and full of wanting, just like he did when he discovered Tanaka in his doorway back in August.  Tanaka wanted to hear it said like that again and again, had been subconsciously chasing it for months now, and he thought maybe Noya didn't like his own first name much because nobody said it right either.  He wondered if he was the only one who could.</p><p>Tanaka looked into Noya's eyes, into pupils so wide he could hardly see the ring of hazel that surrounded them, and whispered, "Yuu."</p><p>Noya gasped and shuddered, and then they were kissing.</p><p>He wasn't quite sure which one of them moved first, but the moment their lips touched he felt a shock go through him like he'd been snagged by an electric wire.  He was quite certain he would've passed out if it weren't for the sensation of Noya's fingers digging in to the back of his neck.  They were like ten little pressure points keeping him tethered to the earth instead of floating away into the atmosphere.</p><p>Their lips slid sloppily across each other, getting saliva all over their mouths and chins in their feverish attempts to consume each other.  Noya had pressed forward, bringing their bodies flush together, and Tanaka's hand was trapped between their stomachs, unable to stroke them at this angle.  He wasn't concerned with that at the moment, however, and it didn't seem like Noya was either.  He felt he would be satisfied if their mouths never separated again, if he only breathed the air that came from Noya's lungs for the rest of his life.</p><p>He'd had a fair amount of practice with kissing, and he considered himself pretty good at it, but the couple girls he'd kissed before had been nothing like this.  Kissing Noya was like kissing a wild animal, what with the way he bit and attacked and pressed bruising kisses to Tanaka's mouth.  He almost felt like they were fighting, throwing punches with their lips and teeth and tongues instead of their fists, and he was certain he was losing, but he didn't mind one bit.</p><p>Tanaka's left arm had secured itself around Noya's waist, crushing the smaller boy to him as best he could and locking him in place.  His heart was hammering in his chest, absolutely battering away at his ribs, and he was sure it would've burst out of him by now if Noya wasn't pressed so tightly to him.  Noya rolled his body again, pushing against Tanaka like he thought it was possible to be even closer than they already were.  Their cocks rubbed together and against Tanaka's hand, still pinned between their bellies, and Noya gasped.</p><p>The smaller boy threw his head back, moaning in pleasure as he rocked his hips back and forth in Tanaka's lap.  Tanaka leaned forward and latched onto Noya's neck to give his mouth something to do.  If his lips weren't occupied, he was scared he might do something stupid like ask one of the million questions burning in the back of his mind.</p><p>Instead, he sucked and nibbled at the skin and enjoyed the way Noya shuddered and cried out.  Now that their torsos weren't pressed so tightly together, he resumed the movements of his hand, beginning a sharp, quick rhythm up and down their dicks.  Noya let out a high, keening wail as his hands scratched from Tanaka's neck to his shoulders, then stroked down his arms.  His hands wandered forward, trailing over muscles built up by years of volleyball and working out, and paused on his pecs.  Noya's fingers danced over Tanaka's nipples, then suddenly pinched and twisted, and Tanaka cried out, hips jerking underneath Noya.</p><p>"Oh yeah, baby," Noya moaned, sounding pleased as he pressed a kiss to Tanaka's temple and continued abusing his nipples. "<em>Fuck</em> yeah."</p><p>Tanaka responded by twisting his wrist sharply and adding the rocking of his own hips to the rhythm.  He smoothed his tongue over the red bruise he'd left on Noya's neck, then sank his teeth into the meaty flesh joining Noya's neck with his shoulder.  Noya straight up <em>mewled</em>, body jolting in Tanaka's hold, then hooked his fingers behind Tanaka's jaw to drag him up into another searing kiss.</p><p>For the first time in his life, Tanaka didn't want to orgasm.  Orgasming meant stopping, and stopping meant something else would come next, and that something else was likely to be a discussion full of questions that Tanaka didn't know the answers to.  He just wanted to enjoy this and not question why he enjoyed making out and having sex with his best friend.</p><p>But nothing lasted forever, especially not sex, and he knew they were both close.  Noya's thighs started shaking, and he whimpered into Tanaka's mouth as they kissed.  Tanaka could feel the rising heat in his own stomach, his body jolting and clenching.  He brought the hand that was on Noya's waist up so he could bury the fingers in Noya's hair, and Noya whined against him.</p><p>A heavy ache began in Tanaka's chest as he crushed their faces together, and he tried to memorize the way this felt: Noya's sweaty thighs flexing over his lap, the hot twitch and slide of their cocks in his hand, Noya's desperate fingers against his jaw and the sweet taste of his mouth.  Tears burned at the corners of his eyes, then Noya gave one final roll of his hips, and their climaxes were upon them.</p><p>At first, Tanaka wasn't sure he was orgasming as much as he was having a heart attack, the sharp ecstasy coursing violently through his body.  Their mouths stayed stubbornly together, both shouting their pleasure into the shared airspace, and his hand kept mindlessly stroking them as their release streaked over their chests and stomachs.  He shuddered uncontrollably, white-hot bliss clouding his mind and vision for several long minutes.</p><p>Noya's tongue brought him back to earth, the tip tracing his lips before licking into his open mouth.  Tanaka closed his lips around it and sucked, and Noya moaned softly.  His hands cupped Tanaka's cheeks, and they traded kisses slowly back and forth.  Tanaka's hands were on Noya's waist again, thumbs pressed to his hipbones as their mouths slid together and apart again and again like waves on a beach.</p><p>Tanaka didn't want to stop, didn't want to wake up from whatever feverish dream this was, but their cum was drying and becoming uncomfortably sticky between them, and the reality of what they'd just done was beginning to crash down around him.  The tears that he'd felt brimming were back, itching behind his eyelids as panic seized his heart once more.</p><p>Noya pulled his mouth away and rested his forehead against Tanaka's shoulder and moved his hands to link them behind Tanaka's neck.  Tanaka wanted to move his hands too, wanted to hug Noya and hold him and never let him go, but he was frozen in place.  A feather-light kiss was placed on his collarbone, and Tanaka ground his teeth together.</p><p>"Damn, that was…" Noya mumbled, breaking the silence.</p><p>Tanaka should've said something like, "Yeah," or "Tell me about it," or, "We should talk about this."  If he was a rational, logical man in control of his feelings, he would've said any of those things.</p><p>Instead, he said, "I think I should go."</p><p>He felt Noya go stiff, and then pull his head away from Tanaka's shoulder to look at him, but Tanaka had his eyes squeezed tightly shut.</p><p>"This is your house," Noya said slowly, carefully, but Tanaka could hear the edge in his voice along with the confusion.</p><p>"Right," Tanaka said, flushing with embarrassment and dread.  He didn't want to do this.  He didn't think he could do this.  He didn't know how to do this.  So he wouldn't do this. "Then, um, I think you should go."</p><p>Noya inhaled sharply, and Tanaka stopped breathing.  He lifted his hands from Noya's hips and set them down on the bed, curling his fingers into his bedsheets so they didn't wander and cause further damage.</p><p>Finally, after several long moments, Noya sucked his teeth and huffed in annoyance. "Ryuu, look at me."</p><p>He shook his head.</p><p>"Ryuu."</p><p>"I—"</p><p>"<em>Ryuu</em>."</p><p>"Just, please," he whispered.</p><p>He heard Noya's teeth grind together, and then he spat, "Right.  Yeah.  Of course."  The smaller man lifted himself off of Tanaka's thighs, and the absence of his weight and heat made Tanaka's heart hurt.  He bit his lip and listened as Noya grumbled to himself and moved about the room, likely throwing on his clothes and locating his phone.</p><p>The bedroom door opened, and Noya walked out, and Tanaka knew that if he opened his eyes that the tears would fall fast and heavy.</p><p>Then, suddenly, Noya walked back in, and he felt a dampened cloth wipe at his cum-covered abdomen.</p><p>"I'm gonna go," Noya said gruffly. "Clearly you need some space.  But, Ryuu, we have to talk about this, okay?"</p><p>Tanaka didn't say anything, didn't even move a muscle.  He was too busy trying to imagine what his life would look like if he never left his room ever again.</p><p>Noya pulled his hand and the cloth away, lingering just a little longer. "Okay then.  See you at school tomorrow."</p><p>His feet padded across the floor, then through the doorway.  The door closed, and Tanaka heard the stairs creak as Noya made his way down them.  He didn't open his eyes until the front door slammed shut.</p><p>When he did, he was greeted by the sight of an empty bedroom and the crushing weight of guilt carving his ribcage open.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Honey, they've got a big storm comin'!</p><p>Porn videos in this chapter:<br/>- M/F scene about a dominatrix and a sub man.  The scene features BDSM, restraints, anal fingering, and dildo usage<br/>- Mention of a video paused on a frame of a woman tied up and getting her breasts paddled<br/>- Mention of a video featuring three men and a woman, mentioning fellatio and cunnilingus</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Deep-Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tanaka did not see Noya at school the next day.  In fact, he tried his hardest to <em>not</em> see Noya, which was unsurprisingly difficult, considering that he usually tried to do the opposite.  They weren't in the same class, which helped, and for the first time he was glad volleyball was over so they didn't have to be at practice together.  All he had to do was spend break and lunch in different spots, adjust his timing, and take an alternate walk home.</p><p>When he got home Monday afternoon, he hadn't seen Noya at all.  He tried convincing himself it was a good thing.  They needed some space from each other.  Their wires had gotten crossed, and they just needed a reset.  It was the right choice, he told himself.</p><p>The cavernous abyss in his chest told him otherwise.</p><p>Noya hadn't texted him at all on Monday, perhaps sensing that Tanaka still wanted some distance, but that silence ended by Tuesday morning.  Noya texted him saying he was on his way over so they could walk to school together, and Tanaka had never gotten ready so fast in his life.  He slipped out of the house and ran the alternate route he'd taken home yesterday.  When he arrived at the school, he was a full thirty minutes early, and he spent his time in the library until he had just a minute left to make it to class.</p><p>Tanaka had to put his phone in do not disturb mode in class because Noya was texting him repeatedly, asking where he'd been this morning and where he was and if they could meet up, and the constant vibrations were garnering him odd looks from his classmates.  He spent lunch in the library this time, figuring it to be a pretty safe spot since it was usually the last place he and Noya chose to be.  After school he dipped into a janitor's closet to hide because Noya had spotted him, screaming his name from down the hall, and he stayed there for twenty minutes just to make extra sure Noya was gone, and shame burned in his stomach at he walked home.</p><p>On Wednesday, he got to school an hour early and holed up with his homework in a back corner of the library.  Noya had apparently recruited Ennoshita and the other third years into blowing up his phone, so he shut it off entirely.  Unfortunately for him, Kinoshita was in his class, and when Tanaka walked in two seconds before the late bell his former teammate looked like he might try to talk to him, but Tanaka shot him a death glare and Kinoshita shook his head, wisely deciding not to get into it.</p><p>By Thursday, Tanaka had to get extra creative with his avoidance techniques.  Noya had figured out that Tanaka was not going to be in any of their usual spots, so he started searching all the unusual spots.  He appeared in the library during lunch and Tanaka hid like a child underneath one of the study tables, much to the annoyance of the student sitting there.  He gave the dude 500 yen as thanks for not ratting him out.</p><p>That day Noya had also gotten everybody else they knew to text Tanaka too, and his phone was chock full of confused encouragements from most of the team to text Noya back.</p><p> </p><p><b>Sawamura Daichi</b>: Why are you avoiding Noya?  Did something happen?</p><p> </p><p><b>Yamamoto Taketora:</b> hey dude!!!  noya says u need to txt him back?  wat's up?</p><p> </p><p><b>Hinata Shouyou</b>: TANAKA-SENPAI!!!!<br/><b>Hinata Shouyou</b>: TEXT NOYA-SENPAI!!!!<br/><b>Hinata Shouyou</b>: AND PLZ<br/><b>Hinata Shouyou</b>: PLZ<br/><b>Hinata Shouyou</b>: COME TO SPIKING PRACTICE FRIDAY!!!!</p><p> </p><p><b>Yachi Hitoka</b>: I hope everything's okay with u and Noya!!</p><p> </p><p><b>Sugawara Koushi</b>: Are you fighting with Noya???  Wtf?<br/><b>Sugawara Koushi</b>: Isn't this like your first fight<br/><b>Sugawara Koushi</b>: Text me, I want deets</p><p> </p><p><b>Ennoshita Chikara</b>: Stop hiding from your problems, Tanaka</p><p> </p><p><b>Kinoshita Hisashi</b>: Idk what's up w/u but plz text Noya back<br/><b>Kinoshita Hisashi</b>: He's getting annoying asf</p><p> </p><p><b>Shibata Sanji</b>: Noya-senpai says to text him back</p><p> </p><p><b>Azumane Asahi</b>: Nishinoya says to tell you to text him<br/><b>Azumane Asahi</b>: Why aren't you texting him?<br/><b>Azumane Asahi</b>: Are you in a fight?<br/><b>Azumane Asahi</b>: He seems really sad<br/><b>Azumane Asahi</b>: I hope everything is okay &lt;3</p><p> </p><p><b>Yamaguchi Tadashi</b>: Noya says you need to answer his texts.  Are you okay?</p><p> </p><p><b>Hasegawa Eiji</b>: nishinoya-senpai says ur not answering his texts<br/><b>Hasegawa Eiji</b>: is ur phone broken or smth?<br/><b>Hasegawa Eiji</b>: wait<br/><b>Hasegawa Eiji</b>: if ur phone is broken u wouldn’t see this<br/><b>Hasegawa Eiji</b>: nvm<br/><b>Hasegawa Eiji</b>: but if ur phone isnt broken u should text him back</p><p> </p><p><strong>Kageyama</strong> <strong>Tobio</strong>: "Fw: TELL RYUU TO FUCKING TEXT ME BACK!!!"</p><p> </p><p><b>Tsukishima Kei</b>: Text Nishinoya.<br/><b>Tsukishima Kei</b>: Or don't.  I literally don't care.</p><p> </p><p><b>Narita Kazuhito</b>: Hey, I dunno what's going on, but I'm here if you need to chat</p><p> </p><p>Noya had sent his fair share of texts too, though over the past few days they've gone from "Hey, just checking in" and "Please reply, I'm freaking out" to "Get your head out of your ass, Ryuu" and "I'm going to murder you if you don't text me back."</p><p>Tanaka noticed, as he cleared out his missed notifications on Thursday afternoon, that Noya hadn't yet roped Saeko into his guerrilla texting ring.  She was probably going to be his last resort, bringing in the big guns at the last minute.  Tanaka knew that if Noya enlisted Saeko's help that he was done for.  She'd probably sit on him until he texted Noya back, or lock him in his bedroom and keep him there until Noya got to the house and they could talk.</p><p>Saeko knew something was up, of course, but she hadn't pressed him too hard yet.  On Sunday when she got home from work to find him huddled in a mound of blankets on his bed instead of meal prepping in the kitchen like usual, she was immediately concerned.  He'd lied and told her it was a stomach bug, and she accepted it easily and bought him soup from the konbini.</p><p>But Noya's absence from their lives couldn't go unmissed—the only time Noya hadn't been over to their house for more than a day was when he got mono in their last year of middle school—and there was no telling how much Katsumi knew and was telling her.  Saeko had been asking after Noya more and more and sending Tanaka suspicious looks.  Like today, when he'd slipped into the house via the back door forty-five minutes later than usual without Noya in tow and she looked at him like he was insane.  He gave her an excuse of hiding from their next door neighbor and hid upstairs.</p><p>Avoiding Noya like this was one of the hardest things he'd ever done.  Not just because of the thousand hoops he had to jump through to steer clear of Noya, which was par for the course when two lives were as intrinsically intertwined as theirs were, but because doing so felt like he was ripping his heart into shreds and carving a chasm into their friendship.  Pushing Noya away went against ever instinct in his body, but he had to do it.</p><p>He couldn't talk to Noya about what happened because he wouldn't know what to say.  Every time he thought about it, tried to process and work through it, his brain shut down out of self-defense.  All he knew for sure was that it had been a giant mistake.</p><p>Because it was a mistake, right?  That was all it could be.  Even though it didn't feel like a mistake when it was happening.  Even though it had felt like the stars and planets were aligning above them as their mouths opened to each other.  Even though it had felt so, <em>so</em> right.</p><p>But it wasn't right.  It was wrong.  One hundred percent, completely, totally wrong.  Tanaka didn't want to do those things with Noya.  He didn't want to do them with a boy.  He wanted to do them with a girl.</p><p>Maybe he <em>needed</em> to do them with a girl.</p><p>He pulled his phone out of his pocket, then navigated to the app store and downloaded the newest popular dating app, DateFindr.  Setting up his profile was quick and easy, with the most difficult part being trying to find a photo of himself that wasn't a selfie with Noya.  He settled on a group photo from the training camp barbecue last year, carefully cropping out Noya who had been sitting next to him.  Then he set about scrolling through all the single women interested in single men and felt the comfort of familiarity drape itself over him.</p><p>By the time he was walking home from school the next day, he had a date for that very evening with a cute girl named Saito Akina.  She was a second year and a volleyball fan since last year.  Her interests included American rock bands, dance, scrapbooking, and, apparently, Tanaka.</p><p>Tanaka was almost in shock at how easy it had been to acquire a date once he'd actually put some effort in, no matter how minimal it had been.  For years he'd dreamed of his life playing out like a great romance, complete with a secret admirer and dramatic love confessions and a happily ever after.  He'd been content with waiting for it to happen, with waiting for the right girl to come along and fall for him, but now he thought maybe the right girl was waiting for him to do the same.  He owed it to her to try, anyway.</p><p>His phone was still blowing up with text messages, mostly from Hinata and Mamoru who were begging him to come to spiking practice tonight.  With a smile on his face, he texted them back and told them he couldn't, because he had a date.  They blew up his phone even more after that, now begging for details and a picture of her, but he left them hanging and put his phone back in his pants.</p><p>Noya's text thread was suspiciously silent.  The last one Tanaka had received was from last night at 9:52PM: <em>You're a goddamn fucking coward</em>.</p><p>That one really hurt because it was true.  This avoidance behavior of his wasn't like him.  He never really got depressed or stuck his head about things.  Troubles usually hit him and stuck for a second, then rolled right off.  Of course, he also usually had Noya to rely on for help in those instances when things got tough.  But that wasn't an option right now.</p><p>Tanaka wondered if Noya was going to be at practice tonight.  A libero wouldn't have much to do at spiking practice, but Sanji and Noya could practice their receives.  Hinata and Mamoru would probably tell everybody that Tanaka was on a date, and maybe if Noya heard—if he knew that Tanaka was moving on from the incident and focusing his sexual energy on a girl like he was supposed to—that he'd quit insisting that they had to <em>talk</em> and <em>work things out</em> and they could just go back to normal.</p><p>Really, he should've known it wouldn't be that simple.</p><p>He let himself into his house and pulled his phone out of his pocket to turn off do not disturb.  As he did so, he noticed at the top of his phone screen, above the mountain of unread text messages, were five missed calls from Noya.  His blood went cold at the sight.  Noya hardly ever called, only when it was really urgent, and Tanaka always answered.  He'd only ever ignored Noya calling him once in their last year of middle school, and Noya made him regret it for months.  Now he'd missed <em>five</em> calls.</p><p>And, as if by magic or fate or unfortunate circumstances, the phone started ringing again right then and there.  Without thinking, he pressed the green circle.</p><p>"…bably not gonna answer, like a—wait.  Ryuu?" Noya's voice came so loudly through the speaker that Tanaka flinched and held it away from him even though it hadn't been anywhere near his ear.</p><p>His veins rushed with panic and anxiety.  This was a mistake.  He shouldn't have answered, he should've just ignored it, damn what consequences came after, he should—</p><p>"Ryuu?  Answer me!" Noya shouted.</p><p>Tanaka brought the phone to his face. "Yeah."</p><p>A heavy sigh crackled in his ear. "Fucking finally."</p><p>He waited with his heart in his throat for whatever reprimands were sure to follow, but all that came was some ragged breathing.</p><p>"Y-you there?" Tanaka asked, his voice tight.</p><p>"Yeah," Noya answered, softer all of a sudden. "Shit.  I-I've been rehearsing what I'd say to you for five fucking days, and now I can finally say it and I've got…absolutely fuck all."</p><p>Tanaka nodded because he felt the same way.  He'd run through his rationalizations probably about a thousand times, but he couldn't remember the first item on the list if his life depended on it.</p><p>"<em>Shit</em>," Noya whispered, and he sounded exhausted. "Can we meet up?  Please?  I don't want to do this over the phone."</p><p>"I…" He shivered at the thought of seeing Noya.  Even imagining it was too much. "I can't."</p><p>Noya paused. "You <em>can't?</em>  What, are you going to practice?  Just skip it, man—"</p><p>"No, I—um…I have a, well—"</p><p>"Have what?  Chlamydia?  Cause if so, you didn't get it from me," Noya joked, but it came out strained and awkward.</p><p>Tanaka flushed at reference to Sunday afternoon, and his words came out in a nervous rush, "Ihaveadate."</p><p>He heard Noya's sharp inhale hiss through the speaker. "What?" he asked after an excruciatingly long pause.</p><p>"I, ah, have a date.  With a girl.  Tonight."</p><p>"A date."</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"You have a date."</p><p>"Mm."</p><p>"You're going on a <em>date</em>."</p><p>Tanaka didn't respond.  His voice dried up in his throat.  He could imagine Noya twisting up his nose, gnashing his teeth as he fought to find the right words.  His shoulders were probably hunched, his free hand fisted in his jacket.  If he was standing outside he'd be grinding the toe of his shoe into the pavement, but if he was sitting his leg was probably bouncing uncontrollably.  The chasm in Tanaka's heart got wider.</p><p>"Yeah.  Sure.  Great.  Have fun," Noya spat, then the phone beeped, and the connection was gone.</p><p>His knees went wobbly, and he staggered over to sit at the edge of the genkan.  His phone hit the floor, but he didn't pay it any mind, just put his head in his hands and tried to breathe.</p><p>"Ryuu?"</p><p><em>Saeko</em>.  Shit.  How much had she heard?  What did she know?  How could he play this off?  When had—</p><p>Her hand touched his shoulder lightly, and he hadn't realized he was shaking until her touch stilled him.</p><p>"Who was on the phone?" she asked, her voice soft. "Was it Yuu?"</p><p>He nodded.  She sat beside him and put her arm over his shoulders.  They were too broad for her to really reach all the way, but it was comforting nonetheless.  He leaned into her and inhaled slowly through his nose, then exhaled out his mouth.</p><p>"Do you want to talk about it?"</p><p>He shook his head, and she squeezed the top of his shoulder.</p><p>"Okay.  Do you want to just sit here for a bit?"</p><p>He nodded again, and she told him about her day in light tones.  She hadn't been this gentle with him since their mother died.  Usually if he was down or being dramatic she'd kick him around until he fessed up to what was bothering him.  Then she'd make fun of him for making a big deal out of nothing or spit out some sage advice that would almost magically fix his problem.</p><p>But somehow she could tell whatever was happening with him and Noya was bigger than all of that, and it terrified him.</p><p>/ / /</p><p>"I can't believe my baby brother is getting all dolled up and going on a date," Saeko sighed dramatically a couple hours later, leaning against the wall and putting her hand to her face. "I also can't believe you duped some poor girl into going out with you."</p><p>"Hey!" Tanaka protested as he exchanged his house slippers for his nicer pair of sneakers.  'Dolled up' was an exaggeration.  All he'd done was put on his one pair of jeans with no holes in it and a button-down from the back of his closet.  He'd also sprayed on a bit of his dad's cologne, though, so it wasn't like there was zero effort.</p><p>"Hold the door for her, don't be rude, ask her about herself, don't act like a creepy internet date," she instructed, lifting a finger with each of her points like she was counting off a mental list.</p><p>"Saeko," he groaned, then resisted the urge to rub at his eyes, which were still felt dry and raw from the bit of crying he absolutely hadn't done while sitting on the floor being comforted by his older sister.  That definitely didn't happen.  She also definitely didn't use some of her makeup on him to fix it so he didn't look like he'd been crying.</p><p>"Now, should I wait up for you, or are you planning on turning this into a sleepover?" Saeko asked mischievously.</p><p>"Please stop talking," Tanaka begged, his cheeks going red.  He was a little grateful for her teasing, though, as it helped get his mind off of the phone call earlier.  His cell phone was in his pocket, and he absentmindedly fingered the corner where a small new dent had appeared from dropping it.</p><p>"Okay, okay," she conceded.</p><p>He stepped up to the edge of the genkan and presented himself for inspection.  Saeko reached out to straighten his collar, then tucked the front part of his shirt into his waistband.  She pushed on his shoulders, and he gave a slow turn around.</p><p>"Not too shabby," she said, reaching up and rubbing his head. "Go have fun."</p><p>"Thanks," he told her, then grabbed his jacket off the hook and stepped out into the snow.</p><p>The date was going to be casual: dinner at a yakitori restaurant they both liked and then they'd hit up an arcade.  Nothing special, nothing extravagant, just a regular guy and a regular girl going out on a regular date.  Like he was supposed to do.</p><p>When he walked up to the restaurant, he saw a girl leaning against the building.  She was wearing a large gray coat over what looked to be a pink dress with black tights and boots.  A black knit cap sat snugly on her head, and her brown hair came just past her shoulders and curled up at the ends.  When she turned her head and noticed him, she smiled.</p><p>Tanaka's heart rate picked up, and he took a steadying breath as he approached.  Good, good, this was good.</p><p>"Saito?" he asked.</p><p>Her smile widened. "Yes!  And you're Tanaka!"</p><p>"Yep!" He nodded at the restaurant. "Well, shall we?"</p><p>They went inside and ordered food and had a pleasant conversation.  She told him about her favorite local arts and craft store where she purchased all her scrapbooking supplies.  He asked her about dancing, and she asked him about volleyball.  They talked about their families, and he learned that she also had an older sister.  She was fun to talk to, a little raucous and loud just like him, and he felt more and more at ease the longer they chatted.</p><p>When they went to the arcade, he beat her on all the racing games, but she crushed him at DDR.  They were fairly evenly matched at pinball, and they both agreed that the retro games were the best part of any arcade.  She laughed when they played the basketball game and he served each ball straight into the net.  And, when he was sucking at the shoot-em-up, she put her hands over his and guided him, and he was so nervous his throat went dry.</p><p>"I had fun," she told him as he walked her home.</p><p>"I did too," he replied, because it was true.</p><p>The date <em>was</em> fun.  They enjoyed each other's company, and he genuinely found her funny and interesting and charming.  He also thought she was very , and he blushed when he looked at her face too long.  There was nothing wrong with her, or with the date, and yet…</p><p>And yet he couldn't help but feel like there was something missing.</p><p>It probably had something to do with the fact that he'd felt the need to edit Noya out of each one of his stories whenever she asked him about his life.  Or how any time she relayed a funny story or an interesting fact, he instinctively thought about how Noya would react to it.  Or how at the arcade he caught himself comparing her game techniques to Noya's.</p><p>"Well, this is me," Saito said, interrupting his train of thought.  They'd stopped in front of a nice house with a large tree in the yard, the branches picturesquely covered with snow. "I liked hanging out with you.  If you want to do it again, just text me."</p><p>"I—uh, yeah," he replied, staring down at his feet.</p><p>Suddenly there was a hand on his arm, and a pair of soft, warm lips pressed to his cheek.  Saito stepped away from him and gave a little wave, then hurried to her front door.  Tanaka watched her until she was safely inside, and then he raised a hand to his cheek, which was sticky from her lip gloss.</p><p>His pulse was elevated from the surprise, and he was a little giddy at the fact that a pretty girl was interested in <em>him</em>, but other than that he just felt empty.</p><p>There'd been no spark, no rush, no sharp tug in his gut, not like there had been with—</p><p>He spun on his heel and began the march across town back to his house.  His mind replayed the night's events, combing over every little detail.  Of course he had been thinking of Noya, he told himself.  Noya was his best friend, even if they were in some sort of fight, so it only made sense that he'd been on Tanaka's mind.</p><p>And so what if there hadn't been some magical connection with him and Saito?  They'd gotten along well enough, and he was attracted to her, and she liked him, so clearly there was some sort of connection, and that connection could be grown and cultivated.  It didn't matter that her casual touches didn't set his skin on fire, or that her smile didn't make his chest ache with happiness.  They would get to know each other, those feelings of curiosity and interest would grow, and maybe someday it would turn into love.  And if it didn't work out with Saito, then it would happen with some other girl.  One day.</p><p>This sort of patient perseverance wasn't the grand, epic romance he'd always envisioned for himself.  It wasn't love at first sight or a devotion that defied the odds, that ended with a tear-filled confession and cherry blossom petals fluttering in the breeze, but that was okay.  To expect those kinds of things was unrealistic, anyway, and he'd given up on that when he'd given up on Kiyoko.</p><p><em>Kiyoko</em>.</p><p>Tanaka missed her terribly.  Now <em>that</em> was a girl he'd felt a magical connection with, even if it had never been reciprocated.  He'd lived for every moment he could be near her, for every glimpse of a small shy smile, for every word spoken by her angelic voice.  The only other person he'd ever been that devoted to was—</p><p>His phone was heavy in his pocket, and he pulled it out and opened his messages.  Instead of going into the one with Noya, though, he scrolled past the other conversations to pull up his text thread with Kiyoko.  He didn't text her too often, just every now and then, and she'd never replied.  A smile formed over his lips as he scanned over the messages and thought of her reading them and promptly ignoring them.  She'd always been so smart, and she would probably have something wise to say about his situation if he could get her to actually text him.</p><p> </p><p><b>Tanaka Ryuunosuke</b>: hi kiyoko!!  i bet your still as beautiful as ever!!!!</p><p> </p><p>He hesitated, then sent another message before he could stop himself.</p><p> </p><p><b>Tanaka Ryuunosuke</b>: uh i was actually wondering if i could talk to you about smth?  i think i need help</p><p> </p><p>The message was sent, and he exhaled, his breath forming a cloud in front of his face.  Well, there was nothing to do now.  She probably wouldn't even reply.</p><p>He was halfway through putting his phone back in his pocket when it began ringing.</p><p>Tanaka sighed, thinking it was probably Noya again, and he swore to decline it no matter what wrath Noya would unleash on him later, then almost had a heart attack when he saw Kiyoko's name on the screen accompanied by the blurry photo he'd managed to snap of her from across the gym at practice one day.</p><p>"H-Hello?" he greeted breathlessly.</p><p>"Tanaka-san," she replied, her voice as smooth as ever.</p><p>"O-Oh!" he gasped as his heart twisted up in his chest.  He actually bent over and clutched at the front of his jacket. "K-Kiyoko!  You're…you're calling me?"</p><p>"You said you needed help," she said, as if it were as simple as that. "Is this about Nishinoya?"</p><p>"U-um, what…what have you heard?"</p><p>"He texted asking me to tell you to text him," she said. "Daichi thinks you're fighting, but I said that was unlikely." She paused. "<em>Are</em> you fighting?"</p><p>"Kind of?" he said. "It's…complicated."</p><p>"I'm a good listener," she said sweetly.</p><p>He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to stave off tears.  He'd never had her undivided attention like this, and although part of him really wanted to see her face, he was glad this was over the phone.  If she'd been there in person, watching and listening intently, he might've just died.</p><p>"You can't tell anyone," he said first.</p><p>"I'll take it to my grave."</p><p>"Well, considering you're an immortal goddess angel gracing the earth with your immaculate presence, that's not a very convincing promise," he joked.</p><p>The line was silent, and he cringed.</p><p>"Sorry.  Instinct."</p><p>"I understand," she replied with a soft laugh.</p><p>His chest ached. "Okay.  Well, lately, Noya and I…we…"</p><p>But how the fuck was he supposed to explain all of this, all of the twists and turns and rationalizations and crossed lines?  He barely understood it himself.</p><p>"We've been…fooling around," he said, biting the inside of his cheek. "Nothing serious.  Not cause we were interested in each other or anything, cause I'm—<em>we're </em>straight and all," he corrected, having momentarily forgotten that he was only the second person to know that Noya was pansexual. "Totally, one hundred percent straight, but it was just something to do?  Anyway, that's not the point."</p><p>He waited for her to say something, to gasp in shock or laugh at the idea of him and Noya together like that, but she just listened.  With burning cheeks, he continued.</p><p>"The point is, it got too…real?  Once.  Last weekend.  We, uh…<em>kissed</em>." The ghost of Noya's lips on his made him shiver. "A lot.  But it was a mistake, cause I don't want that, and he doesn't want that, and—"</p><p>"Are you sure?"</p><p>"What?" He stopped walking and blinked. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"I don't think most people kiss someone unless they want to," Kiyoko mused, "but I could be wrong.  Go on."</p><p>"I, uh…" Well.  The thought of Noya actually wanting to kiss him and not just being swept up in the moment honestly hadn't crossed his mind.  But Noya had been the one to change their position in the first place, who offered to suck him off without porn a couple weeks prior, who hadn't seemed freaked out like Tanaka was after they orgasmed together.  Did…was it…maybe—</p><p>"Tanaka?"</p><p>"R-right!" he exclaimed, continuing down the street. "A-anyway, so I…after that I thought we just needed some space.  <em>I</em> needed some space.  But now he keeps trying to talk about it and I don't want to.  I just want to move on."</p><p>"Have you moved on?"</p><p>"Yeah!" Tanaka exclaimed, then shook his head. "I'm trying to, anyway.  I…I, uh, went on a date tonight."</p><p>"Oh.  How did that go?"</p><p>"…fine."</p><p>Kiyoko hummed, and he wished he could record this conversation.  She'd never spoken to him for this long before.  Noya would be—</p><p>"It was fine," he continued. "It was fun, it was good.  I enjoyed it, she enjoyed it.  There was nothing <em>wrong</em> with the date.  Nothing bad happened, no red flags, no—"</p><p>"It was good, but it wasn't what you wanted?" she asked.</p><p>"Yeah," he mumbled. "But what I wanted isn't realistic."</p><p>"And what's that?"</p><p>"I wanted it to feel…electric?" Tanaka said quietly. "Like we were the only two people in the world.  Like I never wanted the date to end.  Like a fairytale."</p><p>"That sounds nice," Kiyoko said, and he was relieved she didn't make fun of him for being so cheesy. "Have you ever felt electric with someone before?"</p><p>"You," he replied, recalling the first time he saw her in the volleyball gym and he felt like he'd been shot through the heart with an arrow.  Then he remembered his train of thought from just moments earlier and how it had steered straight from her toward another person. "And…Noya."</p><p>She hummed again, and he began to feel nauseous. "What did you do on this date?" she asked finally.</p><p>"Yakitori and an arcade."</p><p>"And you planned it?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Why did you choose those places?"</p><p>"Well, I ate at the yakitori place a few times before with my dad and sister and—and Noya and his mom," he mumbled. "Noya thinks food tastes better when it's on a stick."</p><p>"And the arcade?"</p><p>"N-Noya and I hung out there a lot when we were in middle school," he replied.</p><p>"So."</p><p>"So?" he asked.</p><p>"So what do you think about all that you've told me?" she asked.</p><p>"I…what?"</p><p>She sighed heavily. "It seems that the date you planned would've been perfect for you and Nishinoya."</p><p>"Well—what does—I don't—that doesn't mean anything!" he exclaimed. "He and I are…very similar people.  I planned a date that was perfect for me.  He wasn't on my mind <em>at all</em>."</p><p>"And yet we're having this conversation right after your supposedly perfect date," she retorted.</p><p>He flinched.</p><p>"I'm sorry," she said. "That was harsh of me.  I'm just trying to understand."</p><p>"You and me both," he muttered, rubbing a hand over his head and wishing he'd worn a hat.  The ear that wasn't pressed to his phone was freezing.</p><p>"Tanaka, what do you imagine being in love to feel like?"</p><p>"Um." Well, what a loaded question that was. "I guess…you'd want to do anything to see them smile?  And they're the best part of your day.  Not being with them hurts, and when they touch you there's sparks and butterflies and all that stuff.  It's like fireworks, or a radio blasting at full volume inside your heart.  But it's also quiet, I think?  Like being with them makes you still inside, or peaceful.  I guess.  And you're there for each other, and you don't need words to communicate.  You just get each other, and it's comfortable.  It's home."</p><p>He suddenly realized he'd been rambling and stopped, staring up at the sky.  It wasn't free of clouds, but he could see stars in the clear patches of night.</p><p>"Ah, sorry," he said. "That was really corny and long."</p><p>"It was lovely," she replied, and he blushed. "And, if you don't mind my asking, how do you feel when you're with Nishinoya?"</p><p>With Noya?  Well, with Noya he felt…happy.  Beyond happy.  Sometimes, when they were together, he felt like his heart might grow too big for his ribcage and burst free from him.  Noya understood him better than anyone, knew how to read his moods and how to get through to him in his most pigheaded states.  They fit together like puzzle pieces, and they trusted each other implicitly.  He felt safe with Noya, cared for, valued.  Noya was his favorite person in the world, and there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for him.</p><p>"Is there an overlap?" she asked.</p><p>"I…"  The answer was yes, but…but that didn't mean anything.  Not really.  Sure, he didn't feel that way with any of his other close friends—not Taketora, not Ennoshita, not any of the rest of his volleyball team—but he also hadn't known any of them as long as he'd known Noya.  It was only natural that—</p><p>That what?  That one smile from Noya was enough to change his entire mood?  That the barest brush of Noya's fingertips made his skin buzz?  That his favorite way to fall asleep was by listening to Noya breathe?  That when Noya kissed him—when he kissed Noya—when they kissed each other, he hadn't ever wanted to stop?</p><p>He'd reasoned it away by saying they were swept up in the moment, which was true to a point.  But moments came and went constantly, and they had plenty of moments to stop and end it.  But when those opportunities came, they didn't take them.  They took that moment and held on to it and made it last, the both of them together, and done exactly what they'd wanted to do.</p><p>"<em>Fuck</em>," he whispered, and turned his eyes away from the sky.</p><p>"Are you okay?" she asked gently.</p><p>"This can't…this can't be happening," he said. "I can't…what…" He swallowed heavily. "Why don't you sound surprised by any of this?"</p><p>"Well, I suppose that's because I'm not."</p><p>He shook his head. "I'm not…this isn't who I am."</p><p>"And who are you?"</p><p>"I'm loud, I'm confident, I play sports and roughhouse and have a scary smile.  I'm a volleyball player and I'm terrible at studying and I <em>like women</em>."</p><p>"If you like Noya, that doesn't mean you no longer like women," she pointed out. "It's possible to be attracted to multiple genders."</p><p>"I know, believe me I know," he said, thinking of Saeko's multiple lessons on gender and sexuality when he was growing up. "I don't have a problem with bisexuality, or pansexuality, or any of it, but…"</p><p>"But it's different when it's you?" she supplied.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Yeah," she agreed, and it sounded like there was a story there, but he decided not to ask.</p><p><em>If you like Noya</em>, she'd said.  Did he like Noya?  Was that what all this meant?  Did he have a fucking crush on his best friend?  Was everything he'd been telling himself for the past few months—for the past few who knew how long—all a lie to cover that up?</p><p>"You have a lot to think about," she said, "so unless you want to keep talking, I think I'll leave you to it."</p><p>"Wait," he said, then bit his lip. "I, uh…I really did like you.  You know that, right?  Whatever, erm, whatever <em>this</em> is—it doesn't change that."</p><p>She chuckled. "I know."</p><p>"Good," he breathed.</p><p>"But I think you liked the idea of me more than you liked <em>me</em>," she continued. "When you love someone, when you <em>really </em>love someone and really know them, I think it's different from what you felt for me."</p><p>"I…"</p><p>"And I think, deep down, you already know that."</p><p>He combined this implication with where she'd led this conversation, and somewhere in his mind a forgotten, locked door began to rattle.</p><p>"Th-thank you Kiyoko," he said. "For talking to me, and for listening."</p><p>"Of course," she replied. "Good luck."</p><p>They said their goodbyes, and then he slipped his phone back into his pocket.  He closed his eyes and inhaled slowly through his nose, trying to stave off the nausea that was bubbling in his stomach.  Why was this so damn hard?</p><p>He'd never expected it to be this difficult to figure out if he had a crush on someone or not.  Crushes had always struck him hard and fast, like the proverbial arrow through the heart.  But whatever this was with Noya was more like dry brush and scrub and twigs gathering until his heart was a forest fire waiting to start, and now they'd struck a match.  If it caught, he wasn't sure either of them would survive the burn.</p><p>Tanaka shook himself and continued the walk home, letting his confused, repetitive thoughts dominate his mind.  He kept going in mental circles, telling himself that what he was feeling for Noya was just a mistake borne of their sexual activities.  But then Kiyoko's words rang in his head, and he had to admit that the feelings were likely there long before, just under the surface of his awareness.</p><p>And then another side of him would argue that he was just confusing a crush with being really close friends with someone, and that if he let a girl into his life the same way he let Noya in that romantic feelings would also likely arise.  But, yet another side of him argued back, if feelings would arise either way, then that meant what he felt for Noya was maybe genuine.</p><p>Then there was the issue of what Noya felt.  If Tanaka did have…<em>romantic feelings</em> for Noya—and that was a very big if!—it didn't guarantee that Noya would feel the same way.  Maybe Noya regretted mixing things up that afternoon and felt that they'd gone too far and wanted to go back to normal.  If Tanaka suggested that he might have a crush on Noya, and Noya didn't reciprocate, it had the potential to wreck their entire friendship, and that wasn't something Tanaka was willing to risk on a whim.</p><p>He'd say nothing, he decided, until he was sure either way.  Granted, he had no clue how to figure out if he had a real, full blown, gay crush on his best friend and what that meant for him, but that was a problem for Tomorrow Tanaka.</p><p>Finally, his and Noya's neighborhood came into view just as snow began to fall from the night sky overhead, and he followed the familiar streets to his house, resisting the urge to swing by the Nishinoya home to check if Noya's bedroom light was on.  What Tanaka needed right now was a nice, hot bath and some solid hours of sleep.  And maybe a late night snack.</p><p>"I'm home," he called after shutting the door behind him.</p><p>Saeko gave no answer, but her shoes were still at the door, so she must've turned in early.  He hung his jacket, toed into his slippers, and began walking up the stairs.  His fingers began to tingle from the warmth of being inside again, and he rubbed them together to stimulate the blood flow, then opened the door to his bedroom, intending to change and get ready for his bath.</p><p>Instead, he was greeted by the sight of Noya sitting on his bed.</p><p>Noya was looking right at him with narrowed eyes, and Tanaka briefly wondered if this was Noya's retribution for the five missed calls from earlier today, but no, it was probably just the only way Noya knew he could force Tanaka into this conversation.  And he hadn't taken his slippers when he came in, knowing that would've tipped Tanaka off and that he probably would've done something stupid like run in the opposite direction or lock himself in his dad's room.</p><p>Tanaka expected—well, he hadn't expected this at all.  But now that he was confronted with a pissed off Noya in his bedroom after avoiding him for a week, Tanaka thought maybe Noya would start yelling or raging or spewing all the words he'd wanted to say to Tanaka this week but couldn't.</p><p>But Noya just squinted at him and said, "You didn't wear a hat?"</p><p>"What?" Tanaka reached up and touched his head and his ice cold ears, which were probably red. "Oh.  N-no.  Forgot."</p><p>"Stupid.  It's mid-November and you have no hair," Noya scoffed.</p><p>"Right," Tanaka said, nodding. "I'll, uh…remember it next time."</p><p>Noya rolled his eyes and looked down at his lap.  His posture was stiff, sitting cross-legged in the corner that Tanaka's bed was tucked against with his hair down and messily framing his face.  He was still wearing his jacket, and the collar was popped up to his jaw, which further enhanced the unfriendly demeanor he was giving off.</p><p>An uncomfortable silence stretched between them, and Tanaka shifted his weight from side to side, wondering if he should wait for Noya to speak or if Noya was waiting for him to.  Finally, he couldn't take it anymore, and uttered a feeble, "Hi."</p><p>"Hi," Noya said sourly. </p><p>"I, um…when—or—" Tanaka stammered.</p><p>"An hour ago," Noya replied. "Saeko let me in.  You're back later than I expected.  I'm guessing that means it went well."</p><p>Tanaka glanced at the clock on his desk and saw that it was about forty minutes past when he'd expected to have gotten home based on when he'd first left Saito's place.  His conversation with Kiyoko and his subsequent overthinking had lengthened his walk considerably.  No wonder his fingers felt like icicles.</p><p>"No, I—I mean yeah, but-but that's not…I took the scenic route?" he finished lamely.</p><p>Noya scoffed. "So, how was your <em>date?</em>"</p><p>His stomach squirmed. "Fine."</p><p>"Was she pretty?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Did you kiss her?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Did you want to?"</p><p>Tanaka felt like he might be sick, but he forced himself to consider the question rather than protect himself by immediately answering yes.  He thought about the date, about Saito, about her pink shimmery lip gloss and her small puckered mouth on his cheek.  If she'd asked to kiss him, he probably would've agreed, but the fact that she didn't wasn't upsetting to him.  And it hadn't even crossed his mind to ask her for a kiss.  The cheek kiss had been enough of a surprise already.</p><p>"No," he replied honestly. "No, I didn't."</p><p>Noya sucked his teeth and looked away from him, seemingly dissatisfied with the answer. "Why not?"</p><p>"I…don't really know," he said. "I should've wanted to, but I didn't.  I'm just…really confused.  About a lot of things.  Since, uh." He took a breath. "Since Sunday."</p><p>The tension in the room was thick and choking, like a pervasive smog.  Noya's jaw flexed, and Tanaka could practically see the gears turning in his mind as he considered what to say next, which terrified Tanaka.  Noya usually just flew by the seat of his pants, speaking freely and off the cuff with whatever was on his mind.  The fact that Noya was choosing to think and contemplate his next words meant this conversation was serious, which he knew it was, but this made it even more real just how dire the state of their friendship was at the moment.</p><p>"It seems to me," Noya began slowly, "that you've been confused about things a lot longer than since Sunday."</p><p>Tanaka blew out a large breath. "Yeah.  I think you're right about that."</p><p>"What has this been to you?" Noya asked. "What have I been to you?  These few months.  What did it mean to you?"</p><p>"Nothing," Tanaka replied instinctively, even though his gut twisted and a voice in his head whispered, <em>Liar</em>.  But the words kept spilling from his mouth, a reiteration of everything he'd been burying himself under. "It was just bros, right?  That's what it was.  What it was supposed to be.  We were just friends getting off together.  That's all it was <em>supposed</em> to be," he said, feeling desperate and panicky again and hating that he always turned into this mess.</p><p>"Right.  Because you're straight, and I was just a way to get your rocks off," Noya spat, losing his careful composure.</p><p>Tanaka flinched. "No, I—"</p><p>"I can't believe I'm such a <em>fucking idiot</em>," Noya growled as he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, bringing his knees up to rest his elbows on.</p><p>"Noya, what—"</p><p>"I <em>thought</em> we were on the same page," Noya continued. "I thought what we were doing meant more to you.  I thought <em>I</em> meant more to you.  <em>Fuck</em>."</p><p>"You mean so much to me, Noya, please—" Tanaka tried interrupting, scared of the way Noya was talking.</p><p>"What a fucking stereotype," Noya mumbled in disbelief. "I fell for a goddamn straight guy and I—"</p><p>A stone dropped in Tanaka's stomach. "<em>What?</em>"</p><p>Noya finally looked at him again, lowering his hands from his face to glare at Tanaka with watery eyes. "I'm like half in love with you, Ryuu."</p><p>Tanaka's underbrush heart caught fire.</p><p>His gut lurched suddenly, and he wasn't sure if he was about to pass out or throw up.  Hoping to do neither, he sagged against his doorframe and listened dizzily as Noya went on.</p><p>"Have been for a fucking month now.  Maybe more.  Who the fuck knows, not like it even <em>fucking</em> matters.  <em>Shit</em>."</p><p>"Noya…" he whispered, but he didn't know what to say.</p><p>"And I didn't <em>want</em> this, you know," Noya said.  His voice got louder, probably to cover up the way it had begun to wobble. "I didn't want to fall for my best friend.  How fucking cliché is that, anyway?  It's not like we're Suga and Daichi or anything.  I haven't been sitting here fucking pining like a little bitch for all these years.  I was perfectly happy being your number one bro.  I was ready to be the best man at you and Kiyoko's wedding, or whatever other random girl you eventually settled down with.  So don't get it fucking <em>twisted</em>, okay?"</p><p>"Okay," Tanaka whispered, but Noya didn't seem to hear him.  Or if he did, then he didn't care, too consumed by his rant.</p><p>"But then…but then things got weird.  I noticed the way you looked at me when we were jerking off, and I <em>liked</em> it.  I liked being watched by you, and I thought maybe you were just a bit of a voyeur or a little bicurious or something, and lord knows I love showing off.  And you're so fucking hot, Ryuu, and you don't even know it, so I liked peeking too."</p><p>Tanaka's knees felt weak.  He wished he could go to his desk and sit in the chair without breaking the moment, but he didn't dare move, and he didn't think he could sink to the floor and retain any dignity, so he just stayed upright.</p><p>"Then you started jerking me off, and it got me thinking.  And I told myself it was just a sex thing, just two dudes getting off, but god it just felt like so much more.  And then you got so jealous of Fuyumi at my party that you fucking<em> cried</em>—"</p><p><em>Ennoshita</em>, Tanaka thought, <em>That damn bastard</em>.  No way it was Asahi.  Tanaka was gonna kill him.</p><p>"—and you took care of me in the morning and then you fucking <em>blew me</em>.  I mean, what straight man sucks his best friend's dick, Ryuu?  What was I <em>supposed</em> to think?"</p><p>He opened his mouth as if to respond even though he knew no words would come out, but it didn't matter because Noya barreled right on, waving his hands now, clearly in the peak of his rant.</p><p>"So I was like, okay.  Maybe he feels the same way.  But I just thought you were shy and wanted to take it slow, I didn't think you were in fucking <em>denial</em>, or that it was still <em>just bros</em> for you." Noya punched his left hand. "Was it just bros when you took my cock in your mouth?  Was it just bros when I swallowed your cum?  Was it just bros when we kissed?  Cause you kissed me back, Ryuu, you kissed me back and you <em>liked it</em>."</p><p><em>Fuck</em>.  Tanaka closed his eyes.  His body felt shaky all over, like his spirit could just vibrate right out of his skin and leave him as an empty shell at any moment.  He had liked it.  He'd liked all of it.  He liked making Noya feel good, and having all of Noya's attention on him, and learning what made Noya moan and squirm and shake.  He liked touching Noya, and Noya touching him, and Noya kissing him.  He really, really did.</p><p>"Well?" Noya prompted. "Didn't you?"</p><p>"Yeah," Tanaka said on an exhale.  His eyes were burning, and he knew if he opened them that they'd be watery and tear-filled and he might start crying, but he had to do it.</p><p>There was a flush across Noya's cheeks from his emotional speech, but he didn't look angry anymore.  His eyes were wide, lips pursed but wobbling anyway, and Tanaka had thought he'd memorized and categorized all of Noya's expressions, but this one was new.  This one was broken and irate and hopeful and disappointed all at the same time, and when Tanaka met his gaze his face absolutely crumpled.</p><p>Noya crossed his arms over his eyes to block his face and gasped out, "<em>Shit</em>."</p><p>"I'm sorry," Tanaka said hurriedly. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sor—"</p><p>"I knew it, I <em>knew</em> it," Noya whispered, slowly lowering his arms as he spoke. "Why—why did you kick me out?  Why did you avoid me and go out with some girl?  Why…<em>why?</em>  Just why?"</p><p>"I'm scared," Tanaka admitted, and his tears were just on the edge of falling. "I'm so fucking scared, Noya, and I'm confused.  I don't…I don't know—I just don't—"</p><p>"Do you like me?" Noya asked.</p><p>"I…"</p><p>"<em>Do you like me?</em>" he demanded.</p><p>"Noya, please—"</p><p>He groaned, smacking the bed with his hands. "What do you fucking <em>want</em>, Ryuu?"</p><p>"I don't <em>know!</em>" he exploded suddenly, standing up straight again. "God, I just…this is a lot, okay?  I can't—I don't—"</p><p>"Of course," Noya muttered. "Of fucking course."</p><p>Built up adrenaline pounded through his veins, triggering his fight or flight, and unfortunately it was now leaning toward the former of the two.</p><p>"Would it kill you to just give me a minute to sort out my goddamn feelings?" Tanaka yelled. "Fuck, Noya, I asked for some space and you barely gave me twenty-four hours!"</p><p>"And what would you have done with your fucking space?" Noya growled. "Actually processed and worked through things, or would you have done this same stupid head-in-the-sand denial bullshit that you did all week?"</p><p>"I was—I was working on it!" Tanaka exclaimed, even as Noya's words hit a little too close to the truth. "You…you just always push too hard too soon!"</p><p>"If I didn't push you every now and then you'd end up standing still!" Noya returned. "Where would you be without me, Ryuu?  Still bouncing a ball by yourself in a park, because for all your bravado and your scary faces you're a coward when it really matters."</p><p>"That's not fair," Tanaka said through his teeth, the fire leaving him already.</p><p>"We've been trading handjobs for over two months now and you can't tell me if you like me or not," Noya snapped. "I think it's more than fair."</p><p>"I <em>might</em>, I just…I need to be sure, I can't—I don't know, and—and I just need time to figure it out," Tanaka pleaded. "Noya, I—"</p><p>Noya shook his head and moved to the edge of the bed, throwing his socked feet over and standing up. "You've had plenty of time, Ryuu, and I can't hang my heart on what you might want.  I've done that for too long already."</p><p>"Wait, please—" Tanaka said, holding his hands up as Noya approached the doorway.  The shorter man looked ready to throw him to the side like a sack of potatoes, and Tanaka knew it wasn't a front.  Noya was only stopped because he let himself be. "Please, just, I can't lose you.  This is all so new, though, and I'm really fucking overwhelmed.  Just, give me a little time?  Please?"</p><p>"Call me when you figure your shit out, Ryuu," Noya said dismissively, shoving past him into the hallway.</p><p>"Noya—" Tanaka choked, his throat closing up as he chased his friend down the stairs.</p><p>"Just don't expect me to be waiting around like some lovestruck damsel in distress," Noya growled as he took his shoes out of his backpack and threw them onto the floor next to the front door.  Tanaka would've blocked it if he didn't think Noya might seriously deck him if he did.</p><p>"Don't leave like this," he begged, balancing on the edge of the genkan.</p><p>Noya shoved his feet into his shoes, then looked up and attempted a grin, but it came out more as a grimace. "It's gonna be fine, Ryuu, don't even worry about it.  It's just a silly crush.  I'll get over it, and you can keep pretending to be straight.  Win-win."</p><p>"Stop," Tanaka whispered, hand half-raised toward him.</p><p>Noya flinched away from his extended fingers and wrenched the door open. "See you around."</p><p>When the door closed, Tanaka finally sank to his knees and cried.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It had to get worse before things get better</p><p> </p><p>Porn videos in this chapter:<br/>- None</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. In Seventh Heaven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, Tanaka found himself awake and staring dead-eyed at his ceiling.  He'd slept terribly, kept up half the night by nausea and grief.  When he did sleep, it was in fits and spurts punctuated by nightmares and memories of Noya's cold, torn-apart face and the angry words they'd exchanged.  Now it was barely six in the morning, the sun hadn't yet begun to rise, and Tanaka was awake despite the exhaustion that weighed on his chest.</p><p>Out in the hallway, Saeko's bedroom door creaked open and shut, followed by the sounds of her morning routine.  He hadn't heard a peep out of her at all last night.  She had to have heard some of it, if not all, and he'd expected her to be eager for an explanation right away.  He'd stayed frozen in their small entry hall, crying his eyes out like he hadn't done since their mother died, waiting for her to appear and either confront or comfort him, but she didn't come, and he stayed alone.</p><p>After an indeterminate amount of time, when Tanaka's tears had dried up and his sobs turned into dry, choking gasps, he finally dragged himself back upstairs and into his bed.  And when he'd begged for the abyss of sleep to take him away from all of this and pressed his pounding head into his pillow, it of course smelled like Noya because the universe fucking hated him.</p><p>There was a soft knock at his bedroom door, and Tanaka startled back awake.  He must've dozed off again.  The doorknob turned, and then Saeko was standing before him, framed from behind by the light in the hall.</p><p>"Hey kid," she said quietly, leaning her hip against the doorframe.</p><p>He tried to respond, but his throat was bone dry and wrecked, so it just came out, "Hhhahhh."</p><p>"I'm gonna make coffee.  Want any?"</p><p>He nodded.</p><p>"Cool.  See you down in a bit," she replied, voice uncharacteristically soft. "I think it's time we talk."</p><p>Saeko inclined her head, and even though his room was dark and her face was in shadow, he knew what she was trying to get across.  She wasn't going to let him wimp out of this.  If he tried to and stayed curled up in his bed, she'd probably just break in and sit on him until he spilled the beans.</p><p>The stairs squeaked as she went downstairs, reminding him of how it sounded when Noya was storming off last night, and he groaned as he dragged his hands over his face.  His skin felt tight and swollen, and his eyes hurt every time he blinked them.  He really didn't want to get up, but he knew he'd probably feel better once he splashed some water over his face.</p><p>With a heavy sigh, he lurched into an upright position and winced at the headrush.  As he slowly navigated himself off the bed and across his room to the door—stepping carefully around Noya's futon on his floor and ignoring the way it twisted his heart—his limbs were stiff and nigh uncooperative.  The light in the hall was bright to his unadjusted eyes, and he squinted as he fumbled into the bathroom.</p><p>Five minutes later, after he'd pissed in the toilet and slapped some cold water on his face, he found Saeko waiting for him at the low dining table, her hands wrapped around a mug of coffee.  Another mug sat across from her, and he dutifully took his seat in front of it.  He took the mug, more grateful for the warmth and to have something to focus his hands on than he was for the coffee itself.</p><p>"So," Saeko said, "are you ready to talk?"</p><p>He winced. "How…how much did you hear?"</p><p>"None of it."</p><p>Tanaka squinted suspiciously at her, and she held one hand up.</p><p>"Scout's honor," she swore. "I put my headphones in the minute I heard you get home."</p><p>"What did Noya tell you?" he asked.</p><p>"Nothing that I hadn't already guessed," she replied. "That you've been avoiding him and he needed to talk to you.  I told him he could hang in your room until you came home."</p><p>He nodded and took a sip of the coffee.  It was black and bitter, and he gagged a little when he swallowed, much to her amusement.  He never understood people who drank just plain coffee, but at least right now it took the edge off of his sadness.</p><p>"I don't even know where to start," he admitted.</p><p>"Start at the beginning," she suggested. "It's usually the best place."</p><p>He rolled his eyes, and she grinned.  Then he began telling her from the beginning, going into slightly more detail than he had with Kiyoko, but skipping all the graphic bits.  She was still his sister, after all, even if she was the second person he trusted most in the world.  His cheeks burned more and more as he explained how the mutual masturbation had progressed to handjobs to blowjobs to the kiss and the…<em>frottage</em>.</p><p>"And I…I freaked out," Tanaka admitted, rubbing a hand over his head. "I asked him to leave."</p><p>"You <em>what?</em>" she asked, interrupting for the first time.</p><p>He groaned and slammed his forehead down on the chabudai.  The coffee sloshed, and he felt a hot droplet land on his hand, but he paid it no mind. "What was I <em>supposed</em> to do, Saeko?!  I didn't know how to react.  I still don't!"</p><p>"Okay, okay, chill out," she said. "Finish catching me up."</p><p>With his nose still mashed into the table, he continued. "I thought we needed space.  That <em>I</em> needed space.  To, like, get over the weirdness.  That's why I went on the date with the girl.  But I…I couldn't stop…thinking about it.  About him.  And then I got home and he was here and he was so—so <em>angry</em> at me, and he wanted to know how I felt, but I don't know, and he left.  And that's it."</p><p>Saeko loudly slurped her coffee, and he waited for her to swallow and respond, but after several moments of silence he lifted his head to look at her.  One eyebrow was raised so high it was hidden completely by her short bangs, and her eyes were narrowed as she stared at him.</p><p>"Well?" he prompted desperately.</p><p>"You're an idiot," she said simply, then sipped from her coffee again.</p><p>Tanaka groaned. "Not helpful, sis."</p><p>"Well, it's not what I expected you to say," she said. "I'm still processing it."</p><p>"What <em>did</em> you expect?" he asked.</p><p>"Honestly?" she asked.  When he nodded, she took another sip of her coffee before replying, "I thought you guys were just secretly dating."</p><p>He gaped at her. "What?"</p><p>"You weren't as sneaky as you thought," she replied. "I could tell something was up.  But I didn't realize you were just getting each other off.  Jesus, Ryuu, what were you guys thinking?"</p><p>"We just thought it would be fun," he mumbled, staring at his reflection in the coffee.</p><p>"And then feelings got involved."</p><p>Tanaka nodded, guilt twisting his gut. "He said…he said he's half in love with me."</p><p>Saeko sighed and put her chin in her hand. "That boy doesn't do anything by halves."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>Shit, of course he knew.  Noya always threw all of himself into everything he did.  The concept of pacing himself, of protecting his heart by only putting it out a little at a time, was probably completely foreign to him.</p><p>"And how do you feel about him?" Saeko asked.</p><p>"I…" His throat tightened, and he thought he might be sick again. "I might, but I can't…Saeko, I—" He clenched his jaw and tightened his fingers around the coffee mug, trying to force down the panic.</p><p>"Hey, hey, it's okay," she said soothingly. "Big question, I get it.  Let's talk about it from another angle," she offered.</p><p>He nodded and took a deep breath.</p><p>"If you do like him that way, why does the idea of that scare you?" she asked.</p><p>"If…if…I like him," he said slowly, testing out the words, "then I'm not straight.  I'm something other than what I thought I was.  I'm a stranger to myself.  And I know that sounds like so, I don't know, <em>stupid</em>, but—"</p><p>"It's not stupid," she interrupted. "It's a scary thing."</p><p>"Yeah, and if—if I'm not straight, well, okay, fine, but then…I don't know what to do?  And like, what if I do it wrong?"</p><p>"Do what wrong?" she asked with a laugh. "Be gay?  Or bi or queer or whatever label you do or don't choose?  I'm gonna let you in on a secret, Ryuu.  There's no handbook, no set of rules, no right or wrong way.  There's just your way."</p><p>"But, like, how can I be sure when he's the only…" He swallowed heavily and squirmed in his seat, remembering all the times he'd peeked at his teammates in the clubroom and wondering how long he'd been denying this part of himself. "Okay, <em>maybe</em> there've been others, but I've only ever really felt like this toward him, Saeko.  And I don't…I dunno.  Maybe I should practice, or test myself to see if it's real before I hurt him?"</p><p>"Okay, first?" Saeko said, setting her mug down hard enough to startle him into looking up at her narrowed expression. "Drop the idea of practice.  If you go and like make out with some other guy just to test that you're not straight, I guarantee Noya would never get over that."</p><p>He cringed. "Yeah, okay, but—"</p><p>"And second, being attracted to multiple genders doesn't mean you have to like them all equally," she continued. "If you still mostly like girls, that's okay.  If Noya's the only guy you ever like, that's also okay.  None of that invalidates you.  There's no rules, remember?  And anybody who tries to tell you otherwise is a gatekeeping asshole."</p><p>Desperate hope and crushing anxiety were at war within him, and he shoved the coffee away from him.  He'd still only taken the one sip, but he didn't need to be tempted by it and add caffeine to his already racing heart.</p><p>"Okay," he said, nodding to himself and trying to ignore the fact that he was shaking. "Okay, yeah, okay.  But…but what if I go for it, if I say, "Hey, maybe I like you too," and we try it, and it turns out I really was just confused and don't actually like him.  Or that we're not actually good together.  Then we'd have to, what, break up?  And no longer be friends?  That would ruin everything, Saeko!"</p><p>"Consider the opposite," she suggested. "What if you really do like him, and you are good together, and you don't break up, and nothing is ruined?  What would that be like?"</p><p>His eyelids slipped shut, and for once he allowed himself to imagine it without shying away or shoving it down.  He gave himself permission to picture dating Noya, <em>really</em> dating him.  They'd probably still do all their usual shit, like play video games and watch stupid action movies.  But they'd also do it while cuddling on the couch and holding hands.  And when one of them was mouthing off and being ridiculous, maybe the other would kiss him to shut him up.</p><p>They likely would abandon using the futons when sleeping over at each other's houses, preferring to wrap around each other under the covers.  And Tanaka would tuck Noya's head under his chin and wrap his arms around Noya's small frame, or Noya would hold him from behind and curl to fit the curve of Tanaka's back.  They'd wake up to each other's sleepy smiles and kiss away their morning breath.</p><p>And, when Tanaka cooked them breakfast, Noya would come up from behind and wrap his arms around Tanaka's middle and say how good it smelled.  Then he'd press a kiss to Tanaka's spine and talk nonsense to him like always.  They'd walk to school like usual, but with fingers intertwined as they talked shit and caused chaos.  They'd still be Tanaka and Noya, best friends forever, but they would also be in love.</p><p>A wistful sigh escaped his lips, and it startled him out of his reverie.  The door in his mind that had begun to rattle during his conversation with Kiyoko was now shuddering.  Then, he'd feared what was locked away inside it, but now, for the first time, he wondered if he was the one trapped on the inside, and on the other side was actually just freedom.</p><p>"Well?" Saeko prompted. "Is that something you want?"</p><p>"Yes," he admitted, not even caring about the way that his voice cracked. "I want that.  I want him.  I want…oh, fuck, Saeko, I—I've been so stupid."</p><p>"There it is," she said proudly, reaching across the table to lightly squeeze his wrist.</p><p>The revelation dizzied him, and he sucked in a breath to try to calm the quivering feeling that began in his gut and was now expanding to the rest of him.</p><p>"Shit.  I don't know—What…what if it goes wrong?" he asked. "What if I hurt him?"</p><p>"Every relationship runs that risk," she replied. "You just have to decide if the potential payoff is worth it.  If<em> he's</em> worth it."</p><p>"He is," Tanaka whispered, curling his fingers into a fist. "He is."</p><p>"Plus," she said, then sipped from her coffee, "he's already hurting, isn't he?"</p><p>Shit, she was right.  They'd had the worst fight of their lives last night.  Noya had bared his heart to Tanaka, and Tanaka had basically crushed it.  It was early on a Saturday, and Noya would normally be asleep right now, but Tanaka wouldn't be surprised if he'd slept as terribly as Tanaka did.  He was probably lying awake staring at his ceiling just has Tanaka had been, thinking about their fight and thinking that Tanaka couldn't love him back and not knowing how wrong he was.</p><p>The door in his mind burst open, and sunlight flooded into the deepest, darkest corners of him.</p><p>He jolted, banging his knees on the underside of the table, gasping, "I-I have to see him. I have to <em>tell</em> him, I—" He  swayed slightly from the rush and adrenaline spiking through him, then met Saeko's pleased gaze. "Saeko, I—I love him.  I love him so much."</p><p>His knees shook slightly as he scrambled to his feet, and he bent over and braced himself on the low table for a moment.  The shock of going so quickly from being in deep denial to possibly entertaining the idea of a crush to finally accepting that he was in love with Noya made him feel like passing out, but he couldn't do that.  He had a mission.</p><p>"I know," she said softly, and for a moment he thought he saw tears in her eyes. "I'm so happy for you, Ryuu."</p><p>"Thank you," he said, then paused and looked at her, at the woman who'd raised him, who was his mother and his sister and a best friend all at the same time. "Saeko, I—"</p><p>"I know, dummy.  I love you too," she said, reaching out across the table to squeeze his hand. "Now quit stalling and get out of here!" she exclaimed. "Go get your man!"</p><p>Fear wrapped its fingers around his heart the way it had been doing for three months now or maybe even longer, but this time he didn't let it win.  He pushed through the fear and took his first stumbling steps toward their front door.  Saeko followed him, spewing embarrassing advice like "Use protection" and "You should do <em>dogeza</em> when you apologize for being an ass."</p><p>"I'm off," he said, grabbing his jacket off the hook and slipping it over his shoulders.</p><p>"Should I wait up for you?" she asked, just like she had when he was leaving for his date with Saito last night.  Shit, had it really only been last night?</p><p>He shook that thought away, then looked at her and grinned and said, "No."</p><p>The last thing he heard before he closed the door behind him was her delighted cackle.  With his heart in his throat, he stepped off their welcome mat and charged out into the cold November air.</p><p>As he walked the familiar snow-dusted streets toward Noya's house, his head spun, replaying every memory he had of Noya and reanalyzing them with the knowledge of how he truly felt toward him, how he'd always felt about him.  He really had been called thick-skulled his whole life for a reason.</p><p>It had been there the entire time, probably obvious to everyone except them.  It was there in every squeeze of his heart, every unnecessary touch, every time he did something just to see Noya happy.  He'd always known that Noya was the best thing in his life.</p><p>And he'd almost gone and fucked it all up.</p><p>Tanaka rounded the second corner and saw Noya's house in the middle of the block.  Apprehension buzzed up from his stomach to his lungs as he thought about what to say to Noya, and what Noya might say to him.  Noya could still be pissed—he had every right to be, after all.  He could turn Tanaka away, or no longer feel the same, or—</p><p>He abruptly stopped walking, widened his stance, and slapped his cheeks with both hands as hard as he could.  He grunted with the impact, and his cheeks stung extra because of the cold air, but it helped him settle his resolve.</p><p>With determination in the set of his jaw and the clench of his fists, Tanaka continued down the block and remembered how this had all started back in August with him coming over early on a Saturday morning.  If only he could go back and tell himself to pull his head out of the sand, to tell himself to be open to new possibilities, to tell himself he was in love with the best damn guy in the universe and that it was all gonna be okay.</p><p>Of course, he didn't really know if that last bit was true or not yet, but he had to have faith.</p><p>When he was finally stood on the front step of the Nishinoya house, he hesitated.  Normally, he'd just let himself in with his copy of their housekey, but considering how they'd left things yesterday that seemed presumptuous and rude.  He could ring the doorbell, but that felt too weird, like he was a stranger now in this house that was his second home.  Another option was calling Noya and asking him to let him in, but there was no guarantee that Noya would even answer.  He'd never declined one of Tanaka's calls before, but then again they'd never fought like that before.</p><p>He was frozen in place as he debated himself when suddenly the front door opened and Katsumi stood before him.</p><p>"Oh!" she gasped, stepping back in surprise and putting a hand to her chest. "Oh, Ryuu, you startled me!"</p><p>"I-I'm sorry, Nishinoya-san!" he exclaimed. "Is Noya here?"</p><p>"Yes, I think he's sleeping," she said slowly, biting her lip as she looked calculatingly at him, which told him she knew that things between her boys weren't at their peak.  He wondered if Noya or Saeko had filled her in, or some combination of the two, and exactly how much she knew.  Then he realized it didn't matter.</p><p>He stepped back, then stooped over into a severe bow, bent completely at the waist with his arms held tightly at his sides and his eyes squeezed shut.</p><p>"Nishinoya-san!  I…I'm in love with your son!" he declared, and he heard her utter a soft gasp. "I'm going to tell him, a-and I hope he feels the same, and if-if-if he does, then I hope we have your blessing!"</p><p>There was a heart-stopping pause as he waited for her verdict, and then he felt gentle fingers stroke over his scalp.</p><p>"Ryuu, honey," she said, then slid her fingers down to his jaw to lift his head.  There were tears in her eyes. "Nothing would make me happier."</p><p>A smile bloomed across his face, and he swept her into a hug before he could second guess himself, crushing her against his chest with too much enthusiasm.  She laughed breathlessly and patted his back, and then he released her.</p><p>"Thank you Nishinoya-san!" he said, beaming down at her.</p><p>"Now, I have to go to work," she said, stepping past him toward the car in the driveway, "but I hope it goes well for you two."</p><p>"Th-thank you!" he said again, then added, "Your hair looks beautiful today!"</p><p>She smiled graciously before finishing the walk to her car and getting in.  He waved her off as she backed out and went down the street.</p><p>Now he was faced with an open door, implicit permission to let himself in, and a confession to give.</p><p>Tanaka stepped inside and hurriedly exchanged his shoes for his pair of guest slippers, feeling absurdly pleased at the fact that they were still there and Noya hadn't done something impulsive like toss them or burn them.</p><p>Adrenaline and anticipation made him dizzy as he went down the hallway, which seemed longer to him now than it ever had before.  But eventually—finally—he was just outside of Noya's door.  He held his hand out over the doorknob and watched it shake in the air.  Should he knock?  What if Noya was asleep?  Normally, he'd just tackle Noya awake, but even Tanaka knew that would be inappropriate considering the state of their friendship right now.  Should he try to call?  Should he just wait in the living room for Noya to come out?</p><p>He hesitated for half a moment, then decided he was done hesitating.  He'd been hesitating for months, and look at all the time he'd wasted not being Noya's boyfriend already.  All the kisses he'd never get, all the cuddles never had, all the moments not spent absolutely cherishing the magnificent existence of Nishinoya Yuu.</p><p>Waiting sounded agonizing, so he resolved to just knock.  He rapped his knuckles against the wood once, then twice, and waited patiently for a response.  And by patiently waited, he meant he paused for approximately 1.5 seconds before knocking three more times.  And then five times.  And then six times, and then he just didn't stop knocking because he'd apparently lost all self-control.</p><p>Finally, he heard an agitated groan.  It briefly crossed his mind that maybe waking Noya up early on a Saturday morning wasn't the best way to guarantee a positive response to his confession, especially considering Noya already didn't like mornings and had probably slept just as bad as Tanaka did, but it was too late now.</p><p>"Kaa-san, you're gonna be late!" Noya yelled. "What are you—"</p><p>The door wrenched open, and Noya stopped in his tracks when he was greeted at eye level by a chest instead of his mother's face.  He jerked his head up and met Tanaka's eyes, and Tanaka felt his heart stutter in his ribcage.  Noya's hair was loose and wild, stuck up on one side and flat on the other.  His eyes were swollen and bloodshot, and his skin looked a little sallow, and there was a ghost of a week-old hickey on the side of his neck.  Despite it all, Tanaka still thought he was beautiful, and the sight of the hickey sent an electric shock up his spine.</p><p>God, how had he ever managed to convince himself his feelings for Noya were only platonic?</p><p>"Ryuu?" Noya asked in surprise.  He drifted forward slightly, as if he were about to put his face in Tanaka's chest like normal, but then seemed to actually process Tanaka's presence and where they'd left things last night.  He scowled instantly and drew back. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>"I figured my shit out," Tanaka said breathlessly.</p><p>"I told you to call when you did," Noya replied, folding his arms and crossing them over his chest as he looked away.</p><p>"Would you have answered?"</p><p>"<em>Yes</em>," Noya said petulantly, which meant no.</p><p>"Liar," Tanaka whispered as fondness for this wonderful, ridiculous man bloomed in his heart.</p><p>"I don't want to see you right now," Noya grumbled. "I'm mad at you.  Go away."</p><p>"Will you give me five minutes?"</p><p>"Ryuu—"</p><p>"Two?" Tanaka begged. "Please."</p><p>Noya's eyes flicked up to meet his once more.  His lips pursed, then he nodded.</p><p>Hope exploded in Tanaka's chest, and he took a steadying breath, knowing that this was his one and only chance, and he couldn't fuck it up.</p><p>"I'm sorry," he said first. "I'm sorry for everything.  For avoiding you, for the fight, for…for leading you on," he said, and he hated the way that Noya's eyes went dark and sad. "I didn't mean to hurt you.  That's the last thing I ever wanted to do, Noya, you have to know that.  You're the most important person in my world."</p><p>Noya chewed on his lip as he listened, and Tanaka paused to look imploringly at him as he thought about how to phrase what he wanted to say next.</p><p>"Alright," Noya said finally. "Alright, fine.  Thanks for saying that.  I'm sorry too, or whatever.  Now please go—"</p><p>"I'm not done!" Tanaka exclaimed.</p><p>"I get it, Ryuu," Noya snapped. "I don't need to hear you say it or fucking spell it out for me.  In fact, I really, <em>really</em> don't need that right now, okay?"</p><p>"Noya—"</p><p>"You're sorry for leading me on, you don't feel the same, I'm an idiot for hoping in the first place," Noya spat. "That just about covers it, right?"</p><p>He gaped. "N-no, I—"</p><p>"Great well, now that that's out the way, would you please leave?"</p><p>The wheels in Tanaka's mind were spinning out, trying to figure out some way to get Noya to stop and just <em>listen</em> to him.  If he'd listen, then Tanaka could make him understand, but all of Tanaka's half-baked speeches and statements were  caught in his throat from the shock of Noya's words.</p><p>"I can't be around you right now, Ryuu," Noya said, and Tanaka could hear his voice start to break, which Noya was now trying to cover by becoming angry.  Noya stepped forward and shoved Tanaka down the hallway, snarling, "I need you to leave.  Now.  Right fucking now."</p><p>Panic began to flood through him as he stumbled backward.  He would leave if Noya really wanted him to, of course.  He'd do anything Noya needed him to do, even leave forever, but only after he'd said his piece.  This wasn't how this was supposed to go.  Noya was misunderstanding him, he didn't have all the facts, he didn't know that—</p><p>"I love you," Tanaka blurted finally.</p><p>Noya snatched his hands away like he'd been burned as the rest of the air in his lungs blew out in a big rush.  They came to a stop in the middle of the hallway, and the silence was only interrupted by Noya sucking in a ragged breath.</p><p>This was it.  This was his moment.  He finally had Noya's attention, and he had to lay it all out on the table or regret it forever.  It suddenly occurred to him how difficult it was to convey the entire weight and volume of his feelings for Noya with mere words, but still, he had to try.  He took a breath and continued.</p><p>"I do.  I love you.  I'm <em>in</em> love with you," he said softly as he wrung his hands together. "I think I have been this whole time, maybe?  Even before—before the jerking off.  You were right about everything, and you were right about me being a coward.  I've been hiding from this for years, Noya, <em>years</em>.  Probably since the first moment I saw you, which…wasn't even at the park."</p><p>Noya tilted his head.  His expression was guarded and cautious, but he narrowed his eyes in question, still allowing Tanaka to continue.</p><p>"I've never told you, but it was a few days before," Tanaka said, smiling at the memory. "In town.  I was waiting for Saeko outside a store, and I saw a boy across the street.  He was skipping around and being wowed by every little thing, and then he tripped and skinned his knee.  I would've cried, but he just laughed it off.  <em>You</em> laughed it off.  I was amazed, and I thought you were so cool, and I wanted to know you, but then Saeko was back and you were gone.</p><p>"But by some fucking miracle we met at the park a few days later, and you've been amazing me every day since, and I never want it to stop.  I want to keep being with you and being surprised by you and being amazed by you.  Because I love you, Noya, and I'm so sorry it took me this long to realize."</p><p>A tear landed on his hands, which were still clasped tightly against his abdomen.  It surprised him, and he glanced down and sucked in a shuddering breath.</p><p>"Fuck, I—I can't believe I'm crying," he gasped.</p><p>Noya let out a choked laugh.  Tanaka startled at the sound, and they looked at each other.  Noya had his knuckles pressed to his mouth, a broken sort of hopefulness in his eyes, and Tanaka offered a tentative smile.</p><p>"Well, that…that's about it," he said. "I love you.  And, okay, maybe I haven't <em>love-loved</em> you since we first met, cause we were fucking twelve, right, and what the fuck did I know about love?  But I knew—I <em>knew</em> you were important, I knew that I needed you in my life, and somewhere along the way I—"</p><p>"Ryuunosuke."</p><p>He inhaled sharply again, and he got goosebumps all along the back of his neck and on his arms despite his jacket.  Noya lowered his hand from his mouth and stepped forward, bringing their bodies just an inch apart.  Tanaka held his breath, not daring to move a muscle.</p><p>"You forgot a hat again," Noya whispered, raising his hands to cup Tanaka's cheeks, the tips of his fingers brushing against Tanaka's ears.  And either Tanaka's face really was freezing or Noya's hands were on fire, because his skin burned wherever Noya touched it.</p><p>"I was in a hurry," he said softly. "I had to tell this guy how crazy I am about him."</p><p>That pulled a huff of laughter out of Noya as his thumbs swiped over the few tears that were still leaking from Tanaka's eyes.  Then he pulled gently, guiding Tanaka's face down near his, and Tanaka's whole head throbbed with the force of his raging pulse.</p><p>Noya studied him closely, hazel eyes poring over grey in search of some hesitation or doubt on Tanaka's part.  He had a brief knee-jerk instinct to pull free, to run and hide, but he forced it down and away.  Noya was giving him a chance, and he refused to do anything to fuck it up.  This was what he wanted, and he had to give it his all.</p><p>"Say it again?" Noya asked.  The breath of his words washed over Tanaka's mouth, and <em>oh</em> how he ached.  He wondered again how it had taken him so long to realize he was nothing but head over heels for this boy.</p><p>"I lo—" he started, but he didn't have time to get much further than that because Noya—impatient, impulsive, impetuous Noya—suddenly crushed their lips together.</p><p>The wildfire that had been burning in his heart since yesterday blazed brighter than ever, fueled by the sparks that flew when their mouths slid against each other.  Tanaka seized Noya around the waist, instinctively lifting him up in his enthusiasm like he always did.  Noya's hands surged forward so his arms wrapped around Tanaka's neck, and his legs crossed at Tanaka's waist.</p><p><em>This can't be happening</em>, Tanaka thought to himself as Noya's tongue slipped in his mouth, but it was, it was, and it was almost more than his heart could handle.  It was a miracle it hadn't burst out of him yet, but where would it run to if it did?  Everything it needed was right in his arms.</p><p>Just like the first time, the kiss was forceful, almost destructive in its power.  They kissed like they'd been starving all their lives and were just now getting their first taste of sustenance.  Their mouths opened to each other, as easy and natural as breathing, which actually wasn't as easy as usual at the moment with their lips sealed and noses smushed together.  Noya clearly felt the strain in his lungs too, because he broke away and leaned their foreheads against each other.</p><p>"Fuck," Noya breathed.</p><p>"Yeah," Tanaka agreed, shifting his arms so his hands gripped the underside of Noya's thighs.  A thought occurred to him. "Hey, so, does—do you—well, you didn't say—I mean you—you said <em>half</em>, or—"</p><p>Noya started giggling, and he unwound himself from Tanaka's body.  Reluctantly, Tanaka let him slide out of his grasp, but they still stood with their arms around each other.  Noya brought one hand up from Tanaka's neck and stroked over Tanaka's cheekbone with his thumb.  He smiled up at Tanaka with shining eyes as Tanaka nuzzled into his hand and kissed the meat of his palm.</p><p>"Yeah, Ryuu," he said softly. "I love you too.  I love you so goddamn much, I—"</p><p>It was Tanaka's turn to interrupt him with a kiss, so he did.  He swooped down, forcing Noya into sort of a backbend, and Tanaka supported him with an arm as his other hand cupped Noya's jaw.  Hearing Noya say he loved him, knowing that his feelings were returned, was almost too much for Tanaka to bear.  A sort of sickly sweet embarrassment had swelled in his chest, like he didn't feel worthy of Noya's love and wanted to hide from it by distracting him.  Luckily, Noya was easily distracted and accepted the kiss eagerly, and they forgot how to breathe for several more moments.</p><p>"Say it again," Noya mumbled against his lips a good while later, fingers now hooked behind Tanaka's jaw.</p><p>"I love you," Tanaka whispered and kissed him again.  Kissing Noya—<em>really</em> kissing him, with none of the fear or the excuses or the anxiety—was like nothing else he'd ever experienced.  He felt almost high from it, from the elation and the taste of Noya's tongue and the slick slide of their mouths.</p><p>"Again," Noya instructed.</p><p>"I love you."</p><p>"Again."</p><p>"I—"</p><p>Something wet touched his thumb, and he pulled away to see a tear had fallen from Noya's eye and slid down his cheek to where Tanaka gripped his face.  Noya grimaced and removed his hands from Tanaka to cover his eyes.</p><p>"Shit," Noya whispered. "Now <em>I'm</em> crying."</p><p>Tanaka laughed and pulled him into a hug, tucking the libero's head under his chin, fitting their bodies together just as perfectly as they always had.  Noya shifted his arms to wrap around Tanaka's middle and curled his fingers into Tanaka's jacket.  He closed his eyes and absorbed this moment, trying to memorize every bit of it in case it turned out to be a dream and he woke up in a few moments.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Noya said, his voice muffled.</p><p>"You're sorry?" Tanaka asked. "For what?"</p><p>"For not giving you space," Noya replied. "You asked me for space, and I didn't honor that, and you were right to call me out on it.  I pushed way too hard, and I said some pretty cruel things last night.  I'm really sorry."</p><p>"It's okay.  And I only really asked for space because I was hiding, like you said," Tanaka said, rubbing his hand between Noya's shoulder blades. "I don't have any excuses for how I acted.  I was just…scared.  And confused.  And I know I said that all before, but it's true.  Like I said, you're the best thing in my life, and I was terrified of changing that, of ruining it.  So I just shoved it all down and ran from it."</p><p>"Still," Noya said with a shrug. "I should've respected you.  And I like to think you would've figured it out eventually."</p><p>Tanaka laughed. "That's being gracious.  I had have to have two people spell it out for me.  Three, including you."</p><p>Noya pulled his head back to look up at him. "Nee-san, me, and who else?"</p><p>"Oh, um…Kiyoko?" he mumbled.</p><p>Noya pulled his arms down to smack his hands against Tanaka's chest. "<em>What?!</em>  You talked to Kiyoko?  <em>On the phone?!</em>"</p><p>"Yeah, I texted her asking for help after the, ah…the date." He cleared his throat when Noya's eyes narrowed. "And she called me and walked me though a lot of what I was feeling."</p><p>"An angel," Noya said solemnly. "Truly an angel."</p><p>"We should pray to her more often," Tanaka replied. "Build an altar, perform a ritual sacrifice, the works."</p><p>"Definitely."</p><p>They held their somber expressions for a solid thirty seconds before bursting into laughter, and it felt just like it always did.  They were still Tanaka and Noya, the best of best friends, but now Tanaka could lean down and cut the laughter off with a kiss, and Noya could surge against him, pressing their bodies together, and Tanaka's arms could tighten around Noya's waist at the perfect angle to hold him just so.</p><p>It wasn't the shoujo manga, ultra-romantic confession Tanaka had always imagined.  There were no cherry blossoms or dramatic confessions in the rain, and he hadn't dreamed about being the confessor rather than the confessee, but he realized now that none of that shit really mattered.  All that mattered was him and Noya and this right here and now, and it was pretty damn perfect.</p><p>This kiss was slower than the others, like they were finally able to take it easy now that they knew they had time to give and to waste.  There was no urgent rush, no pressing end to put off, no impending imaginary doom, and it felt positively luxurious.  They were able to take a step back and relax and just explore each other, deliberately and full of purpose.</p><p>Their movements were synchronous, which shouldn't have been surprising considering they always did everything in tandem, including falling for each other, but Tanaka reveled in it.  He loved the way their mouths opened and closed to each other in an easy rhythm and how their hands carefully traversed the familiar planes of the other's body.</p><p>He carded the fingers of one hand through Noya's soft, sleep-mussed hair and enjoyed the way Noya's pleased hum buzzed against his lips.  The buzz carried itself further than just his lips, spread by leftover adrenaline until his whole body was quietly shaking with joy and disbelief.  He was sure he would've shaken apart if it weren't for Noya's arms around him, holding him together.</p><p>Noya smiled against him and clipped Tanaka's lower lip between his teeth.  Tanaka let out a soft, surprised grunt at the sensation, then shivered when Noya smoothed over the lip with his tongue before biting it again, more fully this time, and then dragging his teeth off.</p><p>"Fuck," Tanaka breathed once his lip was released.</p><p>"Yeah," Noya agreed, then shifted against Tanaka, forcing him back and to the side for a few steps until Tanaka's back hit the hallway.  Noya stepped close, placing one leg between Tanaka's, bringing his hipbone in contact with the previously-unnoticed bulge growing in Tanaka's pants.</p><p>Tanaka gasped and canted his hips in search of the friction and pressure, and Noya latched his fingers behind Tanaka's neck, pressing his thumbs into the hollows behind Tanaka's ears.  Noya opened his mouth against Tanaka's lips but held it there, unmoving, and they just breathed each other's air for several heart-stopping moments.  The electricity that he'd wanted to feel on his date with Saito now ran like an active current between them, and he couldn't believe that everything he'd ever wanted and needed had been right in front of him the whole time.</p><p>"What do you want, Ryuu?" Noya murmured.</p><p>It was the same question he'd asked the night before.  Then, Tanaka didn't have an answer.  Now, he did.</p><p>"You," he replied, and Noya captured his mouth once more.</p><p>The ferocity from earlier was back, present in Noya's eager hands as they pushed Tanaka's jacket off his shoulders and in the way Tanaka's tongue dragged along Noya's.  Tanaka shrugged his shoulders to rid himself of the jacket, temporarily removing his arms from Noya's waist to do so, just to slip his hands under Noya's overlarge sleep shirt once they were free.  The skin at Noya's waist was hot and smooth, and Tanaka thumbed his hipbones as Noya rocked eagerly against him.</p><p>"Fuck, Ryuu," Noya whispered, then his fingers were struggling with Tanaka's belt and the button of his pants.</p><p>Seized with a sudden worry, Tanaka gripped Noya's wrists and halted his movements.</p><p>"Too soon?" Noya asked, looking up at him with concern.</p><p>"No, no, I want—I really want to, believe me," Tanaka said a little dizzily. "I just, I want you to know it's not—I want all of this, you know?  It's not just about the sex, which I do really<em>, really </em>want.  But I want all of it.  All of <em>you</em>."</p><p>"You don't just want me for my body?" Noya teased, sensuously sliding and rolling himself against Tanaka.</p><p>He shuddered and released Noya's wrists, hips jerking uncontrollably as he whispered, "Shit, Noya, you know—"</p><p>"I know what you're saying, and I love you for it," Noya interrupted.  Tanaka blushed and tried to look away, but Noya cupped his cheeks with both hands and looked him right in the eyes. "Tanaka Ryuunosuke, will you be my boyfriend?"</p><p>"Yes," he replied, probably way too quickly to be cool, but this was Noya after all, who'd seen him in all his most embarrassing states.  If he couldn't be dumb and uncool in front of Noya, then what was the point of any of this?</p><p>"Good," Noya said with a grin and a quick kiss. "Now, whaddaya say we move somewhere more appropriate?"</p><p>Noya hooked his fingers in Tanaka's belt loops, and Tanaka felt his dick twitch in his pants.  He groaned with arousal as Noya laughed and tugged, leading them back down the hall toward his bedroom.  Tanaka grinned and let himself be pulled along, shedding his shirt as they crossed through the doorway.  Noya's eyes widened appreciatively, and he bodily shoved Tanaka against the door, effectively shutting it and pinning Tanaka in place at the same time.</p><p>"Fuck," Tanaka breathed as Noya peppered kissed over his sternum, hands roaming up and down his sides.</p><p>"You're <em>so</em> fucking hot," Noya growled, dragging his teeth over the curve of Tanaka's left pectoral. "I've dreamed about this."</p><p>"M-Me too," Tanaka admitted.</p><p>"And you had the audacity to think you were straight?" Noya teased, then flicked his tongue out over Tanaka's nipple.</p><p>Tanaka cursed and used one hand to pull Noya up into a bruising kiss as his other arm wound around Noya's waist and scooped him up off the ground with practiced ease.  He staggered away from the door as Noya's legs wrapped automatically around him.  When they got to the unmade bed, he turned around and tried to effortlessly sit them down, but instead he ended up gracelessly toppling over.</p><p>They laughed as they bounced, separating their mouths so they could adjust into a more comfortable position.  Tanaka laid so he was resting on his elbows, legs hanging off the edge of the mattress with Noya straddling and sitting upright above him.</p><p>Tanaka watched hungrily as Noya pulled his shirt up over his head.  His eyes tracked the slow reveal of the muscles in Noya's torso, relishing in the flex and stretch as they moved just under the smooth skin.  Instinctively, shame pooled in his stomach and he forced himself to look away before he remembered he didn't have to do that anymore.  He was free to look, to admire, to treasure, and it absolutely melted him.</p><p>He tilted his head back up and smiled.  Noya's hair really was messy, sticking up in different places, and the blonde tuft that Noya so carefully combed out and separated every morning was tangled in with the rest of his dark locks.  A pretty flush painted his cheeks, and his lips were already red and swollen from their kissing.  He followed the angle of Noya's nose to his eyes, which were dark and trained on his.</p><p>"What?" Noya asked sheepishly, wrinkling his eyebrows and bringing his hands down to rest on Tanaka's abdomen.</p><p>"What what?" Tanaka asked.</p><p>"You're looking at me like…" Noya trailed off and bit his lip.</p><p>"Like you're beautiful?" Tanaka finished for him. "Like I’m hopelessly in love with you?  Like I can't quite believe this isn't some fantastic dream?"</p><p>Noya pursed his lips to hide his smile but failed, so he bent over and kissed Tanaka again.  Tanaka let himself get pushed flush to the bed, elbows sliding out from under him as he raised one hand to stroke Noya's bare back, tracing the outline of his shoulder blade then down his spine.  Noya shivered against him, mouth opening in a silent gasp, and Tanaka took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside for a moment before pulling away to kiss along Noya's neck.  He found the faded hickey, the one he'd given half by accident that Sunday, and renewed it with intentional vigor.</p><p>Their hips rocked against each other, and Tanaka definitely had a full erection now.  It strained against his jeans, and his hands traveled to grip Noya's ass, guiding his movements as they grinded together.  Noya was making breathy little whimpering sounds in his mouth as they moved, and Tanaka wanted to swallow all of them.</p><p>"I've wanted this for so long," Noya mumbled, pressing his hips down and dragging them deliciously over Tanaka's.</p><p>"I know," Tanaka said, then delivered a sharp bite to Noya's lower lip.</p><p>Noya jolted at the sensation, then threw himself to the side.  Tanaka pouted at the sudden loss of his—of his <em>boyfriend</em> on top of him, but he softened when he realized Noya was wriggling out of his sweatpants.  When Noya was free of them, Tanaka saw that he'd elected to go commando when he went to bed last night, and he was greeted by the welcome sight of Noya's flushed pink cock.</p><p>Tanaka immediately rolled to his side as Noya adjusted to sit against the wall at the head of his bed, and once he was settled Tanaka eagerly filled the space between Noya's open legs.</p><p>"Fuck," Noya whimpered, eyes wide and fixed on Tanaka's as Tanaka loosely wrapped his fingers around Noya's cock.  He stroked up, then pressed a thumb to the slit where beads of pearly precum were accumulating.  Noya moaned, hips juddering, unable to look away, and Tanaka smeared the substance down and followed his hand with his mouth.</p><p>He'd just sealed his lips around the ridge of the head when Noya suddenly said, "Wait," and Tanaka pulled off immediately.</p><p>"What's wrong?" he asked, sudden panic and doubt chilling his veins.  Was this too much too soon?  Should they be taking it slow?  Why did—</p><p>"Shouldn't we get the porn started?" Noya asked.</p><p>Tanaka gaped at him for a moment, then narrowed his eyes right as Noya started giggling.  He reached up with his left hand and lightly patted Noya's cheek in an imitation of a slap.</p><p>"Sorry, sorry," Noya said, placing his hand over Tanaka's before he could pull away and nuzzling into it. "I couldn't help myself."</p><p>"We're never watching porn again," Tanaka told him.</p><p>"Never?" Noya asked with a frown.</p><p>"Well—" Tanaka hesitated. "Maybe not never.  But we don't need to hide behind it anymore.  <em>I</em> don't need to hide behind it."</p><p>Noya's eyes softened. "Damn right."</p><p>Tanaka smiled and stroked his thumb over Noya's cheek, and Noya shifted his head to capture Tanaka's thumb in his mouth.  Noya's teeth dug lightly into the first knuckle as his tongue swiped over the pad, then he sealed his lips around it and <em>sucked</em>, and—damn, was that supposed to feel that good?  It was just his fucking thumb, but holy shit did the way Noya stroked his tongue along it turn him on.</p><p>Noya pulled his mouth away and held Tanaka's hand in both of his, then repeated the treatment to each of Tanaka's fingers, slicking them up with his saliva.  Heat pooled in Tanaka's belly over the course of Noya's ministrations, watching slack-jawed as Noya switched to licking all over Tanaka's palm.  Then he bit the flesh between Tanaka's thumb and index finger, and the sharp pleasure-pain cause Tanaka to moan suddenly.</p><p>With a smile, Noya released his hand, now slippery from Noya's mouth, and Tanaka once again gripped him with it.  Noya should reap the benefits of his hard work, after all, and Tanaka began a steady rhythm, pumping over Noya's dick as he pressed kisses to Noya's inner thighs.</p><p>He remembered the few times previously when he'd imagined changing up their position so that he could try different techniques and how he'd brushed that off as going too far, as going past being friends and just watching porn together.  Now he could indulge himself and give in to his urges, his imagination, and his fantasies.  Now he could trace his tongue over the tendon sticking out from the apex of Noya's thigh, and watch Noya's face melt as he twisted his wrist in the exact way that Noya liked, and claim everything that Noya was willing to give as his.</p><p><em>His</em>, Tanaka thought as an idea sparked in his mind.  He kept stroking Noya in a steady rhythm, but he turned his head and pressed a hard kiss against the tender skin at the innermost part of Noya's thigh.  He nibbled and sucked as Noya gasped above him, one hand gripping Tanaka's free arm, which was draped over Noya's leg.  When he pulled away, he was satisfied to see the beginnings of a bruise in this place that nobody else would see, that only he was privy to.</p><p>It gave him a sudden rush of power and affection to know that he was the only one with the privilege of seeing Noya this way, of being the only one who got to do these things with him, and Tanaka knew he wanted to do everything with Noya.  There was so much he wanted to try and experiment with, and now they could.  What they'd done before had been incredible, of course, but now that they could just be together and enjoy each other without the masks and the pretending, he had a feeling the sex would only get better.</p><p>Tanaka moved down to Noya's balls, heavy and waiting for him.  He darted his tongue out against them, tasting the heady skin, and Noya moaned when Tanaka took one into his mouth and massaged it with his tongue as his hand continued working over Noya's cock.  He repeated the action with the other, then removed his mouth and collected his true prize.</p><p>The head of Noya's dick was flushed and leaking, and Tanaka teased it with tiny little kitten licks all around the crown.  Noya writhed, legs pressing in against Tanaka where he lay between them.  He swiped his tongue against the slit, taking in the precum that gathered there because of him, because of the pleasure he was giving to Noya.  Noya shuddered, both hands now tweaking his nipples as Tanaka bent his head and took Noya's plush cock in his mouth.</p><p>"Oh, fuck," Noya moaned, eyes fixed on Tanaka's.</p><p>They stared at each other as Tanaka slid slowly down, taking as much of Noya into his mouth as he could manage and making up for the rest with his spit- and precum-slathered hand.  Noya covered his mouth with one hand, muffling a groan as Tanaka rubbed his tongue against the sensitive organ on his way back up.</p><p>"Shit, Ryuu, you look—" He gasped as Tanaka abruptly increased his speed, switching from a languorous, teasing crawl to a fast bob.  The head bumped rhythmically against the back of Tanaka's throat, and it made him want to learn how to take more in someday.</p><p>Tanaka continued the quick pace, moaning as he did so, loving the heat and the pulses and the scent and the sounds.  Saliva was pooling in his mouth, but he didn't take the time to try to suck it away or swallow it down, so it just dribbled past his stretched-wide lips and covered his hand, which aided him as he twisting his hand around the base of Noya's dick.  It felt dirty and slutty and fucking amazing.</p><p>An idea occurred to him, and he moved his left hand from where it had been scratching lightly over the hairs of Noya's thigh down between Noya's legs and fondled his balls once more before the pads of his fingers drifted down to the perineum.  He stroked the patch of skin a couple times, then began to press, changing the angle and the pressure until—</p><p>"<em>Fuck!</em>" Noya exclaimed, throwing his head back as his whole body jolted.</p><p>Tanaka did it again, and Noya's mouth fell open as soundless babble came out.  His legs wrapped themselves around Tanaka's shoulders, and it felt a little like he was being held by a boa constrictor.</p><p>"Oh fuck, oh <em>shit</em>, oh—was that my fucking prostate?" Noya asked, bewildered.</p><p>Tanaka pulled his mouth up and smiled. "Yeah.  Read about it online," he said, using his hand to tap the head of Noya's dick against his lips, leaning into the thrill that acting like a harlot gave him.  Some precum got on his upper lip, and he licked it away as Noya watched.  Noya's eyes rolled in his head as a long, shuddery exhale blew out of him.</p><p>"You're gonna be the death of me," Noya mumbled. "My tombstone's gonna read, 'Here lies Nishinoya Yuu, fucked to death by his sexy-ass boyfriend.'  What a way to go."</p><p>He laughed obligingly as the word<em> boyfriend</em> rang like golden bells in his ears, then he slipped his mouth back over the head and laved attention on the smooth skin as he continued to massage Noya's perineum.  Noya moaned and shuddered through it all, fingers curling into the bedsheets at his sides.</p><p>"I-I won't last long if you keep—<em>ah</em>!—keep doing that," Noya warned.</p><p>Tanaka pulled his hand away and smoothed it over Noya's thigh once more. "Well, we can't have that."</p><p>"No?" Noya asked, arching one eyebrow.</p><p>He hummed in response, and with his other hand he made a circle with his thumb and index finger and squeezed tightly at the base of Noya's dick, watching annoyance flare on Noya's face as his pending orgasm faded away.  As he did so, his mind whirred with what Noya had said and what to do next.  He knew he wanted to do more than their usual blowjobs and handjobs, but he wasn't quite sure what.  Or, rather, he was sure, but he just didn't know how to say it.</p><p>"Hey," Noya said softly. "You okay?"</p><p>Tanaka lifted his head off once more. "What?"</p><p>"You seem distracted now," Noya continued. "Wanna change positions, or I can blow you for a while instead?  Or we can just make out?  Whatever you want."</p><p>Affection bubbled up in Tanaka's chest, and it overwhelmed him for a moment.  He pressed his burning face into Noya's abdomen and mumbled, "Too good, you're too good for me."</p><p>He felt the vibrations of Noya's laugh through where he was buried against Noya's stomach, and then there was a hand stroking soothingly over his head.</p><p>"Hey, what is it?" Noya asked.</p><p>"Oh, I…" Tanaka lifted his head and licked his lips, which were salty and swollen, and tried to sort through his emotions. "I was thinking…"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Well, um…"</p><p>Noya reached down and cupped Tanaka's cheek with one hand. "What do you want, Ryuu?"</p><p>Tanaka wondered if that was going to become a thing for them: Noya asking him what he wanted.  If it helped him spit out his thoughts, he wouldn't complain, but it was a little embarrassing to have this much trouble expressing himself.  But maybe that was just par for the course when he'd spent so many years lying to himself.  It would probably take just as long to undo that habit.</p><p>"I-I want to be the one fucked to death," he blurted.</p><p>Noya blinked, and Tanaka buried his face in Noya's stomach again, nose pressed against Noya's hipbone.  The silence was long, and Tanaka was dimly aware of the fact that he still had a hand wrapped around Noya's cock.  He wasn't sure what course of action would be more awkward (removing it or resuming his rhythm), so he just decided to stay put and not draw attention to it.</p><p>"<em>What?</em>" Noya asked finally</p><p>Tanaka grimaced. "I…I want—"</p><p>"You want me to fuck you?" Noya sounded incredulous.</p><p>"Y-Yeah, but if—well, only if you want to?" Tanaka asked, mumbling the words against Noya's skin.</p><p>"Oh fuck yeah," Noya said on a heavy exhale. "<em>Shit</em>, yeah, of course, but—I just thought—wait, you're not just offering to like placate me or something, are you?"</p><p>Tanaka jerked his head up and frowned. "What?"</p><p>"Cause like, I just figured you would want it the other way around?" Noya continued, arching one eyebrow. "I mean, usually the bigger guy tops, so I just assumed that you'd want me bottom when we got there even though it's such a stupid stereotype, but also you like <em>just</em> came to terms with being—something," he said, quickly skipping over a label that Tanaka hadn't yet chosen, "so I guess I'm just surprised you already want a dick up your ass, and I wanna make sure it's because you actually want it and not just cause you think it'll make me happy or whatever."</p><p>"Won't it?" Tanaka asked. "Make you happy?"</p><p>Noya frowned. "That's not the question."</p><p>"I know," Tanaka replied, and briefly pursed his lips. "I…I do want it.  Really."</p><p>Noya still looked doubtful.</p><p>Tanaka sighed. "Do you remember the…the first time we watched gay porn?  In the clubroom?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"When I watched it, I thought about you a lot.  You had just come out to me, and it got my brain all wired thinking about it and the video, and I wondered if you envisioned yourself in the video, if you wanted what was happening there to happen to you.  And then I thought about if you wanted to be the bottom or the top, and when I imagined you as the top—" He swallowed, feeling heated just at the memory. "That's when I came."</p><p>"Oh," Noya said, blinking. "That's, uh…that's pretty gay, Ryuu."</p><p>Tanaka groaned. "I know, I know, I should've realized how I felt a long-ass time ago.  It's like there were fucking neon signs pointing right at you this whole time but I'd put on a fucking blindfold."</p><p>"But you really want me to fuck you?"</p><p>"Y…yeah," Tanaka replied, blushing hard. "I can't really explain it, but I—I want it."</p><p>To his horror, Noya suddenly laughed. "You're really a zero to sixty kind of dude, aren't ya?"</p><p>"What does that mean?!"</p><p>"You asked Kiyoko to marry you the first time you saw her," Noya said teasingly, "and now you've gone from having an aneurysm at the thought of liking me to declaring your love and asking me to top you in under twelve hours."</p><p>"Sh-shut up," Tanaka mumbled.</p><p>"Don't be embarrassed.  I like it."</p><p>Tanaka pursed his lips and pouted a little, and Noya reached down to place both hands on his cheeks.</p><p>"C'mere," he urged, pulling lightly.</p><p>Tanaka allowed himself to be tugged up, and he released Noya's erection as they readjusted themselves so they were lying on their sides next to each other.  One of Noya's hands was pinned between Tanaka's face and the pillow, and the other brushed lightly over Tanaka's side.  Tanaka shivered under the gentle touch, and he pressed forward and brought their lips together.  He wondered if Noya could taste himself on Tanaka's tongue, and the idea gave him even more goosebumps.</p><p>As they kissed and explored each other's mouths, Tanaka felt himself relax, which was surprising since he hadn't realized he'd gotten so tense in the first place.  But Noya clearly had, and as his hand soothed over Tanaka's side, tracing his ribs and his spine and invisible patterns that only made sense to Noya, Tanaka was certain nobody would ever know him as well as Noya did.</p><p>Noya trailed his hands down Tanaka's bare chest, less defined now since he hadn't been to practice in weeks, but Noya still smiled appreciatively under Tanaka's lips as he felt all over the skin and the muscles and the smush.  He pushed lightly, and Tanaka rolled fully on to his back.  Noya's fingers found a trail of dark hair and followed it down from Tanaka's belly button.  Tanaka's breathing got shaky with anticipation as Noya slipped a hand over his jeans, pressing against his thickening cock through the unyielding fabric.</p><p>"You hard for me, Ryuu?" Noya asked, whispering the words into the cavern of his mouth.</p><p>Tanaka nodded, at a sudden loss for words.  He'd been hard since they started making out in the doorway, and his erection had strained for attention while he labored over Noya's dick earlier.  It had gone down somewhat during their conversation, but it was back in full force now and aching for release from the confines of his pants.</p><p>"You want me to touch you, Ryuu?" Noya continued, running his fingers teasingly just slightly under the waistband of his jeans.  He moved his mouth away from Tanaka's to kiss over his cheekbone until he rested his face on the pillow, lips pressed right to Tanaka's ear. "You want my mouth on you?  You want my hands on you, over you, in you?"</p><p>"<em>Fuck</em>," Tanaka moaned, pressing his face into Noya's. "Yes, yes please."</p><p>Noya popped open the button of Tanaka's pants and dipped his fingers lower, stroking against Tanaka's abdomen, and just that simple touch felt ridiculously good.  He sighed heavily, his mouth watering at the thought of Noya's hand wandering even lower.</p><p>"And how about my tongue?" Noya asked, darting said organ out to flick against Tanaka's ear.  Goosebumps shot up along his arms and legs, and he felt Noya smile. "You want it inside you, too?"</p><p>Tanaka whimpered, reaching out and rubbing his hand up and down Noya's arm just to give himself something else to focus on.  Noya slowly undid the zipper of Tanaka's pants, and his erection throbbed at the sensation of almost-freedom.</p><p>"You want me to work you open?" Noya huffed. "Stretch you on my fingers for the first time?  Bet you've never even fingered yourself, huh?  Bet you've got a tight little virgin ass."</p><p>"<em>Shit</em>, Noya," Tanaka whined, face burning even as the dirty talk turned him on.</p><p>"That means I'll be the first, and I'll claim it as mine.  I'll be such a good first, Ryuu, you won't ever want anyone else.  I'll take real good care of you, open you carefully until I'm three fingers in and two knuckles deep.  And once I'm done stuffing you with my fingers, I'll fuck you with my tongue.  Get you nice and wet for me, so that when I finally stick my cock in it'll glide so easily."</p><p>Noya's fingers finally slipped further down, caressing Tanaka over the soft fabric of his boxers, and Tanaka gasped at the touch.  His boyfriend's hand was firm but teasing as it squeezed all around him.  The boxers were exceedingly uncomfortable now, with a large wet spot covering the front from all the precum he'd been dribbling.</p><p>"And do you wanna know what I'll do then?"</p><p>"Wh-what?" Tanaka asked, his voice hoarse with arousal.</p><p>"Then I'll fuck you, Ryuu.  Nice and slow.  <em>Achingly</em> slow, to get you used to the size of me as I spread you over my dick.  I can already see how pretty your hole will look, all pink and wet and stretched out for me.  Just for me.  I'll go back and forth, back and forth, taking my sweet ass time, and I won't give you more until you're begging for it."</p><p>"Please," Tanaka mumbled as he pictured it, pictured the slow and steady burn and being completely helpless to whatever rhythm Noya established.  He ached at the thought of it, at the vulnerability, at the trust he'd need to put into Noya.</p><p>"That's when I'll really fuck you," Noya promised roughly. "I'll fucking <em>pound</em> into you until you see stars.  I'll spear you open so hard you'll feel me there for ages.  When I finish and pull out you'll feel empty, like you're gaping and barren, and you won't ever feel complete again without me inside you."</p><p>Tanaka groaned and shifted forward to rest his head over Noya's and bury his face against Noya's neck and shoulder.  Underneath him, he felt Noya's tongue trace along his collarbone while lower down his body Noya's hand finally slipped under his boxers.  The first brush of fingers against the head of his dick had him gasping and mindlessly rocking against Noya's hand as white spots popped at the edges of his vision.</p><p>"Does that sound like what you want, Ryuu?" Noya asked, voice muffled by the pillow and being covered by Tanaka's neck.</p><p>"Yes, yes, Yuu, please, I—"</p><p>Noya wrenched his hand out of Tanaka's pants and pulled his head free, then threw himself over so he was straddling Tanaka.  It happened so fast Tanaka's head was spinning, but he didn't have long to dwell on it because then Noya was crushing their faces together in a rough kiss.  If their lips pressed any harder Tanaka was sure the skin would split, especially with the way Noya teethed at his lower lip.</p><p>Tanaka's arms wound around Noya's torso, pulling their bodies flush.  Noya's hips rocked slightly, and Tanaka could feel the hard cock sliding against his abdomen as they kissed.  Then he imagined that cock sliding inside his ass, and his own erection pulsed with excitement.</p><p>"You drive me crazy," Noya growled, fingers digging almost painfully into the sides of Tanaka's face.</p><p>"You're one to talk," Tanaka replied breathily, breaking away to press kisses to the column of Noya's throat.  Noya slumped forward, forehead to Tanaka's shoulder as he panted and accepted them, then turned his head and bit sharply at Tanaka's neck.  He gasped, back arching as Noya released the skin and soothed it with his tongue.</p><p>"No, seriously," Noya continued, shifting down and away from Tanaka's mouth, which made him frown, but he held his complaints back when Noya began to lick down his torso, fingers tweaking over Tanaka's nipples and making him gasp. "You have no idea how attractive you are, Ryuu."</p><p>Noya kissed and licked over Tanaka's abdomen as he went lower, shifting down the bed and nestling between Tanaka's legs as he moved.  He teased Tanaka's hipbones with his teeth, then pushed the unzipped panels of Tanaka's jeans out of the way so he could kiss lightly against his lower belly.  Then he moved to mouth over the boxers, and Tanaka moaned at the wet heat of Noya's mouth, present even through the fabric.</p><p>"These are in the way," Noya said, abruptly sitting up and gripping the waist band of Tanaka's pants.</p><p>"Finally," Tanaka groaned, lifting his hips to assist Noya in taking them off.  Noya slipped them off his ass, boxers included, and then Tanaka lowered himself back down as Noya pulled them down his legs.  His cock stood ready, flushed red and dripping and aching for attention.  Noya dropped the pants over the edge of the bed and was just beginning to lean forward, mouth open in anticipation, when Tanaka blurted, "Wait."</p><p>Noya looked questioningly at him.</p><p>Tanaka blushed. "Um, my…my socks."</p><p>"What about them?"</p><p>"T-take them off?"</p><p>A wide smile spread across Noya's lips, and Tanaka covered his face with his hands.</p><p>"Ohoho, so we're going full homo, huh?" Noya said teasingly, lifting one of Tanaka's legs with one hand while the other slipped under the hem of his sock and pulled it off in one smooth motion.</p><p>"I asked you to fuck me in the ass, Noya, I think we're past full homo," Tanaka mumbled.</p><p>Noya laughed appreciatively and took the other sock off.  Tanaka still had his hands over his face, cheeks burning with embarrassment, so he was completely unprepared for when Noya closed his lips around the head of his dick.  He exhaled shakily as Noya's tongue set to work swirling around the crown and lapping up the precum that hadn't yet dripped down his shaft.</p><p>"Fuck, Noya," Tanaka moaned.</p><p>A hand came up to twist around the base, smearing the precum and spit that had drooled down Tanaka's erection.  Noya bobbed up and down on Tanaka's dick, and his free hand wandered down to grip at his balls, pinching and rolling them around in his palm.  After a few minutes, Noya drifted his fingers down and stroked over Tanaka's taint, and for a moment Tanaka thought Noya would try to stimulate his prostate like he had, but then the fingers dipped further, and the breath blew out of him in surprise as Noya brushed over the tight swirl of muscle between his asscheeks.</p><p>Noya pulled his mouth off to speak, but his hand kept pumping. "Hey.  You okay?"</p><p>"Yeah," Tanaka replied, staring up at the ceiling.</p><p>"We don't have to do this today," Noya told him. "There's no rush.  We have all the time in the world now, right?"</p><p>Tanaka's heart swelled, and he looked down at Noya and nodded. "We do.  But I…I still want to.  Or at least try."</p><p>"If you're sure," Noya said, smiling at him.  He slipped out from between Tanaka's legs and rolled off the bed, then walked to the bedside table where he retrieved a bottle of lube.  He stared at it for a moment, then turned to leave the room.</p><p>"Noya?" Tanaka asked, turning to watch him.</p><p>"I'll be right back," Noya told him over his shoulder, so Tanaka relaxed and enjoyed the view as Noya walked out into the hallway.  True to his word, he did return a moment later—with a familiar box of condoms in his hand.</p><p>"Is that—" Tanaka started, then burst into laughter. "Oh my god, you better put that back before your mom gets home or she'll never let us live it down."</p><p>"She can reap what she's sown," Noya replied, tossing the box into the drawer he'd left open.  He pulled one of the foil-wrapped condoms out then shut the drawer. "Besides, she won't know I'm using them with you."</p><p>"Um."</p><p>Noya paused as he climbed back on to the bed. "What?" he asked suspiciously.</p><p>"When I came over, I may have run into her on her way to work," Tanaka said slowly, "and I may have confessed and asked for her blessing."</p><p>"You <em>what?</em>" Noya exclaimed, giggling and shaking his head as he returned to his spot between Tanaka's legs. "You absolute dork."</p><p>"You like it."</p><p>"I love it," Noya corrected, and placed a kiss on the inside of Tanaka's knee.</p><p>The gesture was sensual and loving, and their eyes stayed locked as Noya kissed the soft skin, and even though it was technically nowhere near as intimate as Noya sucking his dick only moments earlier, it still had Tanaka's heart swooping in his chest.</p><p>"And you're sure you want this?" Noya asked, settling to sit on his knees and flipping open the lid on the bottle.</p><p>Tanaka nodded fervently even as he had an urge to pull his legs closed, which wasn't even possible with Noya in the way unless he pulled them up and curled into a ball like a baby.  But the sudden feeling of vulnerability that came over him still made him want to hide from it even though he was simultaneously certain he wanted this.</p><p>"I need to hear you say it, Ryuu.  You need to talk to me, tell me what feels good and what doesn’t and if you want me to stop at any time," Noya told him. "If you don't say anything I won't keep going, got it?"</p><p>"Got it," Tanaka replied. "I want it.  Please, Noya, I…I want you."</p><p>Noya tipped the bottle over and squirted some lube over his fingers. "I'll be gentle."</p><p>"Have you done this before?" Tanaka asked.</p><p>"To myself, yeah," Noya said, rubbing his thumb over his fingers to spread the lube and to try to warm it up.</p><p>Tanaka closed his eyes and stifled a moan at the mental image of Noya with his fingers stuffed up his own ass.</p><p>"This'll be a little cold," Noya warned then reached down and stroked his fingers over the cleft of Tanaka's asscheeks.</p><p>He inhaled shakily at the chill, but it quickly dissipated.  Noya's fingers moved steadily, spreading the lube around in circles.  He teased at Tanaka's hole, pressing every now and then to get Tanaka used to feeling pressure without actually entering yet.  His other hand was curved over Tanaka's hip, thumb rubbing soothingly over the bone there.</p><p>"How you feeling?" Noya asked.</p><p>"Good," Tanaka replied honestly.</p><p>"I'm going to start," Noya said, grabbing the lube again and coating his index finger with it. "Is that okay?"</p><p>Tanaka nodded silently again before he remembered Noya's request. "Yes," he said with more confidence than he actually felt.</p><p>Noya's fingers returned to his ass, and he stroked his thumb over Tanaka's taint while his finger teased at Tanaka's entrance once more.  Then he pushed and retreated, then pushed a little more and retreated.  Tanaka briefly wondered if Noya was stalling because he was secretly as nervous as Tanaka was when suddenly—</p><p>"Oh!" Tanaka gasped, eyes flying open.</p><p>The tip of Noya's finger had just breached his opening, and Noya exhaled long and slow, then pulled the finger out and put it back in.  It felt…strange.  Not particularly good, but not bad either.</p><p>"Okay?" Noya asked.</p><p>"Y-yeah."</p><p>Noya responded by pushing in further, and that's when Tanaka really felt the burn start.  He bit his lip, concentrating on the feeling and learning to recognize it, to trust it.  Noya's hand kept massaging Tanaka's hip as his finger moved slowly in and out, which helped distract him from the inherent weirdness of what they were doing.  Tanaka took a deep breath and released it, relaxing into the feeling of Noya's hands, and Noya pushed in even further.</p><p>"A-ah," Tanaka huffed, bewildered by the feeling of something moving so purposefully inside of him. "That's…oh wow," he said as he felt the backs of Noya's other fingers brush up against his ass, and the knowledge that Noya was almost three knuckles deep did something to him.</p><p>"Different, huh?" Noya asked.</p><p>Tanaka nodded, and Noya kept moving in a steady rhythm.  He wasn't doing anything to really stretch or test Tanaka yet, just working to get Tanaka used to the feeling of it.  Then, a few minutes later, he started to curl his finger, stroking at Tanaka's insides, and that felt…good.</p><p>"God, Ryuu," Noya whispered. "I can feel you."</p><p>"Feel you too," Tanaka replied, moving his eyes away from the ceiling to look at his boyfriend, and his breath rushed out of him.</p><p>Noya's face was tilted downward, staring at Tanaka's ass, but Tanaka could see the mixture of fascination and arousal painted across his features.  His lip was caught in his lower teeth, and Tanaka wanted badly to sit up and kiss it, but he stayed put in order to not disrupt Noya's concentration.</p><p>The finger inside him curled and circled, pressing out at the edges of his hole, and the burn made Tanaka hiss slightly, but it was a pleasurable sort of pain, like when he pushed himself in practice to the point where his muscles were screaming.  It was the kind of pain where he knew the reward would be worth the effort.</p><p>Noya worked over him for a while longer until Tanaka was hardly thinking about what was happening anymore and was just enjoying the feeling of it.  He'd just begun to rock his hips slightly with the rhythm of Noya's finger when Noya pulled out of him.</p><p>"Wha—" He started, lifting his head to glare at Noya, but he stopped when he saw Noya covering two fingers in more lube.</p><p>"Ready for more?" Noya asked, quirking one eyebrow up.</p><p>"Holy shit." Tanaka's mouth went dry at the sensual look on his boyfriend's face. "Yes, please."</p><p>"Remember to breathe," Noya told him, then put his fingers to Tanaka's entrance once more.</p><p>He stroked the pads of his fingers in small circles over the tight whorl of muscle, then pushed in and <em>oh</em>—that was a burn.  Noya's left hand pinched his hip, which startled Tanaka into releasing the breath he had subconsciously started holding.  He exhaled in a long stream, then breathed in once more as Noya started moving slowly in him.</p><p>One finger had felt strange but tolerable.  Most of his shits were bigger than one finger, which, okay, was probably not something to think about at the moment.  But the point was that the feeling of two fingers inside him was entirely foreign, and they already made him feel so full.  Tanaka couldn't imagine fitting three fingers in, let alone Noya's dick, which was just as big around as his own.</p><p>"You still good?" Noya asked.</p><p>"Y-Yeah, just…take it slow," Tanaka told him.</p><p>"You got it, babe," Noya said, and he kissed Tanaka's knee again, murmuring against it, "Gonna take real good care of you, Ryuu.  I've got you."</p><p>Tanaka believed him.  Of course he did.  Noya would never do anything to hurt him, would never treat him maliciously or do him wrong.  Tanaka trusted him implicitly, so he closed his eyes and let Noya do his work.</p><p>Noya used pretty much the same method with two fingers as he had with the one: starting out slow and pushing in slightly further each time until Noya's knuckles finally bottomed out against Tanaka's taint.  He moved smoothly, allowing Tanaka to get used to the burn, and he even squirted some more lube over his fingers as he slid them in and out.</p><p>Then he started to twist and curl, and that's when the pleasure returned.  Tanaka arched his back, digging his head into the pillow beneath him, and he felt precum drip onto his stomach from his hard and straining erection.  He ached to touch himself, but he worried he wouldn't last until Noya was really inside him if he did, so he regretfully kept his fingers curled into the bedsheets and didn't let them move.</p><p>"You're doing so well, Ryuu," Noya mumbled, and Tanaka felt the fingers inside pull apart and stretch him as Noya moved, scissoring him open, prepping him for the third finger. "Taking me so well.  You have no idea how good you look right now, all splayed out and quivering for me."</p><p>"Fuck, Noya," Tanaka moaned, breaths heaving in his chest.</p><p>"So good, so pretty, so wet," Noya continued, and he bent over to lick up the mess Tanaka was leaving on his own stomach.</p><p>"All for you," Tanaka whispered.</p><p>Noya curled his fingers in response, stroking rhythmically over Tanaka's inner walls.  He jabbed and petted, moving faster now, and Tanaka keened at the incredible feeling of Noya fingerfucking him when—</p><p>"Oh<em> fuck!</em>" Tanaka gasped as every muscle in his body clenched momentarily.</p><p>"There it is," Noya said triumphantly, and he twitched his fingers to hit Tanaka's prostate once more.</p><p>Sharp pleasure roared through him, and he jolted with the force of it.  Stars crowded at the edges of his closed eyelids, and Noya petted over that sensitive spot again and again.</p><p>"You like that?" Noya asked.</p><p>Tanaka nodded and worked his mouth open and closed as he fought to find the words. "Mmhmm, N-Noya, hnnn—"</p><p>"I got ya," Noya replied, and he ceased his barrage. "Won't last long if I keep pressing your buttons, hm?"</p><p>"Mmm," Tanaka responded, veins still swimming with hormones.</p><p>He heard Noya messing with the lube bottle again, likely pouring even more over his fingers, when Tanaka felt an intense burn at his opening and realized Noya must've added the third.</p><p>"Okay?" Noya checked.</p><p>"Y-Yeah, it's…a lot," he confessed.</p><p>"Want me to go back to two?"</p><p>"No, it's okay."</p><p>"You sure?"</p><p>"Mmm."</p><p>Noya withdrew his fingers. "Ryuu," he said firmly, causing Tanaka to look up at him. "You don't sound sure."</p><p>"I am," Tanaka said sincerely. "I love you for being so concerned, but I promise I'm not about to break.  It is a lot, but I want it.  Please, Yuu."</p><p>Desire flashed across Noya's face, and he ducked his head and cursed under his breath. "You can't keep doing that to me."</p><p>"I can if it works," Tanaka replied with a grin. "<em>Yuu</em>."</p><p>Noya groaned, then stretched up on his knees and rested his left hand next to Tanaka's ribcage to brace himself as he leaned forward and kissed Tanaka fully on the lips.  He teased the fingers of his right hand over Tanaka's hole again, pushing two in easily, causing Tanaka to moan into his mouth.</p><p>"You feel so good," Tanaka mumbled. "Inside me like this." He clenched his muscles around Noya's fingers, and Noya shuddered above him.</p><p>"Fuck, Ryuu," he moaned, then Tanaka felt his ring finger pushing tentatively at the edges of his entrance.</p><p>"Do it," Tanaka told him.</p><p>Noya nodded and kissed him one last time before withdrawing back down to lay between his legs.  He settled with his arm under Tanaka's thigh and bent his head to kiss at Tanaka's balls, sending shivers up and down Tanaka's arms.  Then, without him noticing, Noya suddenly had three fingers inside him again.</p><p>He forced himself to breathe, easily distracted from the burn and stretch by Noya mouthing lazily over him.  The fingers pushed inside him steadily, always retreating just when the pain became slightly too much.  Noya occasionally brushed lightly over Tanaka's prostate, hard to avoid with how much he was filling Tanaka, and it had him keening whenever it happened.</p><p>The feeling of fullness was so strange and new, but he also thought he might love it.  The intimacy of having Noya inside him, touching him where nothing's ever touched him before, exploring this new territory together, made his head spin.  As his body grew used to accommodating Noya's fingers, he started to really enjoy it once more.  His hips squirmed under Noya's touch, trying to grind down against Noya's hand, and he felt Noya smile where his boyfriend's mouth was pressed to his hip.</p><p>"You're so hot, Ryuu," Noya murmured against his skin, nosing through the coarse hair at the base of Tanaka's dick. "Feeling you around me, hearing your sounds."</p><p>"Fuck," Tanaka moaned as Noya slid lower, kissing the skin of his thighs.</p><p>"Do you taste as good as you feel?"</p><p>Tanaka whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut and reaching down to brush a hand over Noya's hair.  Noya tilted his head into Tanaka's touch, so he wound his fingers through the dark locks and pulled lightly.  Noya moaned openly, sending vibrations over Tanaka's skin, and Tanaka licked his lips.  Then Noya shifted down, angling his head at the apex of Tanaka's thighs and licked along the perineum as he pumped his fingers in and out.</p><p>The feel of Noya's wet tongue on him sent tremors through his body, and his fingers tightened in Noya's hair.  Noya hummed and trailed his tongue lower, teasing at the stretched open ring of muscle that his gripped his fingers.  Tanaka moaned at the sensation, wiggling his hips in anticipation.</p><p>"Mind if I adjust you?" Noya asked.</p><p>"Whatever you need," Tanaka said breathlessly. "Just—just touch me, please."</p><p>"How's a guy supposed to say no to that?" Noya murmured, and he withdrew his fingers.</p><p>Tanaka whined at the loss of them, feeling empty and a little sad, but he didn't have long to dwell on it because then Noya was sitting up and tugging Tanaka by the hips.  He slid down off the pillow, his back propped up on Noya's knees and chest, his bare ass and legs waving in the air like lewd flags.  His leaking dick hung near his face, and if Noya bent him over any more, he'd be able to suck it himself, which—huh, maybe they should consider doing that someday, but right now he was too distracted by Noya looming over him with arousal-darkened eyes and a mischievous smile.</p><p>The exposed, helpless position made Tanaka blush, especially as Noya's slippery fingers spread his cheeks and he lowered his mouth to Tanaka's ass.  The first touch of Noya's tongue to his hole sent a visceral shock through him, and he choked out a moan as Noya probed past the entrance and pressed inside him.  Noya pulled out and closed his lips over it in a loud, wet kiss, and then pushed his tongue in once more.</p><p>Noya wasn't able to go as deep with his tongue as he could with his fingers, but the wet heat was more than enough to make up for it, and his tongue was more flexible than his fingers were, able to push and pull every which way.  The noises he made were filthy, too, moaning openly and slurping as he ate Tanaka out.  After a few minutes, Noya worked in a finger along with his tongue, and Tanaka was shaking from the pleasure.</p><p>"D'you wanna come like this?" Noya asked, lightly biting Tanaka's ass as he pumped two fingers in and out again.</p><p>"Wh-what?" Tanaka stammered, trying to think through the cloud in his brain. "I want—Noya, I thought—"</p><p>"You still want that?"</p><p>"Y-yeah, don't—don't you?" Tanaka asked.</p><p>"Do I—fuck, Ryuu, you have no idea how much I want that," Noya murmured, and he worked the third finger in once more, causing Tanaka to cry out and shake. "Want you writhing and whimpering under me as I fuck your brains out."</p><p>"Yes, yes please," Tanaka moaned.</p><p>Noya pressed a kiss to his taint. "Just don't want to overwhelm you, Ryuu.  Don't wanna hurt you or use you too much."</p><p>"You won't," Tanaka panted. "I trust you.  I <em>want</em> you.  Noya, please, just—please fuck me."</p><p>Noya let out a trembling breath and nodded. "Yeah.  Yeah okay.  You want to be on top, maybe, or on your knees?"</p><p>"No, this…on my back is good."</p><p>"Good," Noya said with a smile as he scooted his knees out from underneath Tanaka and lowered him back to the bed. "I want to see your face."</p><p>Tanaka pursed his lips and resisted the urge to cross his arms over his face in his embarrassment.  He was rewarded for his bravery by Noya stretching up against his body and kissing him fully.  Their erections rubbed together, raw and electric, and Tanaka was reminded of their first kiss just last week as they rocked their hips against each other.</p><p>Had it really only been a week?  It felt like ages had passed since his freak out and subsequent avoidance of Noya, and then the emotional rollercoaster of the past twenty-four hours had been something else entirely.  And then there was right now, this bubble they inhabited together, that felt like it existed somewhere outside of time, like the two of them were eternal in this way.</p><p>Noya's lips and tongue slid sensuously along his as Noya's left hand caressed his face.  His boyfriend's fingers traced the hard line of his jaw, then gripped his chin, forcing his mouth open so Noya could dominate the kiss.  He moaned, sinking back and allowing Noya to control the pace of the kiss.  Noya moved hungrily, like he wanted to devour Tanaka whole, and Tanaka was so gone on him that he might just let it happen if he didn't have another goal in mind.</p><p>"Noya," he murmured when Noya pulled away to kiss and nip at the hollow of his throat. "You're getting distracted."</p><p>"Just getting my fill," Noya replied, kissing Tanaka's bruised lips again. "I don't think I'll be able to reach when I'm…," He braced his hands on the bed and glanced down at their hips and his short torso, "…you know?"</p><p>"Ah," Tanaka replied eloquently, and Noya kissed him briefly once—twice—three more times before slithering down Tanaka's chest and kneeling before him once more.</p><p>Noya messed with the lube bottle once more and resumed fingering Tanaka with his right hand while he stroked himself to full hardness with his left.  Tanaka rolled his hips in time with Noya's movements, enjoying the now-familiar burn and feeling of Noya stroking inside him.  Moments later, Noya withdrew, and he heard the crinkle of the condom wrapper as Noya tore it open.</p><p>He put an arm behind his head to raised it so he could get a better look at Noya.  Noya's hands shook ever so slightly as he rolled the condom down his flushed cock.</p><p>"Hey," Tanaka said, and Noya's hazel eyes flicked up to his. "Are <em>you</em> sure you want to do this today?"</p><p>"Yeah, I'm good," Noya replied, squirting lube into his hand and slathering his condom-wrapped dick with it.</p><p>"Cause you keep checking in with me, and I haven't done the same," Tanaka said. "It's okay if you're not ready."</p><p>Noya smiled at him. "I love you for that, but I'm ready if you're ready.  I promise, Ryuu."</p><p>"Then I guess we're both ready."</p><p>"I guess we are," Noya said, and he used his left hand to pet over Tanaka's hip and thigh.  He gripped himself with his other hand and tapped the head of his dick against Tanaka's balls. "Fuck, Ryuu, you're so pretty.  All spread out and ready for me.  Waiting for me to fuck you."</p><p>"Emphasis on waiting," Tanaka teased, even as his heartrate was picking up with nervousness.</p><p>Noya rolled his eyes. "Impatient," he muttered, then slowly shifted forward.</p><p>Tanaka felt the tip of Noya's dick press against his entrance, and, despite himself, he gasped.  The muscles in his legs tensed, wrapping around Noya as best they could.  Noya's left thumb pressed circles into his hipbone.</p><p>"Relax, baby," Noya murmured. "I've got you."</p><p>He nodded and took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he forced himself to let go and trust in Noya.  Noya was mumbling encouraging things under his breath, but Tanaka wasn't really listening to him.  He just enjoyed the familiar sound of Noya's throaty baritone and let it wrap around him, until four words cut through the haze.</p><p>"I love you, Ryuu," Noya said.</p><p>Tanaka's eyelids lifted, and he gazed up at Noya's soft expression. "I love you too, Yuu," he said, and then Noya pushed in.</p><p>His eyes shut again immediately, jaw stretching open as a high-pitched wail escaped him at the white-hot burn that sent tremors through his body.</p><p>"Fuck," Noya grunted, the fingers of his left hand in a vice-grip on Tanaka's hip. "Oh <em>shit</em>, I—are you okay?"</p><p>"F-Fine," Tanaka gasped. "Just…just give me a second."</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, of course," Noya said immediately, unknowingly proving Tanaka right for wanting this.</p><p>It was an undeniable fact that there was nobody in Tanaka's life who'd ever made him feel as safe and comfortable as Noya did.  Noya was always there when Tanaka needed him, ready to grant Tanaka whatever he needed without question.  He always took care of Tanaka, always knew when it was the right time to offer a stupid joke or a comforting hug or some unwanted but desperately needed advice.</p><p>Tanaka knew it was easy to look at the pair of them and assume that they were equally troublemakers, or that Tanaka was the leader based on his size and shaved head and scowls.  What most people didn't know, though, was that it was actually the other way around.</p><p>Most of Tanaka's bravado existed to cover up the timid, insecure knot that was ever-present in his mind, but he'd always been able to lower his guard and break down his walls for Noya, the only person they didn't exist for.  He did so because he knew Noya wouldn't make fun or take advantage or do anything but treat Tanaka with the sort of care and respect Tanaka wasn't always sure he deserved.</p><p>And that was exactly why Tanaka had wanted it this way, and why he'd been so sure so quickly.  He knew Noya would behave the same way in this instance, knew Noya would be attentive and gentle in the face of Tanaka's vulnerability, knew he'd be allowed to fall to pieces because Noya was there to carefully put him back together after.</p><p>It made sense to him to let Noya take the lead in this like he'd let Noya take the lead in everything they did.  He had always been the one following Noya around, had always admired him and looked up to him.  Ever since that first day in the park when Noya invited him to join in on ninja training, Tanaka had known he'd always do whatever it took to be close to this boy.</p><p>For over five years now he'd been craving ways to be closer to Noya, and for five years they'd been growing nearer and nearer and travelling along this journey together, their separate paths entwining more and more until they arrived at this seemingly inevitable point, the point at which they could be no closer.</p><p>And here Noya was, being exactly the kind of gentleman Tanaka knew him to be, holding himself back even though he was shaking with the effort, all for Tanaka's sake.</p><p>"Yuu, I—" he gasped, overwhelmed by a sudden rush of affection and trust. "I love you.  I'm so—I—<em>Yuu</em>—"</p><p>Noya's face softened. "I love you too."</p><p>"I'm ready," he babbled. "I'm ready, please, Yuu—"</p><p>"<em>Shit</em>," Noya breathed, and gripped Tanaka's waist with both hands. "Yeah, okay.  Let me know if it starts to hurt."</p><p>Tanaka nodded, then forced himself to relax as he felt Noya start to push in further.  The burn was immense, and it was hard to believe for a moment that this would ever start to feel good, but then Noya's hips were flush with his, and he knew Noya was fully sheathed in him.  That fact alone had his dick dribbling precum over his belly, and he whimpered as his eyes fluttered closed.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Noya asked.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, it's…holy shit, Yuu, you feel so big," Tanaka murmured.</p><p>"And you're so tight," Noya replied, then groaned when Tanaka clenched around him. "<em>Fuck</em>, Ryuu, that's good, so fucking good.  I'm…I'm gonna move again, okay?"</p><p>"Please," Tanaka said and relaxed his muscles for Noya's retreat.</p><p>Noya began to pull out, and as the feeling of nearly-unbearable fullness began to fade, he found he missed it immediately.  Luckily he didn't have to wait long for it to return, as Noya thrusted back into him soon after.  A moan slipped out past his lips at the sensation, and Noya started up a slow and steady rhythm.</p><p>Pleasure rolled through him in waves, like he was floating, adrift on a boat of their own design.  Noya moved smoothly inside him, filling him up, and Tanaka was a cup about to overflow.  The burn and stretch were forgotten, laid to the wayside by Noya's presence over, around, and inside him, permeating his body and his mind.  Every inch of his skin felt like it was on fire, fueled by the sparks of Noya's fingers at his hips, pressing into his flesh the same way Noya's cock pressed deep inside, breaching him in a way no one else ever had and or ever would.</p><p>"<em>Yes</em>," Tanaka moaned as Noya's dick stroked through him. "Yes, Yuu, I—" He cut off and shuddered as another roll of mindless sensuality swept flitted over his nervous system, beginning at the base of his spine and spreading to the tips of his fingers and toes.</p><p>"Fuck yeah, Ryuu," Noya mumbled, dull fingernails pulling red lines over Tanaka's skin. "Oh, man, you've gotta try this someday."</p><p>Tanaka hummed as he tried to remember what words were.  Finally, he replied, "I'm good where I am."</p><p>Noya laughed, and Tanaka wanted to wrap himself in that laughter like a blanket, to form a tight cocoon that he never wanted to emerge from.  He'd always known deep down that Noya was his home, but part of him felt he wouldn't be able to rest until he could find some way to crawl inside Noya's heart and be with him always.  Since that wasn't possible, though, this would have to do.</p><p>He still couldn't quite believe they were here, in this moment, doing what they were doing.  Looking back, it had taken them a ridiculously long time to finally reach this point, but it also felt like Tanaka had tripped over the starting line and landed in the winner's circle only a moment later.  But even as he collected his trophy, even as they were as close as two people could possibly be, he still ached for more. </p><p>Tanaka wrapped his legs around Noya's waist and tugged, causing Noya to clumsily bend forward.  He landed on his elbows on either side of Tanaka's chest, rhythm stuttering for an awkward moment as he gathered himself.  His hands snaked underneath Tanaka's broad shoulders as he rocked his hips again, and he latched his mouth on to one of Tanaka's nipples, rolling the bud in his mouth and teasing it with his teeth.</p><p>"Hahhhh," Tanaka hissed, and he brought his hands up from where they'd been clutching desperately at the sheets to wind the fingers of one hand through Noya's hair.  The other clawed over Noya's back, and Noya let out a delighted moan.</p><p>"<em>Shit</em>, you feel so damn good, Ryuu," Noya panted into the valley of his sternum.</p><p>"A-ah, I—you, fuck, y-y-<em>yes</em>," Tanaka babbled incoherently as Noya drove his hips into Tanaka's.</p><p>Noya chuckled low and deep, the wires in Tanaka's brain fizzed and sparked at the alluring sound. "Can't even speak, huh Ryuu?  My cock's got you all tongue tied?"</p><p>"Yuu…" Tanaka whined, twisting his fingers in Noya's hair, which caused the smaller man to croon. "Harder," he choked out.</p><p>"A-Are you sure?" Noya asked. "We can…we can take our time, I don't mind."</p><p>"No, fuck that," Tanaka snapped, peeling open his eyelids with great effort to glare at his overly cautious boyfriend. "Yuu, <em>please</em>, I—"</p><p>"Fuck, okay, yeah," Noya growled and really begin snapping his hips.</p><p>The mattress shook with the force of his movements as Noya fucked him deep and hard.  Blood and heat were rushing through every particle of Tanaka's body, and he could feel sweat dripping from the crooks of his knees and at the pinched skin of his hips and where Noya's equally flushed skin covered his.  His dick was still dripping onto his belly, and Noya's stomach rubbed against it sometimes when he moved, a teasing friction that sent little zings through his body.  They were a writhing, disgusting mass of flesh and bodily fluids, but Tanaka couldn't find it in himself to care at the moment.</p><p>A sharp pleasure suddenly ricocheted over his senses, and he let out a startled cry, arching his back up off the bed.</p><p>"O-oh, <em>fuck!</em>" he gasped as the edges of his mind tingled and went white.</p><p>"Yeah?" Noya asked eagerly, lifting his mouth from Tanaka's chest to look him in the eye.</p><p>He nodded helplessly, his lip caught in his teeth, and Noya delivered another precise thrust, stimulating Tanaka's prostate again in the process.  He felt his eyes roll back in his head as he pressed his head against the pillow as hard as he could.</p><p>"Here, one sec," Noya said, and he lifted himself up from Tanaka's chest.</p><p>Tanaka reluctantly unwound his arms and legs from him, and Noya straightened up to grip him under the knee and press his legs down, effectively bending him in half.  Noya's fingers gripped him hard, blunt nails digging half-moons into his skin.  He scooted forward, knees sliding in the sheets to bracket Tanaka's hips, and then he paused.</p><p>"Ryuu," Noya said softly but firmly, clearly demanding Tanaka's attention.</p><p>With great effort, he managed to peel his eyelids open. "Haah?"</p><p>"Are you still okay?" he asked.</p><p>Tanaka smiled, and he knew it probably looked stupid and dopey, but he didn't care. "Yeah, baby, I'm good.  I'm so unbelievably good."</p><p>"You'll tell me if you aren't anymore?"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, promise," Tanaka said impatiently. "C'mon, fuck me, <em>please</em>.  Fuck me hard.  I wanna feel this for like a week."</p><p>Noya grinned and began moving again. "Careful what you wish for, Ryuu," he purred, then kicked up his speed, plunging into Tanaka with abandon.</p><p>The air between them was filled with the sounds of their skin slapping together, Noya's grunts of effort, and Tanaka's breathy moans.  Being held down like this, pinned against himself, made him feel weak and submissive and used, the exact opposite of his usual persona.  And while he enjoyed being loud and causing a ruckus and intimidating strangers, he also enjoyed letting all of that fall away and allowing Noya take control.</p><p>Electricity shot up his spine once more as Noya's thrusts hit his prostate, and his toes curled in response.  His dick was straining between his thighs, red and swollen and begging for attention, but Tanaka knew that if he gave in and touched himself that he'd be absolutely done for, and he wanted this to last as long as possible.</p><p>"Oh, fuck," Noya panted. "You're so incredible.  Can't believe you're taking me like this."</p><p>"Hnnnn," Tanaka whined, eyes rolling in his skull.</p><p>"Wish you could see yourself right now," he continued. "Just sucking me in, so eager for my cock."</p><p>"Y-yes, <em>yes</em>," Tanaka moaned unabashedly.  He reached up and placed his hands over Noya's, squeezing them tightly as Noya fucked him down into the mattress.</p><p>"You close, Ryuu?"</p><p>He nodded helplessly.  Their activities over the past—what, half hour? hour? lifetime?—whatever amount of time had been building steadily up inside him.  The emotional high, the kissing, and the dirty talk alone were enough to overwhelm him completely.  Add in the careful and loving stretching and having his brains fucked out, and it meant the ropes holding him back were frayed to shit, and the pressure just kept building.</p><p>"Me too," Noya huffed. "Wh…what do you need?"</p><p>"No, d-don't, I…haaah," Tanaka hissed, trying to gather his thoughts through the haze of hormones. "Wan…wan' together."</p><p>"Such a romantic," Noya teased. "Alright yeah.  W-won't be long now."</p><p>Tanaka nodded, worrying his lower lip between his teeth as Noya's hips drove relentlessly into him.  His entire body was tense, taut, tight, on the verge of absolutely falling to pieces, but he had to keep holding on.  That was the only concrete thought left in his brain.  Everything else had turned to mush, just colors and sounds and sensory overload.</p><p>"Fuck," Noya breathed, and Tanaka felt his thighs start to shake where they were pressed to Tanaka's sides. "C-close, Ryuu."</p><p>"Hell yeah," Tanaka managed to mumble, and only because those words didn't require much effort on his part.  He lifted a hand and snaked it under his calf, fingers hovering just over his cock.  Hesitation halted his movements, because he really didn't want this to end.</p><p><em>But it's not the end</em>, he reminded himself.  It wasn't like last time, when he felt they were hurtling toward a cliff, and if they could only resist climaxing then they'd avoid the inevitably destructive crash.  No, this time they were in this together, hand in hand, strolling through a lush valley toward an endless horizon.  This wasn't the end of anything.  It was the beginning.</p><p>"I love you," he choked out. "I'm so…Yuu, I'm <em>so</em>—"</p><p>"I know, baby, I know," Noya said through his teeth, jaw clenched from his nearing orgasm.  He licked his lips, then said, "I love you too, Ryuu."</p><p>Noya leaned forward and kissed the inside of Tanaka's knee, just like he had earlier, right as Tanaka wrapped his fingers around himself.  One stroke, then two, and he was done for.  Every nerve ending in his body lit up like a goddamn Christmas tree, short-circuiting his brain in the process.  His body jerked uncontrollably as he came, and he was vaguely aware of Noya's loud grunting and gasping above him.</p><p><em>Noya's coming inside me</em>, he realized dizzily as Noya's hips stuttered against his, and yeah there was a condom in the way, but it was still happening.  He'd learned Noya's orgasm sounds well enough to know what was happening, and a ridiculous feeling of pride swept up his chest at knowing that he and his body were the ones to bring Noya this immense amount of pleasure.</p><p>Some unknown amount of time later, Tanaka's soul decided to reenter his body, and he became aware of the weight of Noya collapsed on top of him.</p><p>"Yuu?" he asked.</p><p>Noya groaned in response.</p><p>"Y'okay?"</p><p>"Mmmm."</p><p>Tanaka took a moment to relearn how to move his arms, and he lifted his left hand to Noya's hair, stroking his fingers through the dark sweaty locks.  Noya hummed contentedly in the back of his throat.  Somewhere in his mind Tanaka knew they were both disgusting and that his upper body was painted in cum and in a few minutes they'd probably be glued together, but he didn't care at the moment.</p><p>They laid together, just breathing in and out, chests rising and falling in tandem with each other, and enjoyed each other's general existence while they waited for feeling and conscious thought to return to their bodies.  It did, slowly, and Tanaka became aware of the ache in his ass and the general leaden feeling in his limbs.  His head felt like it was stuffed full of cotton balls, and for that matter so did his mouth.</p><p>"Ryuu," Noya mumbled. "Gotta…gotta pull out."</p><p>He flushed with the knowledge that Noya was still stuffed inside him and nodded. "Okay."</p><p>Noya struggled for a moment to lift himself up from Tanaka's chest.  His arms shook like they were about to give out, and, sure enough, some tacky bits of Tanaka's cum were stuck to him.  He leaned back on his calves once more and slowly began to inch his way out of Tanaka.</p><p>"A-ah!" Tanaka gasped, alarmed by the burn.  He hadn't expected this part to hurt, not after Noya had been pumping in and out of him so much.</p><p>"Sorry, I'll go slower," Noya mumbled, easing his softening cock out of Tanaka as carefully as he could.</p><p>"Oh, shit," he mumbled breathlessly.  He screwed his eyes shut, bearing the weirdly itchy sting as best he could until Noya was out of him.</p><p>Noya slipped the condom off and tied up the end, then awkwardly slid off the bed and stumbled over to the trash can by his wardrobe.  Tanaka watched him walk around, enjoying the way that his hair curled at the ends from the sweat and fact that Noya's chest was still flushed.  Small red lines striped down Noya's arms and thighs, and Tanaka blushed until they disappeared from sight, Noya having departed the room presumably for the bathroom.</p><p>Tanaka turned his head back to look straight up at the ceiling and took stock of his body.  Thoughts swam lazily through his head, which was still foggy, but he could feel it clearing slowly and steadily.  The sheets below him were gross and damp, and he was probably sticky all over from dried sweat.  His entire body tingled, wholly overstimulated by what had just happened, and he could feel ghosts of Noya's fingers trailing over his skin.  Down lower, his ass <em>ached</em> but in a good way, like after a tough but satisfying workout that left you proud of the soreness.  And he was definitely proud of this soreness.  He'd earned it, goddammit.</p><p>"You fallin' asleep on me, babe?" Noya asked, and Tanaka startled, eyes flying open.</p><p>"Nah," he lied.  He hadn't even noticed when his eyelids had started to droop, but he supposed it made sense after how much energy he'd just exerted following a sleepless night and an early morning.</p><p>"Mhm," Noya replied in a disbelieving tone.</p><p>Tanaka struggled up to his elbows and smiled at his boyfriend, who climbed up onto the bed with a damp rag in hand.  His own chest was clean, and he then began wiping Tanaka's.  The word <em>babe</em> from earlier formed a small, warm flame in his heart.</p><p>"How you feeling?" Noya asked, a slight shy lilt to his voice that Tanaka had never heard before.  It made him grin widely.</p><p>"Kinda sore," he said honestly, "but good.  Really, really good."</p><p>Noya blushed and kept his eyes trained on Tanaka's torso.  He carefully wiped up the mess on Tanaka's stomach, then moved lower to his dick, wiping the head and shaft carefully.  If he thought too much about it, he'd probably get hard again, but he wanted to wait until Noya was ready to go too.  Then Noya turned to his ass, carefully wiping away the lube that remained, and it was his turn to blush.</p><p>A low hum emanating from the back of Noya's throat as he worked, carefully cleaning Tanaka's ass and thighs.  His hands were gentle, just as gentle as they had been while stretching him open.  Tanaka remembered all of his fears, which felt so old and far away now even though he'd just been talking them out with Saeko maybe two hours earlier, and felt foolish again for ever worrying that this would end in hurt and misery.</p><p>Tanaka got the sudden urge to kiss him.  His gut twisted when he remembered that he could just <em>do </em>that now.  He didn't need to push it down or pretend he didn't feel it.  They could kiss whenever they wanted to.  They could do anything they wanted, and they'd do all of it together.</p><p>An entire lifetime of possibilities laid themselves out before Tanaka, and it made him go breathless.  He pictured a future full of inside jokes and pranks, of late nights and mischief.  He saw them graduating high school, going to university, then buying a house and settling down together in some place with a small garden so Tanaka could grow fresh herbs and vegetables for their meals.  They'd have days on the town with visiting friends and quiet weekends in, ending each day in each other's arms, content with the knowledge that they'd always be loud and raucous together but also gentle with when it mattered.</p><p>All the paths in the world were available to them right now, and they all started with Tanaka being able to kiss Noya whenever he wanted.</p><p>"Are you crying?" Noya asked suddenly.</p><p>"W-what?" Tanaka asked, alarmed by the moisture in his eyes that he hadn't even noticed.</p><p>"Should've known you'd be the one who cried after sex," Noya teased.</p><p>"Shut up!" Tanaka exclaimed, then surged upright with some effort.  Noya looked up at him with a question in his eyes, and Tanaka reached out and slid his hand along Noya's jaw to the back of his head in answer.  He brought their mouths together in a soft kiss, lips melting together like ice cream on a summer day and tasting just as sweet.</p><p>In a few moments they'd strip the bed and wash the sheets so they'd have a clean bed for the inevitable next go round.  Then Tanaka would cook them breakfast, and they'd go to the living room and play <em>Saints Row</em> just like back in August when this had all started.  And they'd be ridiculous and immature and so, so in love, and—with any luck—it would never end.</p><p>A soft sigh blew out Noya's nose, and Tanaka pulled away to press their foreheads together.  The pressure against his skull grounded him here in the present, pulling him away from the myriad of futures they could have.  He didn't want to get too far ahead of himself and miss out on right now, especially when right now was perfect enough as it was.</p><p>"I love you," he said, because it was true, and because he'd spent too long not saying it and needed to take every opportunity he had now to make sure Noya knew, to make sure he never doubted.</p><p>Noya smiled, hazel eyes sparkling and trusting and sure. "I love you too."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A final chapter filled with more fluff and smut will be coming next Friday &lt;3</p><p> </p><p>Porn videos in this chapter:<br/>- None</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Eight Ways to Sunday</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Three Years Later</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>BEEP.  BEEP.  BEEP-BEEP-BEEP.  BEEP.  BEE</em>—</p><p>Tanaka shot his hand out from under the blankets and fumbled over the bedside table until he found his phone and pressed the button on the side to snooze the alarm for ten more minutes.  The warm lump beside him in bed groaned quietly and shifted around, latching itself more firmly to Tanaka's side.  Amused, Tanaka pulled the lump on top of him and tucked a head of unruly hair under his chin and wrapped his arms around the small body.</p><p>Noya sighed against him, warm breath ghosting over Tanaka's collarbones as he pressed his nose into Tanaka's neck.  Tanaka let his mind relax again, Noya's body serving as his own personal gravity blanket, and drifted off for ten more minutes of sleep and cuddles, as per his usual morning ritual.</p><p>When the alarm went off again, it was yet again an unwelcome intrusion.  He'd just begun to dream about soft hands and warm mouths, but the details were lost to him now.  He wasn't too disappointed by the loss, though, as the details were right there on top of him.</p><p>He shut the alarm off and stretched his arms over his head, pressing his palms to the headboard behind him.  Noya stirred again, groaning unhappily as he slotted their legs together and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to Tanaka's throat.  He hummed approvingly and Noya shifted again, bringing their groins into contact, and Tanaka felt the hard length of Noya's cock press against his own.  A thrill shot through him at the feeling of Noya's morning wood, which, while not uncommon, wasn't an indulgence they could take advantage of often as Noya usually had morning volleyball practice.  Noya had today off, though, he reminded himself as he brought his arms down over his boyfriend's shoulders.</p><p>"Ryuu," Noya whispered, breathless with sleep and want.</p><p>"Yeah, love?" Tanaka asked, hands trailing down Noya's bare back.  The muscles were toned and hard from three years of college volleyball, as was the boxer-clad ass that Tanaka now squeezed appreciatively.  He used the leverage to rock their hips together again.</p><p>"Nngh," Noya groaned, burying his face entirely against Tanaka's neck.  The warm press of a tongue to the dip in Tanaka's collarbone had heat instantly flooding through him, thickening his cock where it laid in his sweatpants, pressed against his thigh by Noya's body.</p><p>Calculations flitted through Tanaka's mind as they ground their hips against each other.  He'd set his alarm early on purpose to give him plenty of time to get ready and mentally prepared for what awaited him today, but he could squish parts of his routine together and skip a couple things to make time for this.  He'd <em>always</em> make time for this, for Noya.</p><p>"Ryuu," Noya whined again, a finger tracing the line of Tanaka's jaw and hiccupping on the stubble there.  Tanaka hadn't shaved in a couple days and would need to before he left this morning, but he knew Noya liked the rough feel of it, so he tended to go a bit longer between shaves than he used to.</p><p>"What d'you want, baby?" Tanaka asked, his voice already rough with arousal.</p><p>"I want…" Noya mumbled, rocking against him again.  Then he shifted to lift himself up onto his elbows, pulling his face away from Tanaka's so they could look into each other's eyes. "I want you to get ready for your interview."</p><p>Tanaka blinked up at him, nonplussed. "I—but…but Noya, you—"</p><p>Noya suddenly spun out of his arms and rolled away, pulling all the blankets with him and leaving Tanaka cold and more than half-hard.</p><p>"B-but!" he sputtered. "Y-you, and I—we—"</p><p>"Time to get up, Ryuu!" Noya sang with wicked glee.</p><p>"I already am!" he snapped, gesturing sharply at the tent formed in his sweatpants.</p><p>Noya snickered, and Tanaka groaned loudly, rubbing his hands over his face in agitation.</p><p>"Sorry, sorry," Noya said, sounding at least somewhat regretful as he wriggled out of the blankets.  Once free, he got to his feet on his side of their small, cramped bedroom.</p><p>Their apartment was tiny but livable and only a half-hour train ride from Kobe University, where they both went to school.  City living had been an adjustment for both of them after growing up in the rural end of Miyagi, but it was exciting, and they had each other to rely on.  They made new friends and visited old friends whenever they could, which wasn't as often as they'd have liked, but that only made the visits they did get even more special.</p><p>"I did want to," Noya continued, "but then I remembered your interview."</p><p>"Don't wanna go anymore," Tanaka mumbled, palms over his eyes. "I'll be too distracted.  They'll ask me, 'Where do you see yourself in five years?' and I'll say, 'I'm sorry, I can't think past this morning when my boyfriend gave me blue balls.'"</p><p>Noya cackled, and it sent warmth through his chest despite his frustration.</p><p>"C'mon, you big baby," Noya said affectionately. "Gotta get you in the shower."</p><p>Tanaka whined and threw his hands down, letting them bounce on the mattress in an act of petulance.  His eyes easily found Noya, who was now stripping off his boxers and tossing them in the hamper.  He expected Noya to approach the wardrobe and pull out fresh clothes for the day, but he instead walked toward the bedroom door.</p><p>"Coming?" Noya asked, standing with a leg popped out so he could arch his back to emphasize his bare ass.  He sported a fading hickey just over his right hipbone, and Tanaka could've sworn it winked at him.</p><p>He perked up instantly, rising to his elbows to stare at him. "You're joining me?"</p><p>"We can kill two birds with one stone," Noya replied with a waggle of his eyebrows. "Clean your body and your pipes."</p><p>His dick twitched, and he wasted no time leaping out of bed and stumbling out of his sweatpants before he chased a squealing Noya out of their bedroom and into the bathroom.</p><p>Tanaka caught Noya around the waist, lifting him easily into the air.  Noya laughed and twisted in Tanaka's grip, bringing their mouths together in their first kiss of the day.  A hand stroked over the longish dark hair that topped Tanaka's head, then down over the shaved sides.  Noya's fingers pressed to the dip in the back of his neck and kissed him more insistently even as Tanaka bent to set him back on his feet.</p><p>They kissed lazily for a few moments, enjoying the slow slide of their lips and tongues until Noya gently pushed him away and turned around to start up the shower.  Tanaka placed his hands on Noya's hips and tilted his head down to press a kiss at the prominent knob of Noya's spine at the base of his neck, which he knew was the C7 vertebra only because Noya had used him countless times as a practice dummy for anatomy study.</p><p>"Mmm," Noya hummed, reaching back to trace his fingers over Tanaka's thigh.</p><p>Tanaka smiled as Noya tipped his head back against Tanaka's chest and kissed Noya on the forehead. "I love you," he said.</p><p>"I love you more," Noya replied, closing his eyes.</p><p>"Liar."</p><p>"Truther."</p><p>They giggled like children, then Noya reached forward and tested the water.  He must've found it satisfactory, because he lifted Tanaka's hands off his hips and stepped into the bathtub, tugging Tanaka along behind him.  The spray was warm and comforting, and they moved around each other with practiced ease as they grabbed their respective shampoos and wet their hair.</p><p>When they'd first moved into the apartment, the sight of their mingling bathroom products had Tanaka in tears.  Even though they'd existed in each other's spaces for years and had practically lived at each other's houses, seeing Noya's hair gel sitting next to his clippers on the bathroom shelf had really solidified to him that they were doing this, that they were starting their life together.  To this day, Noya still teased him about the fact that they'd spent ten whole minutes of their first day in Kobe on the floor of the bathroom with Tanaka crying into Noya's shoulder and mumbling over and over how much he loved him.</p><p>Tanaka tipped his head back into the stream of water, raising his hands to rinse the shampoo out of his hair.  Hair was such a hassle sometimes, and at least once a week he half-considered shaving it all off again, but he liked it when Noya ran his fingers through it, so it stayed for now.</p><p>Soapy hands stroked over his chest, and he looked down to see Noya scrubbing his body.  Noya's fingers pushed and pulled at the skin, which was already reddened by the heat of the water, in his quest to clean Tanaka's torso.  Steam and hormones filled his head and made him a little dizzy.  His cock stood at attention, ready for when Noya's hands would eventually dip lower and take it in his grasp.</p><p>"Switch," Tanaka said, and they stepped around each other so that Noya was standing under the shower head now.</p><p>Tanaka reached out and pushed his fingers through Noya's hair, scratching lightly at the scalp and pulling a soft moan from Noya's throat.  The suds slid off and away with the stream of water, revealing the dark locks hidden beneath the bubbles.  He delicately rubbed behind Noya's ears to make sure he got every last spot, and Noya sighed, tipping his head up like a cat enjoying some good scratches.</p><p>Unable to resist, Tanaka closed his eyes against the spray and kissed Noya's open, waiting lips.  Water dripped from their noses and slid along their mouths, slicking up their kisses, but the heat from the shower couldn't compare to the heat of Noya's tongue as it pressed against his.  He moaned unabashedly, fingers hooked behind Noya's jaw to keep him locked into the kiss.  Noya wasn't in any hurry to separate, though, if the hands trailing ever lower were any indication.</p><p>Noya took a step forward, forcing them out of the direct hit of the shower head and fumbled for the bottle of body wash once more.  Tanaka pulled his mouth away and latched on to Noya's neck to allow Noya some freedom to see what he was doing.</p><p>"No marks, Ryuu," Noya warned playfully. "Ichika-chan teased me for weeks after the last one."</p><p>Tanaka laughed at the memory.  Ito Ichika was Noya's closest friend in his physical therapy cohort and was a frequent feature in their lives as a result.  It was true that Ichika had made fun of Noya for the hickey, but the main source of the teasing was Noya's own fault because he didn't cover it for their group presentation and their professor made a note of it in her grading and feedback.</p><p>"She's just jealous," Tanaka replied instead of reminding Noya about that and licked teasingly at a prominent tendon in Noya's neck.</p><p>Noya shuddered. "Mmm, I think she's finally getting somewhere with Haru though."</p><p>"Finally," Tanaka mumbled, kissing lightly at Noya's throat to not leave any marks. "What did—" He cut off with a gasp as Noya wrapped a soapy hand around the base of his cock and stroked over it.</p><p>"Hmm?  What was that?" Noya asked, a mischievous lilt to his voice as he brought the tight circle of his fingers back down Tanaka's length.</p><p>Tanaka just groaned and rested his head heavily on Noya's shoulder, gripping hard at Noya's hips.  He rocked lightly in time with Noya's rhythm, mouth going dry with want despite the moisture in the air.  One hand detached itself from Noya's waist to find Noya's own hardon ready for him.  Noya's hiss in his ear was a gratifying sound, and he quickly matched Noya's rhythm.  They swayed in each other's grasp, the heat and arousal building to create a desperate creature that clawed at his insides, but still he want more.</p><p>"Y-Yuu," he whimpered.  Even after more than eight years of knowing each other and three years of dating, Tanaka still defaulted to calling him 'Noya' on most occasions, saving his given name for special situations such as this.  It was worth saving, too, for the effect it still had on Noya.</p><p>"Turn around," Noya said huskily, eyes wild from the use of his name.</p><p>Tanaka obeyed immediately, releasing Noya at the same time that Noya let go of him.  He turned to face the back wall of the shower, which was already close to him since the bathroom was just as tiny as the rest of the apartment.  Behind him, Noya popped the cap of the body wash again, and then Noya's hand was between his legs, slicking up his inner thighs.</p><p>"Noya?" he asked, unsure.</p><p>"Trust me?" Noya asked, and Tanaka nodded because he did.  Of course he did.</p><p>Noya's gentle hands guided Tanaka's legs so that he was standing with his thighs together, the opposite of the usual spread-leg stance Tanaka took whenever Noya fucked him against a wall.  He understood a moment later, though, when Noya slid his dick into the small gap between his thighs.  The slick friction against the sensitive skin of his upper thighs had him shivering, especially when Noya's cock nudged along the underside of his balls.</p><p>He braced himself better, pressing his face against the surprisingly cool wall of the shower with his arms bracketing himself on either side.  Noya's hands gripped his hips tightly, holding him in place as Noya fucked his thighs.  The stimulation for him wasn't as great as when Noya stuck it up his ass, but he'd always derived more pleasure from making Noya feel good than from any personal gratification.</p><p>And he didn't have long to worry about his own stimulation, as it was only a few minutes later that Noya bent forward to place kisses along Tanaka's spine and moved one hand around to the front and gripped Tanaka's cock.  Tanaka's whole body clenched at the sensation, thus tightening around Noya's dick, and Noya moaned loudly, the sound vibrating across the wet skin of his back where Noya was resting his head.  Pleasure zinged through his veins, and he kept his thighs tense even as the rest of his body relaxed into Noya's touch. </p><p>Noya's hips jerked up against him, slapping against Tanaka's ass as he slid easily between Tanaka's legs.  His grunts were loud and rhythmic as he stroked over Tanaka's cock and thrusted into his thighs all at once.  Tanaka's head was spinning, lewdly loving being used in this way, like his body was just a tool for Noya's pleasure, and he rocked his hips back in time with Noya's driving tempo.</p><p>He was warm, so warm, warm all the way through from the heat of the shower and Noya's touch, but he was cold too, the evaporating moisture on his skin causing a temperature fluctuation that messed with his inner equilibrium.  His body trembled at the sensation and from the hormones rushing through his veins.</p><p>"C-close," Noya panted.</p><p>"Come for me," Tanaka moaned. "Coat my thighs, Yuu."</p><p>Noya rammed against him several more times until he was shuddering and quaking, spilling his seed over the shower wall, Tanaka's balls, and down his thighs.  His grip on Tanaka's cock slackened and fell away as he trembled through his orgasm, but Tanaka didn't mind.  As Noya collapsed against his broad back, panting over the wet skin, Tanaka finished himself off quickly, adding his own mess to the shower wall.</p><p>"Mmm, sorry baby," Noya mumbled, lifting himself up off of Tanaka.  He rubbed a hand up and down Tanaka's spine, feeling the aftershocks of Tanaka's climax as they twitched through his body.</p><p>"What for?" Tanaka asked once he cleared the haze in his mind, turning around to face Noya.  He slid his arms around Noya's waist.</p><p>"You had to finish yourself," Noya said with a small frown, raising his hands to rest on Tanaka's pecs.</p><p>"Don't worry about that," Tanaka replied, dipping down to kiss him. "That was amazing."</p><p>Noya hummed happily, smiling against Tanaka's lips.  He lifted one hand from Tanaka's chest and swiped it over Tanaka's forehead, sweeping the wet hair off his forehead where it had been dripping down onto Noya's cheekbones.  Noya's mouth was warm and familiar under his, and Noya's fingertips trailed sparks in their wake as they traced the side of his neck.  Even after all this time, being able to kiss Noya like this, so freely and easily, still rocked him to his core.</p><p>"I love you," Noya murmured.</p><p>"I love you too."</p><p>They finished washing themselves and cleaned their mess off the shower wall, then set about getting ready for the rest of their day.  Tanaka felt jittery as he moved through his routine, his mind preoccupied with the interview that would be taking place that afternoon.  He was interviewing for a sports columnist position with the eventual goal of being a sports newscaster, which was the purpose for the communications degree he'd be receiving in just one more year.  If he landed this position now, he figured he'd be golden for his future by the time he graduated.</p><p>"Rice is ready," Noya called from the front of the apartment.</p><p>Tanaka left the bathroom, having finished styling his hair into the pompadour look he'd been favoring lately, to find Noya standing at the tiny counter that was technically their kitchen.  It boasted a sink, three cabinets, some shelves, and a single countertop burner.  Just a few weeks ago they'd taken a trip up to Hokkaido for a housewarming party at Daichi and Suga's new place in Sapporo, and Tanaka had openly moaned at the full kitchen.</p><p>Noya scooped the rice out of the maker into the two bowls he'd pulled down for them.  Tanaka sidled past him, pausing a moment to kiss Noya's soft, damp curls.  He didn't spike his hair much anymore except on game days.  Usually he just used a bit of hair gel to push the long parts at the front back and to the side so they were out of his face.  On off days, though, he let his hair be, and Tanaka loved the loose locks.</p><p>He moved away from his boyfriend toward the skinny shelving unit they'd invested in to expand their cooking space.  It cut into what counted as their living room, but the sacrifice was well worth it in Tanaka's opinion.  He pulled open the door of the mini fridge that sat on the bottom shelf of the unit and retrieved two eggs.</p><p>"Thanks," Noya said pleasantly, taking one from him and cracking it immediately over his bowl of rice.  He used a pair of chopsticks to break the yolk and mix it up in his rice.  In contrast, Tanaka pressed a well into the center of his rice and cracked his egg there.</p><p>Together they went to the small kotatsu in the corner of their quasi-living room and sat down to enjoy their meal.  Noya quickly cleared the table of his textbooks to make room for their bowls.  Tanaka was exceedingly proud of the effort Noya had put into his studies in college.  It was amazing what finding a subject you were passionate could do for increasing someone's motivations, and Noya discovering a passion for physical therapy had done exactly that for him.</p><p>"Nervous?" Noya asked around a mouthful of egg and rice.</p><p>"Ah, um, yeah," he said, poking at the egg yolk to break it.  The yellow bled out over his rice as he pushed it around a little, letting the heat of the rice thicken the liquid a bit before he dove in.</p><p>"You're gonna be great," Noya told him. "Wanna go over some practice questions again?"</p><p>"Nah, I'll just end up overthinking if I practice any more," Tanaka replied. "Thanks, though."</p><p>Noya swallowed another bite and grinned at him. "Of course, babe."</p><p>Tanaka smiled at him, then focused down at the bowl before him.  He used his chopsticks to scoop some rice up to his mouth and chewed thoughtfully, allowing his gaze to wander around the apartment.  It was small, yes, and the kitchen was pitiful, but it was entirely theirs.  Photos decorated the wall opposite the kitchenette, some framed like the autographed one of Hinata and his professional team, but most were not.  They were tacked up alongside cards and letters from friends.  Accompanying them were some movie posters, bi and pan pride flags, and their volleyball medals from both high school and college.</p><p>He loved this apartment, the place where their life together really began, but he knew bigger and better things awaited them in the future, starting hopefully with this job interview.  With it, they'd be able to save more to afford a nicer place after their graduation, and Tanaka could start putting payments down on the ring he had the link for saved deep in the recesses of his phone where Noya couldn't find it.  He flushed at the thought of it, fingers trembling slightly with the weight of what he felt for Noya as he lifted the chopsticks to his mouth, and enjoyed the companionable quiet of their breakfast.</p><p>/ / /</p><p>It was late afternoon when Tanaka returned to the apartment.  He'd attended to two classes then taken a train deeper into the city for his interview.  He was so nervous he'd sweated through his t-shirt before even arriving at the newspaper's offices and was glad he'd had enough foresight to not change into his suit ahead of time.</p><p>The interview had gone more than well—it was an ace in the hole.  They offered him the job on the spot twenty minutes in, and he had to restrain himself from ripping off his jacket and whirling it over his head in celebration in a bout of his former immaturity.  He'd saved that for when he got to the train station on the way home.</p><p>Before he opened the door, though, he schooled his features into a downtrodden, morose look and slid his key into the lock with a heaviness he didn't really feel.  He was gonna mess with Noya <em>so hard</em>.</p><p>"I'm home," he muttered under his breath, heaving a sigh as he dropped his bag on the floor and moodily kicked off his shoes in the tiny genkan.</p><p>"<em>Ryuu!</em>" Noya screeched, tearing out of their bedroom and down the short length of their apartment.</p><p>Tanaka looked up at the noise, the mask of disappointment falling from his face as Noya launched himself at Tanaka.  He barely had time to lift his arms in an attempt to catch his boyfriend before he was knocked backwards into the wall by Noya's velocity.</p><p>"Wha—" he started, but was interrupted by Noya's mouth on his.  Noya's legs squeezed where they were wrapped around Tanaka's waist, both hands clasped on either side of Tanaka's face, and he proceeded to kiss Tanaka hard enough to suck all the air from his lungs.  Tanaka's hands grasped him at the underside of his toned thighs, which were bare due to the boxers he was wearing.</p><p>"I—knew—it—baby," Noya said moments later between kisses that he deposited all over Tanaka's face. "Congratu—fucking—lations."</p><p>"I-I haven't even—you don't—" he sputtered in dismay. "How did you know?!"</p><p>"Just knew," Noya replied simply, kissing Tanaka's temple and placing his hands on Tanaka's shoulders.</p><p>"But I was trying to trick you!"</p><p>"I can read you like a book, Tanaka Ryuunosuke," Noya retorted.</p><p>"Five minutes at a time before you get distracted by your phone?"</p><p>Noya lightly smacked the back of his head. "Ass."</p><p>"You are what you eat," he replied with a grin.</p><p>Noya chortled, throwing his head back in delight, and Tanaka leaned forward to kiss the hollow at the base of his throat.  The laughter trailed off as Noya brought his head back down to press their foreheads together.</p><p>"So, big man with a big job," Noya murmured, tilting Tanaka's head to the side so he could kiss behind Tanaka's ear. "That's kinda hot."</p><p>"Yeah?" Tanaka asked, throat going dry as Noya licked up the ridge of his ear.</p><p>"Mhmm, feels like you should get some sort of reward," Noya huffed, breath hot as it blew over the shell of his ear.</p><p>A chill swept up his arms despite the layers he was wearing and Noya's small, warm body against him. "O-oh, um, yeah.  Th-that sounds good."</p><p>"What do you want, Ryuu?" Noya asked, moving to mouth at the side of his neck.</p><p>Tanaka leaned his head back against the wall behind him and sighed shakily. "You," he sighed breathily. "Always you."</p><p>"You already have me, sweetheart," Noya teased, but Tanaka heard the pleased note in his voice. "I'm sure you can think of something more…interesting."</p><p>"Sounds like you already have an idea," Tanaka mused.</p><p>"Hmm, maybe," Noya said, unwinding his legs from Tanaka's waist.  Tanaka helped, setting him gently down on the laminate flooring of the genkan.  Noya's fingers went to the tie around his neck and jerked it hard to bring Tanaka's face down near his. "How about you fuck me with your suit on?"</p><p>Tanaka inhaled sharply as his dick twitched in his slacks.  Noya's eyes were dark and trained entirely on him, and even though Noya was looking up at him, Tanaka felt like he was the smaller one, cowed as always by the strength of Noya's presence.</p><p>"Does that sound good, baby?" Noya asked, stepping forward to crowd Tanaka against the wall.  He slotted their legs together, brushing his hipbone teasingly against the growing bulge in Tanaka's pants.</p><p>"Y-yeah," Tanaka choked out.</p><p>Noya grinned, and it looked almost feral.  It <em>felt</em> almost feral, especially as Noya stretched up and nipped at his Adam's apple, then smoothed over it with his tongue.  A shaky moan escaped past his lips, and he slipped his hands under Noya's shirt and curled his fingers over Noya's warm, small waist.  His grip didn't last long, though, as Noya suddenly dropped to his knees, sliding open the zipper of his pants and reaching in with deft fingers to slip Tanaka's half-hard cock out of his dark briefs.</p><p>"Oh, fuck," Tanaka breathed, hands quivering where they hovered uselessly in the air.</p><p>He was transfixed by Noya's gaze as the smaller man began by playfully depositing little licks and kisses along Tanaka's swelling shaft before licking up from the base, tongue flat to cover the entire underside of it.  Then Noya reached the tip and paused to tongue at the frenum piercing Tanaka had gotten a few months ago.  It was the most recent in the series of body modifications he'd undergone in the past year and a half since he'd stopped playing serious volleyball.</p><p>Not making the team again at the start of his second year of university was disappointing to say the least, but he had to admit that everyone else really was a step above him in terms of technical skill and dedication.  Noya'd had a fit and almost quit the team himself, but Tanaka managed to talk sense into him.  And anyway he still played pickup games with the guys and other volleyball hobbyists when he could.  It also allowed him to get the piercings he'd been eyeing for a while now.</p><p>Currently, he had eleven piercings, with seven of them spread out over his ears.  Both were double pierced, and the right sported an industrial while the left had a conch piercing and a forward helix.  He was thinking of gauging next or adding a tragus piercing to his right ear.  Maybe that's what he'd spend his first paycheck from this job on, if he wasn't in the mood to be money smart.  Outside of his ears he had a single eyebrow piercing, each nipple, and the frenum, which had overthrown the nipple piercings as Noya's longtime favorite.</p><p>Tanaka shuddered as Noya flicked his tongue out over the piercing, teasing the skin between the ends of the barbell.  Noya brought his hand up to massage Tanaka's balls as he closed his mouth around the head and hummed, and the vibrations had Tanaka's eyes rolling in his head.  Noya's lips squeezed around the ridge of retracted foreskin that hugged piercing and the crown of his cock while his tongue worked at Tanaka's slit.</p><p>"Shit, that f-feels so good," Tanaka murmured, leaning his head back against the wall behind him.</p><p>Noya bobbed up and down on his cock, using just the barest hint of teeth on one of his upstrokes, not enough to hurt but just enough to cause sparks up and down Tanaka's spine.  He slurped lasciviously as he went and curled his fingers into the fabric of Tanaka's dress pants.  Tanaka was hot under his clothes, sweating already from Noya's ministrations, but he didn't dare take any of it off.  Noya wanted Tanaka to fuck him in this suit, and he'd be damned if he ruined that.</p><p>"<em>Fuck</em>," Tanaka gasped as Noya slid all the way down, the head of his dick nudging against the back of Noya's throat until he tilted and Tanaka was fully sheathed inside Noya's mouth.  Noya swallowed reflexively around Tanaka's cock as he held the position for a few seconds, nose buried in the soft fabric of Tanaka's briefs, until he finally pulled back, coughing slightly as he lifted away.</p><p>A thick line of spit connected Tanaka's erection to Noya's smiling mouth as Noya grinned up at him.  Tanaka could only weakly moan at the sight of Noya's red, wet lips, and then Noya was back and doing it again.  He finally did something with his hands, burying one in Noya's hair and bracing one against his own hip.  His fingers curled and tugged lightly at Noya's hair, not enough to pull or guide him, just enough to let Noya know he was there.</p><p>But then Noya pulled back and dropped his jaw open wide, tongue hanging out over his teeth, and looked expectantly up at him.</p><p>"Really?" Tanaka asked, voice hoarse with desire.</p><p>Noya nodded and waggled his eyebrows, flicking his tongue up to tease at the piercing once more.  Tanaka needed no further encouragement and tightened his grip on Noya's head, using it to pull the man a bit further forward.  He waited just a moment to make sure Noya's tongue was draped over his teeth again, both to protect Tanaka's dick and also to prevent Noya from chipping a tooth on the piercing, and then Tanaka was thrusting gently into the wet warmth of his mouth.  Noya moaned openly as Tanaka plunged in and out of him, the sound broken and jerky as Tanaka's dick repeatedly cut off the air flow.</p><p>It only lasted a minute, though, before Tanaka was pulling out to let Noya breathe and relax his jaw.</p><p>"Again," Noya gasped with a glistening mouth. "Harder."</p><p>"You sure?" Tanaka asked, always too afraid of hurting Noya to go any longer or harder than he just had.</p><p>"Fuck me, Ryuu," Noya demanded, and Tanaka bit back a twinge of disappointment.</p><p><em>So this is what he meant</em>, Tanaka thought to himself as he encased his cock in Noya's hot mouth once more.  He shook away the expectations his mind had conjured when Noya had first uttered those words, because this here was still more than he'd anticipated.  Noya didn't often relinquish control in their bedroom activities, and Tanaka never minded, in fact preferred it that way, but the occasional role reversal was of course welcome.  <em>This is still good</em>, he told himself, which was the truth.  Pleasure thrummed through his veins and pulsed through his cock as he fucked into Noya's mouth.</p><p>Small, choked-off gags filled the air between them while Tanaka plundered Noya's mouth.  They'd probably be audible to anybody walking down the hallway past their door, and their neighbors would probably leave them another passive aggressive note later, but Tanaka couldn't find it in himself to be ashamed.  Not when Noya's eyes were unfocused and hazy with arousal as he gazed lovingly up at Tanaka while he drilled his cock into his mouth.</p><p>Spittle and precum gathered at the corners of Noya's mouth and began to dribble down, but he didn't move to wipe it away, hands still grasping firmly at Tanaka's pants.  Tanaka jolted slightly, his rhythm unsteady for a few moments, thoroughly shaken by how licentious Noya looked since usually Tanaka was the one being debauched.  And since his hands hadn't moved, that meant Noya was still untouched in his pants, his cock likely stiff and aching while he focused entirely on Tanaka's pleasure.</p><p>Unadulterated love and affection for his boyfriend flooded through him with such a force that if it weren't for the wall behind him and Noya's hands on his legs, he would've collapsed under the weight of it.  Whatever Noya wanted after this was his for the taking.  His ass, his hands, his mouth—it all belonged to Noya.</p><p>"Look so good, baby," Tanaka grunted, ceasing his movements to give Noya a chance to breathe. "Doing so well."</p><p>Noya heaved in a gasping breath, swaying on his knees as he licked at his swollen lips.  Tanaka shook, his body buzzing with the rush of hormones and love.  He moved to curl his other hand through Noya's hair, gripping both sides of his head as he held Noya entirely still, waiting until Noya was ready to open his mouth again.</p><p>His lips parted, stretching wide in preparation, and then Tanaka was driving himself into Noya's slick mouth once more. Flames licked at his insides, curling up from the fire in the pit of his stomach which was burning brighter with every passing second.  He felt his thighs begin to quiver in anticipation of his pending orgasm, but just as he closed his eyes and began to fantasize about whatever Noya had in store for him after he'd drunk down Tanaka's cum, he felt Noya's fingers wrap around the base of his cock and <em>squeeze</em>.</p><p>"Wh-what—" he started, wincing at the near-painful sensation of Noya fending off his climax.</p><p>His hands loosened and dropped from Noya's hair, and Noya pulled off of him with a flourish. "Not yet, Ryuu.  Not yet."</p><p>"N…not yet?" he asked weakly.</p><p>"I've got more planned for you," Noya whispered, and a thrill swept through Tanaka at how utterly <em>wrecked</em> Noya's voice sounded.</p><p>He reached out and stroke a thumb over Noya's cheekbone.  Noya hummed and leaned into Tanaka's touch, his wide mischievous grin softening into something more akin to adoration.  There was a red-rimmed quality of Noya's eyes, meaning they'd probably been watering while Tanaka assailed his mouth, and Tanaka hadn't noticed.  A twinge of guilt flitted through his stomach.</p><p>"You okay?" Tanaka asked, thumbing at the delicate skin beneath Noya's left eye.</p><p>"I'm good," Noya said and captured Tanaka's hand at the wrist, holding it in place so Noya could turn his head and place a kiss in the center of his palm. "I'm so good, baby.  You're fucking <em>incredible</em>."</p><p>Tanaka's face burned, somehow more embarrassed by that statement than by the fact that he'd just facefucked his boyfriend.</p><p>"You ready for what's next?" Noya asked.</p><p>"Am I?"</p><p>Noya gave a roguish laugh and used Tanaka's hand to help himself back up to his feet.  His knees were red underneath the myriad of bruises that constantly decorated his legs, but Tanaka was thrilled that now some of the bruises there would belong to <em>him</em> instead of the sport they loved.</p><p>Eager fingers reached for his head, so Tanaka ducked down and let Noya bring their mouths together.  Noya's lips were just as slippery as they looked, sliding along his with ease.  A taste of tang bloomed over his tastebuds, and Tanaka jolted with the realization that he was tasting himself on Noya's tongue.</p><p>He moaned openly and chased the sensation, seizing Noya roughly around the waist and bending him over backwards as he dominated Noya's mouth once again.  Noya gasped in soft surprise and squirmed where his hardon was now pinned against Tanaka's thigh.  Tanaka smiled and used his other hand to hold Noya's jaw open as he swallowed all of Noya's sounds.</p><p>When he pulled away moments later, Noya was almost entirely limp in his hold, looking dazedly up at Tanaka.</p><p>"Damn," Noya breathed. "You're definitely ready for what's next."</p><p>Tanaka smiled and eased Noya out of the back bend.  Noya slid his hands down to Tanaka's chest, curling them around the lapels of his suit jacket.  He'd definitely have to take the suit to the cleaners after this, between the bodily fluids and the wrinkles Noya's constant clutching was inducing, but it was going to be damn worth it.</p><p>Noya pressed his mouth to Tanaka's ear, flicking at the ring of his conch piercing before whispering, "Now wait here five seconds, and then come after me."</p><p>"Five seconds," Tanaka repeated breathlessly, and Noya smiled in satisfaction.</p><p>He spun out of Tanaka's grip, practically skipping down toward their bedroom.  The door closed behind him, and Tanaka sagged against the wall like Noya still had him pinned against it.  His head swam with happiness over the job offer and the thrill of whatever Noya had planned in reward of it.  Part of him wondered if he was really worth all this, but the voice in the back of his head that sounded suspiciously like Noya shut that line of thinking down fast.</p><p>After an indeterminate amount of time, Tanaka began to make his way through the apartment to their bedroom, a bit of an awkward task with his dick hanging out of his pants, but trying to tuck himself back in would just suck and he didn't think he was allowed to take the suit off just yet.  He did reach up to  loosen his tie and unbutton the first two buttons of his shirt, though.</p><p>He'd probably waited longer than five seconds, but he'd really needed a moment to get his heart rate under control.  It was a lost cause anyway, though, as his heart beat was kicking back up with every step he took.  He swallowed thickly in anticipation as the bedroom door loomed before him.</p><p>"Noya?" he asked softly, knocking his knuckles twice against the door.</p><p>"Yeah," Noya replied, and Tanaka thought he detected a nervous quality to his voice. "Come in."</p><p>He grasped the door knob with a shaky hand, took one more breath, and let himself in only to promptly lose all the air in his lungs with one shocked exhale.</p><p>Noya was stark naked and lying prone on their bed with his knees tucked up underneath him, his bare ass high in the air.  His face was turned toward the doorway, pillowed on folded arms beneath his head, a stark blush painting his cheekbones.  Warm sunlight from the glass sliding door to their balcony drenched the room in golden tones.</p><p>"Y-Yuu?" Tanaka stuttered once he remembered how to breathe. "Wh-what are—I, ah—"</p><p>"Told ya before, didn't I?" Noya murmured. "Want you to fuck me in your suit."</p><p>Tanaka's mouth went instantly dry as sharp desire twisted in his gut.  His eyes went wide as he stood stock still in the doorway and stared at his boyfriend.  This was…well, this was entirely unprecedented.  They both preferred for Tanaka to be the one receiving, but on the occasions that Tanaka topped, Noya still liked to be the dominant one and would typically ride him.  In a position like this, Noya was giving up all control.</p><p>"Are…are you sure?" Tanaka asked.</p><p>Noya nodded.</p><p>"Babe, y-you don't—you don't have to do all this for me," Tanaka said, still frozen in place. "It's—I'm not—"</p><p>"I love you," Noya said softly, "and I'm proud of you.  And I <em>want</em> to do this."</p><p>"Yeah?" Tanaka asked, taking his first staggering step into the room.</p><p>"Yeah," Noya whispered, then licked his lips. "I'm curious, and I trust you."</p><p>Tanaka drew closer to the bed, and when he stood at the edge he reached out and put a hand in Noya's hair, pushing away where it had fallen into his face.  Noya's eyes shone as he lifted his head and offered his lips in a kiss.  Tanaka leaned over happily, kissing him swiftly as he moved his hand down out of Noya's hair to his neck to his back.  He flattened his hand over the plane between Noya's shoulder blades, then followed the upward curve of his spine to the jut of his hips.</p><p>Noya shivered and dropped his head back down, pressing his face into the crook of his arm. "I prepped myself while you were out," he mumbled sheepishly.</p><p>"Did you now," Tanaka murmured, straightening up so he could walk around the bed.  He kept his hand on Noya's lower back, thumb moving in gentle circles.</p><p>Once at the foot of the bed, his breath was stolen from him once more.  Goosebumps decorated Noya's pale thighs, and between them hung his balls and cock, which was red and leaking onto the comforter.  A wet spot had already formed in the few moments Noya had been there.  But what really drew Tanaka's attention was Noya's hole, pink and glistening from whatever Noya had done earlier to stretch himself</p><p>"Suppose I'll just have to double check," Tanaka said.</p><p>Noya whimpered, and Tanaka watched as his entrance flexed nervously.  He got down to his knees on the floor and used his hands to coax Noya into shuffling back a bit so he'd have a better angle.  His hands petted over the outsides of Noya's thighs, up from his knees to his cheeks and down again.  He could feel Noya relaxing into his touch, and he leaned forward, kissing the fleshy curve of Noya's ass.</p><p>"Hnnn," Noya whined instantly at the feel of Tanaka's lips.</p><p><em>He's wound up if he's already being this vocal</em>, Tanaka thought.  He wondered how long Noya had prepped himself, how long he'd planned and fantasized about this.  Had he jerked off while anticipating Tanaka's return, or had he waited all this time, straining and hard but holding out for Tanaka's dick inside him?</p><p>Tanaka mouthed over Noya's ass, pressing wet open kisses to the skin wherever his hands weren't massaging.  Noya's breathing was already ragged with excitement as he twitched under Tanaka's careful attention.  When Tanaka was sure Noya was almost at his wit's end with the teasing, Tanaka began inching his hands inward, dragging his thumbs over the cleft of Noya's ass and pulling him apart.  He place a kiss at the base of Noya's spine, then trailed his tongue down, down, <em>down</em>—lifting away just over Noya's hole.</p><p>"<em>Ryuu</em>," Noya growled petulantly, gyrating his hips in restless frustration.</p><p>An amused chuckle escaped Tanaka's lips and fanned out over Noya's skin, causing even more goosebumps, and then Tanaka lowered his mouth.  He sealed his lips over Noya's entrance, then flicked his tongue out against it.  It clenched immediately as Noya gasped, hips jerking from even that light touch.</p><p><em>Sensitive</em>, Tanaka noted. <em>He really must've spent some time working himself open</em>.</p><p>He pushed his tongue out again, stroking gently over the ring of muscle.  It contracted immediately, almost like it was trying to grab at him and pull him in, but he wouldn't give in just yet.  He laved over Noya's hole, rubbing his tongue against the tight whorl, and loved the way Noya was whining and grinding back against him already.</p><p>"How long did you prep yourself?" Tanaka asked, pulling his face away.  Noya whimpered at the loss of Tanaka's tongue and tried to rock back to chase him, but Tanaka remedied it by gripping Noya's ass and stroking his thumb over the hole.</p><p>"U-um, a…a while," Noya replied.</p><p>"A while?" Tanaka repeated, now using his other hand to massage Noya's balls.</p><p>Noya keened. "Y-yeah, a-ahh, umm…like an hour?"</p><p>"And you didn't cum?"</p><p>"N-no, I…" Noya swallowed audibly. "I wanted you."</p><p>Tanaka hummed with pleasure, using the pads of two fingers now to pet Noya's entrance. "I'm impressed.  That must've been hard."</p><p>"Mhmm, r-really—ah, really <em>haaard</em>," Noya moaned.</p><p>"And when you prepped yourself, what did you imagine?"</p><p>"You."</p><p>"What part of me?"</p><p>"A-all of you," Noya panted. "Please, Ryuu, I need—"</p><p>"What do you want?" Tanaka asked, ever the pleaser even as the dominant one.</p><p>"Your mouth, Ryuu, <em>please</em>."</p><p>"You got it, baby," Tanaka rumbled, then leaned forward once more.</p><p>He used both hands to pull Noya's muscled cheeks apart, then kissed the smallest, most private part of him.  His tongue teased over the hole twice more, and then he began to press in.</p><p>"<em>Fuck</em>," Noya gasped and pulled at his own hair, face pressed into the mattress.</p><p>There was resistance at first as the muscle grew used to being penetrated like this, but it relaxed quicker than Tanaka had expected, likely due to Noya's preparations.  He rolled his tongue, digging in even further until his nose was nestled right up against Noya's ass.  Noya was wailing, muffling his volume with a mouthful of their comforter.  Tanaka could feel him tightening around his tongue, and <em>fuck</em> that was hot.</p><p>Tanaka moved his right hand to grip Noya's sac, massaging it with his palm and fingers while his thumb pressed upward.  He rubbed at Noya's taint while his tongue continued stroking Noya's innermost walls.</p><p>"O-<em>oh</em>, yes, yesyes, fuck yes," Noya cried, hips rocking against Tanaka's face and hand.</p><p>After several minutes of this treatment, Tanaka migrated his hand upward, slipping a finger past the seal his lips had formed on Noya's ass.  He pressed his finger in alongside his tongue, and Noya almost howled.  His hips bucked backwards, chasing more, and Tanaka obliged.  He pushed at the edges of Noya's hole, stretching him over his tongue and finger simultaneously while holding him open with his other hand.</p><p>Noya moaned lewdly, not bothering to dim or muffle himself now.  They were definitely going to get a passive aggressive note from one of their neighbors after this.</p><p>Tanaka stroked into Noya at what would've been a brutal pace if not for Noya's prep work.  He curled his tongue and finger in opposite directions, stretching the muscle, and withdrew almost all the way out to pull at the edges of Noya's hole before he dove roughly back in.  Noya shuddered out gasp after gasp, and after a while Tanaka finally added a second finger, causing Noya to yelp so loudly the birds on the powerline outside flew away.</p><p>Okay, they were going to get notes from more than one neighbor at this point, but Tanaka couldn't find it in himself to care or tell Noya to be quiet, not when Noya was being so pliant and yielding.</p><p>It had never been like this before, even in the past when Tanaka would eat him out or fuck him.  Noya always had the upper hand, always had everything under control, always told Tanaka what to do.  But now Noya was shaking apart on Tanaka's tongue, lying prostrate and susceptible, almost helpless to Tanaka's actions.</p><p>Tanaka would almost be concerned about Noya's sudden turn in behavior if he didn't know firsthand how good it felt to just let go, to allow someone you trusted absolutely to take your most vulnerable parts and claim them as theirs.  Noya was placing his utmost faith in Tanaka, trusting Tanaka to take care of him, and Tanaka would be damned if he didn't follow through on that.</p><p>"You're being so good for me, baby," Tanaka whispered, warm words washing over Noya's skin. "How many fingers did you get to?"</p><p>"I, uh…" Noya swallowed. "I used the t-toy."</p><p>Tanaka jolted, his cock twitching and blurting precum over his dress pants, and his eyes slid closed as he leaned forward and rested his forehead against Noya's ass.  He licked his lips, picturing Noya fucking himself with the dildo they'd purchased a year ago.  It was a pretty simple toy, no fancy designs or vibrations, just smooth silicone with some bulbous curves, but boy did it do the trick when they were in the mood for something different.</p><p>"The toy, huh?" Tanaka huffed, pulling his fingers from Noya's ass and rising to his feet.</p><p>"Ryuu, wait—" Noya whined as Tanaka made his way around the bed. "I didn't—I wanted to be fully stretched, I—"</p><p>"I'm not mad, Yuu," Tanaka murmured, pulling open Noya's bedside drawer.  The dildo laid inconspicuously next to the lube, and he lifted both items out. "I'm turned on."</p><p>Noya squirmed, ass wiggling in the air and hazel eyes fixed on Tanaka.  He released the grip he had on the comforter and stretched a hand out toward Tanaka, his goal clearly Tanaka's aching hardon.  Tanaka reached forward and took Noya's hand before it reached its destination, kissing the knuckles, and Noya pouted.</p><p>"I'm good, baby.  Let me take care of you, yeah?" he whispered, kissing Noya's fingers once more before going back to the foot of the bed.</p><p>He set the dildo on the bed, then popped the lid on the lube.  Noya gave a bodily shiver, and Tanaka smiled as he poured a hearty amount of the slick substance over his fingers.</p><p>"I don't think we've ever used it on you," Tanaka said quietly. "Only me."</p><p>His fingers stroked over Noya's entrance, which fluttered eagerly under his touch.  He inserted his first two fingers again, like he'd been doing just before Noya's reveal, but quickly added the third.  Noya whimpered and rocked back against him as he curled his fingers and brushed against Noya's prostate.</p><p>"Did that turn you on?" he asked. "Knowing it's been inside me?"</p><p>Noya nodded desperately, rubbing his face against the comforter as he did so.  Tanaka reached with his left hand for the dildo and picked it up, tracing the tip of it down Noya's spine.  Noya moaned, high-pitched and keening, and Tanaka smiled.  He leaned forward and set it down beside Noya, then withdrew his fingers.</p><p>"Turn over," he said.</p><p>There was a pause, and Noya raised his head and looked uncertainly over his shoulder at him.  Tanaka smiled encouragingly, reaching down to lightly stroke himself.  Doing so almost hurt with how sensitive he'd grown from being untouched for so long, but the fireworks under his fingers made up for it, and the leftover lube on his fingers aided the motion.  Noya slowly lifted himself out of the prone position and rolled on to his back so they were facing each other.  His jaw flexed nervously, and Tanaka just smiled.</p><p>"Now show me," he instructed.</p><p>Noya's eyes widened, and Tanaka saw sparks flash in the hazel depths.  He reached beside himself and raised the dildo to his mouth.  He kissed the tip of it, and Tanaka squeezed himself around the base as Noya's lips spread over the silicone and sucked at the tip.  Ever an attention seeker, Noya made a show out of licking and mouthing at the dildo, visually teasing Tanaka until he finally took up the bottle of lube and uncapped it.</p><p>He poured a generous amount over the head of the dildo and spread it over the bulbous length.  Then he leaned back on an elbow and spread his legs, teasing the tip at his entrance, eyes locked with Tanaka's.  Tanaka had to swallow down the saliva pooling in his mouth, focusing instead on not stroking himself too hard and ending this far too soon.</p><p>A soft gasp escaped from Noya's lips as he began to push the dildo in.  Tanaka dropped the eye contact to watch as Noya's hole stretched to accommodate the toy, and his mouth continued to water at the sight.  He'd never been granted a clear view like this before, not even the times he'd fucked Noya.  The angle wasn't right when they were joined at the hips, but right now, with Noya spread out on the bed before him, sliding a dildo into himself, the view was perfect.</p><p>Tanaka was reminded of years ago, when this all started, when they'd masturbated together for months and Tanaka had sneaked glances at Noya whenever he could and told himself it didn't mean anything.  He thought of when Noya had called him a bit of a voyeur, and how right Noya had ended up being.  That was also the same night Noya had confessed to him in his bedroom, the night Tanaka had almost turned his back on everything.  He'd been so close to running away from it all and saying unfortunately no, that he didn't feel the same.</p><p>But now they were here, masturbating together once again but this time without any secrets kept from each other and themselves.  Tanaka was free to watch, to drink in the stunning sight before him as Noya hummed with pleasure while fucking himself with their dildo in their bed in their apartment.  All because he'd turned around and admitted to himself that actually, yes, he did have feelings for Noya.</p><p>Noya groaned, the toy fully submerged in him, and he began to slide it out again.  Tanaka was overcome with desire as he watched Noya's hole dilate and contract over the multiple curves along the dildo's length.  He wanted to feel those muscles constrict around him, to feel Noya clenching and moaning because of him.</p><p>"I laid back like this," Noya said huskily. "Fucked myself just like th-this, Ryuu, but I thought—I thought ab-bout you the whole t-time."</p><p>"Yeah?" Tanaka repeated and found his throat dry.</p><p>"Thought about you in that suit," Noya continued, guiding the dildo in and out of himself. "Thought about…about what would h-happen if you came home early and f-found me like this."</p><p>A flash of heat sparked in his belly, and he had to squeeze himself tightly at the base of his dick as he pictured that.  He thought about coming home, dropping his bag at the genkan, and calling to Noya with no response.  The apartment would be too silent, until it was broken by a strange cry.  He'd creep down the hall, ease open the door, and find Noya in a pornographic state, just like that fateful day three years ago.</p><p>He wasn't sure how he'd react if he'd walked in on this.  Maybe he'd watch like he was now, or maybe he'd toss the dildo across the room in a fit of jealousy and take Noya for himself.  Maybe Noya would be embarrassed to be caught, or disappointed that the surprise was ruined, or maybe he'd make Tanaka wait until he was ready, force him to watch and sit tight.</p><p>"Yeah, thought you'd look j-just like that," Noya said with a smile, and Tanaka immediately bit his lips, ruining whatever embarrassingly lovestruck and horny expression he'd been undoubtedly wearing. "I…fuck, Ryuu, I—"</p><p>Precum dribbling over Noya's stomach, and Tanaka fell to his knees on the bedroom floor.  He craned his head and gently licked up the substance that painted Noya's abdomen, careful to avoid any contact with Noya's cock.  It twitched in annoyance.  Noya let out a high-pitched whine through his nose and leaned his head back, stretching the column of his neck and exposing the strong tendons.</p><p>Noya's hand kept working between his legs, fucking himself in a way that had his thighs quivering.  Driven by want, Tanaka lifted his hand and reached to cover Noya's hand with his own.  Noya lifted his head slightly to look curiously down his nose at Tanaka, and Tanaka bestowed a kiss to the inside of Noya's knee.  Then he took control of the dildo and plunged it in hard.</p><p>A sharp cry tore itself from Noya's throat as his elbow slid out from under him and he collapsed back on the bed.  His heels dug in, lifting his hips, attempting to chase the dildo as Tanaka withdrew it.  But Noya hadn't needed to chase it, as Tanaka thrust it back in immediately.  Noya's hips rocked with the movement, mewling as Tanaka fucked him with the toy.  Tanaka smiled, then angled the dildo upwards, and—</p><p>"<em>R-Ryuu!</em>" Noya gasped, hands scrabbling desperately over his own chest until they landed on his nipples.  He pinched and twisted and shuddered out moan after moan. "I—I, Ryuu—"</p><p>"I got you," Tanaka said softly, slowing his pace.  His other hand snaked up, and he squeezed tightly at the base of Noya's red, eager cock.  Noya groaned, sounding almost in pain, and whined petulantly when Tanaka pulled the toy from his greedy hole, but when he raised his head to look at Tanaka his eyes were warm and lustful.</p><p>"So, how'd I do?" Noya asked.</p><p>"Hmm," Tanaka mused, pretending to deliberate. "I'm trying to find something to dock points for, but it's honestly an A+."</p><p>"Easiest test I've ever taken," Noya replied and quirked his brow.</p><p>"Then I guess you won't need to do the extra credit work."</p><p>"Guess not," Noya agreed, then lifted himself on to his elbows and grinned wickedly. "But now it's time for the practical exam."</p><p>Tanaka's mouth lifted in an eager smile at the cheesy line, heart fluttering in his chest.  Noya dropped his knees to the side, pale thighs laying open and inviting.  Tanaka licked his lips and rose to his feet again, leaning over to kiss Noya's warm soft mouth.  Noya sighed happily and brought a hand up to stroke the side of Tanaka's face.</p><p>"I love you," Noya murmured against his lips.</p><p>"I love you more."</p><p>"Impossible," Noya sighed before kissing Tanaka more fully, cutting off any protest he'd been about to give.</p><p>While continuing to kiss, Tanaka eased Noya forward to the edge of the bed.  Noya laid back again and Tanaka followed him with his mouth, then broke away to kiss along Noya's throat while his hand wandered over the bedding in search of the bottle of lube.  He found it easily and mouthed along Noya's ribs as he popped the cap and spread lube over himself.  His heart thudded against his ribs almost nervously as he stood fully and lined himself up.</p><p>They both moaned when Tanaka teased the head of his cock over Noya's entrance.  It flexed against him like it was trying to pull him in, but instead of giving in he rubbed up and down, brushing over the taint and nudging up under Noya's balls as he did so.</p><p>"Ryuu, please," Noya mewled. "I want you so<em> bad</em>, Ryuu, please, I need you to <em>fuck me</em>, I—"</p><p>Without warning, Tanaka pushed in.  Usually Tanaka considered himself a gentle lover, and in the future if Noya ever gave him this level of control again he'd probably stop at the crown and check in with Noya before fully submerging himself.  But for now Noya was begging Tanaka to fuck him, to wreck him, to use him.  This time, he plunged himself in straight to the hilt without hesitation.</p><p>Noya yelped in surprise, body convulsing from the shock of sudden fullness.  His heels hooked around the backs of Tanaka's thighs as if to keep him there, which was unnecessary as Tanaka had Noya gripped at his hips, holding him flush to Tanaka's groin.</p><p>"O-<em>Oh</em>," Noya gasped, jaw opening and closing as words failed him. "<em>Ryuu</em>."</p><p>"Yeah," Tanaka panted, nodding his head in agreement.  A couple locks of hair fell over his forehead, his hair gel finally beginning to lose its potency.</p><p>The most striking thing about being inside someone was the tightness.  It made what they were doing feel impossible, like Tanaka shouldn't be able to fit.  Noya's muscles clenched around him so hard he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to move again.  Add to that the all-encompassing warmth and Tanaka wasn't sure he'd ever want to.  Still, he was aching, and knew Noya had to be too, so he gathered his resolve.</p><p>He experimentally pulled his hips back a little and moved them forward again.  Noya's back arched, nodding silently as he brought his hand up to bite at his knuckle.  Satisfied, Tanaka began to move more purposefully.  He rocked himself back and forth, relearning the movements that were buried somewhere in his primal instincts.  His thoughts blurred, racing to recall how Noya usually liked to ride him.  It wasn't hard to remember; his mind was nothing if not an encyclopedia of facts about Nishinoya Yuu.</p><p>Tanaka started up a rhythm where he pulled almost all the way out before thrusting back in, angling his hips so they hit deep and hard, punching precisely with each stroke.  Noya responded well, mouth stretching wide to release a litany of moans and curses and senseless babbling.</p><p>"Fuck, Noya," Tanaka breathed, fingers digging in to the soft skin of Noya's upper thighs.</p><p>"Yes, yes," Noya moaned. "Yes, <em>fuck</em>, that feels so good, sweetheart."</p><p>Tanaka's tie swung back and forth with his movements, and his clothes stuck to him as sweat dripped down the small of his back, but he couldn't deny that he felt powerful like this.  A big man with a big job, Noya had called him, and now he was fucking his boyfriend senseless without even taking a scrap of clothing off, like he'd come home all wound up and couldn't wait a second before getting his dick wet.</p><p>He dropped his hips a little and changed the angle, trying to aim his thrusts more upward.  It worked, judging from the way Noya's body jolted from the stimulation against his prostate.</p><p>"<em>Shit</em>," Noya gasped. "Oh, Ryuu, yes<em>, yes</em> love, just like that."</p><p>Tanaka had to agree, but he couldn't help but feel like something was missing.  A ridiculous thought, really, because what could be missing when Noya was stretched out over their bed, crying out like a wild animal in heat while Tanaka pounded into him.  But then he remembered when he first came into the bedroom and saw Noya prone on the bed, ass in the air like a flag of surrender.</p><p>"Hey baby," he grunted.</p><p>"Y-yeah?" Noya managed between moans.</p><p>"You wanna turn over?" he asked.</p><p>Noya's eyes struggled to open, but when they did Tanaka could barely see the sliver of hazel around his blown pupils.  His lips parted, but no intelligible sound came out, and Noya had to settle for nodding enthusiastically as a whine blew out his nose.</p><p>Tanaka's gut clenched, and he grinned and nodded himself.  He thrusted a few more times, causing Noya's eyes to close again, and then he pulled out.  Noya flopped a bit on the bed, trying to regain enough control over his limbs in order to turn to his stomach, but Tanaka was impatient and seized Noya's calf just under the knee, sharply throwing it to the side.  The force rolled Noya almost completely over, and for a second he worried he'd been too rough, but Noya let out a pleased gasp and he relaxed.</p><p>"Scoot up," Tanaka commanded, climbing on to the bed once Noya pulled his arms underneath him and shuffled forward.</p><p>Noya lifted himself on to his knees, face pressed into the comforter and half-hidden by his arm as he peered back at Tanaka, who loomed over him.</p><p>"Still want this?" he checked, tapping the head of his cock against Noya's smooth cheek.</p><p>"Yes," Noya breathed, and his voice was wrecked with want. "Yes, please, Ryuu."</p><p>Tanaka needed no further encouragement, taking just a moment to adjust his hips and line himself up again before he was once more engulfed by Noya's tight ass.  Noya cried out and clenched around him, back arching as Tanaka filled him up.  Tanaka groaned at the sensation and struck up the same rhythm he'd been going at before they switched positions.</p><p>Heat sparked up his body from the base of his spine, short-circuiting his brain.  His awareness of the world around him faded until all he could hear, see, <em>feel</em> was just Noya Noya Noya.  He drove his hips relentlessly forward, slamming against Noya with each long thrust.  His suit jacket flapped with the movements, and he put one arm behind himself to keep it still.  The other hand he used to trace the dips and planes of Noya's pelvis before securing it at Noya's waist.</p><p>He wouldn't last much longer, he knew, based off of the way his blood was rushing in his veins and how the muscles in his abdomen kept spasming.  All he had to do now was decide where he wanted to cum.  They'd forgone condoms over a year ago, only using them now whenever they wanted to prevent a mess.  Regular testing was still a thing of course, but they both generally preferred the raw electricity of unprotected sex.  It honestly didn't feel too terribly different, but it was more the intimacy and trust inherent in the lack of latex that really got to Tanaka.</p><p>While the idea of painting Noya's back was pleasurable, especially with him face down and prone, Tanaka really didn't want to pull out until he absolutely had to.  He wanted to keep fucking Noya into the mattress until he spilled his load, and even then he wouldn't want to stop.  He wanted to fill Noya up, to mark his territory, to claim the deepest most intimate part of him.  He wanted Noya to be so blissed out that he wouldn't be able to move at first, that he'd stay pressed to the bed with his ass in the air while cum dripped down his thighs.</p><p>"Fuck," Tanaka hissed, delirious with desire at the mental images, and he dug his fingers into the folds of skin at Noya's hip. "I'm close, Yuu.  Where d'you want me?"</p><p>"A-any," Noya managed, but that was as far as he got before another moan clawed its way out his throat.</p><p>Noya was likely close too, having been brought to the edge so many times from his own preparation to all the foreplay they'd done to the way Tanaka was fucking him now.  And he was still untouched, Tanaka realized with a jolt.</p><p>As flames continued to lick and curl at his insides from the base of his stomach, Tanaka moved his other arm from where it had been holding his jacket back so both his hands gripped Noya's waist.  He briefly adjusted his knees to accommodate his plans, and then he began <em>ramming</em> into Noya.</p><p>"<em>A-AH!</em>" Noya cried, head lifting slightly in surprise at the change in Tanaka's rhythm.</p><p>His thrusts weren't long anymore.  They were short, punchy, and direct, full of force and speed.  There wasn't time between hits to recover or to savor the feeling, just wave upon wave of stimulation.  Broken, gasping moans muffled by the bed were music to his ears as he pistoned in and out.</p><p>Noya's body was shaking under his fingertips, toes curling in the periphery of Tanaka's vision.  Any moment now, he knew, fighting off the way his muscles screamed at him to slow down or stop.  He curved his fingers into claws and raked them over Noya's waist and upper thighs, leaving angry red scratches in his wake, and Noya let out a shrill wail as his body gave way to convulsions.</p><p>Tanaka couldn't see what was happening, but he could picture it: Noya's red, aching cock twitching as his load pulsed out of him, coating their bedspread with the seed of his climax, wrought from Tanaka's touch and his efforts.  He closed his eyes, held Noya around the hips again, and thrusted once, twice, <em>three</em>—</p><p>"Ryuu," Noya croaked, voice wrecked and heady and exactly the thing he needed to send him over the edge.</p><p>He groaned loud and unabashed, curling over Noya as his hips continued to rock with the force of his orgasm.  It washed over him like a tidal wave, erasing everything in its wake.  Conscious thought left his body, and all he could focus on was the pleasure throbbing through him so hard it was almost painful.  He collapsed against Noya's back, dizzy and panting from the exertion, and the two of them were nothing more than shivering, mindless bodies.</p><p>"Babe," Noya mumbled several moments later, shifting under Tanaka's weight.</p><p>"Yeah, love," Tanaka grunted, tilting his head to press a kiss to Noya's shoulder blade before lifting himself up with great effort.</p><p>He began to ease himself out of Noya and slowly became aware of the fact that he felt absolutely disgusting.  His suit was probably soaked entirely through with sweat, to the point that he wasn't sure the suit would be entirely fixed by the dry cleaners, and it stuck to him everywhere.</p><p>Despite this, once he was free and had tucked himself back into his briefs, he moved to the side of the bed and tugged Noya against his chest so they laid on the bed away from the stains of bodily fluids.  A shower could wait.  Post-coital aftercare and snuggles were the priority.</p><p>"How d'you feel?" Tanaka asked, resting his head on top of Noya's as he wrapped both arms around his boyfriend.</p><p>Noya curved his back to Tanaka's chest and placed his hands over Tanaka's arms. "Good."</p><p>"It wasn't too rough?" he asked, self-doubt creeping in. "Too much?  Too hard?"</p><p>"No, sweetheart, no," Noya mumbled. "I'll be feeling it for at least a week, but it was perfect.  Exactly what I wanted.  More than I'd hoped, even."</p><p>Happiness bloomed in his chest, and he lifted his head to press his face into Noya's neck.  He dotted Noya's throat with chaste, close-mouthed kisses, and Noya giggled.</p><p>"I love you," Noya said. "I love you, and I'm so proud of you.  This is a good step for you."</p><p>Noya was right.  It was a good step for him, a foot in the door at a reputable newspaper with connections that could set him up for life if he played his cards right.  They'd probably have to stay in Kobe for a few more years so he could build up a reputation and network, but that was fine since Noya would have to do internships and practicums and it'd be easier to do here where he could use his professors' connections.</p><p>But it was also a good step for them, a step toward a future the two of them were building together.  A future full of hope and laughter and love.  A future where they could afford to travel the world, buy a home, get married…</p><p>"A good step for <em>us</em>," Tanaka replied, voicing his thoughts.</p><p>He returned his head to rest on top of Noya's, and he felt Noya's smile under his cheek.  An overwhelming rush of love began to sweep through him, and he squeezed his arms tighter around Noya, trying to convey exactly how much he loved and trusted Noya and how excited he was for each day they had together.  All the time in the universe wouldn't be enough for the two of them, with all there was to learn and explore and discover about the world and each other, but he was going to take everything he could get.</p><p>"I—I've been saving money," he said suddenly, flushing down to his chest.</p><p>"Yeah?" Noya asked, shifting in Tanaka's arms.</p><p>Tanaka had to raise his head, and Noya now stared questioningly up at him.  He looked everywhere except Noya's eyes, choosing instead to look at the walls and the bed and the tufts of Noya's hair that were now curling from the drying sweat.</p><p>"For a ring," he whispered.</p><p>Noya went utterly still, and it wasn't until then that Tanaka had even realized that Noya had been quivering in the first place, but with a burning face he continued, the words spilling from him like water from a broken faucet.</p><p>"I know—I know we've talked about it in vague general terms, the future and all.  One thing at a time, right?  Cross that bridge when we get to it, wait till graduation when we're both stable and ready, but I…I've never been so sure of anything in my life as I am about knowing that I want to be with you for the rest of it."</p><p>He should shut up, he<em> knew </em>he should shut up, that he was being ridiculous and saying too much without even anything to back it up with.  But even so, he'd once almost ruined what they had by not saying what he felt, and he'd be damned if he ever let that happen again.</p><p>"A-and I don't want to scare you or back you into a corner, and we don't even really have to talk about it right now, but I wanted you to know that I've been thinking about it and I want it and I want you and—"</p><p>Noya sighed and raised his hands, pressing the heels of them into his eyes, and the switch in Tanaka's brain that controlled the words flowing frenetically to his mouth finally clicked off.  Panic froze his chest, sending horrid chills through his body even as he began sweating again.</p><p>"Ryuu," Noya grumbled, and Tanaka felt like crying.  He'd somehow misinterpreted something along the way, he'd made assumptions or miscalculated, or maybe Noya had changed his mind, or—</p><p>"What?" Tanaka croaked, because he suddenly registered that Noya had muttered something under his breath.</p><p>"Bodarin," Noya mumbled again.</p><p>"I—what?" he asked, a note of hysteria beginning to creep into his voice even as he tried to push it down.</p><p>Noya sighed again and brought his hands down from his face.  Tanaka was staring fixedly at the hollow of Noya's throat, one of his favorite spots on Noya's body, trying to memorize it in case this was the last time he ever saw it, until Noya slid a hand along his jaw.  He leaned into the caress instinctively and obeyed when Noya guided his face close to the point he could look nowhere but deep into Noya's eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"I bought a ring," he said clearly, no mumbling or muttering, just exact enunciation and a voice full of affection.</p><p>"Huh?" Tanaka squawked.</p><p>Noya grinned sheepishly. "A few months ago.  There was, like, a mega sale, and it's so perfect, Ryuu, I couldn't pass it up, so I called my mom and she helped me finance it.  I've been paying her back little by little.  It's with her, by the way.  I didn't trust myself to hide it from you without losing it, but anyway—"</p><p>"You…" Tears suddenly burned in Tanaka's eyes as his brain processed the surprise. "It's for me?"</p><p>"Yes it's for you, you moron," Noya said with a laugh.</p><p>"You bought a ring for me," Tanaka said. "To propose to me with."</p><p>Noya dropped his gaze and stared sheepishly at the tip of Tanaka's nose instead, the fingers of his right hand curling around Tanaka's jaw. "Eventually, yeah.  Like you said, we haven't talked specifics or a timeline or anything."</p><p>"But we're on the same page?"</p><p>"We've always been on the same page," Noya said with a chuckle.</p><p>They have been, haven't they?  Ever since that day in the park—hell, ever since Tanaka spotted Noya across the street—they've been on the exact same wavelength, their frequencies compatible since day one.</p><p>"A-and you want to…" Tanaka swallowed.</p><p>"Want to—what, marry you?" Noya asked, and he glanced up into Tanaka's eyes again. "Yeah, Ryuu.  Of course I do."</p><p>An embarrassing whine escaped from the back of Tanaka's throat, and then he was mashing their mouths together in a sloppy kiss.  Noya laughed gleefully into his mouth, and Tanaka shifted so he was basically lying on top of Noya, pinning him to the bed.  He was still fully clothed, and Noya was still naked with Tanaka's jizz leaking out of him, and their bed was a filthy mess, and they both had homework to do and exams to study for, but Tanaka was the happiest he'd ever been.</p><p>"I want—I want it all," Tanaka breathed, pulling away to press their foreheads together. "I want everything.  I want everything with you."</p><p>"You can have it," Noya replied, looping his arms around Tanaka's neck.</p><p>And they could, they really could.  An infinite number of choices for the two of them stretched out in Tanaka's mind, and no matter which they made, he knew they could handle it together.</p><p>Tanaka reflected back, as he often did, to three years ago when his sister sat him down at their dining table and forced him to confront everything he'd been running from.  He wished he could go back and tell that scared teenager that it would all be okay, that life would be indeed be bigger and scarier than he could imagine, but it would also be more beautiful and fulfilling than he could've dreamed, and that he'd get to experience it all with his best friend at his side.</p><p>"I love you," Tanaka told him, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.</p><p>"I love you too," Noya murmured back.</p><p>And that was all he needed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The end =,)</p><p>Thank you SO MUCH for reading this behemoth of a fic, and thank you for all of your kind words on each chapter.  It makes me so happy to see this rarepair get the love it deserves, and know I have a lot more ideas for these two</p><p>You may notice that this is now part of a series!  I have two more works planned: a YakuNoya oneshot prequel about the handjob mentioned in Chapter 3 and a sequel following the story's events from Noya's POV.  If you're interested in either of those, feel free to subscribe to either me or the series</p><p>Also, this fic now comes with MUSIC!  My lovely fiancée (<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/liquidtime/pseuds/liquidtime">liquidtime</a> here on AO3) made a playlist for this fic.  It can be found on Spotify <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7LD0T84XGxR0EeiEdz0mLf?si=211fd65fd7654f61">here</a>, and it follows the story with four songs per chapter &lt;3</p><p>Thank you again for all the love and support!  Let me tell you this ship hit me like a train.  I went from "ah they're such good bros" to "but what if it wasn't just bros" in like a week, and before I knew it I wrote 97k words and started a TanaNoya tumblr lmao.  With rarepairs it's easy to feel like you're alone in being enthusiastic about something, so it's really gratifying to find so many people who are open to these dumb boys being in love</p><p>Till next time &lt;3</p><p>~Ki<br/><a href="http://linktr.ee/kicon">My socials</a></p><p>Porn videos in this chapter:<br/>- None</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>